CHAPTER 1

How It All Began

I'm not a cowgirl, but I did live on a farm with my father and mother Arthur and Mabel Barrilleaux, my three brothers, and one sister. I was a country girl being that my father had about 50 head of cattle. My mother had her chickens, pigs, etc. So I guess we were rich with all what we had and most importantly, love.

My first and second marriages both ended in divorce. It did not matter who was at fault - two marriages were over. In my first marriage, I prayed to God for the marriage. But the need changes I prayed for never came. As a result, the marriage ended and I no longer trusting God. The second marriage was the same way. I did not understand what was going on so once again, I prayed to God for an answer. I have three boys - Allen, Lester, and Arthur. Allen and Lester were born before I was married to Lester. Arthur was born during my marriage to Lester Sr., who is also my son Lester's father. Allen's father is Alan. We were never married. During our marriage, my second husband, Nolan, was in prison. It was during one of those visits that I met my present husband, Dean.

On one particular visit to Nolan at Louisiana State Penitentiary, he decided to visit with someone besides me. I decided at that moment to leave and never return. I never went back to see him. He would write me letters but would not respond to him. I used to joke around with my present husband, Dean at Camp Win-a-Friend that both Dean and Nolan would send me Christmas, birthday, and Mother's Day cards, which would arrive on the same day.

Camp Win-a-Friend was a state trooper camp located in Holden, Louisiana. The camp was initially established to the benefit of underprivileged children. It was designed for the kids to have a great deal of fun. Inmates were also housed at the camp. The inmates were all trustees.

As time progressed, I once again began seeking God for answers concerning my personal life. It seems like my prayers were not going anywhere. Little did I know, things would change in a major way.

CHAPTER 2

The Day We Met

I met my present husband, Dean through a friend around Easter in 1993. Dean's real name is Venson Dean. He prefers to use his middle name. During this time, we shared many conversations about ourselves. We talked a lot about our families. It was also during this time that he met my three boys

We started seeing each other at the Louisiana State Police camp in Holden called Camp Win-a-Friend. While I was actively visiting Nolan, I became friends with the wife of another inmate was also visiting her husband. When her husband went to this camp, I let her stay with me. At the time, I was living in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, and she was living in Texas. She and her husband decided to play matchmaker and got Dean and me together. During one visit when my friend came to town to visit her husband, she persuaded me to speak to Dean on the phone. It also took some persuading on his end as well because he did not want to talk to me. He eventually decided to give us a try. We also agreed to meet.

When my friend and I went to Camp Win-a-Friend, there was a road off the main gravel road at the time. That road was long, and it was awhile before we arrived at the camp. My friend's husband and another inmate came to the road to meet us. Since I did not know which one Dean was, I ducked down in the truck so he would not see me. I wanted to surprise him.

When we arrived at the campgrounds, two men came out of the kitchen. One was in dress clothes and the other one in blue jeans. I was not sure which one was Dean until I got out and walked toward them. Dean stepped out to meet me, and I reached out my hand to shake his. One thing I immediately noticed about him is that he had calluses on his hands. This told me that I was standing before a man that was not afraid to work. This is something you just don't see today.

After some time, the boys and I would visit Dean on Sundays. The boys would swim and play in the arcade game room at the camp. Initially, Dean's daughters would come and see him. Since they were young, either the girls' mother or someone else would bring them. I did not meet his girls because their visit stopped around the time I started seeing Dean. I never found out what happened. Later, when his daughter, Rishia René became an adult, she decided to visit her Aunt Paulette and Uncle Glen - Dean's sister and brother-in-law. Paulette later called me and asked for Dean's address. She told me his daughters wanted to write him and that they wanted to visit him. I asked if I could meet her. Paulette asked Rishia René and she said yes. She looks so much like my daughter-in-law Tonya.

CHAPTER 3

Dean's Story

Dean's first wife was Vivian. They were married before Dean went to prison. They have two girls - Rishia René and Sunde Gayle.

Before he went to prison, he was in the Army National Guard. He learned to be a heavy equipment operator. Dean mastered his craft in this position. He makes a talent out of it. There's more than just operating equipment. He has a gift.

About a week after Dean asked me if I wanted to know why he was in prison. I told him it was up to him. I did not want him to feel pressured to talk about it. I knew that he would tell me when he was ready. He decided that he was ready to share the detail of his incarceration with me. When I heard about the event that led to his life sentence in prison, I was in utter disbelief. I was astounded that the court system could render such an unfair version of justice during his trial. They kept evidence from the jury.

