CHAPTER 1

THE STARTING-OUT BOX

A heart is made up of a million boxes—at least let'sthink of it that way. These boxes are all arranged in apattern that should never be touched, manipulated,rearranged or corrupted. The nature of these boxes is set to guideus, direct us and show us the way of life, how pleasant it is, andhow cruel it can be. All step-by-step.

The Beginning box. This is birth. This is where we areintroduced to this thing called life. Where we are guided everystep of the way. I call this the flexible box. By nature, this is thebiggest box inside everyone's heart. It is clean, neat and ready tobe occupied. This is childhood. At this phase we are naturallyclueless of everything around us and all the many curiositiesthat wrestle within us. And one thing I find vital about this box,something to always be careful about; its memory never erasesanything. What is inside your Starting-out box?

Amos 9:11-15.

The Lord says, "A day is coming when I willrestore the kingdom of David, which is like a housefallen into ruins ... I will bring them home andthey will rebuild their ruined cities and live there.They will plant vineyards and drink the wine; theywill plant gardens and eat what they grow."

The Lord your God has spoken.

You are probably wondering, how did life come to this?Dating back at childhood your box was filled with nothing buthappiness, warmth and peace. You recall all the joyful momentsyou spent with those who treated you well and left a mark inyour heart. Now you look at life and compare both the timesand lament, 'What did I do wrong?'

Life has turned out to be so complicated. Something younever ever imagined as a child. All the happiness and smilesyour box contains seems to be a fairy tail in this present life thatyou're faced with. At times you wish you didn't have to grow.You long for that old peace that reigned all day long as a child.You feel like all walls are coming down each day you grow. Evenat night you still cry tears that no one understands cause onlyyou know how much joy and peace childhood had compared tohow life is now. You still don't understand why they had to goaway and leave you all by yourself. Your Starting-out box stillreminds you of a life you would trade in anything to obtainagain. What happened? Why this much difference?

When Job had had enough of the suffering he was goingthrough, the Bible tells us he broke the silence and began cursingthe day he was born.

"O God, put a curse on the day I was born; put acurse on the night I was conceived. Turn that dayinto darkness, God. Never again remember that day;never again let light shine on it.

Job 3:2

Growing up life must have been something for job, can'tsay good; can't say bad. But I know through hard work he hadall he ever wanted, every valuable asset. But all of a suddenhe finds himself faced with this horrible tragedy of a loss ofchildren, livestock and his health on the edge. And so he cursesthe day in which he was born. He curses childhood. He curseshis Starting-out box. Why? It's Simple: However life turns outto be in the future, it will still, and always will be haunted bythe good and bad memories of childhood. Perhaps in his casethese sufferings reminded him of a life he once experienced asa child. A life of pain, and a life of struggle. A life where peacewas nothing but a myth. Or, perhaps childhood reminded himof the love he received, the protection that once surroundedhim. Suppose birth stirred up the memory of those loving armsthat cannot and will never hold him again. Warmth that willnever comfort him again, and peace that will never be foundagain. See when we are faced with a dreadful situation all thesethoughts come to life and torment us because they show us away into happiness but happiness that just won't be obtainableno more. Sometimes it's the opposite, these memories can takeus back to that part of the box where pain was all we knew. Thatpart where smiling was just not possible. They can cultivatethat hate which we'd believed to have faded with time. Theycan make us relive every moment of that troubling part ofchildhood. This box sure does contains vital stuff!

There's a film I love titled, The Prestige. Just a movie aboutmagic. I learnt some things from that movie; 'that every greatmagic trick consist of three important parts or acts. First part iscalled the Pledge; the magician shows you something ordinary. Adeck of card, a bird or a man. Things that your mind is familiarto. He will show you this object so that you inspect it to confirmthat it's real, normal and ordinary. But of course it probably isn't.The second act is called the Turn; the magician takes the ordinarysomething and makes it do something extraordinary. Now you'relooking for the secret but you won't find it, because of course you'renot really looking; you don't really want to know. You want to befooled. Now the trick has been pulled, but you wouldn't clap yet,because making something disappear isn't enough. You have to bringit back. That's why then in every magic trick there's a third act; thehardest part. The part we call the Prestige. That's the part with thetwists and the turns, where lives hang in the balance. And you seesomething shocking that you've never seen before.'

