Part I

The Great Fall

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall; Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty back together again.

Hairline fractures ...

"Oh, boy," said Humpty. "Wouldn't you know it. "Just when I'm supposed to do something worthwhile and important, this happens. I'll never get back together. Why does this always happen to me?!?!!" Grumbling aloud Humpty Dumpty looked up and saw a bunch of kids gazing down at him.

"Looks like you had a great fall, sir," said Sarah Dippity.

"Where are all the king's horses and all the king's men?" Humpty Dumpty returned to Sarah Dippity, looking at the kid next to her.

"That's Quackers," said Sarah Dippity.

Quackers said to Sarah Dippity, "Everyone is like Humpty Dumpty."

"Everyone is like me?" Humpty heard Quackers.

Quackers looked at Humpty Dumpty. "Yup, everyone, Humpty! Everyone sits on the wall – their wall of choice. Everyone has a part of them that is riddled already with hairline fractures – perhaps just a small corner of the brain, but there, none-the-less. Hairline fractures belong to all -- to make everyone a whole person. Or, at least, a good egg," said Quackers with half a grin.

crack ... crack ... crack ....

Dragon chirped in, "Yah, I know. For a long time I was denying or totally unaware of the hairline fractures I had. That simply enabled my fractures to become weaker; give rise to even more hairlines. One fracture can propagate another ..."

... crack ... crack ... crack ....

"Is that why you, I mean, all the dinosaurs disappeared?" asked Humpty Dumpty.

"I know they talk of many reasons for our extinction. This one, though, sounds good to me. It could be the extinction of many who do not attend to their hairline fractures," predicted Dragon.

Humpty Dumpty looked at Dragon and said curiously with lengthy wondering pauses, "You are a dragon and you ... and you .... are ... talking ...."

Dragon looked at Humpty and said, "That's nothing. You're an egg ..."

It's all about you ...

Chris said, "When hairline fractures are unattended the whole person crumbles into scattered pieces like you did Humpty Dumpty."

Angus added, "And rather than `all the king's horses and all the king's men', only you, Humpty, can put yourself back together again.

"Harumph!" said Humpty. "But I'm the Royal Egg!" Humpty said with flair. "So things will happen for me."

"He was such a kind and gentle man ..."

Paladin and Frances listened then Paladin added, "When an individual has `a melt down' or `flies off the handle', we often hear that this person, is described in the media by neighbours, as `a kind and gentle person'. More like it, they become a Mr. Hyde! Hyde who is another who avoided attending the hairline fractures. The whole person crumbled, lost control, and behaved in an unrecognizable and shattering manner -- disgusting."

"You're not kidding, Paladin," said Quackers who flirted his eye brows up and down and wiggled his fingers as if playing a flute like Groucho Marx, "crowds gathered and, as a constant topic of conversation, they discussed Hyde with disgust."

All the Go Figure Kids looked at Quackers imitating Groucho and then looked at each other with a pregnant pause of silence followed with a consensual groan. Only Frances Lake laughed ... kind of ...

Quackers said, "Ignoring your hairline fractures is the thin edge of the wedge being driven into the fractures. As time passes and more challenges happen in your life the wedge is driven deeper and deeper.

Until ..."

The unobtrusive event ...

"... IT happens!

What the event will be is unknown – it seems to 'just happen'! None-the-less, the wedge is driven in as each small and inconspicuous challenge occurs. The event need not be something catastrophic. In fact, more often, it is a small, seemingly unobtrusive incident – but it's the last straw! You are unaware of the accumulating effects." Sarah Dippity finished Quackers' thought.

Chris said, "I'll tell you a story, Humpty. A story of two frogs."

The short story of the frogs

Once upon a time there were two curious frogs. One curious frog jumped into a pot filled with boiling water! "OW! This is very hot!!!!" said the frog. And the frog jumped out immediately!

The other curious frog jumped into a pot filled with room temperature water and lingered. "AHHH ...' said the frog.

The heat was turned up, though very gradually ... and up ... and up ... and up ... to a boil! The frog paid no attention to this insipid rise in temperature. The frog boiled to death. It croaked! ...

The wreckage ...

"Like the second frog that croaked, the wedge is driven into your hairline fractures insipidly – almost insidiously. You are unaware of it – you crack.

The hairline fractures have grown longer; increased in number; coalesced; and the wedge is driven in one more time!!!!

And then ...

The great fall!

Angus said with a very sinister voice, "You shatter and in some cases – wreckage!".

You ...

"All the King's horses and all the King's men cannot put you back together again, Humpty," said Quackers.

"Yes, consequences happen; different institutions may be involved. Professionals may be called in; medications may be prescribed; and, so begins the attempt to `put you back together again'.

