CHAPTER 1

Staffs

Kesha

I have had some extremely positive and life-changing experiences withstaffs. These women saw that I was in pain when I was going through adifficult time. They immediately came to my rescue, threw me a lifeline,and didn't let me go. For this I am eternally grateful, and I strive tobe just like them. They gave me the Word in due season, and I felt asthough they put me in a hospital bed and nursed me back to spiritualhealth. The phone calls, the friendships, the retreats, and advice revivedme, gave me breath, strengthened me, and taught me endurance. Theyfasted and prayed with me. They used humor to pull me from mydespair. They did not judge me because of the situation I was in, and Ireceived God's Word, not carnal counseling.

Jennifer

Even as I type these words, I happen to be in a bit of a trial. Today Ifeel encouraged and victorious, but sometimes, when I hit a moment ofpain and get kind of sad, I have a staff in my corner. Amazingly enough,she's just as human as I am and also has times when things seem a littlebothersome. God never allows both of us to get discouraged at the sametime, so we never have those "woe is us, let's throw a pity party andfeel sorry for ourselves" days. Remember: God does not show up at pityparties, but he will drop in on a praise party!

Description

Staffs are used for guidance. These are women who will always be therefor you, no matter the situation. The staff spirit offers biblical adviceand lovingly guides you through each and every problem. She will prayfor you when you need the prayer.

A staff is used for protection. She protects you from your own thoughtsand actions by constantly feeding you scriptures and practical advice.She will be able to tell when something is bothering you because shehas a discerning spirit. Nothing you disclose to her will be repeated toanyone else but God. (She will pray for you in secret, not in an openforum) It is in her nature to go to Jesus as your intercessor, and she willstay on her knees until your situation changes. God uses these staffs towhack she-wolves on the head in order to protect his sheep.

I was a bit upset at a family member who stole some money fromme. I called my mother and told her that I would not visit oreven speak with this person anymore. My mother told me thatwe are required to treat others as we would have them treat us.She also reminded me that the same measure that I compareothers to, God would use on me: "Forgive us our debt as weforgive our debtors." Lesson learned.—KB

Staffs are used for balance. They are great for helping you keep yourperspective clear, so you can stay in the presence of God when youremotions would otherwise lead you astray. The staff is ole faithful,dependable, semper fi. She is the shoulder that you lean on; she is thestaff that helps you walk upright. You will find yourself attempting topattern yourself after her because she is centered and focused on theWord of God. The staff genuinely wants you to prosper, heal, grow andsucceed in your life inside and outside of church. She is aware that we allwear different hats as mothers, wives, sisters, employees, praise leadersetc., so she prays that you don't overextend yourself, and she teaches youways to multitask effectively.

The staff is ole faithful, dependable, semper fi

Identifying Features

She has a sweet look on her face and speaks life every time you seeher. She is dressed modestly. This is because she knows that dressingprovocatively is distracting and will hinder her witness. (Think aboutit: if she comes to offer advice and she is scantily clad, will you accepther advice?) Their lives may not be perfect, but they are content andconstantly striving to be like Christ. (Philippians 4:11)

Warning

If you want to be left alone and are a person who does not want godlyadvice, you will not need a staff. Remember, staffs want you spirituallyand emotionally well so you can get back on the battlefield. Please don'tbe disrespectful or indifferent to a woman who possesses this spirit,because she is a gift from God. There are spirits who are able to simulatesincerity, but only for a time. If you have difficulty identifying others'spirits, take time to get to know them before you pour out your heart,as you don't want your issues to be broadcast at the beauty shop. Pray toGod to send his mentor to you, and you will recognize the Spirit. John14:17 KJV tells us, "Even the Spirit of truth; whom the world cannotreceive, because it seeth him not, neither knoweth him: but ye knowhim; for he dwelleth with you, and shall be in you."

Scripture Study

Fill in the blanks

"__________ be God, even the Father of our LordJesus Christ, the Father of __________, and the God ofall __________; who comforteth us in ____________________, that we may be able to __________them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselvesare __________ of God" (2 Corinthians 1:3–4 KJV).

1. What is our responsibility to one another? ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Comfort ye, comfort ye my people, saith your God" (Isaiah 40:1 KJV).

2. Do you consider comforting God's people to be a commandment?Why or why not? ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for theirlabor, for if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to himthat is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.(Ecclesiastes 4:9–10 NIV).

3. Name one person who offers you godly comfort.____________________________________________________________

4. Can that same person depend on you for godly comfort? Why or whynot? _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especiallyunto them who are of the household of faith" (Galatians 6:10 KJV).

5. Do you feel that "good" would benefit a person who doesn't believe inGod? Why? __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

6. Why does God instruct us to do good "especially to people who are of thehousehold of faith"? _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and notto please ourselves. Each of us should please his neighbor for his good,to build him up" (Romans 15:1–2 NIV).

7. Do you feel that it is unfair to be asked to "bear the infirmities of theweak"? _____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

8. Meditate. Then answer this question: why are we who are strong requiredto bear the failings of the weak? __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

9. Write about a time when you were "weak." What happened? Whogave you strength? _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

10. List the names and phone numbers of three staffs, and keep themclose to your heart; you are going to need them. Pray for them.________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

CHAPTER 2

Clubs

Kesha

I have a friend who told me her marriage may have ended because whenshe and her husband prayed together, she quoted Bible scriptures thatapplied only to his problems and deficiencies. She believed that he feltunworthy of God's love because she constantly measured him by andbeat him with the Word. We call this club behavior.

