I know I am not the first woman who has encountered defeat, belligerence, defiance, baffling opposition, unfounded court decisions and rulings in the legal justice system. And, I am sure I'm not the first woman to question whether there is an internal brotherhood/sisterhood among counsel" resulting in what I believe is unfair decisions, despite facts or findings" Legal Injustice shares the author's experiences dealing with attorneys in the local court system, ultimately leading her to the question: Does justice truly prevail? Jean Criss has more than 25 years of experience in the digital media industry and is now living her own dreams as an entrepreneur. Criss is the single mother of two teenagers and resides in northern, New Jersey. She designed and self-published Legal Injustice, drawing upon her full media experience.

My Pain Woke Me Up – Legal Injustice

A Survivor's Tale of Legal Injustice in Today's Social SocietyBy Jean Criss

AuthorHouse

Copyright © 2012 Jean Criss
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4772-8825-2

Contents

Dedication..................................................vPoetic Justice Story #1.....................................viiPoetic Justice Story #2.....................................ixDisclaimer..................................................xvOverview....................................................xviiPrologue....................................................xixChapter One Excruciating Circumstances......................1Chapter Two Reprieve / Remorse..............................7Chapter Three Determination.................................15Chapter Four Top Guns.......................................19Chapter Five Stop the Bleeding, Please!.....................24Chapter Six Pro se, Hey!....................................28Chapter Seven The Retainer Agreement........................37Chapter Eight EAP Resources.................................40Chapter Nine Ditch the Debt.................................43Chapter Ten Legal Injustice.................................47Poetic Justice Story #3.....................................51Poetic Justice Story #4.....................................55Poetic Justice Story #5.....................................56A Touching Story............................................58About the Author............................................61The End.....................................................65

Chapter One

Excruciating Circumstances

Yes, there were many excruciating circumstances. I was asked to think back of the personal experiences I had endured throughout my journey that brought me to this juncture, and I had to jot down relevant examples relating to our failed marriage.

The attorney's sat me down in their posh conference room, surrounded by hundred-year old law books, old enough to tell their own stories and then some. Once I gathered my cup of coffee, they sat me down and away we went. Honestly, I was wondering where the biscuits and crumpets were at these high priced fees. You see, even the initial consultation fee was an extravagant amount of money.

It was about $375 I recall, to determine if I was a "worthy client."

Typically something that would have been a no-charge appointment for some industries, considered a "pre-sales" assessment call. That expense was incurred for only an hour evaluation to determine if I deserved to be represented by this posh firm, known to be amongst the best in Morris County, New Jersey, or so I was told. While I was being evaluated by this firm to decide if they would "accept me" as their "new" client, I found it to be an interesting process. What actually happened was "`Money talks and bullshit walks,'" just like I was taught when I was a little girl. The only deserving assessment which unfolded was that my pocket-book led the way.

I was approached by a top-notch woman lawyer, a ruthless litigator, as I later learned, with thirty years in matrimonial divorce. Why wouldn't everyone want to hire her? I thought. Well, after the first invoice, I knew why. I poured my heart and soul out to these shameless people, and mostly, all I got in return was a lot of hullabaloo known to most as typical "BS", an uproar which started the meter ticking.

Yes, it ticked. Like a clock. Tick, tock. Tick, tock.

Till I then dropped with pure disappointment from the astonishment when five-digit figure bills soon started coming my way. It was utterly ridiculous. More than silly!

I felt so involved in the partnership, with a will to win and complete what I started, that all I could think about was the end result. But after months of documenting grueling example after example of extenuating circumstances, one after another, you have enough facts to build your own Fort Knox, and they just keep asking for more.

Then the court systems are so creative to postpone court dates, I pondered ... "Is this a conspiracy?"

Seriously?! Are they getting a percentage or kickback from these law firms to drag things out? The billing certainly racked up! I had to wonder after they began to deplete yours and your children's bank accounts, and after I've worked so hard and long after all these years, "Was this the plan after all?"

Once the firm gets to see your assets the bleeding begins and doesn't end there until your assets are depleted, at least a good certain percentage.

You're no further ahead- not satisfied with the court's outcome or with your counsel either.

So I pondered, was this planned or contrived? Who wouldn't think that? I was almost six-figures deep before it was time I gave this firm their very own Christmas present. I delivered their gift on Christmas Eve, and oh, what a joy it was to me. I let them go and decided to represent myself pro se till I could find the right counsel again. And then, I promptly filed arbitration for unjust and erroneous errors throughout the discourse of the marital filings. This firm never even got me divorced! In fact, they just ran up my bills to well over six figures, while I was sick with breast cancer, and just wanted to keep the billing rolling along endlessly without execution to my divorce. In fact, they claimed it would take at least another six months or more to settle – sure accordingly to their clock. For the best of the best in firms, they were a huge let-down, and I broke their so-called record of so many straight wins I suppose, since they never divorced me.