In the end, though, with all that help, you are still the only one who can put you back together again." Humpty didn't see who said that.

It's all about you ...

"Yah, like Humpty Dumpty," said Humpty Dumpty, referring to himself, "they have a great fall! Of course I'd point to myself if I could ... but ... I can't – Had a great fall, yah know." Humpty finished, trailing off.

That wasn't really me ...

Sarah Dippity said, "Fortunately, these acts of devastation are quelled by most. Usually, others do their Humpty Dumpty act, yet catch themselves before their great fall – destructive devastation."

Quackers said, "However, less than the destructive devastation, not tending to your hairline fractures, you can act in a way that is not really you. You're overwhelmed, not yourself. Your hairline fractures are breaking as you have avoided tending them and you cannot hold yourself together ..."

Tending ...

"So if I tended to myself, my hairline fractures, every day, they would be fewer and I would be stronger so I wouldn't have a great fall, like I just did," said Humpty.

"That's right, Humpty," said Angus.

"Is it time?" Angus looked at his friends, The GO Figure Kids, with anticipation. "Is it time?"

"Time for what?" Quizzed Humpty Dumpty. "Is it time for you kids to put me back together again?"

"Well, the first step to being put back together," said Chris, "is for you to say `YES' to yourself, welcoming you getting back together. Secondly to accept help and say `YES' to that help."

"Your life has changed, Humpty. I'm not intending to push `all the kings horses and all the kings men' to the back of the line, yet, are you ready to work with us, Humpty?

Quackers saw almost an imperceptible affirmation in Humpty's eyes and face and said, "It's time! It's time for the magic question."

"Magic?" said Humpty Dumpty with excitement. "There is a magician to put me back together?"

"We're no circus act," said Quackers. It's magic, though, to perform your transformation. And you, Humpty, are the magician."

"Me?" Humpty Dumpty was skeptical.

10-1

"Humpty," Dragon said, "On a scale of 10-1, to put yourself back together again - your transformation - where 10 is the most and 1 is the opposite where do you put yourself on that scale?"

"Make that a big 12," said Humpty Dumpty. Humpty then felt an early stir in his yolk of success ...

The GO FIGURE KIDS

"I think we should tell Mr. Dumpty who we are before he does the work," said Frances. "Better the Go Figure Kids you know than the one's you don't know." The other kids agreed.

"Hi, Mr. Dumpty. I'm Frances Lake, Dr. Young's assistant," as she nodded at Quackers. "My pleasure to be here."

"I am Quackers – Dr. Carl `Quackers' Young. Most call me Quackers. It's my pleasure to know you, Humpty Dumpty. "I'll now hand the baton over to ..."

Hello, Humpty, can I call you that? I'm Sarah Dippity."

"I'm Paladin Frizban, and you can call me Pal -- Nice to meet you, Humpty. I've heard about you, now, for a long, long, long time.

Not as long as Drag, but you're laminated in the history books, Humpty!"

The baton passed around.

"I'm Angus Daye."

"I'm Chris Knight."

"Hi, Humpty Dumpty, I am Dragon," growling at Paladin, "Unlike Paladin, please don't call me Drag. You won't fry but I sure will! I might make you extinct!

"Well, lets start with the end in mind," Quackers said. "When you feel you no longer need us kids what will you be doing?"

Humpty said, "Together again. I'll be doing together again."

"Together again?"

"Yah. Together again."

"What else?"

The Hammer and Nail ... Yah. Together again and with the

skill to keep on tending to myself." Frances Lake said, "If all you have is a hammer everything looks like a nail. There is a better chance of success with more than one way to accomplish things -- as they are respectful, genuine and valuable."

Sarah Dippity continued, "So let's explain these seven steps or tools to invite Humpty Dumpty to apply and put himself back together again."

Part II Putting Humpty Back Together Again

Step One

CHANGE YOUR MIND ...

Quackers began. "Step one, Change Your Mind. Change your mind is counter-intuitive. It is the easiest AND the most difficult.

Change your socks! ...

"You can change your mind instantly! It's actually possible! You will change instantly!

You can have high self-esteem, high confidence, great self- value and worth -- and still be humble -- immediately!

Sound miraculous, Humpty? Well, it's not ... It's just hard! Hard to believe!

The rub is that you make it hard for yourself -- because you don't believe in yourself," said Quackers emphatically.

Self-efficacy ...

Quackers glanced at his friends as he kept talking. "You change your mind more than you change your socks. However, it is easier to change your socks than change your mind, when changing your mind involves self-esteem! – your abilities and willingness to put yourself back together again. You have to believe in yourself that you can do it. It's called self-efficacy.

