PEACE, POWER, and a SOUND MIND

Balboa Press

Contents

Prologue.................................................................................IXChapter 1. Understanding Addiction.......................................................1Chapter 2. Addiction: A Family Affair....................................................15Chapter 3. Toxic Relationships...........................................................26Chapter 4. Addiction to Anger............................................................37Chapter 5. The Healing Process...........................................................46Chapter 6. Alcoholics Anonymous..........................................................56Chapter 7. Healing Neurochemical Imbalances through Holistic Methods.....................69Chapter 8. Healing with Yoga.............................................................73Chapter 9. Conscious Breathing: The Cornerstone for Health...............................78Chapter 10. Meditation for the Quiet Mind................................................82Chapter 11. Guided Imagery...............................................................89Chapter 12. The Power of Affirmation.....................................................94Chapter 13. Auricular Acupuncture........................................................98Chapter 14. Is Relapse a Necessary Part of Recovery?.....................................105Conclusion...............................................................................112Bibliography.............................................................................115

Chapter One

"We cannot understand anything until we accept it. Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses." —Carl Jung

During the past fifteen years, working in the field of addictions, I have witnessed many clients enter treatment wanting and expecting to find a way to turn their lives around. Instead, in many cases, they have been given a psychiatric diagnosis and prescribed heavy-duty medications that made them feel worse than when they started.

When we go to a doctor or a hospital for help, we put our trust in those healthcare providers, many times without question. We are not taught as a society to participate in our healthcare or to partner with our physicians in our treatment. Western medicine is primarily based on treatment of the symptoms, not treatment of the underlying problems. It was with this understanding that I created a program that combines the wisdom and structure of the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous with self-empowering holistic methods.

By embracing the holistic practices that I cover in this book, I have witnessed numerous clients recover and maintain long-term sobriety, as well as physical, mental, and emotional health. I have seen them accomplish recovery with limited or no use of psychotropic medications. It takes thought and willingness to engage in practices outside of our comfort zones. When making lifestyle changes, such as practicing yoga, developing healthy eating habits, or exploring meditation, we've got to understand that the results are not always immediate. With persistence and consistency, a person can obtain health, and balance in all areas of their life.

Because people with addictions are used to seeking and acquiring immediate gratification, lack of commitment to their own health and wellness and to necessary lifestyle changes is perhaps the number-one reason for their lack of success. It is important to learn that we are all responsible for our own physical, emotional, and mental health. My goal is to teach people different methods of healing and allow them to choose the methods that they most enjoy and find most effective. I have found that when people are involved in their own treatment plans and given options from which to choose, their rates of success increase tremendously.

Alcoholic Anonymous is one of the most successful methods of arriving at sobriety for people addicted to alcohol and other substances. Perhaps this is true because, in the field of addictions, the modalities of treatment are very limited. AA's success is in large part due to the fellowship and peer support it offers. This is invaluable when people are in the early stages of recovery and have to learn to socialize without the use of substances. Working with an AA sponsor allows people to engage in introspection that is vital for behavioral changes.

Another powerful component of AA is that it provides accountability to another person or group of peers. Peer and social acceptance are significant needs for most people in all stages of their lives. This is the premise on which Dr. Bob Smith and Bill Wilson founded Alcoholics Anonymous many years ago. They found that when alcoholics talk to other alcoholics, they understand one another. They feel accepted, can talk through their problems, and can hold each other accountable.

Although AA has its strong points, it also has its limitations. Some of these limitations include the idea that people must be labeled as addicts or alcoholics for life and must attend meetings on a consistent basis forever in order to remain sober. This limits the idea of personal empowerment and internal strength that holistic methods offer.

Also, the concepts of Alcoholics Anonymous are based on Christianity. For some people, this is certainly a strong point, but for others it is a stumbling block. Although the Big Book of AA (AA's guiding text) includes a chapter called "We Agnostics" and attempts to embrace all belief systems, it can be argued that the program's basic structure is fundamentally religious. Steps one through three encourage the idea of powerlessness of the self over alcohol, and the need for redemption by God or a higher power. Steps four and five are based on the Christian ideas of focusing on one's "sins," or character defects, and the concept of confessing one's sins to another human being. The remaining steps include the principles of dying to oneself and being reborn a new person, and the ecclesiastic idea of spreading the "gospel." I'm not saying this religious structure is bad thing; I am just saying that it doesn't work for everyone.