CHAPTER 4

Providing For My Family

In 1994, I began working as a cashier. At this time, I was also attending classes at the Vocational Technical College in Baton Rouge, Louisiana to study mechanics and the Vocational Technical College in Port Allen, Louisiana to train as a nurses' aide. I was an experienced eighteen-wheeler driver and school bus driver. With every job I obtained, there was always an issue concerning childcare. My sons were ages 12, 9, and 6 respectively. I could not get a babysitter or day care for sons. So most of the time, they were latchkey kids. I didn't like it but at the time, I didn't have a choice. I could not afford to pay a babysitter or daycare tuition because I had a low paying job and was only receiving three hundred dollars of child support from Lester Sr. for Lester and Arthur. Although I was a hard worker, it was extremely hard for me and my sons.

My boys and I were not attending church. Time was not something I had a lot of at this time. I did not have time for me or my boys let alone to visit a man I was falling in love with in prison. Dean's inability to do things with the boys and me was a lot to digest.

The world wants you to believe that just because a person is in prison they are unlovable. That they should be cast aside as if they have no feelings or worth. This is far from the truth. These are individuals that have the same capacity to love as if they were not a part of the penal systems. Some tend to disregard the fact that a person can rehabilitate themselves even after being found guilty in a court of law by a jury of his or her peers. Society also feels that instead spending funds on inmates who are innocent or who may have been rehabilitated; the funds should be put toward something more important as further educating our children. We can keep writing off individuals because of mistakes that they may have made in the past but want to live a different life. Dean helped me to understand the process in which potential jurors are selected. This occurs through the voter registration list. I personally feel that they should be selected from the Department of Motor Vehicles records because then it would include all of the people.

With Dean and me, money was never an issue nor did it ever come up. While Dean was at Camp Win-a-Friend, it was nice to be able to visit him often. He would call me every night.

CHAPTER 5

Changes That Affected Our Lives

Because of childcare issues that I was still experiencing, I decided to move away from Baton Rouge, Louisiana. I was so afraid that something would happen to my kids while I was working. I began focusing on find a place to live out in the country to be closer to Dean. Eventually in 1994, I found a trailer outside a town called Loranger, Louisiana. I was even able to get a transfer from the convenient store I worked at in Baton Rouge to another one in Denham Springs, Louisiana with the same company. Once again I was faced with the problem of not being home with my kids. But I worked as hard as I always did. I was still praying every now and again but did not believe in faith was not attending church or reading the Word of God in order find answers for my situation. Because of my schedule, my boys once again became latchkey kids.

Initially, the move was a little difficult for my sons. They were accustom to the city life and found country living to be rather boring. They felt that there was more extracurricular things to do in Baton Rouge than in Loranger. As they adjusted to their new environment, they were able to make new friends and even felt freer to roam around.

One day, my son Lester got hit by a truck. My neighbor called me at work to tell me and I told her I was on my way. I informed my customer what had happened, that I had to leave to see about my son. I also asked him to tell my manager. When I got home, my landlord took me to the hospital. Because I did not have any information on his condition, I was worried out of my mind! I was afraid he was not doing well. When we walked into the emergency room, Lester was sitting up and joking. He only had a bad cut on his foot. I was so relieved.

After my son's accident, Dean told me to apply for a job at W D Warehouse. The position would provide me with more stable hours and better pay. I went to W D and applied, but they did not hire me. Before leaving, the guard that was on duty asked me if I would like to work as a guard. I asked her what days I would be working, and she told me Monday thru Friday. So I talk to the head of security W D Warehouse, and he hired me on the spot. No application was filled out. This was indeed a blessing! The hours worked great for me because I was off work and at home when my boys got home from school every day. My life was starting to change for the better. Here for the first time I had a job that I can be home with my boys. The salary was not great, but it was a job. I was still receiving child support from Lester Sr. - Lester and Arthur's father. Even with changes, I got through every obstacle that presented itself. I started attending church on Saturdays and even visited Dean more on Sunday. As Dean and I began to talking more, my love for him grew. Dean did not understand why I wanted to have a relationship him being that he was serving a life sentence.

He would keep telling me that he had a life sentence. I would also tell him that he is no different from any other man. When all this was going on Dean's mother, would come and see him. Nell was to come on the other Sunday that I was not coming.

