The Lost Gremlin World of Froglim (Paperback)

Paperback. You know what Romance Is Like That didn't need? A sequel. You know what else it didn't need? A prequel about a civilization of microscopic gremlins living inside Caroline's rectum. Yet, here we are. And for that I am terribly sorry. The fantastical adventure of The Lost Gremlin World of Froglim starts with your favourite lovebirds, Dave and Caroline, going for a hike. Their plan to have the best picnic is quickly ruined because it's a prequel, which means Brenda is alive. I am also sorry about that. Not only does Brenda put a damper on what would have been romantic memories, but Caroline falls down an embankment and winds up getting a stick wedged inside her rectum. Ouchies. And that's when the magic begins, because that stick is where a mythical race of gremlins called home. For story-wise, that's promising, because everyone knows every amazing story begins with some sort of penetration. The Froglimians must adapt to their new environment. They are an adverse species who never quit and are up to the impossible task of rebuilding Froglim. Things seem to go well until they find out what a pain in the ass residing in an organism with an immune system can be. Caroline's white blood cells waste no time threatening their entire existence. If you know how an immune system works, you understand why. Luckily for our merry band of gremlin friends, they meet the deity of Caroline's digestive system - Dia and Rrhea. They're fecal goddesses, and get this, they're also conjoined twins; together they stand with the Froglimians to fight off the evil Neutrophils. Don't worry. This fantasy is also a romance because Dandyfunk, the main protagonist, falls in love with Rrhea. You're probably wondering how that's possible. It just is. Dia isn't happy about it either, okay. Listen. If you're not interested in reading about a gremlin falling in love with poo and giving her all the kisses, then this book isn't for you. What I can tell you, though, is that The Lost Gremlin World of Froglim has a giant cast of loveable characters, you'll adore. I'm not lying. Lobscouse alone makes this book worth risking your will to read ever again, and very likely your libido as well. Self-sabotaging yourself has never been so fun. I am aware this synopsis is bloody terrible, but what do you expect? It's a story about literal microscopic gremlins living inside a woman's bum. What could I possibly say for you to be like, "Yes, this is the book for me."? Exactly. However, if you keep your expectations low enough, you might be pleasantly surprised by how amazing I am at world-building. I mean, as far as making it seem like a rectum is a habitable place for tiny creatures to thrive, I think I did pretty good. Fortunately for me, The Lost Gremlin World of Froglim is a direct prequel to Romance Is Like That, which, unfortunately for you, means there's a sense of obligation that you have to read it. Hey, don't be mad. We both knew this day would eventually come. Well, there you have it, a poorly-constructed explanation of what you're about to waste your money on. All that's left is ending this with a catchy one-liner. Will the Froglimians be exterminated, or will they live crappily ever after? If you read this book, you'll find out. Perfect. This item is printed on demand. Shipping may be from our UK warehouse or from our Australian or US warehouses, depending on stock availability.…