My Journey

My name is H. Castillero, and this is my journey. Even though we all are different individuals with our own experiences and challenges, our evolution in the cycle of life is pretty much the same. I would like to share my personal transformation in search of self-realization and spiritual meaning. Every blessing and failure I have experienced in my journey has molded and prepared me for this very moment to claim my divine right and fulfill my destiny.

Through the practice of yoga, I was able to regain my life. I came back from emptiness, depression, and suicidal thoughts. I found self-realization and a spiritual connection with my Creator. As you read this book, you will find practical applications to develop new thought patterns while building self-confidence and acceptance. You will learn to love your uniqueness and beauty, improve your overall well-being, and understand the magnificence of your soul while completing God's purpose for your life.

By practicing meditation, we become conscious of our thoughts and emotions. We also learn to differentiate between reality and fiction. With clear minds, we can separate positive from negative, right from wrong, true from false, and eternal from temporary. This is instrumental in developing awareness and acceptance. We are living in the present — and not in the past or future. In the present moment, we have control of our lives, and we can set in motion our aspirations, dreams, and hopes for better lives.

By practicing yoga postures, we can feel a special connection with Mother Nature. We refine our awareness and physical sensations by using our bodies as instruments to process the world around us through seeing, hearing, touching, smelling, and tasting. When the body is healthy, we can establish a natural rhythm and synchronicity with the environment while enjoying good health and peace of mind.

By practicing spiritual laws, we can define the purpose and reason for our existence. My experience with yoga goes beyond practicing a certain religion or set of beliefs with dos and don'ts. It is about establishing a personal relationship with the Creator. Our souls connect with the universal energy that sustains all living creatures. When guided by spiritual truths, we eliminate fear, doubt, and regret. We become the full expression of ourselves when love, joy, peace, hope, and faith motivate us. We become grounded in our relationships with the Divine.

No matter how difficult your circumstances are today, you were born with a purpose and a destiny that only you can fulfill. Your life is unique and special. Only you can complete God's creation as you choose to manifest his glory. On our journeys, we develop awareness of the ultimate plan for our lives. All our past and present experiences bring us to this special moment in time to fulfill our destinies.

I would like to share my story and the events that brought me to my knees. With tears and humility, I asked for God's mercy. I had no answers. All my education, professional accomplishments, family relationships, and my will to become successful could not carry me through the tragedy of my divorce. That was the breaking point. I totally surrendered to my Creator and devoted my existence to his glory.

My Birth

I was born in Mexico. My father and mother met while attending medical school in Mexico City. They fell madly in love and married at a very early age. My father was twenty-one, and my mother was twenty. Since they were raised Catholic, birth control was not an option. I was conceived during their honeymoon.

From the instant I was born, I had to fight through life. My mother's pregnancy had complications in the seventh month, and I needed to go out into the world as soon as possible. An emergency C-section had to be performed because I was bridged, which added to the complication of my delivery.

I barely weighed five pounds. My health was very fragile, and my appearance was more like a prune than a plum. I was wrinkled and emaciated. The doctors were very concerned for my health and knew there was a chance I would not make it. However, my mother saw me in a different light. She said I was the most beautiful baby her eyes had ever seen.

I believe her love inspired me to hold onto life and muster the desire to survive. I had to make a choice: give up on my existence and let myself go or fight with all my strength and will. I chose the latter, claimed my place on this earth, and fulfilled my destiny.

It is amazing to observe newborns as they begin to breathe, eat, laugh, cry, smile, and eliminate toxins. These human functions are performed instinctively to perfection without even having read a manual. Our connection to a universal intelligence guides us to unleash those survival instincts from day one.

Regardless of environment, family makeup, financial situation, or social circumstances, human interactions with the world are the same. We assess the environment with our minds, experience the world with our physical senses, and evolve spiritually through our souls. The choice about how to live is ours alone.

I am the master of my mind, the creator of my life, and the driver of my soul. My connection to the Divine has provided me with everything I need to live a prosperous and successful life — no matter the conditions of my external circumstances.

When we come into this world, we are very loud and clear. With our first cries, we tell everyone that we are here to stay. The world will never be the same. As soon as I was out of the womb, the doctors placed me in an incubator. I was fed intravenously until I gained enough weight to be placed under my mother's care. I ate so much that I was fully recovered within a couple of months. Nobody would have guessed I had complications at birth.

