CHAPTER 1

Journal - part 1

The journey continues. These are notes from E.C.'s journal as he goes about his life to church, to work, to teach, to play, and to visit friends.

Jesus comes and fills me up at adoration. Jesus fills me up and all things are possible through Him.

Also when we say the Our Father we are connected to all people.

Earlier Father Russo said, "Faith helps us to see." He also said at Christmas Jesus comes to save us from ourselves, from the human condition."

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If God gave me only four days to live, how would I live, how would I love God?

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Father Randy talked about where one builds a life on the gospels and God a foundation. And mysteriously God is present in our lives based on the gospel and faith.

Later I had an idea of letting go of my games and my hidden agendas.

This day became the first day of my life I wished to love God and to love others with everything I do.

Earlier at adoration I was looking at the Host in the monstrace.

I had the idea God fills me up ... the Eucharist fills me up. And that has been missing ... filling myself up or allowing to be filled up with God. Then much is possible through God.

I also thought about how to talk to another without suggestions and advice. Perhaps I could say instead "what do you think?" A different topic, when we give to certain groups like the Franciscans we help them bring God's love to others.

And if I have Jesus inside, God inside then I will be ok ... my body will be ok in the good times and in the storms.

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Why am I so angry all the time? Is it because I am refraining to get what I want ... I want it this way or that. Instead maybe refrain from wanting. Maybe say it is their point of view. Maybe look at it through their eyes. Maybe have no attachment to my opinion.

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Tennis is little bitty. It is in the breathing.

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Spend the energy on focusing on what I do and what I can do instead of what others are doing.

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From Church 11/27/2016

Father talked about the many missed opportunities to be with God ... So many . ... So many missed visits with God ... with the person and God is inside that person. There are so many missed chances to be with God. When our mind is so preoccupied we refrain from visiting with God and with nature and with others.

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For me it is one step at a time. One foot in front of the other ... that is what I am ... that is good for me and where I need to be.

When I love God, I will be ok, regardless of how my body is.

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May I give instead of wanting others to give to me. May Jesus be my light inside. May my writing come through me from God. May it continue to do so.

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My light is Jesus. He helps me get in touch with the Light of God inside me, others, and all of this world.

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From Church 11/28/2016

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Father Bob is right. We need to live now. We need to be ready now for our deaths. No one knows when that will come.

So live our faith, live our life. Still no need to live it out of compulsion. Simply live it in a gentle and loving way. Simply sing the song as Ashley did last night. Simply live the faith when it is part of me instead of "as if."

How do I love you today God?

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My attitude is stopping me. I need a clean spirit. Then I can look at all people.

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Tennis is an opportunity, Where tennis is an interest, Where there is enjoyment, Where there is an enjoyment of the feel of stroking a ball.

It is different from overachieving ... for attention, for a ranking, for to be someone ... all too much excessive energy.

Instead an interest in what one is doing, an enjoyment, an interest in the person. Each tree is different. Each person is different. Each shot is different.

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Breathing in and out, Breathing in and out, describe the beauty, draw it.

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How can I love thee today God? to see a "bigger picture," to draw, to write, in my writing to love God, to wake up every morning to love God. My attitude, my meanness stops me in my life. Instead to wake up every morning to love God.

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Dear God,

Help me to forgive. Help me to put my "stuff" aside. When I do so I can see The pretty blue skies, the trees, The sunlight coming through the trees. And I can see the beauty in that person right before me.

E.C.

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11/23/2016

Our whole purpose is to love God, to love others, all of creation ... to massage the earth with love.

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11/23/2016

Jesus is holding a flash light helping to light our way back home to God ... helping us see our way to God the Father. Jesus is holding the lantern. Jesus is the "lumen aid" for us all.

The cells in our bodies and in life get their energy from the sun. So too us we get our energy from the Son of God.

I am thankful to my family and to all the people who helped introduce me to my religion.

God is my power, my motivation ... God helps get me out of bed. Though I do need to go to bed earlier.

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If there is something that brings love inside, let it grow ... No need to have to have it or her ... Simply let it grow ... the love grow without having to have it or possess it.

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Jesus gives to us all the time in the Eucharist. And all through my life God has given to me in little acts of kindness from people.

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From Church 11/20/2016

Father Andrew talked about Jesus being Lord of our hearts. And he talked about Jesus being in all the parts of our life.

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Dear God,

Please guide me today.

E.C.

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I am thankful for God bringing me to my faith through my father, mother, family, doctor, and all the people in my life.

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To do everything in my life to serve God, to love God, to use the body I have to do God's will, to work for God.

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It is just a game, how to play it, serve in, Play tennis, the "bounce, hit" tells so much, getting a serve in, returning a serve, knowing and calling the score out, after the game ... Henry walking off the court with his hand on his opponent's shoulder.

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"Life is not a matter of having good cards, but of playing a poor hand well."

Robert Louis Stevenson

"Anything that gets you to release the stress in your life and really laugh is worthwhile."

Lucie Araz

"A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour."

Evelyn Loeb

"Music is moonlight in the gloomy night of life."

