Through the Valley of the Deep Darkness

Trafford Publishing

Chapter One

On the Edge of the Darkness

That Sunday, October 10, 1999, dawned like most ordinary Sundays. I must confess that it was my habit to rise early Sunday mornings, hours before I needed to rise. It was my practice to go through my morning routine without any haste, deliberately, as if time was a luxury to be enjoyed. On Sunday mornings I never wanted to hurry. As I showered, shaved, and dressed, I would rehearse in my mind the day's preaching. Having dressed, I would read through the service, reread the scriptures, think through prayers and envision persons who would need prayers, and reread my preaching manuscript. Then I would prepare the elements of our breakfast, prepare the breakfast table, and then awaken Marian, if she was not awake. Ordinary. No questions. Routine. To be sure. Most Sundays I followed this pattern. I repeat, I followed this pattern because I did not like to be hurried on Sunday mornings.

And that October Sunday was no different. I followed my routine, deliberately, as usual. There was one exception that day: that afternoon we were to attend the birthday party of our grandson, Zackary, whose first birthday had been that Thursday. Our daughter Elise informed us it would be a simple affair. She told us several close friends from St. John's had been invited as well as few of her and Michael's Stuarts Draft friends. (Michael Ledford was Elise's husband.) We were told also to provide the birthday cake.

There were specific instructions for the cake. It was to be decorated with Winnie-the-Pooh characters. Marian had ordered the cake at the Staunton Wal-Mart. The cake was to be ready by 1:30 p.m. Sunday.

That Sunday morning, I struggled to concentrate on my worship responsibilities and tried not to allow thoughts of Zackary's birthday party, nor any of many other alien thoughts, to affect my preparation for worship.

Marian, on the other hand, was troubled. I knew she was troubled. Her movements, her body language, her speech left no doubt she was troubled. From the moment Marian arose that October Sunday morning, I sensed, I knew, as one knows another person after forty years of marriage, Marian was tense, even angry. She did not need to say a word. The look in her eyes, her movements as she dressed, her body language radiated that tenseness. For some months Marian had been troubled by Elise and Michael's relationship. Michael's attitude and actions disturbed and angered Marian. Yes, that October Sunday, Marian's anger boiled, all but boiled over.

I'll share the reasons for Marian's anger and mine. At that time, Michael was employed part-time by the Stuarts Draft Food Lion. Elise was employed full-time at White Birch Estates as a direct care aide. In fact, that Sunday Elise had worked from 6:00 a.m. until noon and was scheduled to be at White Birch again on Monday at 6:00 a.m.

Although Michael's schedule was such that he could have provided care for Zackary, he did not. Often upon Elise's return from White Birch Estates, she would find Zackary in unchanged, messed diapers, unchanged for hours. Therefore, although Michael and Elise could ill afford the cost, Zackary was now in Stuarts Draft Day Care Program.

We were further disturbed because Michael did not want full-time employment. He wanted free time to frequent the Stuarts Draft Rescue and Fire Station. Michael considered himself a firefighter. (At one point there were ads for paid firefighters. Michael filled out the applications, but they were rejected, or he never submitted them. He expressed this thought: "If I were paid to fight fires, it wouldn't be fun anymore.") We learned later Food Lion managers thought that Michael had another full-time job, so they never offered him full-time employment.

Marian was troubled also by Michael's employment history. Upon Michael's arrival in Stuarts Draft, sometime in the fall of 1997, after some searching and Marian's pushing him to search for a job, he was employed by RadioShack at the Staunton Mall. (Before moving in with us to find employment in the area, Michael had been employed by the Lewisburg, Pennsylvania, RadioShack. Michael lived with us while Elise completed her schooling at Pennsylvania College of Technology, Williamsport, Pennsylvania. Michael proposed marriage officially on Christmas Eve that year, and they were married in May 1998.) Michael showed us letters of high praise from the RadioShack management. (I came to suspect Michael wrote the letters himself.) In spite of those letters, a month or two later Michael was released. Michael stated that he had sold a computer system and earned a substantial commission for that sale. However, the customer was not satisfied with the system and returned it. Thus Michael had to forfeit his commission. That commission was to be taken out of his weekly salary. However, when the customer returned the computer, another RadioShack employee's ID number was entered into the store computer, and thus the repayment sum was taken out of that employee's salary. Michael had entered that ID number into the RadioShack computer system. Michael swore again and again that he did not know that employee's ID number and could not have entered it intentionally into the store's computer. The RadioShack management did not buy his statement. The result was that RadioShack terminated Michael and his immediate supervisor. RadioShack terminated that supervisor because the management believed he was a coconspirator in what Michael had done. The RadioShack management did not press charges either against Michael or his supervisor. Marian and I also had unanswered questions about Michael's account of the incident.

