"The Spirit Within"

Balboa Press

Contents

Dedication.............................................................................................................................................vAuthors Notes..........................................................................................................................................xiiiIntroduction...........................................................................................................................................xvOverview...............................................................................................................................................xviiExamination Of Conscience..............................................................................................................................xixFasten You Seat Belt...................................................................................................................................xxiIn the Beginning.......................................................................................................................................xxiiiOpening The Door.......................................................................................................................................xxvConnections through Spirit.............................................................................................................................xxixDissection.............................................................................................................................................xxxiPrepare for Liftoff....................................................................................................................................xxxiiiChapter 1 Giant Penguin Attacks and Preaching Seals....................................................................................................3Chapter 2 Beginnings of the Silent "Voice Within"......................................................................................................7Chapter 3 Losing Then Denying the Spirit Within........................................................................................................9Chapter 4 A LIGHT in the "Pit of Despair"..............................................................................................................16Chapter 5 Creating Memories............................................................................................................................17Chapter 6 "From the Sidelines" and the Power of the Press..............................................................................................20Chapter 7 Butch and Sundance: The Inert Chemicals......................................................................................................22Chapter 8 Connecting through Spirit....................................................................................................................27Chapter 9 Fate and the "Toke," in Black and White......................................................................................................34Chapter 10 Ghosts and Shadows..........................................................................................................................36Chapter 11 The Cost of Ignoring the Voice Within.......................................................................................................40Chapter 12 The Awakening...............................................................................................................................44Chapter 13 The Conscious Choice to Reconnect Within....................................................................................................47Chapter 14 Unknowingly Practicing for the Future as an Inspirational Speaker...........................................................................52Chapter 15 Miracle or Coincidence......................................................................................................................55Chapter 16 Connecting the Purposes of My Past Experiences..............................................................................................57Chapter 17 Laughing and Talking Aloud in Church........................................................................................................59Chapter 18 How to Calm a Hostile Environment...........................................................................................................61Chapter 19 Edward and His Gift.........................................................................................................................65Chapter 20 The Feeling of Despair......................................................................................................................70Chapter 21 The Lion's Den of Pre-Judgment..............................................................................................................72Chapter 22 General Inspection..........................................................................................................................74Chapter 23 Guidance from My Spirit Within..............................................................................................................75Chapter 24 Using Fear and Punishment as a Means to Discipline..........................................................................................79Chapter 25 Close Encounters of the Spiritual Kind......................................................................................................84Chapter 26 A Diamond in the "Rough" and Students as Teachers...........................................................................................86Chapter 27 From "Plain" Flight to "Plane" Fright.......................................................................................................98Chapter 28 The Lesson of Spirit in One Lifetime........................................................................................................102Chapter 29 The Lesson of Spirit in a Brief Lifetime....................................................................................................106Chapter 30 Trying to Ignore the Voice Within...........................................................................................................108Chapter 31 Human Being and My EGO Self.................................................................................................................112Chapter 32 My Personal Miracle and SADD Ending.........................................................................................................115Introduction: The Relationship between Our "Ego" and Our Spirit Within.................................................................................121Chapter 1 Knowing then Consciously Choosing, thus Free Will............................................................................................123Chapter 2 Journey to Awakening.........................................................................................................................125Chapter 3 The Past versus the Present..................................................................................................................127Chapter 4 Expansion through Change Is an Eternal Process...............................................................................................129Chapter 5 You Alone Determine Your Truth through Free Will.............................................................................................131Chapter 6 Connecting to Your Spirit Within.............................................................................................................134Chapter 7 Bridging the Gap between God and Yourself through Your Spirit Within.........................................................................136Chapter 8 Learning to Use Your Spirit Within...........................................................................................................140Chapter 9 Braking Unwanted Habits Begins with a True Desire from Within and Keeping the Commitment to Yourself.........................................142Chapter 10 Recap.......................................................................................................................................146Chapter 11 We Can Never Die............................................................................................................................148Introduction: Developing Further Awareness for Truth...................................................................................................153Chapter 1 The Power Source Within Us, Is it Physical or Spiritual?.....................................................................................155Chapter 2 Scientific Proof and the Existence of God....................................................................................................157Chapter 3 We Are the Co-Creators of Our Moment-to-Moment Life..........................................................................................159Chapter 4 There Are Two Separate and Distinct Perspectives, the Spiritual Perspective and Then the Human Being, "Ego," Perspective.....................160Chapter 5 Co-Creating at Its Best and a Demonstration of Being Connected through Spirit................................................................162Chapter 6 The "Truth" in My Experiences................................................................................................................167Chapter 7 The Illusion of Body through Experiencing My Own Spirit Within...............................................................................168Chapter 8 People Who Have Died and Clinically Came Back................................................................................................170Chapter 9 Experiencing a Deeper-Level Consciousness Awareness..........................................................................................174Chapter 10 The Eternal Moment..........................................................................................................................176Chapter 11 The Bond of Spirit with those we Love.......................................................................................................178Chapter 12 Factual Medical Evidence and Miracles.......................................................................................................183Chapter 13 The Miracle Man.............................................................................................................................186Chapter 14 On the Lighter Side.........................................................................................................................189Chapter 15 The Passing of Our Dad......................................................................................................................191Chapter 16 Inside the Spiritual Box....................................................................................................................198Chapter 17 The Spirit within animals and Pets..........................................................................................................201Chapter 18 Dimensions of Spirit and Symbolism..........................................................................................................205Chapter 19 Ghosts, Apparitions, and the Spirit World...................................................................................................208Chapter 20 Encounters with Angels......................................................................................................................210Chapter 21 Self-Guidance...............................................................................................................................213Chapter 22 The Energy and Power in Words...............................................................................................................214Chapter 23 Imperia Morazinni Pacific, Our Mom—(a profound vision)................................................................................216Chapter 24 Pennies for Your Thoughts...................................................................................................................220Chapter 25 Potato Man..................................................................................................................................223Chapter 26 Abraham-Hicks...............................................................................................................................226Chapter 27 This Book Ending and Your Book Beginning....................................................................................................227About The Author.......................................................................................................................................231Acknowledgments........................................................................................................................................233Glossary Of Terminology................................................................................................................................237Source References......................................................................................................................................239

