The Way of Asking

Let us start this first chapter with a story about the first prayer for success recorded in the Bible:

Abraham was old, and well stricken in age. Yahweh had blessed Abraham in all things. Abraham said to his servant, the elder of his house, who ruled over all that he had, "You shall go to my country, and to my relatives, and take a wife for my son Isaac." The servant said to him, "What if the woman isn't willing to follow me to this land? Must I bring your son again to the land you came from?" Abraham said to him, "Beware that you don't bring my son there again? Yahweh, the God of heaven, who took me from my father's house, and from the land of my birth, who spoke to me, and who swore to me, saying, 'To your descendants I will give this land,' He will send his angel before you, and you shall take a wife for my son from there? If the woman isn't willing to follow you, then you shall be clear from this my oath. Only you shall not bring my son there again." ... The servant took ten camels, of his master's camels, and departed, having all goodly things of his master's in his hand? He arose, and went to Mesopotamia, to the city of Nahor? He made the camels kneel down outside the city by the well of water at the time of evening, the time that women go out to draw water? He said, "Yahweh, the God of my master Abraham, please give me success this day, and show kindness to my master Abraham. Behold, I am standing by the spring of water. The daughters of the men of the city are coming out to draw water. Let it happen, that the young lady to whom I will say, 'Please let down your pitcher that I may drin.' She will say, 'Drink, and I will also give your camels a drink.' Let the same be she who you have appointed for your servant Isaac? Thereby will I know that you have shown kindness to my master." It happened, before he had done speaking, that behold, Rebekah came out. (Genesis 24:1–15a WEB)

Eliezer, the trusted servant, was on a mission to find the perfect wife for Abraham's son Isaac. The requirements were clear: she had to be from Abraham's hometown, a relative from Abraham's father's descendants, one who understood that she was entering a special family with a special mission, who would make a suitable matriarch of the clan, and who was willing to leave her home and family to start a new life with a man she had never met in a faraway land.

Mission impossible, you say? Eliezer started out on the journey with a train of camels laden with gifts and a group of servants and guards. He must have wondered along the way how he would find the perfect wife for Isaac, one who would meet all the requirements Abraham had given. Finally arriving in Mesopotamia and finding Abraham's relatives' hometown, he did the natural thing and stopped by the town's well. The men were thirsty, and the camels needed water.

It was toward evening, the heat of the day was beginning to fade, and women were coming to draw water for the evening meal. Eliezer had seen the blessings that God granted Abraham through the years. As he stood there watching the young women coming to the well, he prayed a simple prayer: "Lord, God of my master Abraham, please give me success today. Let it happen, that the young lady to whom I will say, 'Please let down your pitcher that I may drink.' She will say, 'Drink, and I will also give your camels a drink.' Let the same be she who you have appointed for your servant Isaac" (Genesis 24:12-14, WEB). Before he had even finished praying, Rebekah came to the well. She was young and beautiful and had a peaceful, contented look on her face. Eliezer's eyes lit up? He hurried to ask her for a drink. Rebekah responded exactly as he had prayed!

A little further questioning revealed she was the granddaughter of one of Abraham's brothers. Learning that he was from her great-uncle Abraham in Canaan, Rebekah promptly reported to her family. Her brother Laban came running to invite Eliezer and his men as the women prepared a meal for the hungry travelers. But before he would eat, Eliezer was determined to finish what he had set out to do.

As he outlined his request, the men of the family recognized that this was part of the divine plan. They agreed to let Rebekah go with Eliezer to Canaan to become Isaac's wife. They asked for ten days, but Eliezer insisted on leaving the next morning. They finally got around to asking Rebekah what she thought, although I'm sure she must have been listening through a partition the whole time.

Rebekah's answer was simple? "I will go," she said. After many days of travel, they reached the place near where Abraham had camped. Rebekah noticed a man walking alone through the fields. He must have been quite a man, because she immediately dismounted from her camel and asked Eliezer who the man was. Upon hearing it was Isaac, she wrapped her veil around her, covering her face. To make a long story short, Isaac fell in love with her, and they were soon married. Eliezer's mission was accomplished!

There is a lot that you can learn from Eliezer and his mission, and I will refer to it again later in this chapter. You can see that his simple prayer at the well was not a last-minute, spur-of-the-moment prayer. There was a whole process leading up to it.

Asking

Ask, and it will be given to you. Seek, and you will find? Knock, and it will be opened to you.

— Matthew 7:7 (WEB)

I am sure you have heard those words from the Sermon on the Mount at one time or another. Maybe you've tried asking yet didn't receive what you were asking for. So you gave up or decided it doesn't work. Perhaps you did not ask in the right way. Or maybe what you were asking for was not really the thing you wanted.

