need encouragement?

Trafford Publishing

Chapter One

Proverbs 27:6 tells us "Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful." I've heard it said that pain is inevitable, but misery is optional. In other words, while we must accept pain as a part of life, we don't have to let that pain define who we are. I know some people who wallow in self-pity and offense. They constantly maintain a "victim mentality" and their life motto seems to be "Woe is me!" Instead of allowing their wounds to make them better, they become bitter.

The greatest thing that a friend can do for you is to be honest, even when it hurts. While truth is confrontational and sometimes painful to hear, It is also liberating and refreshing. Truth helps move you from where you are to the place where God would have you to be. And while it is somewhat natural to recoil from the truth (especially the tough stuff), I encourage you to embrace truth. Truth brings health, healing, and wholeness. And what is this truth? Jesus tells us in John 17:17 "Sanctify them by Your truth. Your word is truth."

Make it your life goal and heart's desire to be a truth lover and a truth liver. Ye shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free!

Become What You Believe Believe

You are just ONE decision away from becoming all that is abundantly in your heart! You alone are the one who can make that happen. It is my prayer that you will BECOME WHAT YOU BELIEVE! If you are believing for a better life, better relationships, better finances, better health, a better attitude, YOU have to make that decision. Your unbelief can hinder what God desires to do in your life.

If you are ready to make that decision to become what you believe, you need to focus on changing five things. You must change what you ...

1. Say. You will have whatever you say (Mark 11:23).

2. See. You become whatever you behold. Whatever gains and sustains your attention will ultimately change your life.

3. Believe. All things are possible to those who believe (Matthew 19:26).

4. Think. As a man thinks in his heart, so is he (Proverbs 23:7).

5. Do. Be not only a hearer of the Word, but a doer also (James 1:22).

If you work on these five things, I believe that your life will go to another level and you will ultimately become what you believe.

You Get What You "Pray" For

The old clich goes "You get what you pay for." I certainly believe this to be true with the quality of natural things. A cafeteria steak doesn't have quite the same taste as a steak from the finest steakhouse in the city. A used car with 100,000 miles doesn't run quite as smoothly as a brand new car fresh off the showroom floor. You tend to have more of a comfortable night's rest on 1000 count Egyptian sheets than the $9.99 sheets from Wal-Mart. In the natural, less expensive often means cheaper quality while more expensive often means higher quality.

In the spiritual realm, however, the quality of life is not based on what you pay for; it's about what you pray for. Jesus taught us that a man "will have whatever he says (Mark 11:23)." He also taught us that "whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them (Mark 11:24)." In other words, Jesus is telling us that "you get what you pray for." Now, does that mean that you'll get anything and everything that you pray for? Absolutely not! You will only get those things that are according to God's will for your life. And you come into an understanding of God's will for your life through prayer and understanding His Word.

If you are at a place in your life where you can't understand what's going on - you feel distant from God, your relationships are strained, your finances are in shambles, your health is declining, your career path is uncertain, your trust has been betrayed, or your attitude is negative - I encourage you to seek the Lord. Because He created you, He knows everything about you. He also wants nothing but the best for you (which is His good and acceptable and perfect will). So set aside some time to get into God's presence and allow Him to reveal His will for your life. Then, you will truly get what you pray for!

Spiritual Constipation

Have you ever experienced constipation? It's not the greatest feeling in the world, is it? You feel "clogged up" and irritable. With constipation, there is stuff going in you, but nothing is coming out. And when it does finally come out, one of two things happens:

1. It hurts or ...

2. There is a sigh of relief.

The important thing is that it is out. The same can be said about "spiritual constipation". With spiritual constipation, you often feel "clogged up" if you don't allow things to come out of you that are bottled up. If God teaches you something or gives you insight into something, He doesn't intend for you to be the final destination. We often become "spiritually constipated" whenever we hold on to things that He intends for us to release. It could be an idea. It could be a compliment. It could be money. It could be your testimony. It could even be unforgiveness. Whatever it is, if it isn't released, it'll cause more harm than good.

Take the time to assess whether or not you are suffering from "spiritual constipation." Do you need to forgive someone? Do you need to share a comforting word with someone? Do you need to let your family know that you love them? Do you need to reconnect with a long lost relationship? Do you need to share your testimony? Do you need to return your tithe unto the Lord? Do you need to connect with a business partner? Where are you "clogged up"?

