SHIRLEY IRENE

In The Beginning

As Shirley left babyhood, so did the family leave their neighborhood. Living near the Chicago river, often times rose would push her in her buggy, across the bridge, where one day, so the story went, baby Shirley tossed her mother's purse through the rails and into the river! The family had a large collie dog, named Lad, who used to watch over baby Shirley as though she were one of his pups. Many times, went yet another story of her baby-hood, Lad would grab Shirley by her dress, and drag her across the grass to keep her away from any traffic! Many Sunday afternoon's they would accompany another family to Navy Pier. Having formed a friendship with the captain of one of the huge ships that docked and offered rides into Lake Michigan, Lad was given to him.

The move found them in a lovely bungalow on Keeler Avenue, two blocks from the main street car line, Fullerton Avenue. Everett was sent to the nearby Catholic school, while Shirley remained home, too young for school. The next door neighbors were an elderly couple, named Nick and Mary. Coming from the "old country" (Italy), they spoke very little English but were always kind to her as she played in the backyard. One day Mary passed away and Shirley was taken into their parlor where Mary lay in her casket with lit candles on either side. Though she felt no fear, Shirley always remembered that somber scene. Because there were no little children nearby, she was fairly much left alone to amuse herself in whatever fashion. There was a sandbox under the enclosed porch and many an hour she spent there. She was also allowed to play with the garden hose, which she frequently did, making mud pies, decorated with berries from the bushes in their yard.

Shirley had her own bedroom, across the hall from her parents, Everett, however had his bed in the attic. He used to make balsam-wood airplanes by the hour and had them hanging from all the rafters. On rare occasions Shirley would be allowed to go up there and was always enthralled with all the space he had, and how he kept it decorated with these planes. On weekdays they would all eat in the kitchen, but on special days they would use the dining room. Shirley loved sitting in there, it was so pretty! On days like Thanksgiving or Christmas she and Everett were both given small glasses of wine as well. She was always treated well, as far back as she could remember. One memory she had of Everett as a young boy was when he was making lead soldiers. He used molten lead and somehow had spilled it onto his inner arm. In great pain, and fearful of being "caught" he had immersed his arm under the faucet in the kitchen sink, and who should discover him, but Shirley! Running into the other room to her parents she announced that "the boy" had a big owie! Rose came into the kitchen and took in the situation, she simply told him to dry himself off, and get up to his room! There would be no more lead soldiers for him! He was never taken to a doctor, and all his life he carried horrendous scars up and down that arm! Everett never stood up for his son, even though he had fought for his custody, and though she was young Shirley must have picked up on those vibes, for Everett told her she was a wicked little tattle tale! Somehow, the two were raised in the same house yet never knew one another as brother and sister. Because Everett was difficult for a little one to say, she simply called him "boy"! The eight year difference in their ages did not keep Everett from resenting the love of attention she received and would often retaliate by doing small but cruel things to her. He would put pins in a rubber ball then offer to "play catch" with her. When the pins pricked her hands and she would cry out with pain he would simply scoop up the ball quickly, remove the pins, and state innocently he had no idea why she was such a cry baby! Yet, there were other times, especially as she grew older, when he would display affection for her, in spite of himself! Many times he would hoist her up on his shoulder and get her to church, it being such a long walk. Neither Everett nor Rose attended mass, but were insistent that the two children should. As he continued to act out his rebellion he was ejected from parochial school for "behavior problems", (throwing spitballs at the nun for one thing!) so he went to public school for the remainder of his grade schooling.

Often, in the evening, Everett and Rose would walk down to the "corner tavern", at which time Everett and Shirley were left alone. Later in life she was to learn that after their parents left, so did Everett! He had a rope rigged up, wrapped around the chimney, so that he could leave through the attic window! It seems that they had locked the door to the attic, with a towel around the knob, so it could be told if he'd come downstairs. So he simply outsmarted them. Perhaps it was just as well little Shirley never knew how frequently she was left alone, sleeping, in that bungalow! By time she turned 5, in 1933, she too, entered Barry School. The two were able to walk together for a time, and then Everett went on to Kelvyn Park High School. School was an amazing world for Shirley. She learned to read, the most wonderful gift of all! She made friends throughout the years there, graduating in 1942. During that period she learned so much about so many things. She ate her lunch at the school store across the street, with other youngsters who lived too far away to go home. The school had no lunchroom, but they did have a large gym which was a glorious place to play and run off steam in. In seventh and eighth grades they were able to play music and have dances, where both boys and girls were taught the art of ballroom dancing. What fun!