That was not the only incident Michael had had with RadioShack. Prior to Michael's departure from the Williamsport, Pennsylvania, RadioShack establishment, there had been a fire in the storage area of that business. Michael was not on duty when the fire began. It was not a major fire. It was reported that a small candle had been set in combustible material, which ignited when the candle burned down to it. Michael was never questioned by fire investigators. We learned sometime later that his mother refused to allow investigators to question him.

Michael had other troubled employment relationships. After his stint at RadioShack, Michael was employed by the Staunton Wal-Mart. He was fired. He related that he had punched out a fellow employee who, Michael claimed, made a homosexual pass at him. At that point Michael had Elise draw up an agreement for him to buy that Wal-Mart store. Michael claimed that he had worked for a stockbroker after he dropped out of high school and had some $3,000,000 in stock certificates in a safe. (He never did say where that safe was.) I saw that letter, with its plans and proposals for operating the store, a detailed salary grid, and other proposals. That proposal was never submitted to the local Wal-Mart management.

Later Michael found a job with Baugher Chevrolet-Buick, Waynesboro. He did not do well. He praised the dealership owner, who did not mind his salespeople sleeping on the job if they were firefighters. That said a lot. The week before Christmas, Michael was terminated. Elise was so angry that she wrote a nasty letter to the dealership owner. In that letter, Elise ranted that Mr. Baugher was insensitive and heartless for firing an employee the week before Christmas.

Marian was disturbed with Michael also for other reasons. From the time Michael and Elise were married, he insisted—no, he demanded—that she no longer use lipstick or other cosmetics, go to a beauty shop to have her hair done, or to do anything that would make her attractive in public.

Then we learned Michael was no longer wearing his wedding ring in public. He did not want the female members of the Stuarts Draft Rescue Squad to know that he was married. Michael's actions were anger producing, anger producing indeed. That October Sunday and afternoon, Marian was angry, more angry than words can describe.

The Stolen Credit Card Incident

To add fuel to the fire, there was the theft of one of our credit cards in August 1999. It was the second Saturday of the month. It happened this way: We anticipated a visit from Elise to use Marian's washer and dryer to do their laundry. At the appointed hour, Michael and Darlene arrived with the laundry. (More about Darlene later.) They explained that Elise was home in bed ill. Marian demonstrated to Darlene how to use the washer and dryer. We had plans to get some fresh farm products at the farmers' market at the Staunton Wharf. I told Michael and Darlene, "There are soft drinks and luncheon meats in the refrigerator. If you want, help yourselves. We should be home by noon." At that point in our relationship, we had no reason to mistrust either Michael or Darlene.

Marian and I returned from our jaunt to the wharf before noon. Darlene and Michael were gone. The laundry was gone. Everything seemed to be in order. Marian phoned Elise, who told her mother she had had a bad headache and a slight fever. We went about our routines as normal. Nothing more was thought of the incident.

Then about the first of September, I received a letter from a credit card company, which read in part, "We regret that you could not use the ATM machine, but you used the wrong PIN." I was puzzled. First, I did not recognize the credit card, and second, I rarely use ATM machines. I checked my credit cards. I had a card case that holds cards seldom used except for special purchases. That case was kept on our dresser in our bedroom. (Not a smart move!)The card listed in the credit card company letter was not among my cards. I considered that the credit company had made a mistake.

However, before I contacted the credit card company, I next checked my receipt file, and there were statements listing that card and number. I had used that card only for expenses related to the settlement of my mother's estate. I had last used it in May 1999. I wasted no time contacting the credit card company. I learned that someone, not only attempted to use that card in an ATM machine in Stuarts Draft, but that same person or persons had used it at the Exxon service station in Stuarts Draft on three different occasions. That service station has automatic fuel pumps so that the purchaser does not need to enter the station to pay for purchases. Also, the credit card had been used to purchase more than several hundred dollars in rescue-and-firefighting-related gear from a company in Kentucky.

The card had been used three times at that Kentucky establishment. Upon learning the credit card company report of the use of our missing credit card, I had strong reason to suspect either Michael or Darlene had taken that card. On that Saturday in August, either Michael or Darlene or both of them had ventured into our bedroom, inappropriately searching through our belongings. We were hurt, our trust had been violated, and we were outraged; not only had our living space been violated, but our relationship had been abused.

I explained my suspicions to the credit card representative but did not wish to press charges on the basis of suspicion without solid evidence. That credit card was canceled immediately. The card company removed the charges from my statement, simply refusing to pay the companies where purchases had been made. Fortunately the statements had not been issued, and we were not held accountable for the false sales.

Later I phoned Elise to ask, "Did Michael make any recent purchases from Galls?" That's the name of that Kentucky equipment company.

She replied, "He had ordered several shirts. Why?" I explained that our credit card had been used for purchases. Elise stated, "Michael has a Galls card."

