Don't Top From the Bottom: And Other Rules Nobody Taught You About Submission

The Book Every Submissive Needs to Read — and Every Dominant Wishes They Already Had

A dominatrix, CEO, and fetish model tells submissives everything they're doing wrong — and everything the good ones taught her.

Gabriella started dominating in a basement dungeon in Madrid at nineteen. The lighting was bad, the heating was criminal, and the clients taught her more about human psychology than any university lecture ever did. Now she runs an adult game development studio, models in latex, and has zero patience for submissives who think "I showed up" is the same as "I submitted."

Don't Top From the Bottom is the book she's been wanting to write since a client handed her a literal printed script — with her dialogue written out — and she tore it up.

This is not a how-to guide. This is not a manual for kneeling or protocol. This is Gabriella sitting across from you and telling you everything she wishes every submissive who ever walked into her dungeon already knew. Some of it will piss you off. Good. That means you're paying attention.

What's Inside

Part One: What You Think You Know
Why most submissives are passive, not submissive. The cardinal sin of topping from the bottom — what it is, why people do it, and the damage it does to dominants that nobody talks about. And the entitlement epidemic in the kink community.

Part Two: The Architecture of Surrender
Trust built in stages, not declared in a DM. Limits as blueprints, not obstacles. The ego death that real submission requires. And communication that goes deeper than just talking.

Part Three: The People in the Room
Your dominant is a person, not a fantasy. The difference between a scene and a relationship. Service submission as a language of devotion. And the kink community — imperfect, messy, and the best safety net we have.

Part Four: The Long Game
Submission as one part of your identity, not the whole thing. Online dynamics and the digital dungeon. What to do when it goes wrong — including the line between dominance and abuse. And the quiet, invisible submission that holds real dynamics together.

What Makes This Book Different

This isn't written by a therapist or an academic. It's written by a woman who has been on the other side of the dynamic for over a decade — as a professional dominatrix, a personal dominant, and someone who has seen submission done so badly it made her want to quit, and so beautifully it reminded her why she does this.

Gabriella writes the way she talks — direct, darkly funny, profane when the moment calls for it, and honest in ways that most kink books avoid. She draws on her early years in Madrid, her work as CEO of Dark Tether Games, her career as a fetish model, and conversations with friends across the kink community.

Includes verified quotes from respected voices in BDSM — Midori, Dossie Easton, Pat Califia, Mistress Matisse, Jay Wiseman, Mollena Williams-Haas, and more. Plus a comprehensive glossary.

This book is for:

• Submissives who want the unvarnished truth about what submission actually requires
• Dominants who are tired of explaining the same things
• Switches exploring the submissive side
• Curious readers who want to understand BDSM beyond the stereotypes
• Anyone who has ever been told "you're not really submissive" and wants to know what real submission looks like

Content note: Contains frank discussions of BDSM, power exchange, professional domination, and sexuality. Chapter 14 addresses abuse within kink dynamics. For adult readers only.

"I don't hate submissives. I respect the hell out of the good ones. That is exactly why I have no patience for the bad ones." — Gabriella