CHAPTER 1
Entertain the Possibility
For starters, open yourself to the possibility that you have as much time as you need; in fact, you have as much time as you want for everything you want to do. Entertain the idea that every thought you have is creating the reality you experience. You don't have to believe this at the moment, but try living as if you do, and the proof will be in what you experience.
What do I mean by living as if you believe your every thought creates your reality? Well, to understand this concept, you have to become aware. Become aware of what you are saying to yourself and the world in every moment. Can you remember what you were thinking before you began to read this? Can you remember what you were thinking about yourself when you looked in the mirror this morning while you brushed your teeth? What did you think about sitting behind the car in front of you at the red light? What did you say to yourself (or think) about your spouse, your children, a friend, a coworker, a woman walking down the street with very tight pants, your boss, etc.? Of course, if the woman in tight pants is your boss, that is for another book ... he he.
Seriously, though, if your thoughts tend toward being critical of yourself and others, you are setting yourself up to find more work. You have sentenced yourself to spend each moment in a less-than-relaxed and appreciative state, but a relaxed and appreciative state is where time expands. In addition, on a more practical level, if you are overcritical, you won't find anyone in your life who can do the jobs you don't want to do well enough. You also won't find time to enjoy yourself, because you have a list of corrections to make before you can love yourself.
Imagine if every thought instantly manifested in reality and you were thinking about how your computer could get a virus, how signs of old age are starting to appear on your face, how the guy in front of you is driving like a jerk and it would serve him right if he got into an accident. Imagine if all that came true, instantly, right before your eyes. I think we would all be more careful about what we were thinking if we saw right before our eyes the computer freeze up, more wrinkles and gray hair appear, and the guy in front of us get into an accident, resulting in our spending a few hours stopped in traffic.
It just so happens that this is how it works. It may not seem so sudden, but given the fact that you think between sixty thousand and eighty thousand thoughts a day, consciously, and that you are subconsciously feeding yourself an even greater amount of data and forming alliances with all kinds of groups and people who bleed into your data banks, it seems very complex. The fact is, however, that it is very simple. All of that thought is creating your every experience. If I am wrong, so what? But if I am right—and I am—then what are you creating with your incredibly powerful mind? Wouldn't you like to harness that power?
When you think about your computer freezing up, you also have many counter-thoughts about how your computer doesn't freeze up all the time. You have many more memories of when it works fairly well; these counteract that immediate conscious thought of disaster. That is a good thing—but just imagine if you could get all your conscious and unconscious thinking to align with what you want, and only what you want. That is the goal; it is also how successful people in any endeavor get where they want to go. No action in the world can counteract thoughts that are out of alignment with what you want.
Once you become aware of thoughts that work against you, you have the power to change those thoughts, statements, and beliefs to what you would like to live and experience. For example, thinking or saying, "I don't have enough time" would be changed to "I have plenty of time." I know, right now you are saying, "I thought she said this would be easy." Keep reading with that in mind, and I will make it easy for you.
In reference to the time issue, instead of saying, "I don't have time to do this or that," change the internal dialogue to "I choose not to spend my time doing this or that." This puts you in a position to take control of your life—instead of letting life drag you along a path you do not want. If you want to have plenty of time for everything, you have to stop telling yourself that you don't have time for things you want.
In a bigger sense, you have to stop telling the universe that you have no time. The universe, or little people, or whatever it is that makes this a force that works as systematically as gravity, grants your every wish. There is no judgment about whether it is good for you or not, just pure response. You may not believe it but, just for now, entertain the possibility and act as if it is so. Just for now, become aware of the messages you are giving the universe, or yourself, to carry out.
First and foremost, if you continue to say out loud and to yourself that you don't have enough time, you will continue to create that truth in your world. For example, if you continue to want to exercise but do not, stop using the excuse that you don't have time, and state clearly in your mind that you are choosing not to exercise. In reality, you know that you have time, but you have made other choices, such as sleeping or cooking dinner or cleaning or watching TV or talking on the phone—none of these are invalid choices or wrong choices. Just get clear that you have chosen not to exercise, and stop pretending that you don't have time.