There is a difference between religion and spirituality. Religion is a set of doctrines, rules, and guidelines within which one worships. Spirituality is a relationship with one's higher self or guiding principles. Spirituality can include a deity outside oneself, but it doesn't have to.

Spirituality is a main component of recovery for many people. This is primarily because, through addictions and co-occurring disorders, it is common for people to lose their sense of self and to develop an identity based on shame. In many cases, people's sense of shame is their core issue. This means that they are drinking, taking drugs, or participating in self-destructive behaviors in order to mask the shame that they feel.

Sometimes, shame is a result of religious abuse in people's lives. If someone has participated in and been taught a religion that is fear-based at its core, they often feel resentful and angry towards religion in general. If this is the case, opening up to the idea of the Twelve Steps may be difficult or even impossible, at least in the beginning. Finding their individual spiritual path is a primary source of healing for such people. Many of the holistic methods covered in this book will lead one to the quiet mind and to one's true and authentic self. This resonates deeply with many people and becomes their spiritual path.

As society's concepts of spirituality change, treatment must accept and accommodate these ideas. Combining the Western concepts of spirituality espoused in AA's Twelve Steps with the Eastern philosophies of many holistic practices can offer a very well-rounded and balanced approach to treatment, one in which people can express their individuality and choose what empowers them the most.

People enter into recovery seeking peace of mind. While it is true that people cannot recover from the disease of addiction without a willing heart and mind, this is not typically the state in which they enter treatment. Instead, people usually enter treatment because others in their lives are seeking peace of mind because of the chaos and pain created by the addiction. Addicted people enter treatment because they have been given an ultimatum by their loved ones, by the court, or by their employers.

Sometimes, people do come to treatment because they are tired of all the physical, emotional, legal, financial, mental, and social consequences of their addictions. In other words, they are sick and tired of being sick and tired.

For our purposes, alcoholism and addiction are the same thing; the words are interchangeable. Addiction to alcohol, drugs, and even certain behaviors, such as anger, criminal behavior, sex, and food, occurs in the brain. Addiction of any kind is driven by the release of endorphins in the brain brought on by the drug or behavior and the compulsive need to repeat the behavior in order to feel comfortable or normal. However, as addiction progresses, the end result becomes more and more uncomfortable and even painful.

From the addicts' perspectives, they are using the objects of their addictions to feel better, and all behavior is about feeling better. It seems that the more their lives begin to fall apart because of the addiction, the more tightly the addiction grips them. Because the addiction is their primary way of coping with life, they are terrified of living without it. A recovery process that involves both the Twelve Steps and self-empowering holistic methods teaches people to unlearn self-destructive thoughts and behaviors and relearn new, more effective ways of living.

Definition

Let's begin with a basic understanding of addiction. Addiction can be defined as a pathological, love and trust relationship with a chemical, person, object, or behavior. The behavior is pathological because it is obsessive, compulsive, and maladaptive in nature. In other words, it isn't good for you, and it creates chaos in your life. It is characterized in terms of love and trust because addicts know that when they drink, take the drug, or participate in the behavior, they will have an immediate, positive payoff or sense of relief.

Addiction is a relationship because it becomes part of every facet of people's lives: who they choose to be friends with, where they go, how they celebrate, how they relax, how they cope with stress, and so forth. When we look at this definition, we can see that one can be addicted to many things besides alcohol or drugs. One can be addicted to anger, food, sex, certain people, gambling, or shopping. People can even be addicted to the addiction itself; in other words, sometimes people are addicted to the sense of powerlessness that identifying themselves as "addicts" creates. Often, loved ones in the addicts' lives become so vested into trying to control or stop the addiction that they become addicted to the drama and insanity the addiction creates. When life becomes balanced, or "normal," this becomes strange and uncomfortable, even boring.

When people have an addiction, they are unable to resist the compulsion to take the drug, drink the alcohol, or participate in the behavior, even when anticipating negative consequences. They will experience physical or psychological withdrawal symptoms if abruptly deprived of the chemical or the behavior. For instance, people who are addicted to anger will feel very uncomfortable when learning to accept irritations without angry or controlling behaviors. Sometimes people will experience stomach pains, shortness of breath, or the sensation of tightness across the temples when learning to respond in a manner that is new and inconsistent with their habitual nature. Remember, all behavior is about feeling better, so acting contradictory to what feels better is very difficult.

