We All Have Our Own Story

Millennials get a bad rap. Have you noticed? It's hard to pursue a career we really desire or make the money we deserve because many business owners think we don't want to work or don't have enough life experience, and some even think we are doing nothing with our lives. One major stereotype I frequently encounter is that we "get everything from our parents" and "don't want to work for anything." Go on any business site—Forbes, Entrepreneur, Inc., etc.—and search "millennial blogs." You will see the stereotypes exploding with a lot of different opinions and lessons that the millennial generation should learn.

That is fine. People are free to write what they want and think what they want. My mission is to break those stereotypes down and really get into the core truth of who we are. I am not trying to bash any other generation. I am teaching how we can cultivate success in our own lives so that we can live by pure example, so that we don't feel like we have to prove ourselves to anyone anymore.

According to a recent study, "58 percent of hiring managers said they're not planning to hire entry-level college graduates this year. And 66 percent of hiring managers said they don't think new college graduates are prepared for the workplace." This rubs me the wrong way because it insinuates that millennials don't have what it takes to be hired. Granted, being hired is more difficult because of the poor economy and the way businesses are structured now, but we are the ones who are being heavily affected because we are finding fewer opportunities, have a ton of student debt, and possess no idea of where to go so that we can grow into responsible adults while paying our debt down.

Yet we still are optimistic about our future, and we still value meaningful relationships and care about our lives. We just need a little knowledge about how to thrive in today's times and push through what others may say about our generation as a whole. Being a millennial can be challenging sometimes. I mean, come on. We are just like everyone else, and we deserve to be treated as such. But then, sometimes it can be a blast: great opportunities, parties, prom, eating junk food and never gaining a pound, listening to loud music, laughing with your friends, sports, tailgating, college graduation, marriage, starting families, and so on. I like the name millennials; it reminds me of all the millions of dollars we are going to make.

Some of our parents are prodding us to go to college even if we don't think it's necessary at this time. Our lives consist of everyone telling us what to do, when to do it, and how to do it—be professional, get good grades, don't say this, act this way, be home at this time, don't wear that, go to college, land that great job out of school, go into debt ... I could go on and on. People put demands on our lives as if they have a say! Maybe the people we trust and respect have a say, but what about the rest of the world that wants us to "fit in" or to be a certain way? What about all those people who want us to do what they want?

If people only knew the daily trials we have to face. This is not a "poor me" mind-set. It is simply an awareness as to what we are thinking. Sometimes it's so confusing being a millennial and not knowing how to act, who you are, what you want, and if you should think this way or think that way. There are the friends, the teachers, the parents, the bosses, and everyone else telling us what to do. Oh, and let's not forget the magazines and the movies we watch with our friends that are full of what our society forces us to be. There are so many hidden expectations today in the media that unconsciously make us feel like we have to live up to them.

The stereotypes swarming around us as a generation are so unfair. We constantly feel as if we have to prove ourselves in the workplace because we are younger. Before we are even out of college, we need to have a significant amount of experience for business owners to even give us a shot. And what about the millennials who want to be successful—those of us who are driven and focused, who really have a heart to do something great in our world, and are criticized and hindered because of our age?

Although there are exceptions to every rule, this seems to be our reality. And how we can start to change it is to first start believing that we are more than just a generation. We are more than just people who don't want to work, and we are more than what our resumes say. What other generations don't know about us is that we have many tools and resources to help them out. We know how to use technology to its greatest capacity; our youth is a major advantage, not a crutch.

Since we're all individuals, we all have different experiences. And maybe you're reading about all these millennial challenges and thinking, "No, that's not true," or "I haven't experienced that yet in my life." I would still strongly urge you to keep reading, because there are some indispensable techniques and topics that I'll explore on how you can catapult yourself to a higher level than where you are already.

In order to do that, it is important to understand where we come from and to examine our stories to figure out how our origins have played a role in the lives we live today. You have a different story than I have and come from a different family, but it is just as important that you identify with your past and first go back to your story. Our stories are a big part of who we are.