Meanwhile, back at the house things were about to change once again. It seemed, they were told, that "we are moving." It would be their job to "get rid of anything they didn't really need" because the place they were moving to, was much smaller than the bungalow. The place turned out to be an upstairs, rear apartment, the front apartment was above a tavern, and the owners lived there. The downstairs rear apartment was rented by an elderly Polish couple. There were three bedrooms, but they were very small, yet both Shirley and Everett did have their own rooms. This move also meant another three blocks added to Shirley's walk to school, the High School was closer for Everett. Still she begged her father to allow her to finish her schooling at Barry, because she knew no-one at the closer Nixon School. Somehow he did manage to get her a permit so she could do so. They were right on the corner of Tripp, one block over from Keeler, and Fullerton. The streetcar stopped right on their corner. Shirley was thrilled to be where there was so much more activity! She would spend much time, sitting at the kitchen table, gazing out on the streets, people watching! Everyone, it seemed, had some place to go, and they were all walking there, past her window! Being on the second floor also allowed her to look without anyone being able to look back at her. When her mother would send her out to the grocer or meat market or drugstore, she enjoyed being able to do these errands, to walk among so many others. Mostly, she loved going to the meat market, with the sawdust on the floor, and the huge pickle barrels set out. Sometimes, mother would allow her to spend two cents and buy one of those huge dill pickles! Her mother told her how when she was young, she and her friends would stick peppermint or lemon sticks into a large dill pickle and suck the juice up. Sure sounded disgusting, but once she tried it, she and her friends used to do the same thing.

While there had never been any sign of physical abuse, there were no real signs of affection either, even between Rose and Everett. A simple kiss goodbye each morning as he left for work, and again on his return. Then, when Shirley was about 10 years old she witnessed what would be a final confrontation between her father and Everett. He had been in and out of trouble for most of his teen years, both in and out of school. By the time he had reached his senior year the quarrels between him and his father escalated. In her bedroom reading, one evening she heard loud voices. Soon the loudness became actual shouting. Recognizing her father and brothers' voices she threw open her door and watched in shock, as her father continued his tirade right in Everett's face. Because she had come to know the good side of Everett she very much felt the need to go to his defense, yet was fearful to do so. Still, she slowly ventured from her bedroom and was surprised to hear herself shout: "No, No, don't ...", but was cut off by her father as he told her to go back in her room. Afraid to not mind, yet she hovered outside the doorway shaking and frightened, knowing this particular argument was far more serious than any she'd witnessed before. Suddenly she saw her father punch Everett—not once, but several times—and with a fist! Her father was but 5'1", slightly overweight, with an extended stomach from the beer he consumed. Her brother, in contrast, stood at 5'9" and was young and strong from all the task's he'd been made to perform over the years, including carting around a sister. But there he stood, solidly, with one arm in front of his face for protection only. Not once did he try to defend himself by striking out. Rather, he gave that sad, tight little grin she'd seen so often, and simply said: "I'm going!" Looking toward Rose, he added: "That's what SHE has wanted all along, and seems that's what you want too." Losing all control, Shirley ran to the kitchen doorway trying to reach out to Everett, but was held back by her father. Tears streaming down her face, as she tried to twist away from her father's grip on her wrist, she begged him not to let her brother go. Shoving her backward into her mother, he leaned over the second floor railing and shouted at Everett's back: "GO! Go ahead and go, you'll come crawling back or end up in jail where you belong!" Coming back into the kitchen he slammed the door shut and strode angrily into the front room.

Shirley spent that night lying in her bed crying and praying that God would watch over Everett, unaware that her own words ('my brother') had added even more fuel to her father's anger. In the morning when she tried to approach her mother about what had happened, her mother's response was that she didn't want to discuss it—ever. If she knew what was good for her Shirley would not bring it up again. Besides, she was informed, it was none of her business anyway, after all Everett was her husband's son nothing to her or to Shirley! Still, rebelling at her mother's attitude, she slowly and somewhat fearfully approached her father that evening. She begged him to reconsider, to take Everett back home, but was stunned by his cruel response. She was told: "Forget Everett! He was never anything to you, he is not your brother! He is nothing! He has done nothing but cause trouble between your mother and I all these years. What happened—happened. It is now done and over with. Do you understand young lady? Don't you ever—EVER mention him around her again!" Once again using the newspaper as his barrier, he simply ignored her presence. This was an awakening for her, however shocking, she had to accept the fact her parents could be really cruel people. What an eye opening fact for a young girl to try to accept. She found herself mulling over this change of circumstance many times when she was alone. She tried to understand how it had all come about, and where it left her!