CHAPTER 6

Meet the Family

I met Dean's relatives. Saying that they did not want me in Dean's life is an understatement. But Dean and I got through some struggles. The one thing I did was try to do the right thing. But I was still praying. As stated previously, I also started going back to church.

I guess you could say that Dean's mother Nell and I were jealous of each other. We did not visit Dean on the same days. So she decided that she would not come when I came to visit. Dean would have to give his mother the attention. So we would have the time it would take a while.

Dean has four sisters and two brothers. One of his brothers, father Vincent and his mother, Neller has passed on in 2013.

CHAPTER 7

The Beginning of a Wonderful Courtship

I can remember one particular time while visiting Dean; he asked me if I would go with him down the river in a canoe with the group. I told him yes. Inside I was a little apprehensive because I didn't know how to swim. I could tell that he was a much liked person by the way some of the boy scouts and their parents reacted to him. This gave me some comfort about going to the river. They would prank each other. Just had plain old fun. The boy scouts would have events at the state trooper camp in Holden, Louisiana periodically throughout the year.

We went down the river. The scenery was beautiful, and I was enjoying myself. It has been a long time since I'd done something for myself. As we went around this bend, we could see the cliff that was at the camp. As Dean got closer, Dean asked me if I knew how to swim. It was late to ask me now! Ha ha! I said no. He said that we were about to be dunked in the water. There were some scouts hiding behind a tree that fell in the water. Their parents were on the cliff watching us down below in the river. I started to yell "I can't swim; I can't swim!" Even though I could not swim, I was not scared of drowning. I trusted Dean. He said they can't hear you because they were excited to see what was about to happen next. When we reached the area were the scouts were located, they came out to tip the boat. I was holding on to the canoe. Dean dived in the water. I went under with the canoe holding on. I came up trying to breathe. Then I was grabbing on Dean. He told me "I will push you in the sandy place to stand up." And that's what happened.

We left the cliff area and returned back to the camp. As I was telling the parents that I did not know how to swim, they were feeling bad. I said that everything was all right and that I enjoyed every bit of it. The scouts use to enjoy playing games with Dean. Dean suggested that I bring the boys to the camp so that we could all swim together. I said okay. I was excited because Dean was going to teach us how to swim. There also was a game room where the boys would go and play the games. As we became closer, Dean would do everything in his power to help me and be there for me like I was there for him. Dean helped me fix my car because the ball joint was going out. This helps me out a lot because I was not making enough to handle automobile repairs that came up. Overall, I was becoming more comfortable with the way thing were going in our relationship. I was starting to take control of my life. Next, my life was turned upside down.

CHAPTER 8

Trouble at the Camp

Dean called one night to tell me that Mr. B had a heart attack. Mr. B's family lived at the camp. His wife told his daughter to go tell Dean to come get Mr. B because Mr. B was not feeling well. They knew Dean knew the area. He grew up where the inmate was staying.

Dean and another inmate went over to Mr. B's house. They help him dress to go to the doctor to be checked out. Dean and the other inmate put Mr. B in the state truck. Dean drove Mr. B, his wife, and daughter to the Hood Memorial Hospital in Amite, Louisiana. They took him in the emergency room. Dean waited for a while. Mr. B's wife came out to tell Dean that they were going to keep Mr. B, because he had a heart attack. So Dean called the lieutenant to come and get him from the hospital. Even though Dean had no one watching him or the inmates that were at the camp, everyone did the right thing. They did so not because of where they were or who they are, an inmate, but because it was their choice to make. Dean called the lieutenant, who watches them at the camp in the daytime and during the week, to let him know what was going on.

Dean waited there until someone came and got him. He could have walked off. This action reflects the innocent mind set, as all choices reflect thoughts and intention as well as the inmate at the camp. He took responsibility to bring Mr. B to Hospital and then called the lieutenant to pick him up and bring him back to camp. This showed his trustworthiness to pass up the chance to escape as well as the inmates at the camp.

There was another inmate that had only months left to be release from prison. He didn't want to do anything at camp. This selfish act would place his responsibilities on the shoulders of the other inmates. When he initially arrived at the camp, he had asked Dean to see if I had a friend. So I talk to a friend I knew. She wanted to see him and made efforts to meet him in person. After their introduction, she came to see him on a regular basis.