In a faraway galaxy, a spaceship careens out of control as spongy shock cushions close around four highly trained officers in the Planetary Federation and Space Exploration. As red warning lights flash repeatedly, the spaceship crashes on an unknown planet, leaving the crew with nothing but a crumpled ship and a ruined vacation. Now, all they need to do is find their way back to Zarlleella, their home planet. After Khair, Jorl, Sam, and Tarla disembark, they soon realize they are stranded in the middle of a desolate landscape without a way to communicate with the Federation. As the crew attempts to blend in with the inhabitants of their new strange home, they soon realize that the planet is in imminent danger of a hostile takeover by the evil Surnanians. With the help of an eclectic group of planet dwellers, the crew soon becomes entangled in a dangerous, sometimes humorous journey to save the planet from an inevitable disaster. In this entertaining science fiction tale, an unanticipated chain of events sends four aliens on a wild adventure as they discover it may be more challenging than they ever imagined to find their way back to the life they once knew.

Now What?

By Barbara J. Hamblen

Trafford Publishing

Copyright © 2012 Barbara J. Hamblen
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4669-6420-4

Chapter One

Johnny, cocky as any banty rooster, strutted up to the huge front door of the magnificent Southern-style mansion. In a semi-circle behind him, nine people plus a big rusty-red dog made up a fair-sized, silent group on the large veranda.

Johnny kept his finger on the intricate bell button till the heavy door suddenly burst open and, huge though the doorway was, it seemed to be filled by a tremendous pile of definitely female flesh topped by mounds of variegated blonde hair.

"Johnny! My leetle Johnny!"

Johnny, who was about one quarter of her size, grinned from ear to ear and said, "Hi, Big Mamma. How's tricks?"

She scooped him up in a big, mushy hug. "You are the trickiest trick that's been here for a long, long while, leetle Johnny." She put him back down on his feet and looked over the crowd gathered on her front porch. In spite of her generously large and smiling mouth, most members of the group were more than aware of the diamond hard stare she raked over each and every one of them. Her gaze stopped momentarily on the three young men—costumes or uniforms?—could be either—and totaled up their probable worth, tax included. "Is this a delegation from the city fathers, or are they customers?" she asked.

"We need help, Big Mamma Alice, and I knew you'd be the one to come to—for a price." Johnny poked her in the vicinity of her ribs.

Alice laughed, patted Johnny's head, and said, "I can't refuse a smart little cockerel like you anything, leetle Johnny." She pinched his cheek. "Come in. Come in and tell Mamma Alice what you need. If I haven't got it—I'll get it." She caught sight of Rusty. "A dog? A huge red dog? That might be a leetle ... we have cats." Her laughter boomed out over the formal garden.

She swept them through the deeply carved double doors into a large, marbled, beautifully appointed reception hall where, from the far end, a wide, graceful staircase rose up.

About three steps from the bottom sat two Siamese cats. Rusty saw them the same second they saw him—instant cat-and-dog thing. With three leaps and a slide, Rusty was on the bottom step and the cats were near the top of the case. As Rusty gained the top of the flight, the two howling cats were through an open door with Rusty in hot pursuit.

Within seconds, screams from at least two females shattered the elegant calm.

One of the men in the group bounded up the stairs muttering curses on Rusty's head. Rusty's vibrating barks turned to howls, and the cats' screeches had reached a record-high pitch.

It became impossible to carry on a conversation where they were. Alice bellowed, "Into the salon. Shut the door. It sounds like a bloody cat house." Suddenly realizing what she had said, she roared with fresh laughter. "Get that, leetle Johnny? Sounds like a cat house."

Johnny laughed hysterically—partly at Alice's joke and partly as a result of the last few nerve-racking hours—laughter that could just as easily have turned into deep sobs and tears.

The group didn't get the joke and so looked politely at the two.

Through his tears, Johnny saw the puzzled looks on the others' faces, which set him off again.

"Jeez, don't you get it? That's what this place is—a cathouse."

And it was—for miles around, it was the most elegant, the most select, and the most expensive house of ill repute.