All I know is that I had a mess on my hands while I let them take the lead as any cancer patient would do, while I endured numerous breast surgeries and faced a tumultuous divorce, all at the same time.

Yes, they took full advantage of me straight away. The lead counsel was abrasive and righteous. The only person I liked there was a kind, polite, young associate. But as an upcoming junior associate, she had to follow through on directions and was exhausted, I'm sure.

That was so obvious. The senior partner was like the beast and the junior associate was the sunflower child, mannerly, effective and efficient. Hopefully, this associate has bloomed and opened up her own practice by now, to spread her deserving wings. She definitely learned the ropes with my case, put in her time, logged many hours, like most good associates do.

But as I got stronger, I took over. I realized I was being taken for a ride and so was my bank account! As sad and unjust as this was, it pissed away practically a year's salary in a short timeframe. I realized, then, there was no legal morality or justice out there. The phrase `equity and fairness' went to the wayside.

I learned on my own how to file for custody, pro se. It was not an easy negotiation by any stretch of the imagination. You might be thinking, why didn't we try mediation? Well we did but there was no discussion or room for negotiation – it was his way or the highway and I would not settle for that in the best interest of our children so I fought till I turned blue. I ended up representing myself again, two times, down the road, pro se, in court. No one teaches you these things. You just jump in and do what you know best. For me, that meant to be as prepared as I could be, like on any sales call, and have my research findings with me in court, as I did in client meetings, and hope for the best. In the court cases, you can't `go for the close' to synch the deal. Rather, simply best represent your facts and the judge determines your actionable next steps or the best outcome, in many cases.

Well, by now, I had excruciating mental anxieties, breast pain, and had presented the same excruciating circumstances and facts from a distraught marriage that went south, very fast. All I could hope for was the best outcome and a positive one indeed.

Chapter Two

Reprieve / Remorse

As the saying goes, people can only be forgiven for their sins if they are truly sorry for their misgivings. I know this man conceded numerous times that he was sorry for what he had done but sometimes, sorry just isn't enough. The apologies in life were just too late, overdue and under delivered.

My dad always told me, "Don't put off till tomorrow what you can do today."

And that holds true for many things in life as I experienced.

Though I had good reason to put off till tomorrow, and then tomorrow, and the next day, because my children meant the most to me, and I did not want to hurt them. And then being diagnosed with breast cancer has a way of allowing the word `procrastination' to sneak into your world as more important health issues took priority. However, it hurt me deeply that I had to break up our family unit, nonetheless, and I realized that even this old adage could hold true for personal as it did for business, so I proceeded and followed my gut and my heart.

Then, this smart law firm, on the other hand, never regretted what they did to me. No apology or sign of remorse. The only reprieve came months after I chose to take them to court, through arbitration proceedings, for all the legal mistakes I found they had made at my expense.

Oh sure, it added up all right - from my pocketbook to theirs but it wasn't right. Then it came time for the second chance. I was persuaded to put the divorce on hold. It seemed logical at first, and yet, I was still protected legally. I needed to keep my guard up with my spouse, as I was uncertain if our failing marriage could be saved.

My new attorney told me I could put the divorce "on hold" for twelve months, and if at any time during that twelve-month window I felt strongly that progress in the marriage was not being made, I could resume where we had left off, at no additional expense and re-file. This sounded so sweet!

So I did just that. I put it all on hold to deal with my health and our marriage all at the same time – yes, it was a lot on my plate but it didn't occur at the same time. It was a big relief to table the divorce and try to make the marriage work but shortly thereafter, my diagnosis took place. Had I saved face and my marriage – one last time? This was it or the last attempt anyway. Why?! Why would one more chance make a difference now? I believed in him and us, or wanted to, at least.

The courts highly suggested the defendant participate in an upcoming recovery program which entailed group therapy for six-months in anger-management, and he actually complied. He also agreed to one date night per month with me, and I was amenable. It was better than nothing which was the way it was before. Initially, he planned all those dates, then, he stopped doing that too shortly thereafter. On occasion, he seemed fine with me going out with friends, without berating me, like he used to do before when I walked out the door and returned home in the evenings. He also accepted my job requirement of entertaining clients, which was no different from his, but as the woman of the household, it meant he would need to get home on time to stay home with the kids while I entertained on an occasional evening or two per month. He said he would travel less, help out around the home more and even take me on a long overdue vacation. What more could a woman ask for? It sounded like a perfect "fix" to our family situation. Marriage can be challenging but I was simply asking for an equal partnership in the nuptials, not an old-fashioned, traditional sided oriented, or should I say male-dominated, controlling lifestyle.

When his demeanor changed it was always easier on the children. He lifted the harsh old rules he felt so strongly about, and that I was adamantly in disagreement with, and he agreed to eliminate all cursing and derogatory language and communicate to me like a loving spouse should. He conceded to all that without the long, drawn out repercussions. At least, it was nice for about a month or so.

