A long time observer of the human condition, Curtis combines a wry wit with some unexpected opinions, penetrating insights and intensely personal reflections. This book covers a wide range of topics from the mundane to the metaphysical, spun with a sense of humour and wonder. This read has some delightful surprises that will leave you thinking and laughing. You never know what to expect. "For a 'regular guy' the author puts forth some very deep observations and opinions on how to achieve 'extraordinary happiness' in your life. While you may not agree with all of his arguments, you will nevertheless find yourself contemplating some of your own personal convictions" - Walter T. Leps, Ph.D. President, WAI BioProcess Solutions "I know Mike to be a happy guy who is getting happier with age. He has figured some things out that are worth considering to build a happier life for yourself in mind, body, spirit and heart. Mike will help you get closer faster and easier if you experiment with his advice" - Gaye Hanson, Blue Flowing Water Woman

Try It This Way ...

- An ordinary guy's guide to extraordinary happinessBy J. Michael Curtis

AuthorHouse

Copyright © 2012 J. Michael Curtis
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4772-5389-2

Chapter One

Driving and Car Maintenance

Go ahead and accuse me of simplistic thinking if you like, but I think I can tell something about a person by the way they take care of their vehicle and the way they behave behind the wheel. Of course what I think doesn't matter. What matters is what's going on for you. Having said that, I suspect that how you care for your motor vehicle and how you drive might provide some clues to your inner state.

We spend a lot of time in our vehicles. Don't ruin that time by being angry at other drivers or impatient with traffic and red lights. Try to remember that the people in all those other cars and trucks are not there just to irritate you and obstruct your way. Actually, they're trying to get somewhere else just like you are. They breathe air and bleed red just like you do.

A guy I know had an epiphany experience on this topic. He used to be an uptight, angry driver and hated his commute. One day it hit him "... those other drivers are just like me. They're just trying to get where they're going. They don't mean me any harm. In fact, we're connected ..." Since that epiphany, he's been a changed man in traffic ... and in life.

I had a similar but less dramatic experience and it's changed me too. I recall years ago that a light would go red in front of me, my stomach would tighten, as would my grip on the wheel and I would fume until I would start again. Sometimes I would look at older drivers who seemed to be completely calm and at peace, patiently waiting for the light to change back to green. I would wonder to myself, "I wonder whether I will ever be that way when I'm older, retired, and with lots of time on my hands."

Now I can answer "yes", because that is precisely how it is for me now. Part of it is simply being "... older, retired, and with lots of time on my hands." Part of it was training for my Class 4 license, which I needed to drive passengers for pay, as I do now as a shuttle driver in one of my current part-time occupations. When I contemplated earning my Class 4 license, I realized that I may have established some bad habits since 1965, when I got my driver's license.

So I enrolled with a driving school and told the teacher I wanted to train for a Class 4 license. What an experience that was, taking driver training again after 45 years. It changed the way I drive. Believe it or not, now I actually obey traffic signs, the rules of the road, and speed limits. I guess now I drive like an old guy (only more alert), and I don't think that's a bad thing. My priority has changed from getting there fast to getting there safely – and without a ticket. Now I get there almost as fast, and I'm no longer a resentful, uptight, nervous wreck behind the wheel. It's much better this way.

Let's switch from the philosophy of driving attitudes to some practical rules on maintenance. We need to be able to rely on our vehicles. Treat them carefully and respectfully. Remember how thrilled you were with your first car when you bought it?

Change your oil every 5,000 km

Changing your oil regularly is the simplest and most effective thing you can do to maintain the long term health of your engine. So be religious about your oil changes. The easiest way to remember when your car is due for a change is to get your next change on a 5,000 km point. Then from there it will be easy to remember the next change due. So if your baby has 82,426 km, change the oil when you get to the 85,000 km point. Next change will be 90,000 km and so forth.

Prefer a garage to a drive-through oil change. You will likely need to make an appointment, but so what? Do it. If you take your car or truck to a garage rather than a drive-through, the staff will eventually get to know you and your car. I believe that if they know you and know your car, they will be much more likely to act in your best interest. The guys that work in the drive-through places will remain strangers and will almost always try to up-sell you on something you may not need.

Most shops offer some sort of "21 point inspection" along with your oil change. That's a good way for you to find out if something else needs attention. If your car is getting an oil change at a garage and something else does need attention, you'll be in the right place to get it done. At a drive-through, you have guys that know how to change oil quickly. At a garage you have mechanics, who know how to take care of whatever your car needs.

Develop a business relationship with your service advisor

If you get your oil changes done at a garage, find one you like and go to the same garage for all your service needs. That way you will develop a business relationship with your service writer. Once you find a garage and service writer that you trust, treat him like you trust him. Very likely, he will act in accordance with that trust.

