CHAPTER 1

The Positive-Thinking Woman

Our minds hold the power that shapes what we do in life.Whether our thoughts are positive or negative, we areshaped by what we think. James Allen says in his book AsYou Think, "We are literally what we think, our character being thecomplete sum of all our thoughts." What it all boils down to is one'sthoughts form what one is or what one becomes. Who is the positive-thinkingwoman? Is that you or someone you would like to be? Doyou find yourself thinking negatively and uttering negative comments?Do you know that there is a divine presence in your life that is alwayspresent? Was positive thinking nurtured in you from the beginning?Were you made to feel good about yourself?

When you come into this life, your mind is like a blank sheet ofpaper. It is truly up to parents and other meaningful individuals to writesomething on that blank sheet and to provide positive reinforcement. Itis up to them to prepare the child for the challenges of life and to fosterpositive thinking. When this is not done, life experiences can sometimesbring about counterproductive results. Now, of course, children don'talways heed the lessons parents teach them, but at least if they arepresented, the chances of those lessons kicking in at opportune timesare heightened. All children need nurturing by those significant peoplethat surround them on a daily basis. The importance of self-esteemshould be instilled. A child should be encouraged to reach for the starsand engaged in discussions about the talents that God has bestowedupon each person.

Hopefully, the adults that surround the child do not squash herdreams. It is important that a positive-thinking child matures andembraces this characteristic as an adult. In spite of these parentalinitiatives, some may acquire feelings of self-doubt that damage theirself-confidence and ability to succeed in the world. Of course, somehave not had parental or significant people encouragement. However,it is never too late to undergo transformation.

This book is written for black women, young and old, who areseriously seeking to think positively. If you are a young woman whowants to develop into a positive, strong, beautiful, and confident blackwoman, this book provides some practical steps that will help youreach your goals. I hope that the more mature black women who neveracquired these attributes or who have begun to doubt their magnificencewill find this book a helpful refresher. I also hope that it will be aninspiration to dispel any doubts you may have about yourself. It willhelp if you know that there is a God who promises to be with youthrough it all. You can transform your life. I want you to be able todevelop into that positive, confident, beautiful, and successful womanthat God intended you to be.

In this day and time, many of us face so many problems, challenges,and fears along with competition and jealousy. Whether you know itor not, we continue to live in a country where racial discriminationcontinues to exist. There are many doubts about the future. There areworries about the financial status of the country as well as the enormousamount of societal ills in the community and the world. However, wehave to remember that we are profoundly blessed, and we can keep apositive outlook on life. I am not suggesting that you deny the truthbecause you must acknowledge what is actually happening around you.Things are definitely going to go wrong. There will be certain forcesin life that you cannot control, such as social, political, and economicconditions. However, there are conditions that you can adjust to in life.Life is full of trials and tribulations, and you definitely have to deal withthem. Do not allow trouble to immobilize you and stop progress. Whenyou are a positive thinker, you can recreate what you want in life. Ifyou are not satisfied with your position in life and don't have a sense ofaccomplishment, then you must change the direction you have taken.This is positive thinking. No matter what happens, things will turn outalright. As a black woman, you have the ability to accomplish whateverit is you want to achieve. The mind is the key component to believingthat what seems impossible is indeed possible. You must expect thatthings will turn out alright. You will focus on the goal. A good exampleof this is found in the story of the Apostle Paul, who found immensestrength and courage in God.

He preached,

"I am more; in labours more abundant, in stripes above measure,in prisons more frequent, in deaths oft. Of the Jews five timesreceived I forty stripes save one. Thrice was I beaten with rods,once was I stoned, thrice I suffered shipwreck, a night and aday I have been in the deep, in journeyings often, in perils ofwaters, in perils of robbers, in perils by mine own countrymen,in perils by the heathen, in perils in the city, in perils in thewilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false brethren;In weariness and painfulness, in watchings often, in hunger andthirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness. Beside thosethings that are without, that which cometh upon me daily,the care of all the churches. Who is weak, and I am not weak?Who is offended, and I burn not? If I must needs glory, I willglory of the things which concern mine infirmities. I must boastabout myself, except about my weaknesses.... [God] said to me,`My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfectin weakness.' Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in myinfirmities, that the power of Christ may rest on me. ThereforeI take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, inpersecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak,then I am strong" (2 Corinthians 11:23–12:10, KJV).