And that's exactly how the Devil works. He fools people intobelieving on what isn't real but makes it appear as if is. Usingthe memories inside your Starting-out box, he has stolen everybit of joy you can have of waking up in the morning and thejoy of actually being alive. He has taken the memory of yourfather or mother abandoning you and turned it into somethingextra-terrible. He has manipulated the memory of childhoodof when you were molested, kidnapped, raped, abused, anddespised. He turned it all into something never ever heard ofbefore. Something super horrible. He has convinced you thatthe happiness you grew up in was only for childhood, but inreality life is hard, happiness costs money and that eternal lifeis something that doesn't exist. He has turned the memoriesof laughter you once had as a child into some fairy tale youhardly can recall. But is all that true though? Are you the onlyboy who has ever been abused by his parents or relatives duringchildhood? No! Are you the only girl who has ever been sexuallyabused by a parent or from outside as a child? No! Are you thefirst person to have lost a parent on a car crash or incurabledisease as a child? No! Was your family the first to have buglersbreak in and steal everything back when you were still a child?No! And yes, pain can never be compared. Each person'ssuffering is unique, horrible and harmful in its own way. Thenyou ask yourself, 'If my case isn't a rare one, then why does it feel sodifferent than to what others have experienced?'

It's simple; the Devil never wants you to heal. That leadsus then to the 'Prestige' part. The hardest part. The part thatexposes all the lies, all the tricks and all the methods that Satanhas been using to keep you fooled and blinded from knowingthe truth that sets everyone free from the wounds and scarslocked within the Starting-out box. And the truth is that Godhas always been willing to restore the joy and peace you oncehad as a child. He is all out in offering you the warmth youonce felt and the happiness you once knew. Satan tried to turnyour childhood experiences into something horrible, but Jesushas come to restore peace and show you how such experiencesmake you special-however frightening they are! Jesus will setyou free from the fear of taking pride about your Starting-outbox and the haunting that such memories bring. Satan's aimwas to draw your entire focus and attention to all the badthings that happened to you twenty years ago, and so destroyall the good fruits and blessings that the future holds in storefor you. He saw how trying you were in shaping a better futurefor yourself and your children, and began haunting you withall the many happy moments you had as a child under the careof those who loved and protected you. He convinced you andhas now got you to believe that such happiness was bound tonever lasting. His trick worked; and you were left fooled. Buttoday is the day of your recovery. The day God will reorder theitems of your Starting-out box. You just need faith. You needto look pass the pain that's inside your Starting-out box, andbegin to acknowledge the good moments that childhood letyou experience. Some children were aborted; never even hadthe chance to start-out. In spite of whatever happened to youlong ago, you can still heal and receive such happiness thateven childhood never offered. You will take back the curses thatyou've put over your Starting-out box. You will begin to see thedifference in men again; acknowledge and value all people again.Today and tomorrow will prove itself as to how different it isfrom yesterday. The box will be neat, cleaned and purified again.Every hate, every grudge and every evil will be destroyed.

I mean let's look at it deeply; we live in a world of foreverchanging time. One time we say life is good, then second timearound, life's hard. What is it that occupies your Starting-outbox? And yes, it does matter what lies inside that box. Someof us have tried and still trying to close and remove that boxbecause of the many scars and tears filled within it. You mustunderstand, the purpose of this chapter is not to let youexperience the pains and heartaches of that which you believedto have been erased and buried-No! This is God giving you thestrength to confront every demon and every test that was leftun-dealt with. This box is very important. Most people todayhave become victims of failures in life because they pursuedtomorrow with the hope that whatever happened yesterdaywont follow them and impact their future the unfortunate way.That is a good mindset, it's wise to focus on what lies aheadthen to waste all your opportunities over yesterdays mistakesand flaws. But it's even better to deal with yesterday and beat peace with the past. The Starting-out box involves everyperson who first made contact with you, either physically oremotionally.

This box contains all the hurt, the events and the joys oftimes past. What's inside your box?

Is it the joyful times you wish should've stayed forever? Is itthe childhood games you hoped will last always? As a child youwere innocent in everyway. Your box was decorated with the redand yellow flowers of grandmother's backyard garden. Until hecame along. Until she went away. The beauty of your box fadedaway, and pain occupied it.

Even when you think about it today, still anger burns andhatred boils.

You are not the only one, many are still in the process ofdealing with all the waste and mess that has taken all the spaceinside their Starting-out boxes. That's why we have people whobelieve every bad and terrible thing that falls on them is a hauntingthat first stole their childhood innocence. They feel cursed!

