CHAPTER 1

This is the name God gave to Moses when Moses asked, "Who shall I tell them sent me", Exodus 3:13 &14. [13] And Moses said unto God, Behold, when I come unto the children of Israel, and shall say unto them, The God of your fathers hath sent me unto you; and they shall say to me, What is His name? What shall I say unto them?

[14] And God said unto Moses, I AM THAT I AM: and He said, Thus shalt thou say unto the children of Israel, I AM hath sent me unto you.

I understand this to mean, whatever you need me to be, I AM. Also, from God's perspective, whatever He needs to be to accomplish his work, He is. He is totally self sufficient. He does not need anyone or anything. He chooses to work through us, because He loves us and it results in blessings for us when He uses us.

This does not mean that He needs us in order to do His work. He does "delight" in us, His creation. Proverbs 8:[30] Then I was by Him, as one brought up with Him: and I was daily His delight, rejoicing always before Him;

It gives me a tremendous feeling of security and peace knowing that my God is able to take care of anything that comes against me. Isaiah 43:11 states, "I, even I, am the LORD; and beside me there is no saviour." Isaiah 9:6 states, "For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon His shoulder: and His name shall be called Wonderful; Counselor; The Mighty God; The Everlasting Father; The Prince of Peace."

This seems obvious to me that it is referring to our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ.

During the past thirty-six (36) years the Lord has revealed Himself in my life in many different ways. I have felt the Lord encouraging me to share much of what He has been and done for me so that others will know that He is still alive and well and continues to work in our lives as He did in the days of the early church.

All we need to do is to BELIEVE that He is real and He will answer us when we call.

As stated in Malachi 3:6 "For I am the LORD, I change not:", and Hebrews 13:8 "Jesus Christ the same yesterday, today, and for ever." This book is a part of the "dream" or vision, whichever you choose to call it, that He; the Great I AM has given me.

Psalm. 66:8 "O bless our God, ye people, and make the voice of His praise to be heard."

It is my prayer that my voice of His praise will encourage others to believe in our Great I AM

I have been a believer in God the Father, Son and the Holy Ghost, who are one, for as long as I can remember. My parents believed and told us that God created the heavens and the earth, but didn't really talk about their faith much. My mother did have several warnings of impending danger and because of one of these warnings, one of my brother's life was spared. She also had a personal spiritual deliverance from a deep depression which she was unable to pull herself out of. At the point of suicide she called out to Jesus and He delivered her. As I remember her telling me about it, when she went to bed she told the Lord that if He didn't help her, she feared that she would commit suicide. Suddenly she was aware of someone lifting her out of her bed and carrying her down a long hallway. There were closed doors on either side except for one door which was open slightly and a tiny bit of light shone out into the hallway. The person carried her into that room which had a long table in the center. He laid her on the table then left the room. She said there was just a tiny light in one corner in the ceiling and somehow she knew she had to keep her eyes on that light and that she would be safe.

Then she felt a whirling sensation in her chest. It began as a small circle and kept growing larger and faster. As the sensation increased so did the Light in the room. She said it continued until she felt as if her chest was about to explode and then it stopped and the room was full of Light. The person who brought her here returned; carried her back to her bed and left. She said the room was still full of Light and she thought she must have left her reading light on but as she reached up to turn off the light the room was dark. The depression was gone. She said she had never felt so happy in her life as she did at that moment and the joy continued into the next day.

When she awoke in the morning she still had that overwhelming joy and peace. The depression was gone and did not return! Praise Jesus! (John 6:8 Jesus said : I am the LIGHT of the world.)

I learned the basic Gospel at our local church, but somehow no one ever told me you had to invite Jesus into your heart and accept him as Lord of your life. This was explained to me by a Baptist gentleman who worked with a man I was currently living with. One day I saw this gentleman reading his Bible and I asked what he was reading. The end result of that conversation was that I accepted Christ not only as LORD, but as LORD of my life and invited Him into my heart. It was a very special moment for me and I cried. This took place in the summer of 1974.

I developed a hunger to know more about the Lord and wanted to get to know Him on a personal level. Within a month or two after I had acknowledged Jesus as LORD and invited Him into my heart to be LORD of my life, He revealed himself as my leader when He led me to a Spirit filled church. By this I mean a church that believes in the baptism of the Holy Ghost whereby the gifts are made manifest for believers today.