Make it a point to release whatever it is that needs to go. As Dr. Edwin Louis Cole taught, "You are taught to teach. You are blessed to bless. You are given to give. What God has done in you, for you, and to you, He now wants to do through you." So take a deep breath, take a spiritual laxative (inventory), and let "it" out!

The First ...

When was the last time that you did something for the first time? Travelled to a place that you've never been? Learned something that you didn't know? Established a new relationship? Ate at a new restaurant? Attended a cultural event that is out of your comfort zone? Prayed for someone besides you and your immediate family?

Well, if it's been a while since your last "first", what are you waiting for? There is nothing that compares to experiencing "firsts". I will never forget the first time that I rode a roller coaster. I will never forget my first day of college. I will never forget the first time that I travelled outside of the United States. I will definitely never forget my first night as a married man. I will never forget watching my first child being born. I just love "firsts". It seems that you receive an extra dose of adrenalin whenever you experience "firsts".

When I turned 30 years old, priority, responsibility, and urgency began to take on new meaning for me. Maybe I've finally come to realize that life really IS short and I have to make the most of my time while I'm here. I don't want to approach the end of my life complaining of what I coulda, woulda, shoulda. Whenever it's my time to return to Jesus, I want to be confident that I've done everything that He desired of me as well as knowing that I had a great time while doing it.

I challenge you to take the time to ask yourself "What do I desire to do that I have yet to do? Where do I want to go that I haven't gone yet?" Once you answer these questions the final question to ask yourself is "What am I waiting on?"

I wish you the best as you experience your next "first".

Love ... Love ... Love

Ever been in love before? Puppy love? Go to the end of the earth love? I'll die for you love? Well, I'd like to bring a little clarity to this whole idea of love. I'd also like to define what love is and what it is not.

The definition of love that I often use is "an unconditional commitment to an imperfect person." When you truly love someone, there is nothing that can happen to remove or erase that love. He/she may mess up and make a number of mistakes, but your love for that person doesn't diminish. Love is an appreciating asset, not a depreciating liability. Love should always be based on who a person is and not what a person does. Also, love is not an emotion; it is a decision. Many couples choose to "call it quits" because they just don't "feel the love" anymore.

There are three primary areas where we must place our love. I John 4:8 tells us that "God is love." So, in an effort to share love with others, you are really sharing God with them. Focus on placing your love in the following areas:

1. Love God. Our relationship with God is the foundation for every relationship that we'll ever have. It is imperative that you have a proper relationship with God so that you can have proper relationships with others. God built us with a need to love Him. Be sure to love Him not merely in word or tongue but in deed and truth. In other words, don't just talk about it; be about it. Pray. Study your Bible. Pay your tithes. Serve in your church and community. Fellowship with other believers. These are all manifestations of your love for God. 2. Love yourself. You can only love others if you first love yourself. If you don't love yourself, you won't know how to relate to others. Take the time to love and affirm yourself. Make daily confessions and affirmations regarding who God has created you to be. Remind yourself that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Tell yourself that you are the apple of God's eye. Be confident in knowing that you're a King's kid. 3. Love others. The Bible tells us in John 13:35 "By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another." When we have a proper and healthy love for God and ourselves, we then know how to love others. One of the most basic needs of all humanity is to be loved. What greater opportunity do we have than to serve as a source of love for someone else? Love is one of the few things that you can give to another person and never diminish your own supply. So take the time to love others.

The world needs a lot of things, but one of the greatest gifts that you have to offer is love. Why don't you take a moment right now to let someone know that you love them?

A Good N.A.M.E

Proverbs 22:1 states "A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, loving favor rather than silver and gold."