My Childhood Years

During my early childhood, I was afflicted with asthma. This condition limited my physical activities outside the home. My father did his residency in one of the hospitals in Mexico City, the smog and pollution from the cars were heavy. I stayed indoors as much as possible to control my environment.

I could go outdoors on smoggy days in a white shirt, and it would soon be covered with black smog particles. With the slightest effort, I would run out of breath quickly. I used to sit outside my window and wish things were different. I wanted to play ball, ride my bike, run in the playground, or swim in the pool. I wondered why I wasn't normal like the rest of the boys in my neighborhood.

Since I had to stay indoors a majority of the time, I developed a vivid imagination. My favorite toy — G.I. Joe — had a cord in the middle of his chest. When I pulled it, he would say, "I am ready for the mission to free our soldiers."

I understood instinctively that my mind could comfort me despite the limits of my surroundings and physical condition. My vivid imagination and visualizations changed the way I felt about myself. My soul was filled with courage. I knew my circumstances would change for the better someday.

I transported myself to a dreamland, and I was invincible. I had no physical limitations. I was full of strength and vigor, and I always enjoyed success in my affairs. I lived vicariously through my toys, and those were the happiest moments of my childhood. I felt like the whole world was mine — and I was part of it.

My health improved with time, and I went to elementary school like the rest of the boys in my neighborhood. I loved going to school because it gave me an opportunity to get out of the house and play with my friends. As I developed physically, mentally, and emotionally, my asthma attacks were less frequent. I took medication and used a breathing machine to clear my lungs of mucus whenever I suffered an episode.

When I turned eight, my father finished his specialization as an ob-gyn. He wanted to return to Panama and establish his practice in the small town he grew up in. After many discussions with my grandparents and other relatives, he decided to move our family to Panama. My father, my mother, my two sisters, and I moved to a foreign land to begin a new life.

I had mixed emotions because I loved where we lived and the friends I had made along the way. However, there was something exciting about moving to a different place. I would get to know other relatives and make new friends.

My father bought a new Pontiac Firebird. It took almost a week to drive from Mexico City to Panama City. We drove almost fourteen hours a day and spent the nights in hotels. We only brought our suitcases; the rest of our belongings were shipped by sea.

In retrospect, I had mixed emotions. I couldn't tell my parents how I felt about the move. I had the feeling that my life would never be the same. In fact, that experience had a monumental impact by teaching me how nothing is permanent.

During childhood, our parents made all the major decisions. They chose the school we attended, the clothes we wore, the food we ate, the friends we associated with, and the activities we engaged in. The only thing we had control over was how we processed and reacted to our circumstances.

Our minds play a key role in how we interpret our circumstances. We can see them as opportunities for growth and evolution or curses filled with failure and disappointment. Human nature wants to be in control of all situations and decisions so we can feel safe. Nobody can say with certainty that tomorrow is guaranteed.

We all have great dreams and hopes for tomorrow, but we don't always know how to bring them into reality. When we realize that our lives are guided by divine design, we develop higher consciousness and see beyond our external circumstances. The key is to align our free will with our divine purpose. If we do, every experience in our lives will be an opportunity for personal growth and development.

Puberty

In Panama, our relatives were waiting for us with open arms. After several days with our cousins, my family and I traveled to my dad's hometown. My father was hired to work in the local government hospital, which was named in honor of my grandfather for his service to the community. My father also opened a private practice. Life was unfolding well, according to my parents' plan.

The town was very small; there were probably no more than 25,000 people. Everyone welcomed us with open arms, which made the transition less traumatic. However, I felt scared and powerless to stop the changes from occurring. I wanted to go back to my familiar surroundings because they were comfortable and secure. My life had been turned upside down.

I enrolled in second grade. I soon developed new friendships and got acquainted with my new surroundings. My situation was becoming more comfortable and pleasant. I adapted quickly to my new routine. Things went back to normal for me.

I became more active and involved in outdoor activities. I rode my bicycle everywhere. I considered myself Christopher Columbus, exploring the new land. I was ready to conquer any challenge. I played soccer, baseball, and tennis, and I swam on a regular basis. My new home offered me plenty of opportunities and activities to enjoy.

The temperature was always between 65 and 95 degrees Fahrenheit. There was no smog or heavy pollution. In addition, the Pacific Ocean was only twenty minutes from our house by car. We were living in the country, but we enjoyed all the urban amenities, including restaurants, shops, movie theaters, parks, and sports fields.