For the first time in my life I saw people doing what the Bible says believers should do.

(Mark 16: [17] And these signs shall follow them that believe; In my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues; [18] They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover.

I saw people being healed after they were anointed with oil and the pastor and others layed hands on them and prayed. They also spoke in tongues "As the Spirit gave them utterance". (Acts 2:4)

Years later I would see visions; experience dreams wherein the Lord spoke to me and the working of miracles besides being healed of ovarian cancer.

After leading us to the Spirit filled church, He convicted me of the sin in my life. I was living with a man outside of wedlock.

Psalm 23:3 states, "He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake." When we become born again (definition of a Christian), we are taking on his name and He expects us to walk uprightly before Him. Does this mean we live without sin? No, that is an impossibility. As long as we live in this human body we still have the sin nature. However, we also have the Holy Spirit within us to help us resist temptations. (Romans 7 :20-25)

I Peter 1:16 states, "Be ye holy; for I am Holy."

The Holy Spirit was working on my conscience but I did not pay attention. I continued to live in sin. Then one day we went to visit one of my brothers and his wife. As we were walking up the walk way to their home, my brother came out to meet us. He told us that we could not come in because his wife said as long as we were living together, she could not let us in her home. He apologized but said, "she says that is what the Bible says we are supposed to do and I have to respect her wishes."

I Corinthians 5:11 states, "But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one no not to eat."

Now I realize a lot of people will take issue with this and say it's too extreme. However, this was her understanding at the time and she stood up for her convictions. I admired her for that. It was one of those moments when you wish the ground would open up and swallow you and it really hurt deeply. In spite of the hurt, I knew she was right and what I was doing was wrong. In this moment our Lord revealed Himself as Chastiser.

Hebrews 12:6 "For whom the Lord loveth He chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom He receiveth."

Our loving Father had convicted me of this sin and gave me ample time to correct the situation before He used my brother and his wife to chastise me. This event was followed a little while later with a visit to my pastor. I wanted to talk to him about problems I was having in my relationship with the man I was living with. My pastor very bluntly said, "Well Bev, how can you expect our Lord to work in your life when you know you are living a life that is not pleasing to Him?"

Finally, I decided that I could not continue in this lifestyle. The Holy Spirit was working on my conscience so greatly that I just simply could not take any more. I told the man (let's call him Peter) that we had to stop living in sin and either get married or live separately. We were married about one month later. This would prove to be a mistake. The marriage ended in divorce ten (10) years later. Being a "babe in Christ" which means, a new Christian, I didn't know that I could ask the Lord about such things and expect an answer. It just seemed logical to me that 'He would want us to get married and Peter was wiling to do so. It takes time to learn to hear the Lord's voice. Jesus said in John 10:27 "My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me." The problem is that we don't recognize the voice we hear as His at first. We think it's just our own thoughts. In time we learn to recognize it. It is also especially difficult to hear Him when our emotions are involved. Most of the time we just want Him to go along with what we want.

In I Chronicles 28:9 King David told his son Solomon to "serve the LORD with a perfect heart and with a willing mind."

Often our hearts are in the right place but our minds aren't in syncronization.

King David also said in this Scripture, "If you seek Him, He will be found of thee." This proved to be very true for me.

It was at this church where we met and became friends with the associate pastor and his wife. It was he who performed the marriage ceremony for us. They continued to be my friends for years. The Lord also gave him a ministry.

CHAPTER 2

MY TEACHER/PROVIDER

Shortly after we were married the Lord led us to Christian Full Gospel meetings. My husband seemed to enjoy these and I also enjoyed them. They were very informative and we received some ministry from them. It was at one of these meetings that I heard of another Christian group for women only. I began to attend these meetings and the Lord blessed me tremendously. I received much encouragement and "hands on" prayer plus instruction for my daily walk in Christ Jesus. Attending these meetings helped me to "fit in" with other Christians. I found out that I wasn't the only one with left over baggage from life outside of Christ. These women came from all walks of life and were very kind and compassionate. They did not judge me or condemn me for the life I led before.

