This book is to bring awarneness to any abuse victim that you are not alone and that you do not have to continue your life under the hand of an abusive person. The choice is yours. You can do it with or without the help of others. Please do not wait for that right person to come along and save you. You will see as you read this book that this is what Anna did therefore, resulting in a more abusive situation than she was in before. You may lay awake at night with the thought running through your mind that you will meet the right person who is going to love you for just who you are. This person is going to have a home for you to call "home. This person is going to love your children and help you provide all of their needs. This person is never going to hurt you. This person that you think of each night laying there in the dark not knowing if this will be one of those nights that you have to hear the abusive words or you have to hide to protect yourself and, once you are found and you will be, you face the beating, the bruising, the blood running down your face, this person that you are dreaming of is only found in one way. He will then be the only man who will allow you to . . . . Ride on Healing Wings.

Riding on Healing Wings

No More AbuseBy Gail Coley

AuthorHouse

Copyright © 2010 Gail Coley
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4520-2047-1

Chapter One

Mid Way the Race

Gazing out the window and knowing within that it was all over. All of the abuse was over. The word peace finally was a reality. Anna had taken her last blow, verbally and physically. She had made that decision to step out of her boat into the waters, Out of her comfort zone into the unknown. Not knowing if she could swim but at the same time knowing that she had the best friend, the best teacher, the best guide to order her footsteps. She knew that it would all come together and she would never be abused again. She realized that these years of abuse had just been stepping stones that she laid for herself out of ignorance in search for someone to love her just as she was. She was allowing herself to be deceived by words of untruth. Anna could finally smile no more abuse. She could provide for herself and her child in a home that would be a home of peace. A home where there was laughter, love and the peace of her Father.

For twenty years Anna had been under the control of someone else. In fact under the control of people who did not know God or how to walk under the direction of The Holy Spirit. Therefore, she was living her life under the submission of men whose footsteps were not ordered by God. Anna experienced abuse of all kinds. She could not remember many days before this day that she did not cry.

In the month of February Anna and her son, Todd had made it through Christmas and a New Year. She had spent much of two years praying and asking God for a home filled with the Love of God, a home where she could raise her child in peace. To Anna that word "Home" meant so much that she did not have. Anna had been raised in a home filled with love and compassion. A home in which her daddy was the leader. Her Daddy had been the one who taught her to love and how to care for everyone. Now she was in a position where there was no love. There was no compassion. There was only abuse for herself and her Son. She had been asking God to deliver her from the hands of an evil man, and He did.

Anna had won the race. She had broken the ribbon crossing her path. She was now heading in the right direction. Her race was all downhill. Her eyes were now focused on her dream of a peaceful life with no more abuse. Her dream, her goal was in site. She could see and feel the peace. She didn't have to feel the blows of an evil man any longer. The bruises could now heal.

The abusive words were no longer flowing through her mind. The tears were dry and she could smile again for the first time in many years. The finger prints on her arms had turned from black to yellow and would soon be gone. Her heart was healing as she "rode on healing wings."

Anna didn't have to pretend that everything was fine any longer. The smile on her face could now be real. The healing had begun. No more lies when her friends and family ask how she was. No more secret tears. No more hiding in the bath room to cry long enough to face who was on the other side of that wall with a smile. No more living a lie to make her son believe that she was really doing fine.

This part of Anna's life began when she was in what she thought at the time to be the worst marriage that anyone could ever have. Little did she know that another marriage could be worse. Another marriage was only another set of problems and worst than the first. Anna had always heard that the grass looks greener on the other side but it could be turf. Another saying that Anna had always quoted was: "I jumped out of the frying pan into the fire." That is exactly what she had done. Always looking for that right person to love her and accept her for just what she was. She was looking for the one that would not try to change her but rather just love her. Not waiting for God to answer her prayer for a husband with a heart of God's own heart Anna made yet another mistake. All Anna could hear were the words: "I love you and want to take care for you." These were words that she now knew as words of deception.

Anna was in her second marriage in which she believed was going to be the marriage that she had been waiting for, waiting for so long. Anna had moved herself and her son into a much worse situation than they had been in before. She had moved into the home of this man and he had opened his arms and heart to her and her son. In the beginning it was just what she wanted and had dreamed of. She had no idea that he was deceiving her. He took Anna and Todd out to eat. He took them shopping, and this was something that they had not been exposed to much at all. This was all a new world to them. This was someone that appeared to be kind, someone that appeared to care, someone that actually loved them. Anna knew in her heart that this had to be God. She soon found out that it was not God at all but merely a deception from satan himself. This is when the abuse started. Anna was in a state of stock. This was the man that had told her that if she would just come and live with him that he would care for her and her son and that he would marry her. He had told her that she would not have to worry about working that he had no one else to care for and that is what he wanted to do for Anna and Todd. Anna believed every word that he said.