Chapter One

(The Catholic faith during the 1950s from a kid's point of view)

For myself and the older generation, challenging any Catholic authority figure—such as a priest or nun—was unconscionable and could mean certain combustible rewards in the afterlife. Hell, they turned up the heat on me more than once. I realized a long time ago that most priests and nuns were more mortal than spiritual. Maybe it was because they dressed up like arctic animals. When I was growing up, I attended St. Mary's Catholic School and Church. It was a French school that taught classes in both French and English. I learned to speak French fluently before I graduated. We were taught Catholic religion and Catholic rules and Catholic commandments. I was influenced by stern Catholic discipline. Because life for me is a great adventure, I was never one to adhere strictly to the rules.

One of the first and most important lessons each student learned very quickly was to fear the priests and nuns. Discipline and control were established primarily through the use of wooden clappers. Clappers were made from two pieces of solid oak held together with a brass hinge. They were approximately three inches long by two inches wide with a space in the center where the index finger would be placed. When snapped together, they made a clapping sound and were operated by one hand. The clapping code was similar to Morse code. A clap, or two successive claps etc., had a specific command demanding a specific action. Multiple rapid-fire claps meant stop whatever you were doing, including breathing, and be deathly quiet or else. In church, one clap meant stand, two claps meant kneel, and so on. Clapper clacks, the sound a clapper makes, and clapper discipline affected the nervous system of all who were subjected to the dictatorial uses they represented.

Most of the priests and nuns felt it was their responsibility to teach me discipline and Conformation by instilling the fear of God in me. Unfortunately (or fortunately) for me, I just did not believe in a mean old God. I sure did learn how to pray, though. Fortunately for them and for me, the delayed-acquisition response rule was in effect. Sometimes my prayers were answered immediately (for instance, when I felt they were trying to kill me and it didn't happen). As a little kid, I had no idea what a real "bad habit" was until I went to parochial school. I soon realized, from observation, trying to kick a "bad habit" could result in a near death experience. As an altar boy, I was dedicated to serving at the 6:00 or 7:00 a.m. mass daily after delivering the early-morning newspaper. I come from a large family of ten, and each one of us had the responsibility to contribute in any way we could.

I learned that many of the priests and nuns did not practice what they were preaching. "Do unto others" and "love thy neighbor" was sometimes demonstrated with a slap across the face. On special occasions, such as on any Sunday or a Holy Day of Obligation, a yellow whip across the hands was supposed to make me feel closer to Jesus. Invoking His name aloud while being disciplined was a definite no- no. I prayed for the day when talking or laughing in church would not cause a memory lapse for several hours. It was a triple mortal sin to whisper in church. Laugh in church and you would be hanging right next to Jesus, nails and all. In case you were not aware, nuns did not walk—they floated. You just could not tell when they sneaked up behind you. One of their most feared forms of silent attack was the clapper clobber to cranium central. I heard later on in life that US Navy SEALs used the exact same maneuver to paralyze the enemy. These martial arts forms of discipline were always accompanied by some form of mental abuse such as, "mon espece de coconut de sans dessain." Literally translated, "my sample of a coconut that is not a drawing." I was confused after hearing that; because I had no idea what in the hell it meant. I think this is where the term dazed and confused originated. There is no question they were trying to exorcise the devil out of me, but sometimes the punishment did not fit the crime. To be fair, I was not always the perfect student which was expected.

Once in particular, as I wavered in and out of consciousness after a well- executed clapper clobber, I could have sworn I was looking at a giant penguin and a seal. As my vision slowly cleared, I realized it was Father Laurel (aka "The Ruler") and Sister Hardy (aka "The Cannonball.") Their particular brand of comedy was only funny when they used it on someone else.