There was so much green and beauty everywhere. I felt like I had moved to the jungle. We were living on two acres of land and had a big yard with all sorts of tropical trees. I was amazed to walk outside and pick fresh mangoes, oranges, lemons, cherries, papayas, and coconuts.

My mother tended the garden and made beautiful flower arrangements with roses, azaleas, gardenias, and many other indigenous flowers.

Along with the greenery, all sorts of tropical insects, bugs, frogs, squirrels, birds, mosquitoes, cockroaches, and snakes made our yard their permanent home. My parents bought us a beautiful German shepherd. He was a faithful companion and my best friend. No matter how difficult my day was, he never failed to meet me with a big smile, wagging his tail and jumping up and down.

My dog used to roam around the yard and play outside all the time. When I woke up one Sunday morning, I couldn't find him. I noticed that the front gate was open, and I imagined the worst. I went out to the street, and he was dead on the shoulder. He had been hit by a car.

My beautiful dog was gone, and I missed him so much. It was my first experience with the death of a loved one, and I felt powerless that I couldn't do anything to bring him back. As time went on, I decided to honor his memory by keeping him always in my heart. The experience shaped my character and outlook on life.

My new environment gave me the chance to connect with nature and appreciate God's creations. Sometimes we are blinded by our own little problems, desires, and agendas. We can't see the forest for the trees. It is difficult to observe the beauty that surrounds us when we are controlled by our problems and misfortunes.

My interactions with nature would remind me that I was part of the world and one of God's creations. A higher power created this magnificent place and everything in it. I don't have to know how it all works to enjoy its beauty. I only need to be grateful for my time on earth and make the most of it.

My new life in Panama improved my health and allowed me to experience many beautiful moments that I treasure. I was very fortunate to embrace the plan for my life and see beyond my comfort zone. Happiness and joy are personal choices — regardless of external circumstances.

The circumstances and challenges of today will bring the spiritual, mental, and physical transformation we are desperately longing for.

We must not blame anyone for the outcomes of our lives and play the victim card. On the contrary, we must be strong and courageous. If we persevere, we will find blessings and happiness around the corner.

My Teen Years

I told my dad that I wanted to attend a prestigious Catholic high school in Panama City, which was run by priests. It was a tradition in my dad's family for all the males to attend that upper-class school.

When I was twelve, I moved to Panama City to live with my grandmother. My hometown was approximately 150 miles away. Every three weeks, I would come home for the weekend. Fortunately, two of my first cousins attended the high school. They helped me navigate the system and became like my brothers. We did everything together.

The changes were not as traumatic, but that chapter would play a transformative role in my pursuit of a mind-body-soul connection. The schoolwork was very demanding, and with all my extracurricular activities, there wasn't much time for anything else during the week.

After school, my cousins and I went back to the school grounds and played sports: soccer, tennis, basketball, and swimming. Two evenings a week, we practiced martial arts to develop discipline and self-defense skills. This practice commanded the respect of the other boys at the high school. Fortunately we avoided many fights at school because of our karate training.

During the weekends, if I didn't go home, we would go to parties, the beach, or the movies. Sometimes we would go roller skating with our girlfriends. Life was good and full of activities and things to do. We killed time and dulled our minds; we had not a care in the world.

Our teen years were formative. We developed character, self-esteem, and our identities as a human being. We tried to understand our places in the world. We figured out our tastes in clothes. We selected our friendships. However, we were cautious and afraid to make mistakes. We played it safe, living by the roles and expectations set by family and friends. We took the path of least resistance and the safest one for our minds. We were on automatic pilot.

We desperately wanted to express our opinions and make our own choices, but we found ourselves silenced by our fears and doubts. My mind was filled with questions. I wanted direction and meaning. What is my purpose and reason for living? Who am I? Why am I here? Why is life so hard? Can I change this one thing about my life? These questions bred more confusion and chaos, and they multiplied like wildflowers.

I opted for the easy way out to conform to society, and I paid a very high price. I let insecurity, mediocrity, and low self-esteem control my life. Living with personal convictions was unpopular and risky.

We must celebrate our talents, be individuals, and contribute to the world. No two people are alike. When we love and accept ourselves fully, we can use our talents, skills, and aptitudes to make our marks on the canvas of life.

Many people spend their entire lives trying to become somebody else. They compromise their values and quench the fire in their souls for the sake of imitation and conformity. It's no surprise that so many people suffer identity crises.