However, that was short-lived as the convivial drinking was back on the horizon. Even though he said he would try to drink "nonalcoholic beer" or water between his "alcohol" consumption during his business nights out and simply slow down his overall beverage intake, it was hard. He continued to return home in the unforgettable stuppering ways that I was so accustomed to. The traveling did not curtail much nor were our endless discussions about his intake, and so there we were - back to square one.

Looking back, the first few weeks were good. But then after a month or two later, it all resorted back to the same ole. I waited of course to see if this was a short, little bump in the new system but it was not. I soon found myself calling my lawyers back and was sharing the news, "'Let's re-file!'" They were not surprised. They had seen this many times before, they said. If anything, they often represented women who filed twice and this process was a common thing. I didn't feel anything like a "common woman." I felt shattered.

It wasn't until two years later when I learned that this firm, again, had also taken advantage of me!

While I was settling my Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO) retirement settlement two years later, I realized they dated back the end date of our marriage to the wrong end dates. I said to my next attorney, "`Can't anyone get the facts right?'"

He had no idea what I was talking about. Apparently, he was unaware of the first divorce filing. "Really?" I said! "Are you serious, you don't know?!" Wasn't all the paperwork forwarded on to you?

Once I brought that attorney up to speed and shared that news with him plus the large file I had, he did some investigative work and found out that the defendant's attorney had the first divorce "dropped" once I decided to put it on "hold," all without my knowledge! Wow, can this be true! After all these years I am just finding this out now? I thought. There were two docket numbers, or cases, not one extension? How careless of the first counsel, or was this intentional?!

I put the divorce on hold to offer my spouse a second chance with our lives together all while he was not forthright about the process. I really loved him and wanted to save the marriage after all these years to make this work for me and our children. To learn that he and his counsel seemingly omitted informing me about the dismissal of this divorce filing crucial information was extremely upsetting, and then to learn that my attorney never had the nerve to inform me either, all while I was sick I might add, was unforgettable and unforgivable to all parties involved. My law firm took full advantage of the situation with their request to "update" the divorce proceedings when I actually "rewrote" a new docket, or divorce pleading for them instead, all at my expense too. And the defendant's lawyer twisted and turned things to ensure he got a few more years on my ticket, of shared financial marital bliss. Oh what fun I found divorce to be without a pre-nup!

So while I had filed for divorce twice, at this firm's recommendation, when all I truly wanted was to give my spouse another chance to make amends, I still loved him and prayed that we could make it work for us and our beautiful children. They had suggested they could put these divorce proceedings on hold for up to twelve months, and at any time, I could resume where we left off, and pick up the docket at that time. It was less than twelve months, after I re-filed and I always wondered why I was required to "update" all those silly questions. It all made sense. The pieces came together more than two years later. You see, I later learned that the defendant's counsel had closed the original docket after I said I would put things on hold in July 2007, most likely to save face with her client (defendant) and for reasons of his family embarrassment.

When I finally sent the original divorce document to my current counsel, we learned that the first filing was dismissed right after I dropped the complaint by Stipulation of Dismissal filed by the defendant's counsel, without prejudice. Don't you think I should have known this information two years ago?! Everything was kept a secret from me; who was paying the damn bills? They hid the fact that the other party dropped the divorce and when I re-filed, it was no longer simply on hold.

So that was reason for all my legal costs. A smart move by this law firm (although an unethical move), I felt totally taken advantage of both mentally and financially. I just wonder how many times they had done this to other clients. How many innocent women (and men) had been told they could put things on hold, and ended up in the same boat as I? How many times had they billed, re-billed, billed for duplicate work, un-coded work, generic work that was so ambiguous that you could not dispute the billings, requested reports which went unused, subpoenaed corporate HR information when they had the identical same original documents, a minute conversation that was billed at fifteen minute intervals, and so on, and so on. It added up, that's what I know.

My breast cancer pain had not subsided but I learned as most survivors do, you do for yourself the way others do unto you. I was never brought up that wrongful way and was always doing for others but now it was time I took care of my mental and physical health and my pocket book too. So while I decided to maintain a civil and peaceful household, my law firm used the original divorce filing papers, however, what counsel neglected to tell me is that a year later your facts need to be current, and some new issue out-weighed the old. So a rewrite of the brief was going to be necessary. Wow, what an expense!

What I wasn't expecting was for this law firm, I had entrusted my soul with, to send through a bill, charging me twice to file this extension for divorce, all while they said it wouldn't cost me double! By now I had incurred over $80,000 in legal bills, after approximately twelve months' worth of bickering, and an unsettled divorce.

While I attempted to get well; I decided to go pro se, hey!

I learned to ask more questions up front from my attorney's to try to think of all angles in preparation of our legal work. This saves time and money and expense. That's been helpful to the process but exhausting, no doubt. You pay these guys (and gals) to do the `dirty' work for you, but in hindsight, you need to do a lot of legal `work' yourself. In my case, it was similar to identifying the circular cause or consequences just like this old adage ...

(Continues...)

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