When God designed the box, it was meant for happinessand full-time laughter. Remember, this is a child we are talkingabout. An innocent soul that deserved love, care and acceptance.

This box should've been filled with all the good times ofchildhood. All the unforgettable moments of being insidemother's and daddy's loving arms. Instead something invaded itand ruined it for good. See, some things we think we have dealtwith and have solved. But if we still refuse and fear to speak andmake testimony or reference about, then we can only be surethey are still in charge and directing the way we are and shouldfeel about the many new things that now surround us as well asthe fear for the future.

Ok, maybe this will paint a more clear picture of howmuch impact this box can have over one's entire life. Mostwomen today still think differently of a man, and they are evenscared to give them a chance to friendship—let alone intimatecommitment. This wasn't always the case, it's because the firstman she allowed into her space as a child took advantage ofher innocence and cluelessness and hurt her, destroying everyreason she would have had of feeling proud and grateful abouther gender, her role and her entire existence. This box wascorrupted, and a life was destroyed.

And apart from women, some men today have chosen tostay away from women because of various reasons. Some wereabused by their mothers. The one person who should have beentheir rock and amour. Some had to constantly witness theirfathers abuse their mothers. And now years later they've alsodecided to keep away from women, because of the fear of doingthe same bad things they grew up under.

The Starting-out box is very sensitive. Every event is storedand played again and again until one finally confronts suchevents and make peace with them.

Now, How does God fit into all of this? Remember, this isno longer creation—it's mending stage.

Ezekiel 37:1-6.

'He led me all round the valley, and I could seethat there were very many bones and that they werevery dry. He said to me, "Mortal man, can thesebones come back to life?"

... "Tell these bones that I, the Sovereign Lordam saying to them: I am going to put breath intoyou and bring you back to life. I will give you sinewsand muscles, and cover you with skin. Then you willknow that I am the Lord."

You see God is aware of the many troubles and struggles you'vehad to endure as a child. From that first curse word and thatslap of an abuser, God knew your box had been contaminated.Studies have proven to show that children learn and grasp fasterthan adults. And so your box was corrupted at the right time bywhoever wrong person that was. But now God is offering to helpclean and restore the box to its rightful form. But will not touchthe good events and the awesome memories that still brings outyour smile, that keep you wishing, 'If only time was reversible.'

Unless you deal completely with the bad things inside yourstarting out box, joy will continue being conditional just as isnow. Now that's not happiness, nor a happy life. God will helpyou forgive every person who've played a role in corruptingyour starting out box which should have been for laughter butbecame a storage for pain.

Can these dry bones come back to life? Can you learn to smileagain; not from pretense but from joy that flows free from yourheart? Can you still accept your family again in spite of allthat they've put you through during childhood? Your box canstill have a meaning, store life and bring you happy memories.Provided you delete completely the ones you know hurt you.

God is willing to help you move on ahead with your life.A life that will be free from grudges. A life that will be set freefrom hatred, and a life that will have received restoration anda second chance. You will discover that men aren't all the same,as the belief has spread. You will reach out again to those whoaim and propose to love you, care for you and protect you. Yes,you will open up to everyone, like you first did to those whoturned out to harm you and later destroyed you. This box willbe neat again, filled with thoughts of that which was good andadorable. It's unfortunate you won't be able to start afresh againand be born anew physically. But God through Jesus will giveyou spiritual birth that will far more exceed the physical thatyou once knew and experienced. It's funny yet again sad thatsome people were so hurt at their Starting-out box that eventoday they even fear society as a whole. So you can only imaginewhat must have went wrong at childhood. Others fear a vehicle,because it took away their loved ones. That Trauma that filledthe box at childhood, is still the same trauma that has destroy allhope for the future. Others it's fear, others it's hate. They hatewomen. They hate men. They hate White people. They hateBlack people. And others hate themselves. Why? Something wasintroduced to the box, something that should have not existedin the first place. But whatever the case is; today God is offeringyou a way out of that darkness. Forgive everyone and let themknow you've chosen peace over these heavy chains you've oncethought you can live with. Jesus understands how much ofa task for you this is, and he is there to strengthen you all theway. Because the ever-told truth remains; Forgiveness is for you,never about the other person. This box has carried these troublesand been in pains for years, take this opportunity that God hasmade present for you be your step out of darkness and intofreedom. You can't carry this load any longer, and you certainlycan't pretend forever. Even the dead don't do such a thing.