CHAPTER 1

Tap.... Tap ... Tap ...

It was the first time Julio had seen The Mother's walking stick upclose. It looked like a broom-handle that cost a lot of money. It had arubber tip on one end, but it was the other end that he couldn't take hiseyes off.

Tap ... Tap ... Tap ...

It was that end The Mother kept hitting against the table evenwhen nobody was talking. But it wasn't the hitting that made himnervous, it was the shape of that end of the walking stick. It was like ahook, big enough to grab him around the neck. All The Mother had todo was reach across the table and she could grab him or Rosa and pulltheir heads off. This was the first time he ever saw The Mother up closeand he didn't like what he saw. A few times he saw her walking aroundthe church going from one building to another building. The first timehe saw her he thought she had three legs, until he realized that oneof her legs was the walking stick. Now, up close, he could only thinkof a pumpkin. That's what her face looked like under her Nun's hat, acabeza with the face of a dead fish just before they cut its head off. Hercheeks were so puffy he thought any minute they would explode.

His sister Rosa was next to him and she was wearing long pants, too.She also had on a white blouse he had never seen before this morningwhen Sister Regina gave them these new clothes. Rosa held his hand.Each time he tried to take it away she pulled it back. He knew Rosa wasmad and scared. All he had to do was look at her lips.

Tap ... Tap ... Tap ...

Julio had never before been in The Mother's office. He was sureRosa had never been there either. You went to The Mother's office ifyou were caught stealing or talked fresh to a nun. He never did thosethings. He and Rosa stayed pretty much to themselves. They had onlya few friends.

It was a big room with a big wooden table in the center. There wasa lamp at each end of the table and a big rug nobody would step on.There were two chairs on the floor in front of the rug that faced TheMother's table. It was where he and Rosa sat. Everybody else stood inback of the rug. He only recognized Sister Regina and Sister Margaret.He didn't know anybody else. All of them walked around the sidesto get to the back. A big cross hung on the wall behind The Mother.Stacks of red folders in neat piles were on either side of her. Each redfolder had a different kid's name on it. If The Mother decided to sitbehind the folders you couldn't see her. Julio wondered what wouldhappen if all those folders fell to the floor.

If that happened, I wouldn't want to be in the same room with TheMother, he was thinking. She'd probably kill somebody with her walkingstick. He also couldn't remember ever seeing The Mother smile.

Tap ... Tap ... Tap ...

Every so often Julio would turn his head and look at Sister Reginawho kept rubbing her eyes, still red from crying. The Mother, stifflyseated behind the table, stared at Sister Regina. If he didn't know better,he'd think The Mother wasn't breathing. He couldn't remember seeingher eyes blink or her lips move, only her cheeks went in and out. Nobodytalked. He wished somebody would say something.

He didn't know how long they had been in The Mother's office.

"We don't want to go. We want to stay here. We ..." Rosa wasyelling, "We never did ..." and suddenly the walking stick came crackingdown across the table, the hook part almost hitting Rosa. Julio jumpedand grabbed it away from The Mother and was about to swing it at herwhen he was pushed to the ground and the walking stick pulled out ofhis hands.

"Let me go, let me go," he was screaming. "Nobody, nobody hit mysister. I kill anybody that try to hurt Rosa."

"Julio, stop, calm down. Nobody try to hurt Rosa." He recognizedSister Regina's voice. She was sitting on him so he couldn't move."I can't let you up unless you promise to sit in the chair and be still.Promise me."

"I kill anybody that try to hurt Rosa. I don't care if it The Motheror a priest or anybody. Nobody try to hurt Rosa." Julio could actuallyfeel his heart jumping in his chest.

"Nobody try to hurt Rosa. The Mother just banged the table,"Sister Regina brought her face up close so he could see her. "She wasnot trying to hurt Rosa." Both her hands were on his cheeks. "Nowcalm down so I can let you go. Promise me you'll just sit in the chairand be good."

"Why they sending us away?"

Sister Regina didn't answer him, but after, he didn't know how long,she let him up and put him back in the chair. Rosa grabbed his handand he could see the look on her face that said we better just do whatthey want.

* * *

Today he was eleven. He thought nobody remembered, not evenhis sister, Rosa. Two months ago, when she was fourteen, he wished herhappy birthday. About an hour ago, maybe even more, Sister Reginasuddenly appeared in the doorway of their room. She was holdingsomething folded in her arms.

"This is for you, Julio. Happy Birthday," she said.

