CHAPTER 1

The Colic From Hell

Okay, pardon the language in the chapter title. But really, that's what it felt like. I was in the dark pits of hell and had no idea how to get out, or what I did to deserve being there in the first place!

In this book you will discover how I stopped Baby Kait's screaming, but I'm also going to take you through my journey a bit.

But 'why?' you ask? Because you might see some similarities to your own story. And you might take comfort in knowing that you're not alone. I know my biggest issue was the massive amounts of guilt I felt for the things I was thinking and feeling. And that guilt tore me apart far more than the colic itself did! So here goes:

Baby Kait was born about three weeks early, following a complicated pregnancy. Within a month from birth, she gradually went from being a slightly fussy baby who slept 3 hours in between feedings to crying for hours each day. Okay, I'll be honest, she was screaming her little head off! Each day her naps got shorter and she fussed more and more when she was awake. By six weeks, she was only sleeping about one hour at a time and fussing and crying constantly between naps.

Kait's colic lasted almost 6 straight months. She fussed all day long. She screamed from 4:00 PM until 7:00 PM. I'd have about 45 minutes to get my 2 year old fed and to bed and then we'd have the real scream session from about 8:00 until anywhere between 2 & 4 AM.

Such was my life month after month. Yep, total hell! And as much as I'm hoping with all my heart that you're not going through that same thing ... I know you would not be reading this book if you weren't.

We talked to doctors'. Nothing was physically wrong with her. We tried different remedies for indigestion (medical and natural), elimination diets, you name it ... we tried it. Diagnosis ... baby colic. Treatment ... not a damn thing.

This baby was exhausting the entire household with her constant screaming! There was NO way I was going to accept that there was nothing I could do!

Okay, to be honest ... I was too far gone in the depression and fatigue to think my way out of a paper bag let alone get all gung-ho to kick colic's butt.

That was all my Mom! She is one of those 'never say never' kind of people and made it her mission to not only help this little baby screaming her fool head off ... but help me find my way back to life. Have I mentioned that my Mom is my best friend in the whole wide world? If she would have let me dedicate this book to her, I would have!

She started researching, googling (isn't that the only way to research nowadays?!) and talking to everyone she could about colic. She came up with a common theme: Make baby feel as secure and safe as she felt in the womb."

Really, that's it. We didn't discover a magical cure. What we discovered is something that was right under our noses the whole time. We started following a little bit of common sense ... and a lot less of speculation.

So why doesn't everyone do this? Because honestly ... so many of us have the wrong friggin' clue on what the womb is really like. Or the wrong idea on how we should treat a newborn baby.

You see, let's just imagine the womb for a minute. It's dark, it's quiet, it's soothing, it's like being in a bubble where nothing moves or happens. Right?

WRONG!

It's tight, it's cramped, it's full of light from the outside world at times, it's constantly moving, it's noisy with mommy's fluids whooshing, heart pumping, stomach churning (forbid we mention anything to do with the bowel system!), mommy's voice, voices from outside, the TV, music blaring ...

So what do we do? Baby is born and we shove them into a nursery that is totally devoid of sound, dark as midnight (whatever that means!), and in a big wide crib with bars like a prison where this little baby can sprawl and have all the room in the world she could want.

And you know what baby says to all that comfort and pampering? "Holy shit, get me the hell outta here!" (okay, they can't talk so instead they scream Waa Waa Waa, but if you could translate that's totally what they're saying!)

Okay, so back to my original point: all I did to settle Kait down was use four age-old techniques that have been around since great-grandma's day that give baby the real feeling of the womb. And I'm betting you're familiar with every single one of them.

The trick is, you've got to do them a certain way and all at the same time! We call it SMOOTCH.

So, to continue with my story ... my Mom figured it all out and started doing it faithfully every time Kait started to scream. Me ... I was still in my semi-coma of staring into space wishing that I was anywhere else but where I was. I honestly didn't even notice that Kait was getting better. I didn't notice the silence. I was that far gone (but we'll talk more about that later!)

My Mom actually had to teach me how to SMOOTCH and drill it into my fog-filled brain day after day before I finally got with it enough to do it. I was in my own misery and quite enjoying my negativity that nothing was going to work, why bother trying, and who the hell did I kill in a past life to deserve this? But Mom had faith in me ... and kept at it.

I got the hang of it ... and started to realize that holy crap! It worked!

In the years since Kait's colic, I've been telling every mom I can about SMOOTCH.

But you and I both know that that's only half the battle.

Because even though your baby's crying will stop ... you're still down at the bottom of Alice's dark, smelly, crappy little rabbit hole and you're too tired to start caring about how to get out. I've got you. When my Mom first talked to me about writing this book to get the message about SMOOTCH out there and helping colicky babies ... I wanted to make sure we helped the mommies too.

