Poetic Therapy For A Sistah's Soul is a compilation of poetry and random thoughts about love, life, and all that craziness in between. For me it was my release, a form of therapy as I was going through a life change, i.e. divorce. It kept me from acting out and busting folk windows, and setting folk on fire-stuff like that . . . Praise God! Yes I do believe everybody has a story, but more importantly every woman has a voice, and needs and wants to be heard. I hope this book makes you laugh, prompts you to think about things a little differently and gives you some inspiration. I hope it encourages you to open your mouth, to find your way to express how you feel about the people and things the affect you down to the bone, and know it's okay. Don't hang on to stuff, release it and find your happy. I encourage you to keep God first, pray, and get yourself together mentally and physically because you are your #1 advocate in love, life, and all that craziness in between . . . BOOM! Words, thoughts, ideas put in some form or order I crave something to free me to soothe my soul I need to express what I think and what I feel I pray these words help me heal I do find some relief in what I write random thoughts put to paper a little humor, a little truth and in some a little spite . . . uumm remember, I am a woman but I do believe at the end of the day as random as my words may be they too express what you feel what you think, afraid even or can't seem to say

POETIC THERAPY FOR A SISTAH'S SOUL

By Kay Cook

AuthorHouse

Copyright © 2012 Kay Cook
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4685-4868-6

Contents

ON ONE Life.............................................11ON TWO Women, We Are Something Else.....................111ON THREE Know Thyself First.............................129ON FOUR Some Other Thangs...............................139ON FIVE Love and All That...............................153ON SIX Mister Man.......................................179ON SEVEN The Great Walk Away............................189

Chapter One

Life

In as much as it seems history repeats itself life still is ever-changing and so we must learn to adapt accordingly. Women today, we don't look at or handle like situations the way our momma's did—okay, sometimes we do have to go a little old school but for the most part tricks of the trade have evolved as they should. I'm sure in a few years our daughters will say the same. But, we still gotta teach these young girls some thangs. To be honest, I can't wait until my girls are grown and are calling to share their experiences, in part so I can say, "yup, been there before honey" but really so I can ask "did you have to bring out Set It Off Momma, or Jesus is the Lord Momma?" You know, we all have stories of how our momma's had to wreck camp and act a fool or if she just said, "we're gonna let God handle this." (oh so it was just my momma? LOL). At any rate, the one thing in life we all want is to be happy—whatever your happy is-happy in love, happy in family, happy in happy and there's nothing wrong with that. Live and enjoy your life-I know I am. I'm skipping along on Happy Trail and I hope it never comes to an end. Life is God's gift to us-to you! Life is wide open and waiting for you to make your mark and I have a feeling you're going to do great things. Okay lemme keep it real, some of you won't. Hey! It takes all kinds to make the world go 'round LOL.

When you get stuck in a mindset that you need this man or woman to make you happy, you are then relinquishing control of your life to someone else. You start to convince yourself that you can't make a move or a decision without them. Or, you've gotta do this or that for them because you know it makes them happy thereby convincing yourself that it makes you happy. Key words: you and need.

O'Kay #1: True happiness begins with being at peace with who you are and having respect for yourself. Stop obsessing over someONE making you happy. If you're happy they can only compliment your happiness.... kinda like an accessory.

More often than not you've given me great pleasure
though we've had our share of ups and downs
yes we've suffered some bumps and bruises
some by mistake and well some, intentional
We've made memories neither of us will forget
you introduced me to some people
we did some things that will definitely stay between us
haha you know what I mean?
You're a school that always has a lesson planned
that no one ever graduates
you come with rules and regulations
a great Instruction manual that to be honest
until lately I didn't devote the time I should have
and yes, at times I took you so for granted
handled you a bit recklessly
but still, we partied and celebrated in 1999
and beyond ... I am grateful for you
and if it's God's will I'll continue to
embrace you, appreciate you, continue to grow
because I'm truly in love with you
you ... are ... LIFE!

Without realizing or even missing a beat, and as sure as the sun rises and sets we orchestrate the symphony that is "our life." We strum along to melodic, easy and sometimes dramatic tunes that give our lives song. Some of us find great ease in playing by ear while many of us require lessons in class or otherwise; nonetheless, we dance to the beat of a different drummer moving on and on, grooving with it as time passes often 'til the break, break, break of dawn.

Tick-Tock

Time waits on no one
the tick-tock goes on and on
surely you know this is true
Love they say is blind and sweet
Poetic Therapy For A Sistah's Soul
it's also optional ... a choice
you freely choose if it's for you
Life is a treasure and for some
a never-ending treasure hunt
of discovery
of pain and disappointment, of love
of surprise, joy, and pleasure
but more importantly, of self!
hhmm, but if you could turn back
the hands of time which button would you hit
RE-play or RE-wind?
No sweetie, the two are not the same
as one says I like the way it was and is
the other
there are things I can and should do differently
things I'd change
the point my dear is not about regret
but about the promise of an abundant life
you haven't lived yet