Through all of the troubles Paul experienced, he let nothing stophim from his goal at hand, which was his ministry. Paul was a positivethinker, and he believed that he could achieve the goal that Christ calledhim to conquer. His task was not easy, but Paul truly believed he couldendure. Christ called him to preach the Gospel, and he did.

Paul encountered rejections and humiliating situations that wouldmake some people forget about what they were trying to achieve. LikePaul, many human beings have suffered adversities in life, but knowGod does not want you to be weak, passive, or ineffective. In spite ofhardships, like Paul, you can endure and will accomplish what you setout to do when you have faith. And remember: your strength comesfrom God.

Let us take a look at the journey of some black women who havesoared to great heights. Toni Morrison overcame divorce and otherobstacles to become a renowned writer who holds a Pulitzer Prize andthe Nobel Prize for Literature. Oprah Winfrey rose from poverty andtrouble in her formative years to become one of the most powerfulwomen in television, and she is very wealthy. Maya Angelou soared togreat heights after a troubled time in her youth when she was raped byher mother's boyfriend. As a renowned writer, actress, and professor,Maya is truly an example of what one can accomplish. Barbara Jordanhad a charismatic presence. She was the only black woman from asouthern state to serve in the United States Congress (1973–1979), thefirst black to hold a seat in the Texas Senate, the first black keynotespeaker at a national convention of the Democratic party, and she wasa leader of the Civil Rights movement. If she had not been strickenwith multiple sclerosis, this lady probably would have been seated onthe Supreme Court. She overcame obstacles when racism was veryprevalent in the United States. Racism continues to manifest itself inthese United States. Her attendance at the Boston Law School was nopicnic. She attended school in Boston during the years when Bostonwas not a friendly place toward blacks. Barbara was born and raised inTexas, and she made this statement to a National Geographic reporterin 1989: "I get from the soil and spirit of Texas the feeling that I, as anindividual, can accomplish whatever I want to, and that there are nolimits, that you can just keep going, just keep soaring. I like that spirit,"(utexas.edu/know, 02/18/13).

You, too, can have the drive these women have displayed. Do notconcentrate on societal ills; instead, concentrate on the productive andpositive things in life and, like these women, run the race that is inplace before you. You should not be confined to a particular professionbecause you are a female and black. Do not entertain the idea that blackwomen are not to perform in a certain profession, or that you are notsmart enough to head an organization; don't be afraid to show that thereis a place for you in any endeavor you wish to become involved. If thereis a desire and call to preach the gospel, go and preach. If you have thedesire to be a doctor, go and prepare to be a doctor. The arena is vast.Just know what you want, ask God to help you get it, and go get it.

Program Your Mind with Good Thoughts

Have you programmed your mind with good thoughts, or do you haveproblems with impure thoughts? If you don't program your mind withgood and wholesome thoughts, you may find yourself speaking andacting in ineffectual ways. When programming your mind, you canreview this passage, "Whatsoever things are true, whatsoever thingsare honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure,whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; ifthere be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things"(Philippians 4:8, KJV). In this passage of scripture, Paul reminds usto program our minds with good thoughts. Examine what you allowinto your mind by striving to focus on pleasing and pleasant things.You will then find that wholesome things flow from your mouth whenyou speak.

If it is difficult to have positive and wholesome things flowing fromyou, ask God for a cleansing of the mind. There are other things youcan do to cleanse the mind. Here are some suggestions:

1. Learn to deal with anger: Decrease what you get angryabout. Anger can place your life in disarray. Be concernedabout things that go wrong. Do not allow them to devastateyou. Remember: this, too, shall pass.

2. Look for good in each person: Realize that each person hasbeen through experiences that makes them different or maycause them to be or act contrary to what you believe. Lookat people with love and understanding while praying forthem. Believe there is some good in everyone.

3. Remember to forgive: Just remember to forgive those whotrespass against you, and your heavenly Father will forgiveyou.

