Living in the Shadow of Death: Discovering Meaning & Purpose in the Battle Against Cancer

Cancer … The very word arouses anguish and great distress in the minds of those who receive such a diagnosis; as well as the people who love them. Many are easily overwhelmed by the potential dreadfulness of the disease, which may well include death. Obviously, a diagnosis of cancer is a serious matter. For many patients and loved ones, cancer comes to define who they are. It becomes their life focus, robbing them of much more than just physical health. In some ways, their life becomes a living death. Living in this state of ongoing self-bereavement causes one to focus on the looming possibility of death and dying, rather than treasuring what life remains and living it to the max. Not only is this a great tragedy, it doesn't have to be that way. It is a choice every cancer patient and their significant others are forced to make. A primary objective of this book is to help victims of cancer make the choice to live, & not just survive while waiting to die. I will tell you my story and the stories of others who have made this choice to live. Some of what you read will be grim and unpleasant, as I will not couch the awfulness of it all in a shroud of “pleasant-speak”. You will know what it’s really like for the patient, their loved ones and caregivers. You may well discover information, understanding and strategies which can serve to assist you (or someone you know) get through the battle with cancer emotionally, mentally and spiritually intact. You may well find a new hope if you have become hopeless. You may discover a renewed purpose if your life has become purposeless. You may become motivated to “rise above it” rather than be crushed under the oppressive weight which many have come to fear so much. From the Author: Living in the Shadow of Death is the chronological accounting of my battle against cancer. It begins with the onset of symptoms and then moves through the processes of diagnosis, treatment, surgery, additional treatment and life after treatment. The span of time covered is about twenty-eight months. It is neither my intent nor purpose to tell a sad tale of woe to invoke sympathy from the reader but rather to tell what it’s really like to go through the dreadful torment of cancer for both the patient and their loved ones. My story is similar to many yet very different from others. Each person’s struggle with this disease is unique unto themselves. When my journey with cancer began, I knew almost nothing about it. I had no idea what it is, the purpose of the treatments, what to expect in both the short and long term, etc. To make matters worse, too often I didn’t know what questions to ask or was too embarrassed to ask those I did think of. I think to some extent at least, I didn’t let myself believe the damage caused by the tumor or the myriad of side-effects from treatment could affect me to the extent they have. These things happen to others, not to me. I was wrong. As things progress, the new reality of cancer besieges me without mercy. Early on I have to summon every resource possible to survive wretched misery which became my life. It"s a mental, emotional and spiritual battle as much as it is physical, if not more so. For those reasons, I have included sections throughout the book and at the end of most chapters sharing information, details, resources and strategies for the benefit of cancer patients, caregivers and loved ones. If you or a loved one find yourselves facing the awfulness of cancer, you are not in it alone. Millions have walked this journey before you & millions more are walking with you now; including me. The words on the pages are not theory or speculation, they are my life. I share them with you in the hope of helping you avoid the same mistakes I made, equipping you with resources and inspiration, and aiding you in finding the courage to fight the battle of Living in the Shadow of Death of cancer and emerge victorious. This is chronicle of survival. ~ Paul