I thought devoting oneself to emulating Jesus and His teachings was done to achieve Christ-consciousness awareness. Their purpose was to become a living example of His love and teachings. If they had dedicated their life and service to Jesus and all His teachings, why did they not love me to death instead of opening a can of whoop-ass on me or using my skull for a drum solo? I believed in God and Jesus, but I needed to find the absolute truth and exactly how it all connected for me. Many of their actions spoke much louder than the words they were teaching and preaching. My Catholic indoctrination allowed me to see through the inconsistencies of a Catholic religious education and what I considered to be, at times, hypocrisy. I received many positive, oriented gifts through my religious trials and tribulations, unlike some children and adults who have been scarred for life through abuse at the hands of an authority figure, in the name of religion.

I am most grateful that I have come to my own knowing that the unconditionally loving God I have come to witness and experience was and is not to be feared—unless you have been repetitively conditioned by other human beings to believe that God will punish you for your sins. Know then that if you have chosen this as your truth, and if you believe it and accept it as your truth, so shall it be. Making choices without being judged by God is exactly what absolute free will is all about. According to some religious philosophies God, will punish you for your sins.

Let me get this straight; I am created from the image and likeness of God. I am a part of God our Father, but if I screw up, God will punish or condemn to hell for all eternity me—apart of Himself. If free will were not an absolute truth, then there would be no purpose whatsoever in being human. I do not believe an eternal Almighty God can be compartmentalized in any one religious expression with limited human-being thinking—including my own.

When we practice true forgiveness, our Spirit within radiates the pure, positive love of God, which burns away all the negativity our ego uses to fuel itself. We then become a more loving and much happier person to our self and then to others. You will feel the effects immediately within, and the world will brighten before your very eyes.

Chapter Two

I cannot remember exactly when I realized praying or talking to God made me feel and think differently. The more I prayed, I discovered, the less anxious I would feel. I never asked for big things or a lot of something. My prayers were pretty simple, but somewhere along the line, I began noticing I felt differently after I prayed. I had a very peaceful feeling within me after talking to God. I also knew that talking to God was just as good as and sometimes better than saying prayers. I experienced a feeling of calm within when all around me there was turmoil. I could have never described it then, because I did not understand what it was. As far as I was concerned, everyone must experience this peaceful feeling occasionally. I specifically remember my classmates throughout grammar school would jump, scream out, or become startled every time the school's fire alarm sounded unexpectedly. It never startled me, and I always found it interesting.

I began to understand that when I became afraid and kept thinking about it, I would become even more afraid. And the more afraid I became, the higher the level of fear I experienced. But when I remembered to say a small prayer and focus on the request being granted, it reduced my fear. Whenever I did something that was against the rules and got caught, a punishment of some sort was guaranteed.

If I focused on the punishment, my mind tried to come up with a few thousand excuses in the attempt to extricate me from my guilt. I would worry, experience anxiety, and waste hours trying to change the inevitable outcome of my punishment. Whenever I somehow remembered to talk to God and then focus on the belief everything will work out (including my punishment), I felt a certain calmness within. I knew I had to face the music, but at least I did not waste my time worrying excessively and building up a higher level of fear.

Somehow I became more aware of it when I played sports, especially contact sports. Whenever I needed to take my game to the next level, I always became quieter. For me, screaming and yelling only drained my energy, like letting the air out of a balloon. My senses were heightened when I remained quiet and centered.

It took a long time for me come to realize that when I quietly focused without thinking too much, I felt differently about things. It was an awareness that allowed me to see things differently. Again I still had no idea what it was. I just knew it was something different. I sometimes felt a connection with certain people, not just my family. When I would work out alone I occasionally experienced a deeper awareness to everything around me. I loved to feel this connection and as such, I sought it out frequently. It took a long time to realize I could keep myself out of trouble and happy if I would just listen to that subtle little feeling within me. I also began to understand that I could depend on it when I needed to. It took many years for me to come to the realization it was my Spirit or Soul within. It was separate from God, yet always connected to God—whether I believed in God or not.

Chapter Three

My love of sports began at an early age. I was pretty good in all sports, but hockey became a passion for me. I used to train regularly at the nearby ski hill to achieve a level of condition that surpassed my contemporaries. I developed a personal Native American relationship with the hill. As I would jog up and down Jericho Hill, I felt connected to it and my surroundings. I never remember training to be a chore I had to do; I looked forward to it. Resting at the top, I always was amazed at the beauty that surrounded me as far as the eye could see. Jericho Hill Ski Area was somewhat of a spiritual place for me; there was something about the silence and nature. From the top of Jericho, you could see the trees at Indian Hollow, where, according to folklore, the Native Americans held sacred ceremonies long ago.

(Continues...)

Excerpted from "The Spirit Within"by Paul Pacific Copyright © 2012 by Paul Pacific. Excerpted by permission of Balboa Press. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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