Some of us have families who are there through thick and thin—moms and dads who have given us everything, loved us unconditionally, taught us how to make smart and healthy decisions, guided us toward the right direction, and all around supported us in life. On the other hand, some of us come from families who treated us poorly, looked down on us, discouraged us, pointed out every single thing we did wrong, never helped us, and consistently told us that we couldn't do what we wanted to do or what we should have done. Of course, some of us have had families that just weren't around at all. You didn't see your parents that much. They worked a lot, didn't have much to say, and rarely asked what you were feeling.

Whatever our upbringing, whether as children or in our current living situations, we can all learn, we can all grow, and we can all be successful leaders in the years to come if we just make the decision to do so. We have to start by looking at the stories of how we were raised and where we came from so that we can accept it, heal from it (if we have to), and move on to our exciting future. As I share my story with you, start thinking about your story and how it might have affected who you are today. What kinds of hurts are you holding on to that keep you from being you? How do you think your story has impacted your life? Think deeply. Start to open your mind to the creation of your dreams.

My Story

I'll go first. My story begins in a small town in Michigan. I was an outspoken kid. I always said what was on my mind when I was younger, and it frequently got me into trouble. I was raised in what you might call a dysfunctional family, but then again, there are many families who are dysfunctional in their own way. When I was ten years old, my mother told me that my stepfather at the time wasn't my biological dad, that she didn't know where my biological father lived, and that she didn't have contact with him because they had split up when they were younger.

My childhood was anything but an easy road; it was a life of struggle, and my successes were not just handed to me. Many times I felt like the protector of my family, because I was always the most assertive. I tried to take care of my siblings emotionally, and it became a burden that was heavy to carry. Growing up without my real father in my life was a true battle, because a lot of the time, I felt as if I had to do everything on my own, and I could never really rest.

Time and time again, I felt as if I had to fight for my freedom as a child. I had no control over anything, and all I really yearned for was love. As more and more discouragement came my way, I grew stronger and stronger. Little did I know that I was building up wall after wall, stuffing down feelings on top of other feelings. My mother is a saint. She has compassion for others that I've never seen before. Although my mother is a sensational woman, she was emotionally limited, and as a result I continuously felt alone. On the other hand, I feel as if my mother's love for me was the only thing that got me through. She is an amazing woman who has a strong faith, but unfortunately her fear overruled her faith when I was growing up. I watched as my mother put her real feelings and voice into her shell, leaving her feeling powerless. All she has ever wanted was peace in her family, love for her kids, and for someone to love her and her children.

I felt as a child like I was walking on eggshells and anything I said would be wrong or shot down. This made me not sad but angry, and over the years I started to become a very angry young adult. After a series of interesting events, at age fifteen I met my biological father. It was at that time that I realized the severity of my anger and how much it was holding me back from having the life that I always dreamed of. With the help of my mother, I began attending therapy and kept with it until I finally learned to release my anger and start to soar toward my dreams.

It was during my time in therapy that I began to turn my life around. Then, without even realizing it at the time, I noticed that things started to go extremely well for me in a very short period of time. As I started to progress into my adult years, I realized how my age was really affecting the way people treated me. I had entered the business world at age eighteen, faced a lot of trials, and constantly had to overcome credibility issues with other professionals and adults. This frustrated me because I felt like it was holding me back, and I always thought I had to wait to be successful until I was "older" and had more "life experience."

After attending a live Tony Robbins seminar when I was nineteen, I signed a contract with a life coach. It was, and still is, one of the best choices I've ever made. She told me to start asking myself how I could be resourceful, as opposed to thinking that my age was a problem. Then one day, my vision vividly became so real for me that I had to do something about it. I knew then that I had to put my passion on paper. This idea became the focus for my book, stemming from my own frustration over being "heard," but also from my passion for helping young adults like myself succeed in life and avoid any stereotypes that might hold them back from making their dreams come true.

The road to discovering my passion wasn't easy. There were moments when I experienced pure joy, when I felt more love than I ever had before. I am aware that there are plenty of other individuals who have experienced far worse than I ever did. I just want to be clear that I did not have an easy road; success was not handed to me on a silver platter. I had to work hard, love hard, and believe in myself to press through all of the hurts that I experienced. I know there is someone out there who will read this book, at least one person, who will become a better person from my experiences, and that is enough for me.