The first step is discovering SMOOTCH to get the constant screaming to stop. The second step will be clawing your way out of that rabbit hole. I'll tell you my story, and how I found my way out. So let's get started.

CHAPTER 2

What the Heck Happened?

Okay, I'm going to come right out and say that this is the boring part of the book. This is where we have to take a quick step back and go over some of the basics. Some of it is common sense, some is a little technical but it's one of those necessary evils we need to go through before we get to the next step.

This part just sets the foundation for SMOOTCH and why it works. Kinda boring ... but necessary. So I'll be as brief as possible:

First of all let's categorize young babies into three groups. There are typical babies, fussy babies and colicky babies.

Obviously, all three kinds of babies cry as their way of communication. They cry to let you know they need something ... feeding, burping, changing, cuddling, warming, cooling, sleep ... and so on. All babies will cry if they are uncomfortable in any way. (See, I told you these are the basics!)

The Typical Baby:

A typical baby will stop crying soon after a need has been met. Once a typical baby is fed she is content. After changing a wet diaper and making her cozy, she calms down, and so on. This type of baby digests her milk easily, burps easily and does not seem to suffer from much gas build-up or indigestion. If a typical baby suffers from an upset tummy, it is only occasionally and often because she has become overtired.

These babies are good sleepers usually sleeping three to four hours in between feedings at birth. A typical baby's sleep lengthens to longer within the first two months of age.

These babies are usually born to other people!

SMOOTCH is a series of 4 steps for calming a crying baby. A typical baby will usually need only one of the SMOOTCH steps to stop crying and settle down.

Even these babies can become a fussy baby due to colds, fevers, teething, etc. so please read on if you are one of the lucky few that has a good baby!

The Fussy Baby:

The fussy baby is a baby who does not settle down so easily after a need has been met. After feeding, changing, burping or whatever the need may be, the fussy baby always seems to have something else that just isn't quite to her liking.

The fussy baby is more of a challenge for parents. Baby may suffer intestinal gas buildup, diarrhea, constipation, spitting up, or some other health issue, and trying to discover what is causing the symptoms can be difficult. Consult with baby's doctor to find any health issues that might be causing the discomfort and follow his advice on resolving them.

Once you have the digestive problems or health issues under control, the fussy baby stops her continual fussing and becomes a much happier baby.

Because the fussy baby is dealing with some aches and pains due to digestive problems or some other health issues, she may require two or more SMOOTCH steps to settle down.

The Colicky Baby

The colicky baby is the fussy baby PLUS. The colicky baby does not stop crying when a need has been met. This baby continues to cry even after you have eliminated any digestive problems or other health issues, even after the doctor has assured you that there is nothing physically wrong. Colicky baby = absolutely uncontrollable and inconsolable crying spells!

The colicky baby's crying spells may be for an hour or more at one particular time of day. They can occur any time of day, but are often in the evening. In severe colic, whenever baby is awake, she is fussing or crying.

Although each baby is different, these spells usually start about 3 to 4 weeks of age and stop on their own about three to four months of age. Some babies ease their way into and out of colic gradually and others have a more sudden onset and finish.

About 20% of babies suffer from colic and premature babies seem to suffer colic longer than full-term babies.

one theory that kept cropping up in our research, and one that we believe makes a lot of sense, is that colic relates to the stress response mechanism of the brain. In simple terms ... when baby needs something, she becomes stressed and responds by crying. When the stress is resolved, the response should be to stop crying. But if the portion of the brain that controls this is not fully developed, baby does not know how to stop the crying. You need to help her learn how to stop crying!!

My theory? A typical baby is able to settle once a need has been met or a stress has been resolved. The stress response mechanism of a typical baby's brain is fully developed at birth.

The stress response mechanism of a fussy baby's brain is fully developed at birth, but can get short circuited from dealing with the discomfort of digestive problems or other health issues.

But, in a colicky baby, the stress response mechanism is not fully developed, so even when all stresses have been eliminated, her brain cannot recognize that the stress is over and she just continues to cry. The crying itself becomes a stress to the baby, causing more crying ... a type of hysteria that is beyond the baby's control. As baby's brain develops over the first few months, she gets better able to recognize that the stress has been relieved and she can settle herself.

The degree of colic that a baby suffers corresponds directly to how developed the stress response mechanism of her brain is.

Thus, there is no real cure for Colic. Until baby's brain develops enough for her to manage stresses on her own, you have to learn "stress management" for her.

Because of the colicky baby's hysteria, all steps to SMOOTCH are required at the same time to settle her down. And so, read on. Whether your baby is good, fussy, or colicky, the simple techniques in the pages ahead will give you the confidence to handle any crying spell!