One spring day Anna was sitting out in the sun while her son was at school. She was thinking that she had finally made it out of hell. A beautiful day in her life when the back door opened and John, the man that she believed loved her said in a very angry voice, "you've got to get a job!" She had never heard him speak this way before so she thought he was kidding with her. Anna then started laughing and much to her surprise John came out to her chair and pulled her up by her arm. He actually dragged her in the house. There he started saying things like, "you cannot stay here and not work, your son is tearing up the house. John pointed to a spot on the edge of the coffee table that had been there before she moved in and said, "Look what he is doing." She said, "That spot was there before we moved in." John then became even more violate and started pushing her around. He then started screaming at her telling her things that his ex-wife had said about her many years before. Such things as, what a protective mother she was and she thought she had a perfect child who could do no wrong. John was telling Anna names that she had called her. John's ex-wife and Anna were friends for a period of time. All of this out of nowhere on a day that Anna had no reason to believe anything was wrong. This was just the beginning.

John then started calling Todd names. He started pushing Anna around for absolutely no reason. All of this time Anna, John and Todd were attending church. Anna continually prayed and ask God to show John what he was doing to her and her Son. Her prayers seemed to go no higher than the ceiling. As time went on things got worse. At this time Anna and John were not yet married. She was so ashamed of what was happening that she would not tell anyone. Anna was allowing Todd to stay with her parents or his Dad as much as possible to keep him away from the abuse. Anna wanted this relationship to work so badly that she thought if she continued to stay that she could pray John through this. Anna finally got a job in hopes that this would make John happy and stop the abuse. It did not. The abuse continually got worse.

One winter day John came home to say that they were moving. He was selling the house that they were living in. He was going to fix up an old house that he and his ex-wife lived in that he still owned and was renting out at the time. Anna didn't disagree because she felt it was John's decision. She thought that she had no voice in what John did, therefore she had no voice in her own life as well. Once the house sold they had nowhere to live. They had to live with one of Anna's relatives for a month while the renters moved out and John could get the old house in livable condition. The strange part about all of this was that when John and Anna were in the presents of anyone else John was showing himself to be the most loving, caring person you would want to meet. No one had any idea what Anna's life was really like except herself and God. Anna always wore long sleeves to cover the bruises on her arms. John once told her that he had always told his son if he was going to hurt a woman to just grab her by the hair because that left no bruises. So, Anna was jerked around by her hair but she also carried a lot of bruises on her body and on her heart as well.

Once they moved into the old house John ask Anna to marry him. Anna was carrying around so much fear of John and fear of what she would do without a man in my life. Always wondering how she could make it by herself. Anna had married the first time at eighteen years old and had never experienced what it would be like to make a living for herself. That fear kept her in bondage. So, Anna married John.

When Anna made the announcement that she was planning to marry John there was one person who had known her since birth that said to her, "are you sure this is what you want?" Again, with all the shame and fear that she had within she attempted to make this one person, her brother Barry believe that everything was well. That she was happy and there were no problems. Anna believed that Barry had known her long enough and had been through many of life's trials that deep inside he knew Anna was hurting. Barry stood beside Anna through it all. He stood beside her in the front of the church the day Anna married John. Anna's parents had decided that she was not worth being their daughter any longer. Her mother would not even talk to her and her dad would talk to her only concerning the matters of her son. Anna's parents called her one day and ask her to come to their house and get a bedroom suite that was bought for her when she was 16 years old. Anna thought at the time that they were showing kindness. When she arrived they ask her to come in and sign a piece of paper. That paper was saying that she had received all she would get from them. And, at the time of their death she would have no rights to anything. In other words they were dis-owning her. Anna signed the paper for them, got the bed, dresser, nightstand and chest and left their home. The hurt was almost unbearable along with the hurt that she was experiencing every day of her life. Anna's parents had no idea what they had done to her. Her parents were just protecting their children that they loved. Anna was an outcast in their eyes. Someone who had not lived her life in the way that they thought she should have. This was just the position that John wanted her in. If he could keep her away from family and friends then he could keep her quite. Anna had one other relative that she stayed close to during this trial of her life. This relative was her aunt Mary. Anna's aunt Mary spent a lot of time with John, Anna and Todd. She never knew the hell Anna was living in. When they were all together, John was that other person that Anna had known before moving in with him. At this time Anna did not realize that this was a definite sign of an abuser. When in public John always had his hand on Anna. If she would start to say something that he did not want her to say his grip would tighten. She would know to stop and change the subject or just not say anything at all.