If you desire to be a person who has a good N.A.M.E, you must have:

1. "N"tegrity. In its simplest form, integrity means always doing what's right. I believe that a good name and integrity are inseparable. People who have a good name are those who have impeccable character and purity of heart. It doesn't mean that he/she never makes mistakes, but he/she is always quick to make things right whenever things do go wrong. So, the first element of having a good name is integrity. 2. Attitude. I'm a firm believer in the old adage that life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you respond to it. People who possess a positive attitude don't always have the best of everything, but they always make the best out of everything that they have. And it all starts with attitude. Having a positive attitude is a critical step in becoming a person with a good name. A positive attitude has a way of attracting positive things in your life. So take the time to focus on your attitude. 3. Mastery. A person with a good name is not a jack of all trades and a master of none. He/she has learned to master something. They give purposeful attention to areas of their strength. They develop their God-given gifts, talents, and abilities to bless the lives of others. While it is good to possess general knowledge on many topics, it is even better to have specific knowledge in particular areas. That is why a medical doctor who is a specialist makes more money than a general practitioner. Expertise is always better than general knowledge. So focus on mastering areas of your strength. 4. Excellence. Excellence simply means doing the best that you can on the level where you are. Regardless of where you are in your life, you can be a person of excellence. People who desire to have a good name are people who strive for excellence in every area of life. They are not content with being ordinary, average, or mediocre. They are allergic to the status quo. People of excellence are always growing, always learning, always developing, always striving for something beyond where they currently are.

Ask yourself "What does my N.A.M.E say about me?" I hope and pray that you're satisfied with your answer. If not, take time to check your integrity, attitude, mastery, and excellence.

Are You T.O.U.G.H?

I've heard it said on numerous occasions that though tough times don't last, tough people do. And while I believe that to be true, I believe that tough times give us a great opportunity to grow through various situations.

In the midst of trying circumstances in my own life, it has caused me to examine myself and how I respond during those times. I've learned that tough times don't discriminate. It doesn't matter how saved or unsaved you are. It doesn't matter how old or young you are. It doesn't matter your race or ethnic background. It doesn't matter if you're a manager or an employee. It doesn't matter if you're single, married, divorced, or widowed. Tough times come to us all.

Being the optimist that I am, I try not to dwell on the details of the tough times but instead I aim to learn how I got into the tough situation, the lessons that I am to learn from the situation, and steps I need to take to get out of it.

As you experience tough times in your life, I encourage you to respond by being a T.O.U.G.H person:

Transparent. People can't be helped until they're willing to be transparent. The more a person hides, the less they desire to be helped. But once a person opens themselves up, the possibilities are endless.

Obedient. If we truly believe God and His Word, we can be confident that our obedience will benefit us much better than our own reasoning. It is often our disobedience or disbelief that throws us off the course that God has set for us.

Understanding. I strive to live my life as a person who seeks to understand more so than to be understood. Seeking to understand builds a bond with others that can't be established any other way. As we seek to understand the hearts and minds of others, we often understand more about ourselves in the process.

Grateful. Gratitude is a way to ensure that more comes into your life. And I'm not merely referring to material things. I'm speaking of being grateful for things like love, grace, peace, joy, family, and healing. Great people are grateful people.

Humble. In addition to being grateful, the greatest people I've ever met have also been extremely humble. Humility is not thinking less of yourself but simply thinking of yourself less. The Bible reminds us in James 4:6 that "God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble." Do what's necessary to be a recipient of His grace.

Satisfaction

What is the primary source of your satisfaction? Performing well at work? Having peace and harmony at home? Having money in your bank account? Being a blessing to someone else? Maintaining a healthy body?

Take the time to examine what satisfaction means and looks like to you. It means a variety of things to people, so it's important that you take the time to define what satisfaction looks like to you. Don't allow anyone else to define it for you. Whenever you allow someone else to create your world for you, they'll always create it too small.

Whatever your definition is of satisfaction, allow God to satisfy you in only a way that He can. He is the source of ALL joy, peace, understanding, wisdom, patience, compassion, and love. May He fill you in every place that you're lacking and may He remove things and people that might be hindering you from obtaining all that He has for you!

The Purpose of Pain

Have you ever felt as if your pain was perpetual and your wound incurable? Have you ever hurt so bad that you didn't know how you would go on? Have you ever wrestled with your emotions to the point where you couldn't sleep well at night? Has your heart and mind ever been at war and you didn't know which one was right? If you have, you are definitely not alone.

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Excerpted from need encouragement?by jason h. thomas Copyright © 2009 by Jason H. Thomas. Excerpted by permission.
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