I've been doing this for years and it has worked well for me. I go to the same garage every time. I call the service manager by name and make sure I remind him of my name when I book the appointment. Before long, he knows me and my vehicles and we trust each other.

Early on in the relationship, sometimes I put them to the test a little. For example, I may be quite sure that my brakes are working fine and don't need any rotor or disk work. But when I book an oil change, I ask them to check the brakes at the same time. After the oil change is done, when I get a report that the brakes are fine with a recommendation we check them again in 6 months, I check off a little box mentally. That's the beginning of trust.

If you relocate or the shop changes ownership, you'll need to start over again. It's still worth it. Be a good customer. That means you don't question their assessments and you don't groan and complain about something on your bill costing $10 more than you thought it would. A good business relationship is a two-way street. You want good service? Try being a good customer. The next time your car won't start and is towed into their shop without an appointment, they might fix it up for you the same day.

Of course the above rules pertain to off-warranty work. If your vehicle is new, you'll need to get your servicing done at the dealership where you bought the car or another dealership that sells the same brand. When that's the case, you shouldn't have much to worry about anyway. If your vehicle is new, it shouldn't need much in the way of expensive repairs. If it does, your warranty will pay for it.

Keep your tank half full – drive on the top half of your tank

Driving with your tank at least half full provides the advantage of reducing the amount of dirt and crud in your engine. In cold winter weather, you have a greatly reduced likelihood of experiencing the heartbreak of your car's not starting because its gas line is frozen. Should you get stopped or stuck on a cold winter's night, you don't want your tank at 1/8, because you'll need to run the engine to stay warm and avoid freezing to death. Perhaps most importantly, you will have the psychological comfort that comes from knowing that your tank is at least half full. You have a reasonable driving range and you won't run out of gas.

And, if you happen to tend toward being a redneck, the value of your pickup truck increases when you fill 'er up.

Buying gasoline

This topic is interesting to many people. Like a lot of people, sometimes I feel like I'm being hosed at the gas pump. It seems to me the gasoline sellers raise their prices when they feel like it, out of all reference to external forces like the price of a barrel of crude, and coincidentally in time for long weekends when a lot of us like to travel. In 2007 when a barrel of oil was about $150, gas sold for around $1.20/litre. Now a barrel of oil is around $100 yet gas still sells for $1.10. The price of a barrel of crude has dropped by 33% while the price of gasoline has dropped 8%. So clearly the price of crude is not the only determining factor in the price of gas.

If only one supplier raised his prices while the others stood pat, I might believe that it's all a free market, like they claim. But when Esso, Petro Canada, Shell, Husky and all the off-brand sellers all raise their prices on the same day by the same amount, so that every supplier has the same price all the time, I kind of wonder if some sort of collusion isn't at play. Hmmm ... think so?

And have you noticed that when prices go up, they shoot up by 9 or 10 cents a litre? They stay steady for a few days or weeks, then begin to inch back down again a penny or two at a time. That pattern seems to repeat itself over and over. That factor also makes me suspect some monkey business. Around here at least, Wednesday or Thursday are the days when prices shoot up. Why not a Monday or Tuesday? Nope – got to be Wednesday or Thursday. What a racket.

Here's what I recommend, gentle reader. Keep your eye on the price of gas in your area and see if you can discern a pattern. When prices edge down, keep your tank full. When prices shoot up by 9 or 10 cents a litre, you'll have a full tank. Don't be in a hurry to fill up when prices are high, unless it's -20 deg C or colder. Chances are you may not need to buy again until prices start to drop.

I get a charge out of buying gas when prices are down. That may seem petty to you. If it does, ignore my recommendation. But I respond the way I do because I feel manipulated by the gas companies. When I buy low, I feel I'm maintaining some small shred of control. Pathetic.

In Part II in my chapter on Finances, I'm going to encourage you to distribute your money lovingly. What I'm saying here may seem to contradict that position. Not really. The corollary to distributing your money lovingly is not to give it to someone you don't want to animate with it. We all have to buy gasoline. We can buy less by driving conservatively in good vehicles that consume less gasoline. But in our culture, most of us have to buy gasoline. Watching the prices, discerning the pattern, and buying low whenever you can is the closest you can get to not animating the price-manipulating gasoline suppliers any more than you have to.

When things are broken or worn out, fix or replace them

If your windshield is cracked, replace it. Don't drive around with a cracked windshield. It's a safety hazard and it's bad for your self-esteem. When someone else gets into your car, they're going to think you don't value your personal environment enough to replace your cracked windshield. But more important than what someone else thinks is what do you think? What, a cracked windshield isn't worth replacing? You just look through a cracked windshield every day when you drive? Value yourself and value your driving environment. You wouldn't walk around with torn clothes. Don't drive around with a cracked windshield.

