Born in the projects of Spanish Harlem to a disabled mother and an abusive father, Steve DeMasco spent most of his childhood lost and angry. Drifting from one job to another, he stalked the streets as a troubled youth, barely surviving while all of his peers were either dead or in jail, until he found himself on the steps of the Shaolin Temple.

Originating more than 1,500 years ago in ancient China, the Shaolin monks were simple farmers and worshippers of Buddhism who learned to protect themselves from the constant danger of bandits and overlords with a kind of "meditation in motion," a nonlethal form of self-defense that didn't violate their vows of peace. As their legend grew, they became known as the Shaolin Fighting Monks, revered across the land for their spiritual dedication, enlightened message, and amazing fighting skills.

DeMasco entered the Shaolin Temple to battle the demons of his past. But he got more than he bargained for. Besides learning how to wield weapons and take on multiple attackers at once, he discovered an ancient philosophy that helped melt away preconceived notions of the world, and gave him a powerful platform on which to live and grow. In The Shaolin Way, he adapts these teachings for the modern world, singling out ten secrets of survival that can help anyone live a more fulfilled life.

The Shaolin Way

HarperCollins Publishers, Inc.

Chapter One

Survival Is Not Enough

Warfare is the greatest affair of state,
the basis of life and death,
the way (Tao) to survival or extinction;
it must be thoroughly pondered and analyzed.
-- Sun Tzu

Sun-Tzu said that the basis of life and death is whetherone survives or dies. The idea that people get up every day tosurvive is a habit-forming concept, but we need to rely on itbecause getting up every day is a necessity of life. Therefore,it's an extremely difficult habit to get away from.

Most of the people in my world were survivors; they grewup in the projects, often went hungry, and didn't have clothesor shoes for school, and many had abusive or drug-addictedparents. It wasn't until much later in my life that I realizedthere are different levels of survival for all people, and thatthose levels depend on where we are in our lives. For children,young adults, or adults, survival can mean dealing withwhat I had to as a kid, or it can be something entirely different, like going to a job that many days you hate, dealing withthe everyday pressures of life like bills, family issues, and education,and then just waiting for Friday to come to have theweekend. A lot of people spend the weekend just trying to getdone what they couldn't do Monday through Friday, and thenit starts all over.

Whether you're a monk or a regular guy, the quest for survivalis a natural dynamic of life. In prehistoric times, a caveperson's life was probably about staying away from hungryanimals, natural disasters, and sickness. We have also beensurrounded by war -- something else we must survive -- insome fashion for all time, in every part of the world. What wehave not personally seen, we studied in school; when youcracked your history textbooks as a kid, what did you learnabout? The Civil War. The War of 1812. World Wars I and II.

For many years I defined survival by my own experiences.However, I learned one very important fact about survival: Itis not a condition only of the poor. It does not discriminateand does not care about your color, nationality, or socioeconomicstatus. The struggle to survive -- just to get by -- affectseveryone, and can often feel like it's taking over our entirelives.

Are you living to live or living to die?

We essentially have a choice about whether we want to live tolive (enjoy life as we should be doing) or live to die (live to surviveonly). Humans were never really taught just to live to live.Society tells us that if we don't protect what we have, it will betaken away from us. Money and power in today's world arewhat a piece of fresh meat might have been to cave people;you have to grab on fiercely to what you find, catch, or earn,and fight everyone, including yourself, to keep it.

Therefore, the way you were trained to survive determinesthe methods you will use to survive. When we are born, ourparents protect us. When we've learned to walk and talk, andhave mastered a kind of day-to-day existence, we get thrownout of the house into something called "school." When wefirst get there, we don't know anyone or feel comfortable.Those whom we love have made us leave our home to gohang out with strangers, and we are introduced for the firsttime to people whom we will see more than we see our parents,who will have a profound effect on us for many years,and who will be essential to our self-worth, good or bad: ourteachers.

At such a young age, none of us have the skills to masterthis new experience, so we come home with glue in our hairand a bruise where one of the other kids (also scared and uncomfortablein his or her new forced environment) hit us, andask, "Why do I have to go to school? I want to stay home andbe with you, Mom."

Here is where the fight for survival begins for most people.The answer from Mom comes: "Stevie, you have to go toschool to get educated." The kindergartner or preschoolerthen asks, "What does that mean, Mom?" She probably toldyou that it means you'll go to school, get smarter, and then beable to get into a good college -- all so you can get evensmarter than that, and when you're big like Mommy andDaddy, you can have a good job and make a lot of money. Itall starts here!

One of the major problems with learning to survive is thatmany of us spent so much of our young and adult life learninghow to survive that there was little or no training on howto live -- that is, balance it all so that we could survive and atthe same time enjoy life.

I lived in the thoughtless "survival" mode for a long time, without really "living." I worked six days a week, and on theseventh day I was on the phones and going to business functionsthat I would bring my family to, thinking that was goodbecause I was spending time with them, even though sometimesthey would be left standing around while I networked. Ithought I was having a great life, but really, I was just surviving.What was my life really all about? Work, work, and morework. And when I'd go home and my wife or kids would needmy help, I would get upset because hey, didn't they knowhow hard I worked -- for all of us? When I use the term "livingto die," it's because I wasn't living at all. I was working towarda goal that didn't include the very people in my life I love andcare about ...

Excerpted from The Shaolin Wayby Steve DeMasco Copyright © 2005 by Steve DeMasco. Excerpted by permission.
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