When people are withdrawing from drugs or alcohol, they often feel nauseated, irritable, and discontent. Their natural coping method is to drink or use drugs, and they know that if they do, they will immediately feel better, even if the feeling is temporary and will be followed by negative consequences. The urge to use to feel better is so powerful that the behavior becomes compulsive. An understanding of addiction, a desire to change the behavior, and a strong support system are all vital to people in treatment and recovery.

Addiction, whether chemical or behavioral, works on a continuum. Since addiction is progressive in nature, even the mildest forms of addiction can, without intervention, lead to serious dependence, illness, or perhaps even death.

Stages

Addiction to chemicals begins with the primary stage of occasional, recreational use. Not everyone who uses alcohol or drugs is dependent on them. Some people become dependent on substances more quickly and easily than other people. That said, anyone who uses mind-altering, mood-altering substances for long enough and in enough quantity will develop a tolerance and will become dependent on them. Stemming from different causes, addiction to behaviors will also follow a continuum and create chaos and pain in one's life.

The next stage of the continuum of addiction is the progressive stage. In this stage, people become more preoccupied with how to obtain the drug and how they will feel when they use it. Most social functions become centered around drinking or drug use. Friendships and peer groups begin to change. Family members and friends begin to see behavioral changes. These changes may include sleeping more or less, poor appetite and eating habits, and lack of attention to hygiene and personal appearance. Mood swings may also become more pronounced.

The progressive stage of addiction is characterized by obsession and compulsion. People may try to change their drinking or using patterns. They may tell themselves, "I'll only have a couple of drinks," only to find that once they start drinking or using they cannot quit until they become intoxicated and embarrass themselves or pass out. During this stage of addiction, defense mechanisms become prevalent. People may begin to downplay or hide their drinking. Defensive behaviors become more common as friends and family become concerned and question the changes that they see.

Addicted people begin to experience blackouts, instances in which they wake up the next day not remembering what they said or did the night before. Blackouts often occur without intervals of unconsciousness. People are awake, talking, and behaving without being aware of what they are doing. The next day, they may have little or no memory of the experience. This creates embarrassment and, often, a deep sense of shame. Blackouts are signs that addiction is developing or progressing.

Addictions now begin to take on lives of their own. Peoples' lifestyles begin to break down. As the addicted lifestyle becomes more comfortable or ordinary to them, they are more likely to enter compromising situations. People may have encounters with the law, perhaps in the form of DWIs, public intoxication, or possession charges. Relationships begin to be taxed as addicted people begin to lie about drug or alcohol use. As the addiction progresses, people begin to lose more and more in their lives.

The next phase of the addiction is called the chronic stage. At this point, people are at a crossroads in their lives. What makes this stage so difficult is that the addiction is now in control. Addicted people have lost identification with their true selves; they now identify with their addiction. It is their world. They sometimes feel that if they use again they will die, and if they don't, they will die. They become trapped in endless cycles of denial, pain, and above all, shame. To deal with the shame, they begin the cycle of denial and use again. This cycle will repeat itself over and over again unless there is an intervention of some sort. Without intervention, either by the addict themselves or by someone else, the chronic stage of addiction will end in jail, or possibly even death.

Causes

The causes of addiction are difficult for most people to understand. Addiction is insidious because one of its chief characteristics is denial. Denial is different than lying. When people lie, they know they are lying. When people are in denial, they don't realize it. It seems that everyone around addicted people can clearly see what the addicts themselves cannot see. No one sets out to become addicted, and no one wants to be an addict. No one woke up one morning and said, "I think I want to be a drug addict," or, "I think I'd like to be an alcoholic." In fact, when people hear the terms "drug addict" or "alcoholic" in reference to themselves, they typically become offended and perhaps defensive, even if deep down they know there is a problem.

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Excerpted from PEACE, POWER, and a SOUND MINDby Rhonda S. McBride Copyright © 2011 by Rhonda S. McBride, PhD, LCDC. Excerpted by permission of Balboa Press. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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