In the background I heard Michael say, "Wasn't it strange that there was but one number different between the two cards!" It was an "aha!" moment.

To top it off, we came to learn Michael paraded around the Stuarts Draft Rescue Squad Station with an expensive pair of boots. He made certain that other rescue personnel present noticed them. He was reported to have said, "They came from Galls—that fire gear outfitter in Kentucky. They sent them to me by mistake, but they are a perfect fit. Galls told me to keep them since it was their mistake. Aren't they great?"

This credit card theft episode only added to our tenseness with Michael on that October afternoon. We took the burden of that tenseness with us to Zackary's birthday party.

All of these, this suspicion, this building anger, this concern for the physical and emotional health of Elise, this feeling of rejection, the feeling of being violated by one we trusted, all these were in us. All of these were pushing us nearer and nearer to the edge of the deep darkness, the edge of the deep.

The Darlene K. Affair

Darlene K. had been Elise's matron of honor. After Elise and Michael's wedding at New Covenant United Church of Christ, Williamsport, Pennsylvania, where Elise worshiped while attending the Pennsylvania School of Technology, Elise and Darlene continued to correspond. I do not know much about Darlene. I do know that she had two children, ages unknown to me. There was no husband in the equation. I do not know if they were merely separated or divorced. I think that Darlene left her husband. Darlene's children were taken from her by the Department of Children Services and placed with a relative. Darlene was having difficulties with the authorities as well as financial woes.

When Elise learned of Darlene's problems, she had compassion for her friend. Elsie persuaded Michael to make the trip to Williamsport and bring Darlene to Virginia. Darlene shared Michael and Elise's Highland Hills apartment at Stuarts Draft. At times Darlene provided baby-sitting services for Zackary.

It became clear to me that if Darlene had not taken our credit card that August Saturday, she was aware Michael had taken a card from our bedroom, or she was involved in the taking of that card. On two occasions that card was used to provide fuel for her car. Marian and I had questions about the relationship of Elise and Darlene, questions about Michael and Darlene, suspicions about a possible sexual threesome—Michael, Elise, and Darlene. We never asked Elise about those relationships. Perhaps we did not want to learn what those relationships might have been, but our questions about those relationships only brought us closer to the brink of the deep.

On the Brink

There were certain other episodes in our relationship with Michael, minor episodes perhaps, but those episodes added to the growing darkness between us and Michael, a deepening mistrust. On one occasion, after one of Zackary's pediatric checkups, the pediatric doctor suggested that Zackary would benefit from a vitamin regimen. Elise lamented that she did not have funds to purchase vitamins. Marian, having been a pediatric nurse, picked out one vitamin brand that she considered good for the boy. When Michael discovered the vial of vitamins, he threw them in the garbage. He raged. "When I was a child I never had vitamins, and no child of mine will take them." End of discussion. (When Michael made statements, there was never any argument. Michael was always right. Everyone else was wrong.)

On another occasion, as Zackary was beginning to walk, to toddle, Marian and Elise were shopping. A pair of child's sneakers attracted Marian's eye, and she bought them for Zackary. Again, when Elise arrived home with Zackary in his sneakers, Michael tore them off and threw them across the room. Again he raged. "I never had such sneakers, and no child of mine will have them." There was no further argument. As I said, once Michael made a statement, there was no argument. What Michael said was always right. There was only one side to any issue, Michael's side.

Then there was the revelation of Michael's first marriage. (If there ever was such a marriage!) Elise told us the story sometime between Thanksgiving and Christmas of 1998. The revelation took place in this way: Michael had gone to Muncy, Pennsylvania, to spend a Thanksgiving weekend with his parents. Early in that visit, Michael reported that he was contacted by his former wife. (He gave no name.) According to his story, the marriage had been annulled. (That Michael had had an annulled marriage was neither revealed in the premarital counseling done at New Covenant Church, nor did it appear on Michael and Elise's marriage license.)

Michael continued, Elise reported, "My former wife contacted me to inform me she had been involved in a serious auto accident at the main intersection of Williamsport, Pennsylvania. She wasn't hurt but our six-year-old daughter was injured critically and was on life-support equipment in the children's wing of Geisinger Medical Center, Danville, Pennsylvania. She wanted me to help her make the decision to take the child off life support. (Again, he never referred to the child by name.) I went with her to Geisinger, and we took the child off life support. The child died shortly after the ventilator was removed." Elise added, "As Michael continued his story, he began to sob almost uncontrollably. Tears rolled down his cheeks. Nothing I said or tried to do would console him!" (Continues...)

Excerpted from Through the Valley of the Deep Darknessby Thomas Arner Copyright © 2012 by Thomas Arner. Excerpted by permission of Trafford Publishing. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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