Three Dreams of the World's Creation and Soledad: Letters to My Daughter

abbott press

Contents

Three Dreams of the World's Creation.....................1Part I...................................................2Part II..................................................5Part III.................................................8Part IV..................................................13Part V...................................................17Part I...................................................19Part II..................................................22Part III.................................................26Part IV..................................................29Part V...................................................34Part VI..................................................36Part VII:................................................50The Third Dream:.........................................53Epilogue.................................................85Soledad: Letters To My Daughter..........................91Prologue.................................................92

Chapter One

    Part I

    Beneath the earth, he opened first his eyes
    Mountain ranges fell to dust and void
    And countless times merged as rock, world and man
    Then past all time, word and deed
    To void again unchanged
    Frozen time in glacial form flowed sinking
    Into cradling holes before creation
    And toward its end dragging mountain boulders
    Across the face of imagined history
    Deeply scarring possibility

    And yet he climbed toward the light

    Made of flesh and form
    Which would give birth to humankind
    Granite leeching into bone
    Moving as rock and gas and water to eternal beat
    Dispersed, as fingers grasping emptiness
    Coalescing each in its own place as named
    Their pace not measured by human span or thought
    But by galaxies unhurried, birthing and dying

    He climbed, each step measuring a life

    A life sloughed off
    To start again, a step then death,
    Each death adding to the next, an endless once
    He died every man and woman
    Which would ever live and die
    These numbered all things that life contains

    Each mite, crawling, flying, swimming thing,
    Each blade of grass and grain of sand
    Until each step numbered countless lives
    With each sloughed life, there died all things
    And every word and act

    Unending climb in dark

    Light unknown but yearned
    Gave direction to his climb
    Past countless pits and halls
    Through narrow inclined paths
    Glimmering specks hushed the water rivulets
    That rushed eternal to where he had been
    Small points of light gave shape to a curving path
    With clouds of glowing light-made haze
    With silver flecks, brightly shining
    The word light was born
    Now spoken, now called by name
    Though yet again mountain ranges fell to dust
    And rose again before
    He entered the earth's domed blue sky

    And walked among the living and dying things
    All grass and fruit

    He left no trace of his passing there
    For with each step, the grass
    Recomposed itself
    He felt a void and could find no path
    Nor one create
    Passing into the time of the sun and moon
    Of living things, of pain and loss
    Of death, regret and sin
    Of man's thought, deed, and words

    Which all betray

    And so he bitterly exclaimed:

    Though now just born to light
    I feel the sins
    Of all unborn and yet to be
    I need to be of rock and darkness hewn to bear
    A weight as this, all things foreseen
    Not from godly sight but felt pain and loss
    What hand has torn me from
    The earth and water down below?
    Eternal life though in black night is better than
    This quicksilver time of soledad
    Cursed be this tyrant god
    Whose ends through my travails
    And pain will be revealed
    And yet the pain is small and easily borne, all loss
    And pain, regret, defiance but a grain of sand

    To this yearning void compared


    Part II

    In the darkest water's depth
    The incandescent rocks made her body shine
    As a red dwarf pulsing star
    With mouth agape against the sinuous
    Current that gives nourishment to all
    The gliding creatures of the dense nutrient sea

    With graceful fins to maintain her place
    Facing the red glowing warmth
    No thought, stillness nor desire
    Swallowing the swirling sea
    The great weight strove to crush her
    The current's filling flow held her
    Balanced between the crush and flow
    All creation birthing, dying
    Born again through her
    Until she craved the light
    Not knowing its kind or name

    Woman your name is spoken
    All life, all seed of life has flowed through you
    So that you may fertilize the land
    With all living things that are to come
    These words, each one a bell resounding
    Awakened some part of her
    That understood and could see beyond
    Could plan and master things as might a god

    The ancient god which spoke these words
    Loved woman more than man
    For she was more fully made in his image
    And in a fit of love for self
    Gave her a fuller measure of love
    Beyond all reason a strength to love
    And that encompassed both life and death

    But in a jealous stronger strike,
    For her soul shone brighter still
    Than his own which could not love
    But that which mirrored him
    He gave her pain in love
    Through man's betrayal and disloyalty
    And child's ingratitude
    But to this god's dismay this steeled her soul
    And she rose higher still in creation's hierarchy
    Of which he too was part, and given to
    Crescendos of passion saw that he had gone too far
    Seeing his mirrored soul in her
    More beautiful than he could aspire,
    Imprisoned in envy's grasp,
    He measured loss to love
    So pain would ever equal love
    Even as she gave birth to the world

    All this in her ascent to water's surface calm
    She escaped death that day because
    She would pay that debt in pain

    In the warmth of the sun after the long ascent,
    A yearning void split in two
    The tumultuous pair of love and pain
    Innocent still of joining's agony
    No longer finned leviathan but of female form
    Of voluptuous grace she rode
    In god's cupped hand upon the waves
    And landed by verdant plains alone
    Where all was green and in its place,
    But nothing moved except the wind,
    And there was no sound,
    But the rasping blades of grass
    And bristling leaves
    One upon the other in undulating waves
    She looked upon this plain