In another lesson, Jesus said, "Therefore I tell you, all things whatever you pray and ask for, believe that you receive them, and you shall have them" (Mark 11:24 WEB)?

So what exactly does it mean to pray? Is it simply presenting a wish list to God and the universe? Is it like a letter to some divine Santa Claus? Let us talk about what it means to truly ask for something you want or need in prayer.

Asking to Receive

How do we go about asking? What is the way to ask? St? James wrote:

You lust, and don't have. You kill, covet, and can't obtain. You fight and make war. Yet you don't have, because you don't ask. You ask, and don't receive, because you ask amiss, so that you may spend it for your pleasures. (James 4:2–3 WEB)

The King James Version is even stronger: "Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts (selfish desires)" (James 4:3 KJV)?

So what's wrong with pleasure? Nothing. What's wrong with having a new sports car, a Hollywood mansion, or a vacation in Italy? Nothing!

"So, Father, I'm told to ask and I will receive. Then I'm told that I'm not getting what I asked for because my motives are wrong. So how do I get that 'receive' part?"

Good question! First, let me ask you something. What is it you truly want in life? What is it that really gives meaning and purpose to your life? Is it more money, a bigger house, a new car, or a better job?

Think for a minute: those are all things that can be taken away from you. Jesus said, "Beware! Keep yourselves from covetousness, for a man's life doesn't consist of the abundance of the things which he possesses" (Luke 12:15 WEB). In other words, real life isn't made up of things.

Things will not give you the life you truly desire. A cousin and I used to imagine what kind of mansion we would like the family to have. Her mother would listen for a while and then say, "It sounds wonderful! Which of you is going to clean it?" Bummer! What would be the result if you received all the things you asked for?

Find Your End Goals

Let's go back to Eliezer for a minute? Eliezer had an immediate, clear goal: to find the right wife for Isaac. When we read the whole story, however, we see that Eliezer had a larger vision, that of a future for Abraham's family and clan that would bless the world. He is the first to use the covenant words hesed (unfailing love, grace) and emet (truth, faithfulness) together. These words would resonate throughout the Hebrew scriptures and into the New Testament. Eliezer knew he was part of something bigger, a divine plan.

Now let's go behind the things you say you want and to determine what you really want. What do you think those things will give you? Is it more freedom? A better life for your family? More opportunities to do the things you enjoy? Perhaps what you really want deep inside is security, stability, recognition, and a chance to fulfill your unique purpose and destiny in life.

What does a better life for you and your family mean? More things? Or does a better life for your family mean more love, more joy, and having the resources for more individual growth and development for each member? If so, you are beginning to discover what you really want. We are talking about something called end goals versus means goals. What seemed like an end goal — finding a wife for Isaac — was really a means goal in the larger scheme of things.

When we ask for things, why do we want them? Is there a greater purpose for our lives behind them or are they simply meant to be consumed, used up, and gotten tired of? Do we ask for more things because what we received did not satisfy our real needs? The overwhelming desire for more things is an addiction that, like all addictions, eventually destroys the soul.

Jesus said, "I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly" (John 10:10 KJV). It is that full, abundant, and purposeful life that all of us deep down inside really want. And yes, that includes the enjoyment of things.

One of the most quoted, and least understood sayings, is the first beatitude (blessing) in the Sermon on the Mount: "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven" (Matthew 5:3 KJV).

Let us be clear: real poverty is a curse. It was so in the scriptures, and it is so today. It is not the poor who are blessed (although Jesus taught them how to prosper); it is the "poor in spirit."

Scripture says God has given you "richly all things to enjoy" (1 Timothy 6:17 KJV). Not to possess, for in becoming attached to them, they will begin to possess you. Have you ever met people who were afraid to go on vacation because a thief might break in and steal their possessions while they were gone? These people do not own their things? Their things own them!

To be poor is to lack that which is needed for life and growth. A man who is poor in spirit may enjoy vast wealth, but he will walk away from it with joy in his heart to begin a new adventure in life. His spirit is not connected to physical possessions. Because his life is not tied to things, they do not control him? He has no soul attachments to the things he possesses? He is "poor in spirit." To that man is given the kingdom of heaven — all the riches of the universe! The less emotionally tied to things we are, the more we are open to receive.

"The love of money is the root of all evil" is another misused quote. Money in itself is not evil. It is a tool, a means to an end? It is only evil when it becomes the end in itself. How many lives are ruined and in how many is the light of the spirit quenched by greed?