A dollar and a half ...

You, Humpty, or anyone else may not consider yourself worthy of being put back together." Quackers paused for a moment.

"If you think you're worth a dollar and a half nobody will raise your price.

`Besides, there would be no great loss to the world if you were not back together.' Is that what you think?" Asked Quackers.

`Catch 22' ...

"The thing is you probably DO think you're worth a dollar and a half. How do you change your mind about yourself, your abilities and your value? It's tough! It's a `catch 22', as in the Joseph Heller book – Catch 22. It's easy to see it as a no win. How do you believe in yourself when you don't believe in yourself? How do you have value when you believe you have no value?"

Believing that you are nothing ... you are nothing.

Stop It ...

If you do think that –

STOP IT!

The only one your judgments must pass Is the one looking back in the glass ...

Not nothing ...

The reality is you are not nothing!

You are something!

Your resiliency tank may be close to empty for now, or has it run on empty for a long time? ... This is about filling it up and reclaiming yourself!!!"

Step Two

ACT AS IF ...

Quackers continued, "The real you is someone with confidence, self-esteem and self-worth.

They are all in you, 100%

And you may not believe that.

So when you don't believe you have any of these core values, then, you must –

Play pretend ...

Act as if ...

Act as if you have high value or self-esteem!

Act as if you have abilities!

`Play pretend' you believe in yourself!

`Act as if' by imagining you have value, even though you really do!"

Applause ...

Sarah Dippity took over, "Yah, Humpty. "See yourself `walking tall', or show your value to others without showing arrogance.

Imagine other people appreciating you for you, who you are and what you've done.

Imagine yourself standing on a stage and hearing applause for you!

(Or do you believe you have a better chance winning the lottery. Or, do you believe you don't even deserve to win the lottery so why even bother imagining that!?!?)"

If you believe You will receive!!!

The give away ...

"Act as if you have value by giving someone else your value.

Your value gets bigger the more you give away.

You may want to help somebody else, even in a simple way.

A nickel's worth of help can be a priceless resolve! ...

Feed someone who cannot feed themselves; pick something up for someone that they dropped; teach someone how to read; volunteer. Even as simple as you deem it, anything will do that helps others.

And stop thinking–`oh, they don't want my help' or some such thoughts. Well, yes, they do want your help! If you don't help, who will? -- well ... maybe someone else just might help ... -- but go for it yourself! You help!!!"

Thank you ...

Dragon added, "If the other person says `thank you' or gives you a compliment, accept it and say, whatever fits for the response -- "my pleasure" or `thank you'."

No problem ...

"Stop minimizing it by saying –

`It's nothing ...' `No problem ...' `This old thing?' ...

When you minimize the other's `thank you' or compliment, you –

* minimize the compliment,

* minimize the other person and

* minimize yourself.

Simply say `Thank you!' ..."

Be frank ...

Frances Lake said, "Dr. Young has told me that an example of `acting as if' is Frank William Abagnale, Jr. This is the man on whom the movie with Leonardo DiCaprio and Tom Hanks, Catch Me if You Can, is based. He acted as if by being a con artist, an escape artist, an impersonator. I'm giving no judgment to his behaviour, here. He is simply an example of `acting as if' ...

You `act as if' you are someone.

Success ...

Others believed Frank Abagnale. Others will believe you.

Frank believed in himself. You have to believe in yourself.

Eventually the law caught him up. But Frank Abagnale Jr. believed in himself and that's why he was successful acting as if!"

Escape ...

* Impersonate the valuable you! ... even though you are actually valuable!!!

* Con yourself into believing you have high self-esteem! ... even though you actually do have high self-esteem waiting to be set free! ...

* Escape from the shackles of the dark side! ...

Escape your own shackles ... and believe in yourself!

Believe the Beginning ... Begin the Believing ...

WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT YOU ACT OUT ...

Quackers shared, "It has been attributed to many, it's been said," --

Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.

The blank mind ...

The language you use in your head is crucial. You talk to yourself all the time – waking or sleeping. And when you think your mind is blank, you're talking to yourself!

So, what do you say to yourself?

Do you tear yourself down, minimize yourself? Or do you build yourself up, tap into and emerge your empowerment?"

Try me ...

Quackers carried on, "Rather than the word `why' use the other W's – What, Where, When and the H word -- How.

* `Why me?' ask `How can I try me?'

* `I'll never be able to do that.' ask `when will I do that?' – avoid the answer – `when the stars fall from heaven'!

Simply ask yourself the question and your mind will eventually answer you!"

The spin ...

Dragon said, "Replace your words to presume you are accomplished.