You may have an uneasy feeling about this; I have just taken away your valid excuse for not exercising, and you are so comfortable with the excuse that you don't have enough time that you are unwilling to let that excuse go easily. It seems so real when you repeat it to yourself and others daily for years; it seems that it can't be a lie—but it is. It is a lie that seems to give you some room to breathe, but in actuality, it is cutting your life force away.
I am sure that there are moments when you are doing nothing during the day—moments when you could drop down and do twenty sit-ups. You choose otherwise because you would be embarrassed to do that at work or while waiting in line at the grocery store. You may even take the elevator when you could use the stairs. I am not making a judgment or even suggesting that you take the stairs, but I am trying to make it clear that, at every moment, you are making choices. In every moment, you are creating; if you continue to use the "I don't have enough time" excuse, you will continue to create not having enough time. Of course, that excuse will then start bleeding into all parts of your life. You will find, as you probably already do, that you don't have enough time.
In addition, when you stop proclaiming to the powers that be that you don't have enough time, and you still find that you are not doing something in your life like exercising, then you can evaluate the whole idea of exercise in your life. I use exercise as an example, but feel free to substitute anything. Is exercising what you really want to do? Or is it something you think you "should" do? The word "should" in your inner thoughts is a red flag for you to really give the issue some thought and get clear about what is important and real to you.
Maybe, instead of exercise, you want to dance, do yoga, do tai chi, or garden. Maybe you have no interest in exercise. That is okay as well. It is better to start with the truth and shape it for yourself than to let a self-fulfilling prophesy take over your entire life without your conscious consent. You will find that just living life with passion increases your energy expenditure and fitness level. You may not even have to formally exercise, but, as you get joyful, there will be a spring in every step you take—that is a lot of steps. Don't let well-meaning people or society take your power. Make your own choices in all things—including whether you exercise or choose not to exercise. You do not have to justify your choices to anyone, including and especially to yourself. If you are not doing it, then it is not for you at this moment, and there is nothing wrong with that. "Exercising" is not the only way to be thin, fit, and healthy.
Internal dialogues have an incredible power, as do external dialogues. We use them as if we are children with a loaded gun, without knowledge of its power or danger. We end up shooting ourselves in the foot, or worse, and then wonder what went wrong. It is the same with the thought of not having enough time. Change your thoughts so that you put yourself in the driver's seat. Even if you don't believe that you have enough time, continue to tell yourself that you do. In every instance that you begin by thinking or telling someone that you don't have enough time, catch yourself and rephrase it. Say to yourself or others that you have enough time and you have chosen to do something else or you have chosen to do nothing. If someone asks you to do a favor or get involved in an activity, give him or her the truth—or say nothing at all. Do not say that you don't have time. You don't have to explain yourself, and most will not question you. If you are questioned and care not to go into details, the response "for personal reasons" usually works well and sometimes causes an air of mystery—and mystery is always fun.
You will learn a lot about yourself when you realize that you have been choosing to not have enough time all along. Usually, there is some fear behind this choice, but take heart, as you can now learn to choose differently. Begin by acknowledging that you are making a choice in every instance; if you don't like the choice, follow the gunpowder trail. You have chosen because of some misguided belief, out of guilt or fear, or you have given your power away to another person or group of people: your family, your spouse, your boss, your church, your society, or your bowling league. Sometimes it is as simple as seeing this consciously. Other times, even though you may see a fear of loss, fear of change, or fear of success as the culprit, it may seem more complicated. In actuality, it is as complicated or as uncomplicated as we want it to be. This book will give you a simple way to find the real you in all your magnificence. I am all about no pain, definite gain.
Just becoming aware, at some level, that you are the source of your experience changes your view of that experience. It becomes an adventure into your inner self, the workings of your mind, and your subconscious motivations. It becomes an exciting game that you will, sooner or later, master. The game is one you will eventually win, no matter who you are. It is simply a matter of how long you want to play by someone else's rules—or, rather, how long you want to play without knowing the rules. At some point in your existence, you will know, without a doubt, that you make up the rules for your game and then attract those who will play by your rules—or those who have the same rules.