It was a pair of long pants. He never had a pair of long pants. OnTV he watched sheriffs, farmers, big people wear long pants. In histown, rich people wore long pants when they went to church. In thecity, Blancos wore long pants when they went to work. They even worejackets that looked just like the long pants. They all looked like the oldpeople in his village the day they bury them. In his village, the only timeanybody wore a jacket that was the same as the long pants was the daythey put them in the ground.

He suddenly remembered what Sister Regina told him a long timeago. "Someday, when you go to San Juan, we buy you long pants." Whenhe looked up at her, she wasn't smiling. He start to think he wasn'tgoing to like this birthday present.

In the mountains of Puerto Rico, where he lived, picking coffeebeans and bananas, doing his jobs at the orphanage, going to school,he didn't need long pants. Going to church didn't mean you dressed up.The Sisters only made you take a bath and put on clean clothes.

"Today you and Rosa go to San Juan, then New York," Sister Reginasaid and then also handed him a new white shirt with a long pointedcollar. "You go live with relatives in New York," she continued.

"I don't want to go to New York. I don't want to go to San Juan. Ilike it here," Julio screamed.

"No, No. Calm down," She put her hand on his head like the priestwhen he give you abso something. "Here no good for you and Rosa.In New York you in a big city. You go to big schools. You live in a bighouse. Everything is big in New York. It will be better, you will see."

He looked at Rosa. She said nothing, but her lips were squeezedtogether and her eyes so wide open that her whole head was out ofshape. Rosa always looked like that when she was mad or scared. Hestarted to say something to Sister Regina, but stopped, when he sawshe was crying. If everything so good, so big in New York, why she cryingwhen she give me these long pants and new shirt? Besides, he didn't likethe idea of living with somebody he didn't know. He liked living herewith Sister Regina and most of the other nuns. A long time ago, beforehe could walk, Sister Regina told Rosa their mother and father werekilled in an accident. She told Rosa they had no relatives and that iswhy they live here with the nuns.

"How come all of a sudden we got relatives?" he asked SisterRegina.

"You get dressed now in your new pants and shirt. The Mother iswaiting," Sister Regina said, at the same time wiping her eyes with thesleeve of her uniform. She didn't answer his question as she walked outof the room.

* * *

"I'm sorry I'm late, Mother Magdalene." A man's voice came frombehind them. "A donkey cart overturned on the mountain road andwe had to wait for them to clear it. There was no room for the van topass."

"Will you make the airplane?" The Mother asked.

It was the first words Julio heard The Mother speak.

"If we leave right away," he answered.

The man walked around the rug and handed the Mother an envelope.Julio saw he was wearing long pants and a jacket that matched—likethose Blancos who work in the city. He wore a white shirt with a collarlike his. A pink necktie hung down the front. It looked like a donkey'stongue. At least he didn't have to wear something that looked like adonkey's tongue.

This guy look like he is ready to be buried in the cemetery," Juliothought.

The Mother nodded her head.

"Follow me," the man said.

Sister Regina grabbed both of them and buried their heads underthe folds of her uniform.

"Come. Come. Or we miss the airplane," the man said as he tookthem from Sister Regina.

Julio quickly glanced back to where The Mother was sitting behindher desk. He would always remember her cabeza de calabaza, but a leastshe wasn't tapping the desk with her walking stick.

* * *

Julio never felt so uncomfortable. The afternoon sun burned brightand fiery. It hung low almost touching the hills on either side of theairport. Where he lived in the mountains, the sun was smaller and morefar away. He could see wavy lines of heat coming off the runway. Thethick air hung over him like when he helped in the laundry room at theorphanage. Out on the runway the sun bounced off the airplane door.It hurt his eyes to look at it.

Maybe this is what Sister Regina meant when she told him, so manytimes, that if he was bad he would walk through the door to hell.

Where he lived in the mountains he could always find shade anda cool breeze. The sun was warming hot, not sticky hot like here inthe valley. He strained his eyes to see all of the big airplane. A metalbird—that's what it was. Bigger than anything he had ever seen. Hewasn't scared, but he did feel funny. He didn't like not knowing whatwas going to happen to him. Until today, when he wake up everymorning, he know pretty much how his day would be.

How will they get this metal bird up in the air? Its wings don't flap.

Rosa motioned him to grab one end of the suitcase while she heldthe other. From the time they left the orphanage, Rosa did not let gohis hand. Now she needed help to get the suitcase on the airplane.There were no good-byes. No hugs. Nobody kissing anybody likeon TV. Nobody telling he and Rosa anything. Two nuns, he hardlyknew, handed them over to a blanco lady dressed in `blue'. He was madSister Regina didn't come to say good-bye. The `blue' lady signed somepapers. He didn't understand why she was always smiling. He couldn'tsee anything funny. And she smelled bad, too. A funny, sweet smell. Itwasn't flowers or candy. Her smell made the thick air more sticky.