CHAPTER 3

Silence!!! (How to SMooTCH)

Here's the heart of the matter. This is the part that you've been waiting for ... getting blessed, blessed silence ... right?! We're going to dive right in head first so drum-roll please ... (okay, I know, I took it too far!)

Take notes in this section — this is the 'work' part. This will take some effort to do but trust me, it's so worth it. Because I'm guessing if you don't get that baby to stop crying you're gonna lose it (if the screaming didn't bother you, you probably wouldn't be here, right?)

All right, let's get you SMOOTCHing your baby right away ... because I know you may only have moments before the crying starts again.

SMOOTCH is simply creating an environment similar to what the baby experienced in the comfort and safety of the womb. Remember chapter 1? We want to recreate the womb the baby remember, not what we think it should be!

So really, that's all SMOOTCH is ... a combination of techniques that duplicate the womb ... techniques that have been used by mothers down through the ages ... that apparently have skipped a generation or two unfortunately! So let's get technical for a moment:

There are four steps to SMOOTCH. They're all so simple, and yet are so effective to getting that silence that your mind and body are screaming for right now!

SMOOTCH is made up of:

1. "S" Swaddling your baby nice and snug.

2. "M" Move your baby. Swing, Jiggle, Sway, or all three combined.

3. "OOT" Give your baby a soother to suckle.

4. "CH" Making a constant, and loud ch-sh-sh-sh, or similar shushing sound.

Yes, it's really that simple. No, it's not rocket science. You can do this!

I'm sure you've heard of each one of these steps before (it's not like I'm announcing the location of the Fountain of Youth or the Holy Grail). They work. But for the colicky baby, there's actually a method to the madness you need to follow.

Going back to Chapter 2 for a moment ... the good baby only needs one of the SMOOTCH steps to get settled ... a fussy baby may need two to calm down.

But the colicky baby needs all four steps at the same time to be effective. And the more you SMOOTCH your baby, the shorter the SMOOTCH sessions need to be. It doesn't take long for your baby to recognize what you're doing and realize that she likes it. She'll settle down more quickly each time. After a couple weeks of using SMOOTCH we could get Kait calmed within 10 minutes (not bad considering I was used to her screaming for hours on end!).

I'm going to break down the four steps for you. They may be simple, but there's still a right way and a wrong way to do this! This section alone will give you enough ammunition to strap on for your baby's next screaming snit. (Which means you may get more than two hours of sleep tonight — that's always a cause for celebration in my book!)

Step 1. Swaddling

Swaddling is basically wrapping your baby snuggly ... like hospitals do with newborns. Although I gotta admit that when they handed me my son I didn't pay attention to how they had wrapped him up & never thought about it again until Kait was born!

Swaddling has been used for centuries to keep infants warm and settle them down when fussing. Some cultures wrap the baby right to the mother's body to really mimic the womb.

Why is swaddling so effective? You see, during pregnancy there is very little room for movement and baby had to push against your internal organs to change position. I bet you're nodding right now and remembering all those (sometimes not-so-pleasant) pushes and kicks ... that always seemed to be aimed directly to the bladder!

Once baby is born, the lack of 'close quarters' gives her an insecure feeling. She's scared! It's like being tossed into a big black void and there's nothing to hang on to. When a baby is crying inconsolably, she needs to be wrapped snugly to give her back that sense of security. This security is very important for baby's early development.

Sadly, swaddling has become a lost art in the Western world. I can speculate that all the cute, fancy sleepers and outfits that most babies are decked out in has circumvented swaddling. Seriously, how can you show off your favorite hockey team's mini-jersey if baby is snuggly covered up? (Okay, I'm from Canada, hockey is a pretty big deal here!).

Have you heard of a baby's startle reflex? That's when the muscles in a baby's arms and legs contract involuntarily (this is totally, perfectly normal) causing baby to startle, and usually to wake up and cry just for good measure. It ticks them off!

Why do I bring this up? Because swaddling prevents this startle reflex from kicking in (no pun intended). Swaddling keeps baby's arms and legs firmly wrapped, reducing startling. Result: baby sleeps deeper and longer. (Yes, you can breathe a sigh of relief here.)

That's actually so profound at this point that I'm going to say it again: baby sleeps deeper and longer.

If that's one of the main benefits of swaddling a baby ... isn't that worth doing even if they aren't colicky?!

An added benefit ... swaddling helps babies retain body heat. This means less layers and extra blankets in the crib. Having baby's arm movements restricted reduces the chance of accidental suffocation from baby pulling loose blankets over their head. That may sound extreme, but it has (very sadly) happened.