Jean Paul Richter

CHAPTER 2

Journal - part 2

Part 2 11/12/2016

A sacredness with all of life is what Jesus is about. And the saints are followers of Jesus. A sacredness of life ... all of us.

From Church ––

Prayer Sincere, Pray from the heart, Stick with it, habit, Perseverance. Prayer gave Jesus power. Prayer helps us to be close to God, close to heaven.

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How to play the game of tennis? ... Starts with humility, gratitude, love.

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When I look at the cross, I see something bigger than my own problems.

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A direction in my life

See nature, Safety, Sincere, One little brick ... we are all one little brick on this floor of life, art work ... an open sky, a life of quietly giving, doing, living our faith.

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How to find a way to play ... tennis and life?

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What can I do is make my life in sinc with God ... to live a life with God, for God, of God. For God is different than only out there. God is inside me and others ... that deep down inside me is God ... that deep down inside each person is God.

To live my life in tune with God, for God, of God ... all I do is for God. To walk, to write, to draw all for God.

Life is short. So live it with God and others ... to write about what is in my soul ... to live in harmony with God inside and outside ... to see that and do that.

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On Tennis It is about the playing in this moment instead of being "number one." It is about playing in this moment. The "number one" is fleeting. It is about the playing in this moment.

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From Church

Father Randy explained that sometimes the connection between the internal and outside is broken. For me the words in the mass are meaning more. Jesus bring us, reminds us of our original nature ... Jesus along with God the Father and the Holy Spirit restores us.

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My problem is that I focus on what the other person is doing. When I do "bounce, hit" it is better. And when I quieten all the coaching tips inside and notice the seams of the ball, I focus on my ball.

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Dear God,

Show me what you want to add to the recipe of my life. What is it you want me to add to the recipe of my life?

Sincerely, E.C.

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When I chew my food more, then I might be more here and refrain from jumping off to other places.

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10/31/2016

We pray. God saves. God's time. We pray in this moment, for this moment, during this moment. This moment ... Our Father, Hail Mary.

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A Tennis lesson Thank you. Let go. Expect nothing in return. Racket shake or handshake.

Let go. Go back to helping, then let go.

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Prosperity – I have a hard time taking prosperity. So I thought about it. There is no taking prosperity. It belongs to God. It is an attachment for me. No attachments. Give the Glory to God. Simply say thank you.

"Glory be to the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit."

It is more important to enter into the Song of Life than to worry about the prosperity one way or another.

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From Church

"Us versus them". ... Father said that we are really all one ... each other. So who is the good guy? He went on to say "less is more". Some of us have just yet to develop.

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On tennis teaching – Listen and work with the person, tend to with love versus to impress, to be someone, to gain favor. Instead focus on the person and their success, their completion of a task.

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Doing something because ... it is of interest to you versus to gain attention, versus to be "best camper", versus for awards, versus for recognition versus for money ... so much money.

Instead doing something because one has a genuine interest in such ... then one is more sincere, one is more aware.

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From Church 10/28/2016

Father said that we are all apostles following Jesus.

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We are like the bricks on the floor of the church. Together all support all people who choose to come to church here.

We are like the pieces of the stain glass window behind the altar. It is a mosaic stain glass window of many different shapes, colors, and sizes. So too, we are a piece making up the whole.

We need to climb into the songs we sing in church. We need to climb into the gospel readings. We need to climb into the mass. We need to climb into our faith.

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10/29/2016

Sincerity in my life. Sincerity ... and my writing comes from that. Sincerity and this moment, this day.

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One word at a time, Each word, this one moment,

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How to take prosperity? Maybe this one moment, Then shake hands and let go, Maybe this one moment, deal with it, Maybe play the ball, Maybe the process, Maybe in the money, ... share it. Maybe in people ... so too share them. No one really has another. All are temporary. Maybe give any success – give it to God for He is the reason ... He is the Potter. Maybe start with gratitude and humility, Play with gratitude and humility, and end with gratitude and humility.

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To slow down, and be present with that person, tennis is little bitty.

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10/24/2016

to be here – to be near God to go forward in my life, to focus on the love inside, to focus on the Eucharist I received today, to become that love, to carry that love to others.

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To get all the girls' attention. It is too much energy, too much. Instead possibly pay attention to myself and to pay attention to those really hurting. We are like little fingers caring for each other.

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From Church 10/16/25

Father Bob related a story about volunteering. He said at first it feels good. Then one has a feeling of intolerance. Then one realizes that they can make only a dent at best. From here people either quit or become a saint.

Father went on to say when we pray, a little bit of God rubs off on us. And it helps us to keep going, to refrain from giving up.

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"A good day to be born, a good day to die as long as God is in your heart (soul)."

Pope John Paul 23rd.

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Father said that when we say "Amen" in Holy Communion ... it signifies us being present to the Lord totally ... that Jesus is present body and blood in my hand.

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to look for the good shots, to remember the good shots ... the good times, to look for the Beauty, tennis is little acts of kindness, to go from the Archer's bow to love others ... to love the little child, ... to love all people, to have faith in God, to melt the gummed up neurons. We are all unique ... and we are all the same ... united in unity ... each with a song, each singing in the larger Song of Life.