What then should we ask for? We can certainly ask for that which we need right now to survive and grow. "Give us this day our daily bread" (Matthew 6:11 KJV) is part of the Lord's Prayer. This should not be our primary focus however. Remember: Jesus also said, "Do not be anxious, saying, 'What will we eat?' or 'What will we drink?' or 'With what will we be clothed?' ... Your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things" (Matthew 6:31, 32 WEB)?

We can also ask for that which adds real value and enjoyment to life, and that helps us fulfill our unique being and purpose. The universe is filled with God's abundance and is conspiring to support our highest good. (Read up on the anthropic principle in science if you aren't sure about this.) There is plenty of everything you could ever need or want.

Before we get into the specifics of the way of asking, let me tell you a story. I call it "The Chicken and the Eagle," and it serves to remind me whenever I get bogged down in the business of making a living that there is more to life, and that I am created for something far greater than what I do and what I am at this point in time.

The Chicken and the Eagle

Which would you rather be, a chicken or an eagle?

A chicken has a rather dreary but safe life (at least until Sunday rolls around). It pecks at the ground all day looking for bugs. In fact, it becomes an expert on bugs. "That's a good one! That one with a lot of legs could be dangerous; I better be careful. Yum, there's a tasty morsel!" What does a chicken ask for? Bugs, more bugs, better bugs. It says, "Please, Lord, let me lay enough eggs so they won't eat me for Sunday dinner!" (Let me work hard enough so they won't fire me!)

The eagle, on the other hand, flies through the sky. His far-seeing eye takes in lands, peoples, rivers, mountains, and opportunities. The eagle dips into the world to take what he wants, and then he soars to new heights. When the storms come, the chicken runs for the henhouse. The eagle rises above the clouds to where the sun is shining? The eagle's world is always full of light!

Believe it or not, you were created to be that eagle! Somewhere inside you is an unfulfilled dream, a vision of how life should be, a destiny waiting to be discovered, something that mere things can never satisfy. There is something unique that only you can do that will lift you to new heights and bless all those around you.

Begin a Process of Growth: The Way of Asking

God said something wonderful to the prophet Jeremiah:

"Before I formed you in the belly I knew you, and before you came forth out of the womb I sanctified you; I have appointed you" (Jeremiah 1:5 WEB).

Each one of us is born with a God-given destiny, something unique inside us that only we can be and do, something that will give joy and love to others and will make us glad to be alive every day and every moment. It is woven into the fabric of the universe; it vibrates with the intensity of divine power and love. And it's inside of you! All you have to do is find it. Make that your first end goal. Things will begin to fall into place when you realize your purpose in life. If you aren't sure what it is, help in finding it is the first thing you should ask for.

Also, don't just ask for things, ask for ways — ways to discover, ways to find, doors to knock on, and ways to achieve your end goals. Seek the way. And always make your request something positive, never negative. Don't say, "Oh, Lord, get me out of this terrible job?" Say, "Show me the way to a better job — one that brings me closer to the dream or destiny I feel inside of me. Show me the doors to knock on."

How to Ask

First, always ask in gratitude for that which you have and gratitude for all that you want to receive. Gratitude opens the heart and mind to receive from the realm of the spirit.

Stop and make a list (write it down) of everything, everyone, and every experience in life for which you are truly grateful. Take some time to do it. Then begin to express your gratitude. Start your day by being grateful for every blessing in your life, large or small. Gratitude is the seed from which your future blessings will grow.

Gratitude does two things. First, keeping a list of things you are thankful for and adding to it every day will help you understand your purpose and show you what you really want in your life. That which has had great meaning and value in your past will point the way to what you want for your future.

Also, by digging into your memory and your emotions to find everything and everyone for which you are grateful, you are tapping into your subconscious mind and aligning it with your conscious desires. Remember the good things and feel again the positive emotions. Dwell on them. What was good then will be even better now. Let your subconscious mind know that you want more of those good things and good experiences. It will know what to do to attract them to you.

Second, ask in humility. You don't have to demand that God or the universe give you anything? Besides, it doesn't work that way! God wants to give you all the desires of your heart when you are in tune with your divine destiny. No force is required. Commanding is something different and relates to the words we speak. (See the chapter 5, "The Way of Speaking.")

Moses and What it Means to be Humble

Moses was the meekest (most humble) man of his time and place according to the Bible, yet he led a million slaves to their freedom and delivered one of the greatest codes of morality — the Ten Commandments — the world has ever known.

Moses could have remained a prince of Egypt, maybe even have become a pharaoh, but he followed his divine mission instead. Imagine what might have happened if he had ignored his destiny:

We are walking through the antiquities museum in Cairo, Egypt. The guide is pointing out the many splendors found in the tombs of ancient kings. We walk past an open coffin with a mummy inside. The guide ignores it, wanting to move on to more important things.