My Mountain

As I prepare to climb my Mountain
I stay focused on the Purpose:
to purge past hurts, to forgive
myself as well as others
to release fear and failures
to release hopes and dreams into the atmosphere
and just, at least in my mind
extend my physical reach slightly closer to God
and ... just ... exhale
so as I prepare for what just may be
the toughest challenge of my life so
I stand at the foot, stare and study
this tremendous structure
I release a huge sigh because I've been here
and backed down many times before
today though feels different, no turning back
it's time to face my fears
find my inner strength and courage
oh today is the day
I conquer My Mountain
so here goes ...
you see where my grip is here?
it's full of gossip about me
oh, and that one over there
it's full of "she ain't gonna do nothing but dream"
oohh honey, and if you look around here
where my right foot is, it's full of
"I love you's and I would never hurt you's"
but somehow always did-umph, and this grip here
it's kinda special, I'm gonna etch a heart around it
It's full of love, encouragement
and constructive criticism from those I know
love me genuinely and unconditionally
this one right here where my right hand is, well
this grip, it's full of "daddy pain"
I thought I'd let go of years ago ... guess not
but this one right here ... wow
if you could put your hand on it
is where I hurt you
said or did some things I
shouldn't have ...
where I didn't love you right
where I didn't give you the respect you deserved
and, I'm very sorry
well I'm at the top
and it feels so good to let all of that go
from this day forward
I choose to acknowledge my wrongs
to forgive quickly, to love earnestly, to live happily
because this climb, though tough
was about the freeing of me
accepting responsibility
dropping the baggage
leaving the right wrong people
soothing the right pain and hurt
this climb was about me
reconnecting with my spiritual self
prioritizing people and things
aagghh I can breathe again
what a release to just let it all go!
Suddenly, I'm at peace at the top
of My Mountain
I've climbed, conquered, and am conceding
to a new life, love, and all that may come

O'Kay#2: You've got to have a vision for your life ... don't just exist!

Your life does have a purpose and you do have something to offer the world. There's something growing inside of you waiting to be birthed. Who or what is your mountain? Is it procrastination, fear, a man or a woman? What is it that you think you're lacking to get you to where you need to be? You can't prepare to take that climb if you can't figure out what it is that's keeping you from living your life as you want or following your dream, no matter how small or big that dream is. Are you truly more than a conqueror? Then I'ma need you to get to conquering. I understand your fear, especially when it's about doing something out of the norm. If you have any Jesus about you I know you know that God has not given you a spirit of fear. Here's what I've come to realize, when you believe that God has given you something, that thing will tug at you so you'll begin to feel disobedient and it will bother you something awful until you do it. I don't care if it takes years God is gonna let that thing marinate in your soul until it's good and tender and you just gotta put it on the grill. Your enjoyment will come as your belly is filled with the savory juices of just doing it, and that's a great accomplishment in and of itself.

I pray you know God is with you. Learn to speak to Him and with Him, and you'll learn to recognize His voice ... it's beautiful, it's calming, it's respectful ... it's soft and trust it can be quite commanding. And that's exactly the way you should have your boo speak to you at all times.

Believe in your Dreams

Don't stop believing in your dreams
even when people tell you
"dreams don't come true"
don't hold on to your gift-share it
that's what God wants you to do
don't give a second thought to the notion
that you won't succeed, that you won't make it
keep your eye on the prize, cling to your faith
don't buy into the nonsense that you gotta fake it
Take your time, be patient
there's no need to rush or feel stuck
God's timing is perfect has nothing to do with luck
so for those who can't offer anything
positive or encouraging to say
don't get mad or discouraged
just pray them away

A Love Story

A few years back we, my now ex-husband and kids were returning home from a family visit. The entire weekend I had this question spinning in my head that I wanted to ask him. So I got up the nerve and asked him, "where do you see yourself in five years?" He responded, "where do you see yourself in five years?" I said, "well I hope my invention is in stores, and I hope my greeting cards do well. I hope something takes off for me." He then says, "don't you think you're too old to dream?" I answered, "no, you're never too old to dream." ('sides, my momma said I could do it!-that's what I was saying in my head). He goes on, "don't you think it's time for your kids to dream? You should've done all of this stuff in your 20s." So, looking back at my kids thinking-dem jokahs ain't trying to dream about nothing but stopping at McDonalds.

The End

Chapter Two

Women, We Are Something Else

Women are some of the smartest, beautiful, gifted, authentic, creative and loving beings God ever created-we just don't always believe it. But honey, when that day comes—watch out world! This journey of womanhood is truly never-ending ... THANK GOD!! It's as if women give life its character and drama. How awesome is it to discover, and in some cases rediscover just how smart, beautiful, gifted, authentic, creative and loving you are. Isn't it great to finally realize you don't need anyone to validate (insert your name here)? I challenge you to step up and be the example of the woman who takes a chance on life, love, and all that craziness in between so that you can be fulfilled and happy. It starts in the mind! So get your mind set on getting some things done! Go get that degree or certification, start your own business, write that book or play, become the next Oprah! Who's gonna stop you boo?! Who?!

