The Perfect Gift of Life

Denver was thirty-seven years old, and he knew his sister Emily was sick and dying from a kidney problem. He never took into consideration the impact his sister's death would bring into his life until he realized the perfect gift of life.

Denver chose to donate a kidney to his only sister, who happened to be suffering with hypertension and diabetes mellitus. It was very sad on Emily's part. After months of testing, the doctor completely got the exact match they were looking for. From the day of the surgery, Denver's and Emily's lives have been changed forever. Denver wants his loving sister to live a healthy and happy life ever after.

He was so astounded that he was able to make a difference in his sister's life and now his sister was much better after a long time. Emily was very happy to be back on her feet, this time for good; she did appreciate everything her brother had done for her, and she was amazed that she was feeling better. The truth is we must appreciate our lives and others' lives; we don't give life to people, so don't take it away from them. For them as much as you, life is a perfect gift. Same goes to the others.

We need to respect others; in life, whatever you don't want people to do, you don't do it to them. It only took Denver to be caring, loving, heartfelt, and unselfish, and he understood that it could have been him pleading for help. We must really try to understand the life we live in order to make a difference. On earth, there is no room for selfishness; it tears men apart, especially when they are for themselves only.

This life that has been given to us as a gift, as such a precious gift. (To really try to understand it, really try to recognize it, it is the greatest meditation. Through the media of this Knowledge we can tap into our inner sources that are so beautiful. (Prem Rawat)

Ask Yourself the Question, "How to Deal with a Problem in Life?"

In life, whenever we are faced with a problem, whenever we are under pressure, under stress, we need to understand that it all comes and goes; nothing last forever. We need to learn noninterference; we need to be in control of our problems and the circumstances we face and just let it be. If we can change the problem, good, if not, changing our attitude toward the problem is the best thing we can do for ourselves. Whenever we are confronted with a problem, we need to accept the fact that we can't always control what's happening to us—accept the facts and allow thing to just flow. Try to observe what thoughts go through your mind, observe your feelings, and try to understand why you are feeling the way you do. Sometimes tell yourself how you should deal with the problem that comes your way.

You must learn from all the problems faced in your past and present lives. I am not always pleased with it, but I am patient with myself for I know that in time I will get better and better at everything I do, as long I still live. We must remember that we will always be faced with difficulties, but just be calm and stay focused and you will be the person you were meant to be with effort.

Never look at a problem as a problem, but rather consider it as a project you need to work on to improve your standard way of living and get to know yourself much better and make a difference in life.

And once the storm is over, you won't remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won't even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won't be the same person who walked in. That's what this storm's all about. (Haruki Murakami)

Put a Positive Thought to It

The word "thought" has many meanings, but the one for making a difference is "reasoning." As a teenager growing older some people said what they thought was right, whether it may sound negative or positive. Putting a positive thought to any event, circumstance, and challenge of your life can become one of the most important habits you can incorporate into your life as an individual. In fact, in the absence of this habit, virtually anything big or small has the power to frustrate you. So many of our experiences depend heavily on how we approach the situation. There's a story of two gentleman; they were laborers who had identical jobs. Someone asked the men, "What is it that you do?" One of them answered in a negative tone, "I stand every day, excavating trenches to build houses." The other man responded quite differently. He said in a confident, upbeat manner, "I am a laborer. I help clean the building sites, dig trenches to build all the beautiful houses you can see around you."

There was this couple who had lost everything they owned in a horrible tsunami. They decided to start over and said that they will have a beautiful house again. The truth is they did put a positive thought to it literally. It's easy; you can take almost any situation and look at it two ways. There always will be a positive and negative side to it. It's better to take the positive side and look for what's in it for you—any hidden gifts that might be found—and for what you can learn from it.

Obviously, reading this strategy doesn't mean you'll always be able to look at events from a more positive perspective (I can't either), but it's sure comforting to know that the possibility exits. One can say, "Oh, sure, that's too much dispensing in the sky every morning," but you might want to ask yourself, "What options do I have?" The only option we're aware of is being negative and putting a defeatist, pessimistic thought to it. But when you think about it, it's not a good option. All this does is make any situation worse and harder to deal with than it is already. It also tends to make everyone around you feel depressed, angry, and insecure, and it decreases your chances of getting through the situation gracefully or effectively to make a change in life.

Our experience has been that whenever we are able to put a positive thought to any situation—whatever it is, good or bad—it helps us to grow as an individual. Come up with positive solutions and keep things in perspective. Remember that it is important to know your surroundings as well as yourself and stay away from negative people because they can easily influence you.

In order to put or carry a positive action we must develop here a positive vision. (Dalai Lama)

Don't Make a Stupid Thing a Problem

The strategy speaks right about the heart of the matter. Not making things a problem is another way you can make certain changes in life. Yet we see it all the time—people argue over who misplaced a knife, who will clean the house, who is going to cook food today and go to the market to shop for the house. The truth is people argue over everything: who is the best driver or the more dedicated one. Religion and politics are the two major topics discussed today among human beings.

People get furious over having to wait a few minutes; especially children get angry when their parents tell them that they will be coming home soon from work. We even knew a boy who started a fight with his younger brother because his brother misplaced an eraser! Wow! What can possibly be more significant than that? Like I mentioned in my other chapters, you can't run away from problems, but try not to make stupid issues a problem. Just ignore petty things and move on with your life; make a difference. Why do you want to be by someone who always makes things a problem? It's not fun, and it's incredibly stressful (I do it sometimes as a joke).

The solution is really simple; mostly it involves intention. Ask yourself, "Do I always have to make stupid things a problem?" Just be humble and realistic and see a change going.

Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning. (Albert Einstein)

Cast Away Jealousy and Hypocrisy

Trying to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.

The life other people live, we must not be jealous of it. Period. In fact, there is almost nothing that suffocates a good feeling between families and people with more certainty than jealousy. It is, however, one of the easiest human emotions to understand. It stems from insecurity, and insecurity comes from feelings and thoughts of inadequacy.

One of the ways a person can create feelings of inadequacy is to first compare himself or herself to others. This in turn leads to a whole lot of hypocrisy. Some people, however, take it to the extreme and may not even be aware of it. Sad. I think it is time to stop the hypocrisy and jealousy. It's apparent, and yes, people do recognize it. I think that these energies should be put into desiring, to see a miraculous moving of the spirit as well.

There seem to be two essential ingredients that will help you cast jealousy out of your life. First and foremost, it's important to accept the fact that there is and will always be someone out there who has something you don't and will never have; it can be money, better looks, greater charisma, even better achievements or whatever, but so what! Good for them. Stop comparing and you will be amazed how much better you will feel about yourself.

Remember, you have also been gifted with unique talents and attributes that others don't enjoy, so spend your mental energy focusing on these gifts and be grateful for your own ability to make contributions and a difference in life. Life is one big road with lots of signs, so when you ride through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. Flee from jealousy and make a change.

Life is one big road with lots of signs, so when you ride through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy. Don't bury your thoughts; put your vision to reality. Wake up and live. (Bob Marley)

Don't Do the Same Things and Expect to Get Different Results

We have an aquarium at home; I observed a beautiful thing while watching it. For about one hour, we watched a beautiful turtle swimming gracefully around the same tank. Each time the turtle would pass by a certain spot, she would bump her head and fin into the glass, in exactly the same way all the times. The situation was clear that she wasn't being hurt, but it did appear to an untrained eye as though each time she hit the glass, she was quite surprised. The truth is she was too big for the aquarium. Of course, it was bad on our part, but the point to understand is that she tried to do the same thing all the time and got the same results.

I once heard someone describing the definition of insanity as "doing the same thing over and over and expecting to get stunning results," and while I pretended to know what the turtle was attempting to accomplish and, would therefore never call her insane, it does seem to be a certain login to flat definition when applied to us human beings, typically when it comes to making a change.

However, do we overact, get frustrated, think before we act, and know our boundaries and values? We always tend to use the same techniques and expect something different, but that's not how it works. If a technique is not working for you, then try your best to manipulate, especially people, to get a different result; it's not always easy, but you will get great results.

Stop repeating your useless actions and expect the resulting actions to be useful. (Stanley T. Justin)

Balance the Act

For most young people, life has become so crazy that they, as individuals, need to balance the act. People are speeding up; they are frenetic, nervous, and anxious about time and accomplishing tasks and doing things at an alarming rate. Technology seems to help now because many young people have modern conveniences and time-saving gadgets, but few of us have enough time. Some people tend to ignore what's happening in their own family, house, and office and prefer to talk about people's businesses or endeavors rather than put in some effort to make a difference in their own lives. This is the case; we must conclude that at least a portion of our inner turmoil comes from within ourselves and the way we choose to live.

It's important to ask ourselves whether we really want to spend our ample time arguing, gossiping, or doing what's not necessary and treat life as an emergency and focus more on our part. When we are out of balance, we discover our health, family scrambling and our life is in turmoil. We end up in a rush and are forgetful and extremely frustrated. Creating a sense of balance, however, seems to mitigate these sensations and replaces them with feelings of peace and a sense that it's good to be alive.

A typical way to think of balance as it relates to our life is as a pendulum swinging back and forth; its ideal location is dead center and perfectly balanced. As it swings too far off to the left, you must make a few adjustments, enabling it to swing back to the right and to find center of origin; again it's not always easy. The best way to know you are doing is to see how you feel. If it tends to make you feel peaceful and centered, you're probably relatively close to center, on track, and making good choices, but on the other hand, when you feel scattered or overwhelmed, you're probably off-center and need to make a little adjustments. Remember that everything in life needs to be balanced, and I know it's very difficult. But any efforts made in this regard will be worth the efforts.

To survive in the world, we have to act in concert with others, but to survive as ourselves, rather than simply as cogs in a wheel, we have to act alone. (Deborah Tannen)

Be a First-Class Observer

Being a first-class observer is not an easy task; period. Not everyone can be a good observer. In life, while growing older, I was reluctantly concerned about how I see life. Most of the work is done for you when you observe. You will be amazed all the things happening in society in behind your back in relationships, at work, in church—the list goes on. People tend to be your friend and backstab you later. Most importantly, seating comfortably on people's words "I will do it for you, okay?" You wait tirelessly and endlessly, but the truth is, it won't happen. People need to be very careful in life; the same people that make you will try to break you. So much of our experience depends on what we see out there today, and it's up to you to act according to what you see, make adjustments.

Life is a serious journey. People will do all sorts of things to get to you; it's a journey where individuals learn from their mistakes. Tessa said that her past days had been crazy for her. She was under a lot of pressure, stress, and influenced. She truly learned so much about herself again. Most people think they know each other well until they really see what that person is doing or even capable of doing. You tend to discover unique things about yourself day by day, especially when you're in a situation and you find out how you can deal with stress levels, thoughts, and emotions. I say that it is very important to observe everything around you. When I first encountered a situation, I didn't know how to organize myself without being overwhelmed and how to manage my time in order to get it all done.

Remember, it's not always good to stay in your comfort zone; it's always good to explore and see different things in life. It can change many things, especially the way you view people thinking as if them for you and they are not.

Half of the things learned in your life are by observing and you can't go wrong. (Stanley T. Justin)