It was here that I met a very special lady who would become a wonderful friend. This lady took me under her wing and often would tell me of special retreats or conventions for women. If I was interested, she would pay my way to attend. One time she made a coat for me. I was searching for employment and the only coat I had was old and quite worn. She came to me and said, "I know you are looking for employment and you could use a new coat so, I thought I would help you out as much as I can. If you will allow me to, I would be happy to make a coat for you."" Can you imagine? I never refused clothing, especially new. She had a husband and three children of her own so she couldn't afford to buy one for me but she did have some extra material which she made into a beautiful coat. It was a long one with a tie belt. I loved it! She also invited my husband and I for numerous dinners, knowing that we could not return the favor. This is the true Christian way. Her presence in my life was ordained by Jesus. Through the years the Lord has used her to send a word of encouragement and wisdom wherever I was at exactly the right time. She always knew when I was having problems and was quick to call. During this time Jesus was revealing Himself to me through His Word and through the people He brought into my life as a kind and loving Savior and provider.

CHAPTER 3

Up to this point, the Lord has been "my Redeemer/ Savior, Leader, Provider, Chastiser, the Righteous One, Teacher and Encourager. He will continue to be all of these throughout my life in addition to other things.

Peter was a musician and was quite accomplished at his trade. When we first met, he was a school teacher only playing in a band on the weekends. His teaching career came to an end during the first year we were together and my life with him changed from that point on. He asked me if I would be willing to try to play bass guitar, and I said yes. It seemed that I was kind of a natural at it and really enjoyed it. As he set his heart and mind on earning a living through music, mine were more interested in getting to know Jesus better. This sounds very pious on my part but it honestly is true. Soon, we had sold our home and were traveling across country.

The Lord continued to bless me and lead us to excellent churches. He also revealed himself as my protector while driving vehicles across the country that were not in very good condition. One time a tire almost came off while I was driving. The gas pedal suddenly went to the floor with no resistance and without any response from the truck. I told my husband something was wrong and when I explained, he told me to not touch the break and to pull over to the breakdown lane as gently as I could. I did as he instructed me and when we finally came to a stop we discovered that all the nuts that hold the tire on had sheared off. The truck had wide rims so the tire stayed on but it was right on the edge of the rim. Our Lord was definitely watching over us. This was on a major highway out in one of the western states. Wide open country with not much civilization around. There was one farm house about a mile away and my husband was able to get the parts he needed; but he had to fix it himself. Jesus promises to be our shield and buckler which means a protector. Some people will say these things are just coincidence, but I believe that once we become a child of God, He watches over us and protects us much more than we realize.

On one other occasion we were traveling from TN to NH and one tire was so worn the cords were showing. My husband told me to pray for a garage where we could at least buy a spare. It happened to be a Sunday so all the garages were closed, but suddenly he spotted one that appeared to be open. The owner was just locking the door as we drove up. When my husband explained our situation he said, "Well I have a pile of tires out back. Go take a look and if you find something you can use, take it." We found a tire close enough to the size of our other tires so that we could use it as a spare. It was mounted on a rim and inflated. Ready to go. We did not need to use it though; we got all the way to northern NH on well worn tires. Praise the Lord!

CHAPTER 4

MY DELIVERER AND MY STRENGTH

In Jan. 1980 my husband was really on my case to quit smoking. I knew he was right in this matter. Smoking is bad for our health. It is also very unpleasant for those around you and most importantly, it is a bad example for adults to set for the younger Christians. I had tried many times throughout the years to quit without success. Now I reached out to Jesus in prayer and asked Him to help me. I asked Him to give me the desire to quit because there was a part of me that really didn't want to quit. I enjoyed smoking and it calmed my nerves when I had a cigarette. I told Jesus I was going to try it again and trusted that He would help me. This time I kept a pack of cigarettes with me at all times so that I could have one if the craving got too intense. I had never done this before. I'm sure the Lord put this idea in my mind to eliminate some of the anxiety. It worked. I just kept on going without a cigarette minute by minute, hour by hour, until, before I knew it, I had passed the crucial three month period. It was such a wonderful feeling to know that I was free from the ball and chain of needing cigarettes. I never realized how imprisoned I was by them until I was free.