There were varying expressions on the faces of the nine. One of the women looked shocked while another curled her lip in disgust. The men were stoic.

Big Alice didn't miss anything. She boomed out, "Yes, a whorehouse." She looked up and down, with a calculating stare, at the one with the disgusted look. "Interested?" Saw her expression. "Too bad. I've room for a tall, cool, elegant lady type." Her piercing blue-gray eyes glittered. "Too bad."

"Now, my Johnny boy, what do all these people need, and how much will they pay?"

"The police are after them, and they need secret transportation back to town."

Alice had seen and heard a lot in her lusty life, but the idea of such a weird mixture of people, all being in the same bind, sent her plucked eyebrows hairwards. "All of them—together—and a dog? Come on, leetle Johnny, what for?"

"A great misunderstanding on the part of your police." Another one of the men had stepped in to speed up negotiations and to prevent Johnny from blurting out any part of the truth.

"If possible, madam, we also would appreciate some water for us and Rusty and maybe the use of the facilities?"

"That's easy." Alice rang a tinkling bell, and immediately six young lovelies, all of different sizes and colors, came giggling in from two directions.

"Listening at the doors again, were you?" boomed Alice. "Marion, close the curtains. It's more than possible that we might get some official visitors."

At that moment, Rusty and the two cats walked cheerfully into the salon together, evidently on peaceful terms, and another young woman came in behind them. "They," indicating the animals, "have decided to like each other instead of tearing each other apart."

The young man that had chased Rusty upstairs came in behind them. As he rejoined his group, he did his best to smother his laughter.

"Oh, and Alice," the young woman added, "I could see a string of flashing red lights coming up on the highway. I'm pretty sure I could hear sirens."

"They probably eez coming here—probably about theez new group here. We need to make some arrangements, and that may not be too easy—eet depends on a few things."

One of the men pulled out a wad of money.

"Well, that settles one of them," Alice said.

The sirens were getting louder.

"Okay, leetle Johnny, queekly—take them to zee bolt-hole." She noticed the concerned looks on some of the faces. "Don't worry—it's a secret suite that should be safe from a casual search. I'll do my best wiz zee cops. I'll send food and water. Hurry. Go!" She called the girls together and issued her orders. They drew the drapes in the dining room and generally made things look like any other early evening. She ordered food to be put on the table and had the girls sit down ready to have supper.

Alice stood at the huge window that looked out over the front gates. The red lights glowed, and the color bounced off the treetops. The sound of the sirens got nerve jangling louder.

"Quick, Marion, let's get ready to do a—a—."

"Diversionary act upon our dear Fritzy?" Marion suggested.

"Yes, and I bet good old Captain Fritz Wheeler must be leading zee pack. Ordering all zee red lights and sirens is the closest he'll ever get to being a wheeler-dealer."

"He's a little short in the brains department," Marion said.

"Yes, maybe, but he eez a good gringo." Alice sneaked a peek out the window. "He and his partner are getting out of the car." She scanned the room for any telltale signs of strangers and hurried slowly to the big front door just as the chimes sounded.

"Come in, come in, my mucho macho Fritzy," she bellowed out. "What games are you playing now with all zee flashing of zee red lights?"

"Hello, big Mamma Alice." He grinned with pleasure when Alice all but scooped him up in a large bear hug, gave him a huge kiss on his forehead, and plopped him back down on the floor.

"And who eez this cute fellow that came in wiz you?"

"That's Officer Joe Vallisio, my driver."

"Well, you grow them zo cute in Vegas." Alice chucked Joe under the chin. She turned toward Fritzy. "So, my handsome Fritzy, what ezz ziz all about? All ziz blinka blinka red lights and howling sirens enough to wake a polar bear in ... in ...?"

"The Arctic," Marion supplied.

"My sweet Marion, you are zo, zo—smart." She beamed at Marion. "You must take after your mother."

"Probably." She shrugged and half-smiled.