Similarly, if your wipers wear out, replace them. The garage where you get your oil changed will change the blades for you while they're doing the oil change. Where we live, with snow in the winter and rain in the summer, we need windshield wipers that are in perfect condition. Otherwise you get those irritating patterns on your windshield where the wipers don't contact properly.

Cheap wipers are around $20. The best ones are around $50. I suggest you buy the best ones. They're Teflon coated, work better, and last longer. If you can't bring yourself to spend $50 on a wiper blade then replace the $20 ones annually when you have your fall oil change.

When your tires are worn out, replace them. I don't need to spend much time on this topic because the value is clear and obvious. Worn tires are a safety hazard. Your car is much easier and responsive to drive when the tires are in good shape and properly inflated. All tires have a mileage rating. For example, when you buy them, the manufacturer will recommend that they're good for 80,000 km or something of that sort. Your odometer reading will be on the bill when you buy a new set of tires. Keeping track of the mileage on your tires just isn't that difficult. Also, you or your garage will be able to tell just by visual inspection when it's time for new tires.

I knew a guy who thought he couldn't afford new tires so he thought he'd wait until fall rather than buying them on sale in the spring. During summer, of course, he had a flat and had to wait two hours for a tow truck. Since he didn't have an AMA membership (too expensive) he was out two hours and had to pay for a tow and four tires at regular price. That was not a happy outcome for him.

And when your vehicle's body becomes dented or scratched, bite the bullet and get that damage fixed also.

I shake my head at folks who wait until they decide to sell their vehicle to have necessary little things like a broken windshield and worn wipers replaced. They pay the same price that they would have paid had they done the jobs when they needed to be done. They enjoy none of the benefits; those accrue to the new buyer. Something is wrong with that picture. Value yourself enough to take care of routine maintenance so you can reap the benefits yourself, rather than the person you sell to. Keep your vehicle in top shape. You're worth it.

But the cracked windshield, worn wiper blades and tires are just examples. I've mentioned wiper blades and windshields. These are examples of components that irritate you when they aren't right. But more seriously, your vehicle has key components that affect your safety on the road. This category of components included brakes, tires, and steering. I suggest you don't cut corners on you key components. The point here is that I am recommending the value of preventative maintenance. Not investing in keeping your vehicle in top operating condition is a false economy. If something's going to go, it's going to go anyway. It's going to cost you either way and it will likely cost more if you ignore a problem and something bad happens. You don't want a preventable failure causing an accident or emergency.

I remember an old TV ad where the mechanic looks into the camera and says, "You can pay me now ... or you can pay me later." His meaning is clear. Keep your vehicle in top mechanical condition. You spend a lot of time in it. You want it to be safe and easy to operate. And preventative maintenance is economical when compared to the cost of repairs.

Take care of your vehicle. Its condition and appearance are a reflection of yourself. I have a 14 year-old Nissan Pathfinder. People often tell me that it looks like new. And it's true. It runs like new too. But that's not an accident and it's not luck. It's a direct result of how I have cared for it, with time, effort, and some money. The older it gets, the fonder of it I become. I like to think that the Pathfinder is like me – an oldie but a goody.

Stay calm and be a good driver

When another driver cuts you off or won't let you in when you want to change lanes, don't take it personally. This is the time to detach and keep your ego in check. I used to tell my sons when they were teens about mastering their inner selves, "don't let other people control your emotional state." Well, if I may say so, that's good advice for teens in school and pretty much for anyone any time. But it sure applies to all of us when we're driving.

You can't control how other people drive, but you can control how you respond. If you don't like the way another driver is driving, just let him in and bless him on his way. Suspend your judgement and concentrate on your own driving.

Don't follow too close. If you leave one extra car length's space in front of your vehicle, you'll arrive at your destination about one second later. Of course, if you leave extra space in front of you in traffic, you can expect that another driver will cut in front of you. That's like leaves falling in autumn; count on it. When this happens, resist the temptation to speed up to prevent the bozo from cutting in front of you. Just let him/her in and then calmly restore the space you prefer between your vehicle and theirs. Chances are, you'll catch up to him at the next red light. And when you stop at a light, you should be able to see the tires on the vehicle in front of you touch the road. If you can't, you're too close.

When we lived in Montreal in the mid-80s, drivers there had a slightly different understanding from the rest of Canada about the meaning of the color of stop-lights. They used to say, "green means go, red means proceed with caution, and yellow means go like hell." Driving in that environment was exciting and great for developing skills. I can boast that, strange as it may seem, I was never in a traffic accident in Quebec, and I drove a lot.

(Continues...)

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