I can't count the number of times people in my life have changed their behavior around me just because I thought differently. This means that I changed some of my beliefs as well. I personally think that having less annoying and irritating behavior around me and more cooperative, helpful, fun people is a plus. The fact that they were the same people, transformed, was the miraculous part. Very interesting, isn't it? When you change what you believe and how you think, the circumstances of your life change to mirror those beliefs and thoughts.
Most of us are playing someone else's game by his or her rules. In fact, the ones who are making the rules may have already moved on to the next plane of existence or changed the rules for themselves. They may have been people you loved or respected or considered authorities about life.
We propagate someone else's rules by adopting them as our own; those rules then take on a life of their own. The beauty is that all you need to do is recognize them for what they are, and they will no longer have power over you or your life. The easiest way to get rid of an old rule is to put a new rule or belief in its place.
The first step is to entertain the idea that you are the power behind what is going on in your life and that, up to this point, you didn't know how to harness and use that power. In opening your mind to the possibility that you could change your life for the better without effort, you will find that it will happen.
Most would have you believe that it takes action and changing your evil ways to be successful and get what you want. This is so very far from the truth. In fact, if someone tells you something that makes you feel less than spectacular, simply ignore that person. If it is me, then ignore me. There is no effort in being successful. Even though, as you lose the baggage that made you think you were less than magnificent, you may engage in activities that seem industrious, you will feel like that activity is flowing and easy. You will also feel that you have plenty of time to do whatever it is you want to do and doing what you love leads to a very successful life on all levels.
When I began this process in 1996, I used two logical assumptions to support my new thoughts. One was that if this is not true, then I am sentenced to my life as it is—and why would I want that? This made me want to accept the premise that I am the power behind my life. The other logical assumption was that the idea that our thoughts create our experience is the only explanation for the random appearance of life. This idea explains how one person can do something and get an entirely different result from another person doing the same thing. It is the only fair way the world could work in what appears to be an unfair existence.
We could get into a bunch of data and quantum physics about the whole idea, but all you have to do is entertain the possibility that it is true; apply yourself to thinking differently, and the proof will be in your experience. It is supposed to be that simple.
CHAPTER 2
Becoming Aware
Another component of making time work for you is becoming aware of how you spend your time. This has nothing to do with doing anything about it; just become conscious of why you do the things you do.
Start observing yourself, your life, who controls it, and what purpose your actions serve. Are the activities you do the activities you want to do? Are they activities that you feel you must do? Are they things you do to forget or ignore your life? Do you choose, or does someone else choose? During this process, you are merely observing yourself and where your time "goes." Observe how you make decisions about what you do or don't do. There are some who feel they have no decision to make, that most of their actions are chosen for them, or that they spend a lot of time putting out fires or rushing to the next activity that is, of course, a necessity.
When you are not "doing" anything, what do you feel? Do you "waste" time? Why? Do you feel guilt over wasting time? What activities or nonactivities are in your "wasting time" category, and how did you come to that decision? What are your beliefs about wasting time? Do you take time for yourself regularly, or do you do it sparingly and then feel guilty? Must you fill your every waking moment with something to do, watch, or play? Do you actually know what you want to do, what gives you joy, and what activities you are passionate about? Becoming aware of all of this does not take any time; it just requires a different thought pattern.
Instead of allowing life to go on without you, become a part of it—become aware of what makes you tick, function, go through the motions, and why. Don't be frustrated if you can't be aware all the time or if your questions to yourself have no answers. The answers and solutions will come to you when you can handle them, and we will get to that as well. Above all, have fun with it, try not to judge, and be patient with yourself. This is just a data-gathering experience. It is not meant to be a beating-up-on-yourself experience. We are all in the same boat, trying to figure out how to steer the darn thing.