    Fine of form (and thrice again and more
    Of voluptuous grace, for this woman
    More than beautiful, shone from within,
    Like the sun to the moon, and gave freely
    As a summer shower to parched sands
    That answering bloomed in deepest colors
    Of eternal love, your ignorant, humble
    But loquacious scribe must speak
    When woman's grace is faintly praised)
    With smooth brown skin bathed by the sun
    And almond eyes which called forth
    The fruits of this world


    Part III

    The ancient god had one more play
    To consummate his plan, and whispered well
    Into the ear of man, the dangers of
    The keepers of the winds and the giants that guarded them
    For charged and powered by the ancient one
    And challenged not by beast or lesser god
    They drank, ate and played
    Then slept as desire swayed,
    At day or night, and then again,
    And they walked as gods would walk
    The ancient god would remove them all
    To reach his goal and rule the world alone

    He said, O piteous naked man in paradise,
    Not you, nor yours will ever rest in peace,
    But work all your days to please
    The keepers of the winds and their giant slaves
    They will crush your first and second born
    Like sparrows' eggs, and suck their juices dry

    This awoke in man a fiery rage
    That burns unto this day, and man exclaimed:
    My arm alone, my fist will rend unsafe
    This world against the giants
    And the keepers of the winds
    I will secure the safety of all my progeny
    Monsters too multiply and hidden evil seed
    Will rise in ages distant now
    But loved offspring and strong will vanquish
    The evil of their days

    And having said, vainglorious man sought out
    The keepers of the winds and giants too, that guarded them
    And slew them as they slept
    He crushed their heads and sucked them dry
    And was satisfied
    Never had creation's plan or thought, intent
    Released a creature such as man
    To their surprise and regret
    The keepers of the winds that blew in orderly
    Progressions from North and South
    Then East and West, balancing each without destruction,
    Had become too proud, and the giants
    Who walked where they pleased, now were no more

    (And here your ever humble and modest scribe
    In apologetic style must interject
    Your patient forbearance requesting
    That man though intentioned well to love
    Protect, secure the well being of future humankind
    Thus freed the winds to lash the Earth
    With furious storms and tides, and so unbalance harmony
    That lion first thought to eat the lamb
    And man to thrill at killing man
    And where giants walked, pestilence freed
    To walk prouder still, and where it pleased,
    The ancient one joyful that ruling
    Would be eased and men would slay in name of love
    And burn their goods to him
    So love betrayed once more, man would
    Remain an easy prey and slave
    And is unto this day)

    One task more befell the female of the pair
    There crept unto this land from secret plagues
    Of times before, female creatures of fair design
    And grace who with improvident excess
    Would eat their young and careless consorts too
    The furies as they were known, and of later fame,
    Had played at love with the ancient god
    For he enjoyed sex and blood, and would kill
    In ecstasy full, a score of them
    It was he who taught them well the blood sport thrill
    But he had wearied and wary too, that provoked by
    Greed and lesser gods they planned to dance
    Upon his grave buried in foul excrement

    Now woman, he intoned with soft whisperings,
    These will prey upon you, your progeny come of man
    As me they claim as god supreme and will not share,
    And hunt you down and take your man
    To fill their appetites

    How simple to provoke and take his ease
    As woman, female privy to their wiles
    Could snap a trap of death
    She did not disappoint, but wandering lost
    Throughout the plain with plaited vines
    Captured many of succulent game
    That she had spewed in practice run of fertility
    And by happenstance, or so she said, entered
    Upon their camp, straining under cacophony
    Of leaping, jumping, braying game
    Wild boar, hare, deer and elk and fowl

    The furies, used to fruits and grain, and occasional
    Lovers' or off-springs' blood, saw an abundant feast
    And woman's promise of roasted meat, another first,
    That would fill the nose and heart of the ancient god
    With jealousy

    And cook she did, with many herbs, after slaughter
    And feast of blood, and pegged the vines
    On posts of wood to round the fire and bid
    They sit upon the vines to watch her cook
    The fire rose, fed by scented wood and
    Boar skin drippings, and singed the low-flying clouds
    Their senses filled with mouth watering ecstasy
    They soon fell one on another to devour
    And all approached the raging fire
    And blinding smoke in maddened hunger
    Soaked by blood

    Woman leapt and looping vine and posts
    Around the frothing maddened mob, four score,
    Trussed them all and tossed them to the fire
    (And only three escaped, or so I'm told,
    To bring despair to other lands, your faithful scribe)
    She cooked them well and ate them all
    She always brought to end what started well
    And she exclaimed:
    What use fertility without blood-lust strength
    To protect, defend my own
    I will eat bone sinew, muscle and blood,
    And from this day will care with love,
    Guile and cleverness too
    But rise in vengeful, blood enraged
    To defend the lives of those I love

    The ancient god blinded with tears
    From the fat-filled smoke and fallen voracious
    Upon the sizzling roasted boar,
    To his regret, did not hear her vow,
    Not magic ring, or sword, but brute force love
    Would give her strength forevermore

    The ancient god saw his creation's grace
    And lust, but also hate was born
    Toward this pair of creatures he had called
    To fill the earth with living things of his invention
    He could not live, but only stand
    Aside and watch their lives
    They should not be who live this life but he

(Continues...)

Excerpted from Three Dreams of the World's Creation and Soledad: Letters to My Daughterby juanantoñio Copyright © 2012 by juanantoñio. Excerpted by permission of abbott press. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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