Another Love Story

When I decided I wanted a divorce, I stood in my living room and thought, "God, is this it? I know there's more to me. I don't think you gave me those things to just talk about, but if you're telling me that I'm a wife, a mother, and I need to continue this day to day gig then ok. If you're telling me to put all of my ideas for inventions, for writing, for starting a business-all of my dreams aside and just be wife, mommy, and employee then cool." I promise you in that day and many that followed God showed me some thangs and thus, I bounced! It was a heavy situation but I was determined to do the things I felt God had placed on my heart to do, and I couldn't do that in that relationship. I owed it to God! To my children! To ... myself!

The End

O'Kay#3: Throughout this book there are some things mentioned that may hurt your feelings, you may agree or disagree, or you may think unfair or harsh. I really don't care ... you need to hear these things and besides, what you 'gon do boo? LOL I loves you doh!

Tall Glass of Woman

I am a tall glass of woman
this I've come to know
I no longer need a song, or a book
and especially a man to tell me so
Though it took me some time
these feelings to reconcile
feelings of who I truly AM ...
rather than fit your profile
BEAUTIFUL, though you say UGLY
STRONG, though you say WEAK
SMART, though you say STUPID
NECESSARY, though you say USELESS
COMPLETE, though you say I'm NOTHING without you
I am a tall glass of woman
there's no one else I'd rather be
and I won't let you or anyone else
tell me differently


Mirror Therapy

That mirror on the wall ain't no joke
it very often sees what you refuse to see
aagh, you don't get it
that mirror on the wall ain't no joke!
It very often sees what you REFUSE to see
but not what you can't
That mirror on the wall
comes in all shapes and sizes
and more importantly it tells no tales
reveals plenty even through disguises
It is therapy if you will that calls into view
one's true self
the bare-assed nakedness that is YOU!
That mirror on the wall is the center of attention
it is your reality ... check
That mirror on the wall I'm tellin you ain't no joke!
Even with its smudges and smears
no matter the angle its reflection
speaks loud and clear
revealing all that from others
you tried to hide, all you could not
see, feel, or hear otherwise
like your truths, your lies
your failures your cries
like, your joys your pains
your brokenness and yes, even your shame
like your denials your dreams
your earnest desire to be loved girl
when you spend a little time
in that mirror on the wall
it'll reveal so much but know
you are the only one
who can be the fairest of them all.

Mirror therapy is a technique I use when I need to have an honest conversation with me, myself and I. I get real with me. I can't embellish the reality of the person standing in front of that mirror. It helps me focus on what I say are my "truths" and whatever it is I have going on in this beautiful head of mine. For me, the best thing about it is thoughts can be completed without interruption, judgement, or any other hang-ups. It's good to have that one on one with yourself-a face to face, hard-knock life reality check on the good, the bad, and the ugly of you. It gives new meaning to check yourself before you wreck yourself.

O'Kay#4: Okay, here's how it really went down ... basically I was having a nervous breakdown ... foh real! I was going through a divorce, I have 25 kids (okay 5, but when it's more than 2 it's like 25). Things were a little crazy. I was like, what is um 'gon do Lord?! I had all of the what ifs, and I wish I had done this, wish I had done that going on and was boo-hoo'n! Nerves just bad! So I'm drying off, staring at myself in the mirror thinking, crying, praying and checking myself out too (I'm a lil' cute) and that actually turned out to be very therapeutic for me. So there!

We are all "sistahs" and I don't care if you're black, white, peach, or yellow. You are my kindred sistah ... my girl! I want you to know that we're not all that different. You are not the only mother, sister, daughter, girlfriend, cousin, niece ... sinter or saint going through some thangs. I know it seems as if you're alone but I can promise you that is far from the truth. You are not the only sistah loving a man who doesn't love you back. You are not the only sistah in a marriage trying to decide if you should stay or go. You are not the only sistah struggling, taking care of kids and a household on your own. You are not the only sistah who is feeling lost—even at this very moment, you're not. We all have the same issues in life, love and all that craziness in between. Heart-break doesn't discriminate. BS doesn't discriminate. Drama doesn't discriminate. And men don't ... wait, some of them do but you should really be over that by now and if you're not uumm pledge to start today I mean really, who cares?

I Call You Sistah

I call you sistah though by blood we're no kin
'cause I can relate to many of the situations
you've been in
and I want you to know you're not alone
I want you to know all you've been through
all you're going through is nothing unique to just you
there's a Katie, Tasha, Angie, a Renee
there's a Kendra, a Melody, a Shay who
when you share your story hits them like déjà vu;
Yeah, the tears you shed
for one reason or another have journeyed
down their face, mine too for that matter
so again I want you to know
all you've been through or are going through
is nothing unique to you
Oh, you may think it to not be true
but hear these words ... I too am you
honey there's a Nesha, Terri, a Kathy
a Sally, Jackie, Tan, Vanessa and even a Sue
all of whom can relate to aaallll that ails you
Love, heartbreak, doubt have no name
they got one thing in common
and that's running game
depression, guilt and shame
not only bear your name
so again, I want you to know
all you've been through or are going through
is nothing unique to you

(Continues...)

Excerpted from POETIC THERAPY FOR A SISTAH'S SOULby Kay Cook Copyright © 2012 by Kay Cook. Excerpted by permission of AuthorHouse. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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