"This journal was once a gift to our young sons. It is now a gift to anyone who cares to read it."
When Major Mark Hertling deployed to Iraq in 1990 as the operations officer of an armored cavalry squadron, his unit was told 50 percent of them would likely sustain casualties. To him, that meant he might not return home and may perhaps never see his family again. To prepare for that potential outcome, he began keeping a journal, hoping that one day, if he didn't return, his stories and wisdom would be passed to his young sons.
In an army-issued green notebook, Mark began recording his thoughts and hopes for his boys. He wrote of character, leadership, camaraderie, battles, cultural differences, religion, love, fear, and the things he wanted his boys to know about him and his experiences. In unfiltered, handwritten entries, Hertling captured the reality of combat in Operation Desert Storm: the waiting and missions, the chaos and courage, the brotherhood and grief, and the lessons of duty and humanity forged in war. What began as a father's private messages became a rare chronicle of leadership and life in preparation for the crucible of battle.
But he survived, returned home, and was able to watch his boys grow into men. Decades later, after both his sons became combat veterans themselves, one of them typed those original pages as a gift to his dad-to preserve the legacy for the family's next generation. In revisiting those original journal entries, Hertling-having been promoted, having served in various positions, and having returned to the battlefields of Iraq over the next two decades-added reflections drawn from his life. Reflecting on various military assignments, then his post-retirement jobs as a cable news analyst, health care executive, and professor of leadership, these journal entries now provide valuable lessons on character, leadership, and service.
Part battlefield memoir, part father's journal, part meditation on the challenges of leadership, If I Don't Return is the story of a soldier who faced death, returned home, and continued to live a life of service.
Lieutenant General (Retired) Mark Hertling served thirty-eight years in the US Army as a tanker and cavalryman while also spending thirty-eight months in combat in multiple roles: as a major in a cavalry squadron during Desert Storm; as an assistant division commander in the 1st Armored Division in Baghdad (2003-2004); and later as the commander of the 1st Armored Division in Northern Iraq (2007-2008). After retiring from the army, Mark became a senior vice president for a major health care organization and later became a professor of practice in strategic leadership at the Crummer School of Business at Rollins College. He is an active public speaker on leadership, national security issues, and health care. From 2014 to 2024, Mark appeared as a military and national security analyst for CNN/CNN International. Today, he is a freelance analyst and writes extensively on national security and leadership issues for a variety of media outlets. His book If I Don't Return offers reflections of life and service based on a journal he wrote to his young sons during Desert Storm. Mark is married to his best friend, Sue. They have two sons, five grandsons, and two granddaughters.