The `blue' lady tried to help Rosa with the suitcase, but Rosawouldn't let her. Rosa pushed aside the `blue' lady's hand and staredat her. The same stare she gave Julio when she was mad. The samelips held tight together with all those lines. But his smile was alwaysstronger than her stare. She never stayed mad at him long. The suitcaseheld everything they owned. She would trust it to nobody, especiallythis funny smelling blanco lady who just keeps smiling.

The big airplane grew even bigger as he and Rosa walked under itswing. Under the hot sun, his eyes hurt when he tried to open them wider.The airplane got so big, he couldn't see it all. He still wasn't afraid, andeven if he was, he couldn't let Rosa know. Many times, from the top ofhis favorite hill, he looked up at these metal birds with wings that didn'tflap—watched them fly over his mountains until they disappeared. Henever thought he would ever go in one and look down from where Godlived. As he and Rosa climbed the stairs to the airplane, a sudden gustof cool air blew across his face. For the first time he smiled. For the firsttime since he left the orphanage he felt maybe it won't be so bad.

"My hill come down to say good-bye," he thought to himself. The`blue' lady showed them two seats near where the pilot flew the airplane.She pinned a big card covered in plastic on his shirt, careful not tostick the pin into his skin. He could make out his name, Julio Marinoand another name, Carmen something or other, followed by numbers.Rosa's card had the same writing on it. The `blue' lady went away, butcame right back. This time she leaned over Rosa and pinned somemetal wings on his long pointed shirt collar. She kissed him on thecheek while running her hand through his messy hair. As she backedaway, still smiling, she also kissed Rosa and proceeded to snap beltsaround their waists. This scared him. The belt made him feel like injail. He didn't like anybody taking away his freedom to move around.Even on the orphanage bus, he would open the seat belt as soon as thenun finished inspecting them. But, like the nuns at the orphanage, the`blue' lady wore a uniform. He trusted ladies in uniforms. Besides, inthe cooler airplane, the sweet smell from the `blue' lady wasn't so bad.

Julio didn't know what to expect as the airplane started down therunway. Faster and faster the ground went past. Louder and louderthe engine noise made his ears hurt. He was scared again, but Rosa'stight grip on his hand told him he had to be brave. He knew Rosa wasscared, too. He couldn't remember if she ever let go his hand since theycome on the airplane.

Julio turned to his sister. "Rosa, don't be scared." He put his handover hers and brought them both up to his cheek. "I see these airplanesfly over my hill all the time. I never see one fall to the ground."

Rosa didn't turn to look at him. Suddenly they were in the air. Hecouldn't figure out how the airplane left the ground without flappingits wings.

"Look Rosa. The ocean. We fly over the ocean. We see the oceanlike a bird sees the ocean. Oh look. Look at those waves rolling intothe beach."

And then he couldn't believe what happened. Everything got still.He was sitting—not moving—just sitting on white clouds. Nothingmoved. He couldn't figure out how he was supposed to be going so fastwhen outside his window everything was still. The clouds. The air. Thesky. Nothing moved. Those big clouds just sat there like white balls ofsteam he use to see come out of the power plant chimney on the otherside of the mountain.

"Rosa. Rosa. I swear ..." he finally broke his hands from hers."Rosa, I swear—I think I just see God in that cloud."

The `blue' lady brought them food to eat, Coca Cola to drink andsome book with games. He didn't know how to read English so heput the book in the pocket of the back of the seat in front of him.Rosa grabbed his hand again, but she didn't say anything. She was justlooking straight ahead. He decided to leave her alone. He was happyjust to look out the window.

* * *

Suddenly a pain in his ears made everything real again. The airplanechanged position and pointed down. Rosa squeezed his hand so hardit hurt. His ears also hurt. Rosa's ears must hurt, too, he thought, so hedidn't tell her she was hurting his hand.

How much easier it would be if the metal bird could flap its wings, thenit wouldn't have to come down so fast.

Julio felt the wheels hit the ground. He turned to Rosa and gaveher a big smile. She smiled back. For the first time since they got onthe airplane, Rosa's lips relaxed. They had no lines. When the airplanestopped, the people flying with them stood up and opened doors abovetheir heads. They put on coats with big fur collars. The `blue' lady toldhim and Rosa to stay where they were. She pointed to their seats andgently held them down. Rosa still held his hand though she held it lesstight. Julio knew she was still scared. He lifted her hand to his mouthand kissed it. He thought maybe she would smile. She didn't. Her lipshad those lines again.