Your Story

Although I do not know who you are, I do know that you have a story too. What is your story like? What were your parents like? Do you feel confident about your future because of how you grew up? Have you had some hard times? How about the fun times? What is an amazing memory you will never forget? Write down some of the crucial moments in your life that made you who you are today. Even if it's one thing, go ahead and write some of the answers to these questions down.

We don't have to live in our past (I'll talk more about that in chapter 13), but it is important to realize that how you grew up has a big impact on the desires that you have for your life today. And you still may be in the process of "growing up." You may not think you have any desires or a care in the world, but your past still has an influence on what you think and feel today.

Our past experiences have a lot to do with the development of our personality and who we will become. However, we don't have to allow those experiences to define who we are. Okay, this is the only time I'm going to tell you to stop reading and really think about your story. Jot down memories you have that are important to you. Write down exciting memories, painful memories, memories where you experienced a lot of laughter, or memories with a lot of tears, whatever you want. Write at least a couple. Go!

So I just have to trust that you have written down some of these answers. Now, what I want you to do is throw that piece of paper away like you have never thrown a piece of paper away before! Tear it up, rip it up, run it under water, shred it, do whatever you want. Just get rid of it! Everything in your life up to the point of you reading this book is gone; you will never get it back again. Stay with me as I uncover some of the most important truths we can know as a generation and as individuals.

Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future. —John F. Kennedy

Okay, now let's turn our eyes to the future (the next page) and start to prepare something exciting for you.

Opportunities for Millennials

Being a millennial myself, I would be lying if I said I haven't checked my cell phone at least five times while writing this chapter. Let's face it: technology has advanced at an unimaginable pace over the years and still is advancing more rapidly than we can ever imagine. Today, more iPhones are sold in a day than babies are born! There are over 1.8 million smartphones being made a day, and by the time you pick up and read this book it will probably be more than that.

It is no secret that technology runs our world , and even though it is an aggravating thing sometimes when you lose a signal or power, it is still fascinating. Now, let me specify what I mean by technology: our cell phones, our computers, our Kindles, our iPods, and even more specifically, Facebook, Twitter, Vine, YouTube, LinkedIn, Instagram, and so many others that I am probably missing.

Technology has given us so many gifts. Answers are at our fingertips because of Google. I am horrible with directions, and because of Siri and GPS, I can relax and know that I will get to where I am going without ever having to read a map. I can connect with people through pictures and chats. We have so many "i's" nowadays: iMacs, iPhones, iPods, iPads. We have sync in our cars and on our phones. You see? Technology is involved in every aspect of our lives. There is nothing that technology is not involved in, and that is amazing!

Do you have any idea how much easier our lives are in this generation as millennials? We can't even remember the days when we had to go to the Yellow Pages to find a phone number or search for hours to find answers to simple questions that you can now just ask your computer. Heck, my mom still remembers when computers weren't around and it took her hours to find a piece of research. Let me just give you a picture:

Millennials Our Parents

• Google • Library
• Cell phones • Phone book, one family
phone, pay phones
• Computers • Books
• Online marketing, • Fliers, word of mouth
Internet
• Flat screens, BlueRay, • VCRs just came out
color TV
• Easier opportunities • Harder to find
opportunities
• GPS • Paper maps

It's no secret that we're growing up in thriving times. And in a way, we have it much easier than our parents did, considering everything we ever need is right at our fingertips all the time. I mean, come on, could you imagine waiting to make a call on the family phone? That is no way we would live today!

My point with all of this is that we do not realize how many opportunities we have with technology. There are so many doors open for us when we live in a day and age of online marketing, where you can buy or sell anything online. On YouTube, people are becoming famous by simply uploading a video and getting so much exposure in the form of views. We can even read and write books online. There are templates to have our own website, there are blogs we can find and read specific information to feed our minds, and finally, there's Facebook, which as everyone knows is there to stay connected with our friends.