4. Make every effort to have good moods: Life has many upsand downs. Sometimes it feels like the whole world is ina complete mess, and you can become depressed. If thisbecomes a long-term state of being, by all means, seekprofessional help. However, if this is just a short-term phase,stop and think about the good things in life. Surroundyourself with encouraging people. You don't need to besurrounded by negative people.

5. Do mood-changing activities: Have you ever felt as thoughyour mood or frame of mind is holding you back andpreventing you from moving forward in life? Discover whatyou enjoy doing and what comforts you, then take time toindulge in those activities. I find comfort in these things:listening to lively music, looking at previous vacationpictures, walking and observing the wonders of nature,and travelling. I find hope and beauty in many things. Whata pleasure it is to walk along the waters' edge or just sitand watch the beauty of nature. Magnificently, the sunrises in the east and slips away beneath the western horizonat the end of each day. That gives me a glorious feeling.Like ancient man, I marvel at the beauty of the night sky,with the fullness of the moon and the twinkling of thestars that light up the night, knowing that there must bea God somewhere. To hear the birds as they chirp in theswaying trees is exhilarating and mood changing for me.It is wonderful to watch the birds as they take flight in anamazing display of grace, mercy, and beauty. Then thereis the smell of flowers and their beautiful colors. I like torefer to the flowers as the Master's bouquet. These thingshelp me know that my God is truly at work in his universe.I enjoy lying back, allowing my body to go limp, closingmy eyes, and taking deep breaths, inhaling and exhalingslowly while thinking of nothing. It relaxes my mind andrenews my spirit. These things help me to focus on a positivemind-set. I love to travel and observe the beauty of otherlands and people. I recently met a young man in Jamaica.He said to me, "I am the Jamaican king of fire eating. I loveto dance." As he danced and talked about his passion forfire eating, his face beamed with an unbelievable smile. Ithought, at that moment in time, I was listening to one ofthe happiest people on earth. I was so inspired by this youngman with a marvelous personality. Exploring other landsand their cultures can give you joy. Please do not forget toenjoy and appreciate the life and opportunities that youhave in your own land. I have a fondness for great Gospel,Hawaiian and Caribbean music; I can sit and listen forhours. While you are involved in great activities that youenjoy, consciously avoid negative thoughts. It is a blessingto behold wonderful things. Participation in activities thatyou enjoy can relax you, while placing you in a position tobecome a person who sees new possibilities. And remember:sharing laughter and talking with others can provide theaura that will help you maintain positive feelings. It's up toyou and your preference.

Remove Negative Thinking

Are you having difficulty controlling negative thoughts? All of us havetimes when we are confronted by unfavorable thoughts. It is a prettycommon human trait. After you read this section, I hope you will beable to recognize what negative thinking is and be ready to end yournegative thinking. Keep this in mind: Change your mind and youwill elevate yourself to new heights. Positive thoughts will allow youto soar to new heights, mastering the goal you have in mind. Keep apositive and healthy attitude, and you will experience happiness andan abundant life. Proverbs 23:7 says, "For as he thinketh in his heart,so is he," (KJV). Keep an attitude that is positive, then see yourselfrise to the position you wish to attain. This principle is demonstratedthroughout the Bible.

Negativism is characterized by bad attitude, complaining, doubtand resistance. It is common to find negative people disapproving andcomplaining about other people and situations.

Sometimes, we find ourselves surrounded by negative relatives andfriends. They complain about everything: other siblings, hard times,aches and pains, jobs, wayward children, and even their spouses. Wehear the same complaints from generation to generation. Some peoplelook at things just to see if they can find something wrong. Negativismcan dominate your life and keep you in a constant state of unhappiness.Negativism produces undesirable thoughts and unenthusiastic people.If that sort of existence is prolonged, you could become comfortablein the midst of misery and strife. Would this be good for you? Oneyoung minister had an elderly aunt in his family. She would call himon Sunday mornings before sermon time to share her thoughts. Shecomplained and talked about relatives, acquaintances, and him. Shewas so disapproving that she criticized people who died many yearsprior. He finally had to stop accepting her calls because he carriedthe negative thoughts into the pulpit. Do not surround yourself withnegative people, and do not listen to destructive comments. People whoare negative will drag others down with them. They are unhappy andwill make others unhappy. This principle ties in with the old saying that"misery loves company."