Fritzy looked from Alice to Marion and back, as usual, wondering. "Well, it's a long story." He looked at Alice and sent a little signal about how he just might like a bite to eat and something a little interesting in a glass.

Alice caught the signals. "Fritzy, my dear sweet Fritzy. Come in and sit down with the girls and me and have some supper. You, too, Joey. But, Fritzy, tell Joe to tell the other cars to go back to zee—zee—," she snapped her fingers, trying to find the word.

"Headquarters," Marion supplied.

"Yes, zat place. And then come back here, queek, and have supper with the girls. I can hear their sweet little hearts fluttering now, you handsome boy, you." Alice's laugh boomed out again.

"Come wiz me, sweet Fritzy," and she almost carried him to the dining room and sat him at the table between two adoring, luscious young things. "Hurry back, Joey, there's a good place for you, too."

Alice went to the head of the table and took her rightful place. She tinkled the little bell and told Janice, the young woman that came in, to start serving supper. "And bring the usual drink for our dear friend, Fritzy."

The chimes sounded again.

"Marion, go and let in zee heartthrob."

Marion went out into the reception hall and then led a nervous and blushing Joe into the large and elegant dining room. Marion sat Joey between two lovelies who immediately made an almost overwhelming fuss over the young officer. It was evident that he had never been here before, but he hoped it wouldn't be his last time.

"Now, my macho Fritzy, tell us what's going on. Eeet must be terribly exciting for all zat noise and blinka blinkas. Janice, a refill for our Fritzy."

"Well." Fritzy enjoyed the limelight and wanted it to last. "There have been some weird going ons in the desert in the last few days, so we were scouting around near the vicinity." Fritzy paused for a mouthful, chewed, and swallowed it. "My, that's so tasty. What is it?"

"We will find out later, Fritzy. Get on wiz zee story." Alice didn't want to sound too impatient.

"Where was I? Oh, yes—in the desert near the trouble spot. Well, we were cutting through the Saguaro tract to get to the Cacomistle plains when we saw a smashed-up and abandoned red car, and nobody was anywhere near it, so we stopped to have a look and take down the particulars." Fritzy held up his glass to Janice for a refill.

Janice looked at Alice, who nodded "yes" but signaled to make it weak.

"Thank you, dear, you make a great drink."

"And?" Alice tried for patience.

"We suddenly saw a big car coming at us at around a hundred miles an hour. It just missed our cars, and when it passed by ..." Fritzy cut off another large mouthful, looked at it, smelled it, chewed it slowly, loved it, and swallowed it.

Everyone but Fritzy saw Alice ready to erupt like an oversized volcano. Through clenched teeth she said, "And?"

"There was no one in it. Wasn't that strange? No driver, no passengers. No one. Then, about a mile away and heading north, we saw a big moving dust pillar, and we could make out that it was another car. We didn't know if anyone was in it or not." Fritzy made an extended pause and said, "That was great. Um-m, is there any desert—by any chance?"

"AND?" Fritzy, even sunk in his fuzzy feelings, caught on that Alice was getting just a little impatient for the end of the story.

"Then I called for backup and tried to figure out what our next move should be. Then we got orders to report back to command headquarters. But I remembered that you were close to the vicinity where all this queer stuff is going on, and since you usually know what's going on, I thought we should come in here to see if you had any information on anything. Besides ... anyway, thanks for the wonderful meal, as usual, and ... and ..."

"You are more than welcome, Fritzy. And eet is time that you should go now, and you need to write out your reports and go home to your worried wife."

Joey, after his wonderful meal and exotic dinner companions, got up from the table and came to get Fritzy. "Okay, Chief, I guess we'd better get on the road again."

"You're right, Joey, m' boy. Have to report to headquarters." He seemed to be feeling his drinks just a little. "For only two years and three months more, then, I can report to the golf course." He heaved himself out of his chair with a helping hand from Joey.

Big Alice and Marion and a few of the girls got them to the door and waved them an animated good-bye.

Alice turned back into the foyer, and Marion thankfully shut the door and locked it.

"Now, Marion, bring up zee guests and let's see eef we can find out what zees is all about."