The next day, when she returned from school she was surprised to find her mother home, and so she was able to enter the apartment. Never having been able to enter their home when a parent was not present, had never happened, usually she had to sit on the stairs in the hallway until her mother returned. Even in the bungalow she never had access to the house, although she wore a house key on a string around her neck, it only opened the door of the enclosed porch, not the house proper. So, she entered slowly, wondering what had brought about this particular change. As she neared Everett's room, heading toward her own bedroom, she encountered her mother on the way out of his room. She stood there in the doorway with what seemed to Shirley a strange sort of smile on her face. Peering over her mothers shoulder Shirley was shocked to see that Everett's room no longer existed! All his belongings were gone, and the room had undergone a big cleaning and a complete overhaul! Continuing on into her own room, she wondered what now?! "What is going on now?" She would find out, within a week, what was going on. Meantime, Shirley found it strange that no one ever asked about Everett, no one seemed to notice he was gone! She realized that they were new to the neighborhood, but still, shouldn't someone question the fact that Everett was no longer living there?! But no one ever did.

Then, once a week had gone by, Shirley was informed as to her silent question of: "What now?!" Once again, on returning home from school, Shirley found the door unlocked, and on entering the kitchen she found her mother sitting at the table talking quietly with a strange man. Shirley was informed that this was Dick, their 'roomer', who would be staying in the 'extra room'. ("Everett's room" thought Shirley soundlessly) and nodding she went on to her room. Afraid to question this whole new change of events she simply accepted it, and stayed in her room more than ever. Having been told to "do as your told, and mind your mother" so imprinted in her mind, what else could she do?

When she was about to turn 13, she sought to find a job during summer vacation, only to be told she would need a work permit. She had so looked forward to having money of her own, other than the couple dollars she earned from occasional babysitting for neighbors. Although her mother supplied her with clothing, she was never allowed to choose anything and she yearned to dress as her schoolmates did. Gathering up her courage she asked her mother for her birth certificate so she might obtain the permit. Her mother was not at all pleased with the idea, she was willing to let Shirley work, but wasn't sure she could be trusted with such an important paper, after all she was rather stupid and not the most dependable. However, she put the certificate in a sealed envelope with instructions that Shirley give it directly to her teacher and return it to her that same day. Shirley gave the envelope to her teacher and was stunned a short time later to be called to the office! Never one to cause trouble, she could not begin to imagine what the summons might mean. Imagine her surprise when the principal advised her they 'had a problem'! It seems there was a discrepancy as to her name! Her name? What?! At this point she was shown her birth certificate which stated, to her shock, her name was Shirley Irene not Shirley May as she had always been told. She was then informed that her mother would have to come in and straighten the matter out! All the rest of the day Shirley was tormented as to how she could possibly explain to her mother that she had to come to school the next day. Slowly, as the day progressed she began to realize that maybe the birth certificate was correct, as the principal had insisted! Now, after all, she hadn't even known her own name? How could that be?! She remembered the friend who had discovered, by accident, that she had been adopted. She told Shirley how she felt so terrible, as though she had lived a lie all her life. Shirley began to understand how she felt! That afternoon when she informed her mother of the problem her mother became livid! Red-faced, she angrily ordered Shirley into her room where she was to stay until her father returned home. Shaken more than ever, Shirley, of course, did as she was told. She always did. When her father came home her door remained shut until she was called for supper. After eating, as they did the dishes, her mother informed her she would accompany her to school the next morning. She did, and no more was said with the family, however, Shirley was advised she would be referred to as Shirley Irene from then on. When she questioned her mother she was told: "Don't let it throw you—WE know what your real name is, and that's all that matters! Those school people know nothing!" It wasn't until many years later, as an adult, she heard the actual story of how her God-Mother had passed on her own name to Shirley!