When John and Anna were alone is when his ground rules were laid. Anna was given rules to follow such as having to wear a certain brand of deodorant. She had to wear a certain kind of underwear. One night Anna finally got up enough courage to ask John why these two things meant so much to him. John's answer to her was, "it makes you look and smell like my mother." His mother had been dead for several years. Anna questioned several people that had known his mother. She found that John's mother had been a wonderful person who was subjected to abuse from her husband, John's father. As Anna thought about that it was frightening. She began to realize that John must have some kind of mental illness. So again, Anna went to God with this. She was still trusting God to change John and instill in him a realization of what he was doing. One night Anna had gone to bed after praying and asking God to reveal truth to John. Anna had a dream that she and John had gone to a rest home to see his father. His father had also passed away several years before. When they entered the room there on the bed was a very small figure in the fetal position. In this dream Anna reached over and picked this figure up, John's father. When she did a green slime began to run from his back. This slime ran all over John. When she awoke she had such a peaceful feeling. One would think that she would have felt frightened. Anna believed the reason she did not feel the expected fright was she then came to realize what John's problem was. John was under a generational curse. John had grown up in a home with an abusive father and that abusive behavior had attached itself to John. "The sins of the father." Anna felt such a relief. She had finally found the reason why she was being abused.

All through Anna's life she had been the kind of person who thought she could fix everything. She wanted to help everyone fix their problems. Anna's heart went out to people who were hurting. This dream she thought, was the answer to her being able to fix John's problem. She had the answer therefore she had the solution. God would deliver John from the generational curse. All Anna had to do was tell John what his problem was and he would accept it and all would be well. They could then be the family that Anna had wanted. Much to Anna's sorrow at the time, it did not work out that way. She had no idea how such demons work on a person. She was certainly not the one to be afraid of any kind of demon because since they had moved into that old house there had been such demonic activity that she would get up during the night and pray them right out of there. One night Anna was sleeping and all of a sudden she felt that she was being pulled into a closet. The doors were not fully open and Anna felt that it was a demon pulling her by the arm. She was attempting to just say the name of Jesus but was unable to get that name out and she was unable to detach herself from whatever that was pulling her in. When she awoke her heart was racing. Anna had to get out of bed and spend time with God. Once she laid back down on the sofa to attempt to sleep a little while all she could hear were the words, "have your feet shod with the preparation." Anna didn't feel like she was asleep but those words continually went through her mind. When she got up the next morning Anna ask God to reveal to her what those words meant. Anna believes God was telling her to get prepared. For what, she was not sure.

One night John had been screaming at Anna all night before they went to bed. She could do absolutely nothing right. Anna had hung his shirt up the wrong way. The hanger had to go up a certain way with the buttons facing the right hand side when looking into the closet. This was after standing and ironing them with spray starch. They finally went to bed and John went to sleep. Anna got up and went into the living room and was walking the floor and praying. All of a sudden John started screaming her name. Anna went into the room and John looked like he had seen a ghost. He was saying something was in the bed with him. That he had held it as long as he could and that it felt like a large snake under the covers. When he could not hold it any longer it slipped out of his hands and went out the window. Anna knew immediately there was a demon there and John had actually felt that. They got up and went into the hallway and there was a stench in that hall that was unbearable. This is the kind of thing that Anna had to deal with in John's presents.

Shortly after Anna had the dream about John's father and all of the demonic activity had taken place Anna decided that no matter what the cost she would have to tell John about this dream that she had concerning the green slime running from his father's back. Anna wanted to explain to him what she thought this was and that he could break that curse. So one night Anna did just that. This was the beginning of the end. Thank God! Anna ask John to sit down one night and let her tell him about a dream that she had. John reluctantly sat and listened to her. When she finished telling him the dream she began to tell him what she believed it meant. Anna had never seen such anger or such rebellion. After this she wasn't for sure if she was going to live through some of John's abuse. The physical abuse and verbal abuse worsened as time went on.

(Continues...)

Excerpted from Riding on Healing Wingsby Gail Coley Copyright © 2010 by Gail Coley. Excerpted by permission.
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