Here is another example: A lady in our church who was going througha difficult time started participating in support groups, and had testifiedhow her mood had been improving. Well, a sister who was privy to thisinformation, was giving a short talk for Women's Day and mentionedthat the joy of the Lord is our strength and that joy should be all thatwe need; support groups are unnecessary (the young lady was in theaudience). Needless to say that the sister to whom she was referring feltattacked and unsupported.

Jennifer

Once I was sitting in the sanctuary, waiting for service to start. I waswatching and waving at people as they entered, when all of a sudden, acertain lady came up to me, shoved a safety pin in my face, and loudlyannounced, with no apparent regard to my feelings, "You need tocover yo body!" My skirt had a side slit in it that she apparently foundtroubling. As she walked away with her nose held high, I checked theslit, saw that there was no need for concern, and tucked the pin intomy purse.

Had I been immature, I could have been deeply wounded by thisincident. At that moment I was simply being social; exposing my legfor attention was the furthest thing from my mind. Remember, ladies,there's a difference between boldness and rudeness. When there is alegitimate—the key word being legitimate, not assumed or presumed—needto rebuke a person, it should be done with a spirit of love andmeekness. Think about how you might feel in the same situation, becauseat some point you will need correction yourself. We all appreciate basicdignity and respect, even when we are being corrected.

Description

In ancient times, clubs were used as weapons, and that is exactly howthe devil uses this type of woman—as a weapon. Clubs know most ofthe scriptures that apply to righteous living, and they can't wait to tellyou about your shortcomings. Clubs use the Word to try to convinceothers to live to the letter of the Law of Moses. Her intent is to makeyou feel guilty enough to change your behavior. The club constantlyreminds you that the wages of sin are death, but doesn't give any advicescriptural references, for that matter, on how to resist temptation andavoid sin. Clubs don't communicate that it is God's grace and mercyworking internally that draw believers close to Him.

A club will cite scriptures to reinforce her actions or decisions; mostly,she will twist the Word of God to combat anyone who disagrees withher. After all, who would argue with God? A prime example is thewoman who reworks John 8:32, which states that the truth will makeyou free. This verse refers to obedience to Jesus' teachings, but the clubsees it as giving her permission to say whatever comes to her mindwithout taking another person's feelings into consideration. She doesn'twait for God to lead and direct her steps; she marches to the beat ofSatan's drum, all in the name of "truth." She uses God's Word as anoffensive attack to keep everyone in line.

Clubs are not willing to listen to problems and will attack peoplefor wavering in their faith or for being discouraged. For example, ifsomeone is talking about an issue, a club will interrupt with "everythinghappens for a reason," and begin reciting "fruit of the Spirit" attributesor making "we wrestle not against flesh and blood" speeches. Oh andplease don't say, "But ..." You can't say butter, button, or butler withoutclubs interjecting, "But God." They fail to realize that when a person ispouring out her heart, a listening ear is all too important.

I know a person who is extremely self-righteous. She is alwaystalking about how others need to be dedicated, faithful, andfocused on God, but she has a bad attitude and runs peoplefrom the church with her behavior. When guests come inthe church—and she knows they are struggling with theircommitment to Christ—she stands and begins testifying thateverybody needs to "get right." She has no clue that leadingothers to Christ is not all about words; it is about lovinglyguiding people back to God. She also gives carnal advice anddoesn't apply the scriptures correctly.—TH

Clubs usually were saved at a young age and, at least in their opinion,haven't strayed very far from church. For instance, a club will boast abouthow she never frequented bars or drank alcohol, but doesn't acknowledgethat she has a haughty spirit, which God hates. Her iniquity and sincannot be readily seen, which has made her extremely self-righteous.Clubs are more interested in a semblance of righteousness, visible from theoutside, than a change from the inside out. They will condemn anythingthat is not about church. They believe that if you attend a social gatheringinstead of a midweek service, you are not fulfilling your responsibility toGod and, therefore, you are not worthy of God's attention or love. A clubis not interested in a Christ-filled heart. The club wants a full church, a fullBible study, and a full choir because this shows that people love God. But,God looks on the heart of man, and he sees if our actions are genuine.

You could look past these faults to see her needs. But then again youcan't, because she has no needs—at least, not in her eyes. She does,however, have the cure to all your ills. She is totally blind to her ownfaults. She conveniently ignores her unrighteous behavior, past orpresent. But sister, she is always willing to put your business on FrontStreet, all under the guise of Christian boldness.

The woman who is influenced by this destructive spirit needs torecognize that club behavior renders Christians useless for God's service.God doesn't condemn us; rather, he convicts our hearts in order for usto repent and return to our first love, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.If we sat and thought about all of the wrong that we have done, howcould we spread the Good News about his love and mercy? Our pastsins are a testament to how worthy we are through him.

A club is not interested in a Christ-filled heart

Identifying Features

Clubs can be any age; anyone can allow herself to become self-righteous.Clubs are Sunday school teachers; wives of pastors, ministers, or deacons;ministers themselves; or faithful church members. You will find themabout people's level of commitment to the church ratherthan focusing on ways to spread the Gospel to nonbelievers.

Warning

This spirit requires admiration and feels that she is entitled to favorabletreatment. She places herself above everyone else, and she will not wantyou in her presence if she doesn't feel your devotion. Her self-professeddiscernment and knowledge causes her to offer advice without knowingthe entire situation. If you don't take her advice, she will interpret thisto mean that you don't respect her and therefore will decide you are notworthy of her attention.