In a few minutes, Alice heard the group coming from the back of the house. She waited for them in the dining room, which had quickly been cleared and relaid with tea, coffee, and bits and pieces to go with the drinks.

"Come in. Come in. Leetle Johnny, you sit here beside me. I thought we should sit at zee big table and talk like zee big—big—," she turned toward Marion.

"Company boardroom conference," Marion supplied.

"Good idea," one of the men said.

"Tell Mama Alice what goes on and what eez needed."

Johnny, sitting close to Alice, said, "I thought Happy Harry might ..." Everyone at the table looked from Johnny to Alice.

"Yes. My clever leetle Johnny—that's who I had in mind. With his fleet of cars and hearses, he should be able to arrange something for tonight."

"Hearses?" Old Bill spoke for the first time. "He's an undertaker?"

"You could say that," Alice said. She looked closely at him with pleasure—liked what she saw.

"I s'pose he's part of the local Mafia," Bill added.

"You might even say zat, too. Why? Squeamish?" Alice laughed.

"Nope. Just wonderin'." Bill sat back in his chair. "Probably the best idea for this here situation."

Questions and opinions began to flow and fly in all directions, all at once, and with increasing volume. Rusty added some short, shrill barks as his two cents worth. After a few minutes of this unproductive and confusing table talk, Alice boomed in. "Enough! Enough! Who are you?" She pounded on the table with a heavy spoon. "What eez theez all about? Why do you ...? Who are you ...?" Her voice became louder and louder on a rising scale, heavy with frustration.

Then one of the two eldest men spoke in a quiet, sonorous tone. Everyone at the table was still; they recognized the quiet voice of authority. "First, dear Alice, my name is Mosets, and we can't thank you enough for sheltering us in our time of real need." He paused for a moment. "It is a complicated and an almost unbelievable chain of unseen events in which all of us have played a part. After giving it some thought, I have decided, if all of you are willing, on my solution."

He had their complete attention.

"I am, in effect, going to pick a bouquet of flowers—one from the memory of each of us and of all the events in the last four days. This will be as if each flower saw its own part of the memory. Then, my bouquet, in its entirety, will be placed in your memory, dear Alice, and then you will know all there is to know right up to this moment."

Alice, for about the only time in her life, was speechless. Her mind was full with a variety of thoughts and emotions. Then she asked, "How? How can you do zeez thing? Is it dangerous to me? Will theez bouquets thing hurt me?"

"No, I assure you, dear Alice, it won't hurt. It is no more dangerous than reading a book or watching the TV." His low, calm, stately voice soothed the fears away.

"This young lady on my left is trained in thought transference. So may I continue? Will you welcome Tarla into your thoughts? It is totally up to you, dear Alice. When she has finished, you will know all there is to know. Will you trust me?"

"Yes, Mosets, I feel zee trust for you. Zee transfer thing. Will it take a lot of time?"

"No, dear Alice, maybe five minutes. Very well. Everyone, relax, and Alice, lean your head back and be calm. I will gather my bouquet and give it to you."

Mosets entered the group's minds one at a time—he gave each memory to Tarla, and she put them in their proper order and slowly and softly placed them in the mind of Alice. Tarla made sure that Alice was calm and receptive, and then she left as gently as a falling flower petal leaving the whole story in Alice's mind.

Chapter Two

"Finally. Finally, we're on our way." Sarn rubbed his hands together and yelled, "Vacation, here we come." With a showman-like flourish, he locked in the last control switch. With arms flung out wide, legs stretched to the limit of his console, he gave a mighty stretch. Then, laughing, he turned his chair around, leaped up, grabbed his sister, Tarla, as she stood up from her navigation console, and spun her in circles.

"Sarn," she gasped, "put me down. Put me down!" They were both laughing. "Put me down before we break something. Like me, for instance."

(Continues...)

Excerpted from Now What?by Barbara J. Hamblen Copyright © 2012 by Barbara J. Hamblen. Excerpted by permission of Trafford Publishing. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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