Ice Bound: A Doctor's Incredible Battle for Survival at the South Pole

A physician stranded at a South Pole research station describes how she discovered a lump in her breast, treated herself with a biopsy and chemotherapy, and was rescued by the Air National Guard during a daring mission to Antarctica and reflects on the meaning of her experience and the dedication and support of her colleagues. Reprint. 150,000 first printing.

Excerpt

My life spiraling out of control, I sought sanctuary at the South Pole.
I found adventure, unspeakable beauty, and great solace. Then I discovered
cancer in my right breast....

From: Jerri Nielsen

To: Mom and Dad

Date: 21 Nov. 1998 11:24:45

Subject: I have arrived

Dear Mom and Dad,

I have arrived at South Pole. It is strange and beautiful. The sun is brightlike a welder?s torch at 3 a.m. They drive bulldozers through the house.Nothing is like anything or any place on earth.

I am too tired to write more but wanted you to know that I am here and safe. Letboys know.

I love you all so much.

The Duff

I step out into a blinding light, into the whitest world imaginable. The nakedsun sears right through my polarized goggles. The cold is so deep and completeit is surreal. My first breaths torch my throat and chill my lungs. This is coldfrom another dimension, from an ice planet in a distant galaxy. And this issummer in the southern hemisphere.

My home?the biomed building?is sheltered under a steel archway thatbranches off the entrance tunnel just before it reaches the dome. The frontentrance is a huge white freezer door?the type found in a meatpackingwarehouse?that keeps the cold out, not in. My room is cozy and comfortable.I have my own bed, dresser, humidifier, bookcases, computer, and an assortmentof wall hooks for skis and cold-weather gear. I stow away the vaccines, stripoff a layer of clothing, and change into shearling boots.

As I walk to my South Pole orientation briefing, it occurs to me that the poleseems designed to disorient human beings. When it is winter back home, it issummer down here. Polar summer is a season of cold, incessant light, and winteris a season of colder, incessant darkness. There is only one day and one nighteach year. Time is practically irrelevant. The South Pole sits at theconvergence of every time zone in the world, so the station managers pickwhichever is most convenient

The funny thing about the pole is how quickly you come to accept it as yourhome. You don?t think about the fact that you are at the bottom of theearth and that this is the coldest, most hostile environment imaginable. Youjust think, Oh, I?m going for a walk today. Or, Oh, there?s my friendwith ice over his entire face, his eyelids are frozen shut, he?s goticicles hanging from his mouth. Doesn?t he look great?

From: Jerri Nielsen

To: Mom and Dad

Date: Sun., 17 Jan. 1999 10:30:03 +1200

Subject: The latest from the Ice

Dear Folks,

The world is so distorted here that it is not possible to keep your bearings.Time is totally meaningless. Time expands and contracts and even with a lot ofattempts to keep it straight, there is no hope. We also have such a shortperspective, as there is no outside input.

We really do have what we need as we need less and less. After a while youalmost stop thinking about sex.

All that I want is for the sun to go away and with it all these summer people. Iam ready for the reality of winter. At first we talked of it with a little fear.We were going to live through the cold, dark, lonely, hard, cold winter. Now weare looking forward only to the warmth of the dome, full of friends andfamily?no matter how dysfunctional?solitude, rest, reflection, andisolation. I will be glad to see that last plane leave. Really glad. I am hungryfor the darkness.

Love you all,

I am already never the same. Duffy

From: Jerri Nielsen

To: Family and friends

Date: 27 Feb. 1999

Subject: Last Days of Fall

I have never been so happy or felt more alive. I am not afraid of anything as Ispend my days with friends. None of us fears death here, even though it is asure thing with a long walk outside. Funny thing.

Love, Doc Holliday

About two weeks after the station closed, I am reading a book in bed andabsentmindedly rubbing my upper chest, when my fingers stop on a small, hardlump. It is near the surface of my right breast, at 12 o?clock. I palpateit, trying to decide how big it is and what it might mean. I have fibrocysticbreasts and have found small breast lumps before. They were always related to mymenstrual cycle and went away after a few weeks. My mammogram was negative onlysix months ago, so I am not particularly worried. I decide to keep an eye onthis lump and wait a month to see whether anything changes.

From: Jerri Nielsen

To: Mom and Dad

Date: Sun., 22 Mar. 1999 07:44:06 +1200

Subject: Sunset

Today the sun set without us. The world was altogether different. It is theworld that I came to experience. There was an eerie twilight around us. The 360-degree circle of flat ice and horizon is washed with pink all along the edge ofour world. Otherwise it was quite dark, not yet night, but no longer day for sixmonths. The wind had picked up the snow into the air so that everything wasblurry. It looked threatening yet so wondrous. It was more of what I thoughtlife here would be like.

There are those among us who speak of huge knots in their stomachs as they thinkof the quickness of the coming darkness. For me the coming of the terrible andterrifying darkness is exhilarating! Today was the most beautiful yet in thisgreat landscape.

I will love the night.

Love, Duffy

Continues...

Excerpted from Ice Boundby Jerri Nielsen Copyright © 2002 by Jerri Nielsen. Excerpted by permission.
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Copyright © 2002 Jerri Nielsen
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