Healing Power: Ten Steps to Pain Management and Spiritual Evolution

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Contents

PART ONE TEN STEPS..........................................................11. THE IMPORTANCE OF PERSONAL SPIRITUAL HISTORY.............................32. INTRODUCTION.............................................................213. HOW TO USE THIS BOOK...................................................../ 334. TEN STEPS TO PAIN MANAGEMENT AND SPIRITUAL EVOLUTION.....................455. SUFFERING, STEPS 1-5.....................................................516. HEALING, STEPS 6-10......................................................71PART TWO SPIRITUAL PRACTICE.................................................957. THE UNIVERSAL HEALING WHEEL..............................................978. SHIFTING THE LOCUS OF CONTROL............................................1159. A UNIVERSAL HEALING METHOD...............................................12510. THE SERENITY PRAYER.....................................................14111. GETTING STARTED.........................................................161PART THREE CHANGE YOUR DESTINY..............................................18112. AFFIRMATIONS............................................................18313. HABITS..................................................................207PART FOUR MORNING AND EVENING PROGRAM.......................................22114. PROGRESSIVE MUSCLE RELAXATION...........................................22315. BREATHWORK..............................................................22916. CONTEMPLATION...........................................................23717. MEDITATION..............................................................24518. PRAYER..................................................................267PART FIVE DAILY ACTIVITY PROGRAM............................................27519. MINDFULNESS.............................................................27720. PRACTICING THE PRESENCE OF GOD..........................................30121. SERVICE.................................................................31922. YOGA..................................................................../ 32923. TRANSFORMATION OF EMOTION...............................................345PART SIX SPIRITUAL QUALITIES................................................35924. INTRODUCTION TO SPIRITUAL QUALITIES.....................................36125. LOVE....................................................................36326. PEACE...................................................................38327. HUMILITY................................................................39328. FAITH...................................................................40729. COURAGE.................................................................41730. FORGIVENESS.............................................................42531. TRUTH...................................................................43932. INTUITION...............................................................45133. ONENESS.................................................................45934. HEALING.................................................................469PART SEVEN CONCLUSION.......................................................47935. A BALANCED HEALING PROGRAM..............................................481APPENDIX A..................................................................489APPENDIX B..................................................................493APPENDIX C..................................................................499

Chapter One

The Birth of a Model

Life is difficult. Our problems are deep, complex, and severe. Often, we find ourselves caught in a web of pain. We don't know how we got there, and we don't know how to get out. Because we manage our pain poorly, we find ourselves in more trouble; poorly handled problems are a source of untold difficulty.

We need help. We need to learn more about the origin of our suffering so we can manage it more skillfully. Then, instead of dragging us down, our problems become a source of strength and peace.

I have a passion for learning how healing power acts as an antidote to pain and devastation. I have studied with the teachers, masters, and gurus of psychology, psychiatry, and spirituality, searching their models with a fine toothcomb, looking for elements that strengthen our ability to heal. The ten-step model described in this book is a composite of healing principles and methods I have extracted from the great wisdom traditions and organized into cognitive-behavioral practices. These techniques are designed to help the reader transform any troubling problem into spiritual power.

In this chapter, I will describe some of the key events in my life that led to the birth of the ten steps. See if you can find yourself-and, if you are a healthcare professional, your patients-in this story.

BRUTAL REALITY AND THE ILLUSION OF SAFETY, SECURITY, AND IMMORTALITY

In May 1943, I was a seven-month-old fetus. Of course, I don't remember what it was like, but I imagine it was a good place to be: warm, quiet, peaceful, safe, and protected. One day, in an instant, the feeling of safety and the quiet vibrations of motherly nurturance were replaced by fright, flight, and freeze.

My parents went out for dinner. A neighbor was babysitting Suzanne, my twenty-month-old sister. The neighbor left Suzanne on a table and walked away. She fell. When my parents came back, they discovered their baby daughter running a fever and convulsing with seizures. They took her to the hospital, where a spinal tap revealed blood in her spinal fluid. She had a type of brain damage that causes muscle spasms, a permanent condition known as cerebral palsy.

Suzanne's life was one of severe and chronic disability. She had difficulty walking and often fell; loud crashes could sound in our house at any time. My parents and I would run to her in fear of what we might find. Would there be a broken leg, a cracked skull, blood? Due to muscle spasms that inhibited her ability to swallow, she would often choke or gag on her food, banishing in a flash the camaraderie of our family supper.

She was a beautiful person, physically and spiritually. I never saw her angry. She was pure love. Despite her beauty, she remained homebound, isolated, and lonely because her disability prevented her from keeping up with her peers.

At age twenty-four, a sudden loss of eyesight compounded her problems. Over a few short weeks, she became blind; no physician could diagnose the cause. She went to a school for the blind, where she learned braille and met the love of her life, a wonderful man who was also blind. It was her lifelong dream to get married, and, at twenty-seven, she did. On the weekend of her honeymoon, she got sick. Six weeks later she was dead. The same mysterious neurological disease that caused her blindness had destroyed her nervous system.

Each of us has to deal with brutal reality-perhaps not as early as the seventh month of fetal life or, in Suzanne's case, at twenty months, but eventually the time comes. Brutal reality is defined in Step 2 of the ten-step model as death, pain and suffering, and the unknown. In this work, we will study how our ability to manage brutal reality determines whether we move forward, slip backward, or stay stuck in this life.

THE CHEESEBURGER EFFECT

I was born on July 14, 1943 to a middle-class family of Conservative Jewish faith. Conservative Judaism lies between the Reform and Orthodox branches of Judaism. The tradition includes a strong sense of tribal identity and solidarity, a profound emphasis on taking care of family, support and encouragement of higher education, a great sense of humor, excellent food, the expectation that you marry in the faith, the discipline to follow certain dietary laws, and more.

I followed the rules and customs faithfully until age twelve, when I was in downtown Chicago at an athletic club my dad belonged to. I was there on Saturday morning to work out. It was time to go home. Back then pharmacies had lunch counters where you could get a sandwich. All of my non-Jewish friends were eating cheeseburgers, but I wasn't supposed to due to the kosher laws. I wanted to see what it would taste like. I ordered a cheeseburger, French fries, and a shake. There are several sins here: the meat was not kosher; you don't mix cheese with meat; the fries may have been made in pig fat; and, I chased it with a shake, which added more milk to the meat.

I ate the whole thing. Then I knew why other people eat cheeseburgers. It was delicious. I loved it, but there was a problem. Since God was watching and didn't approve of my lunch, I thought I would be punished-swiftly and severely.

The mind of a little Jewish boy who breaks the law for the first time works something like this: The Jewish superego says do not eat a cheeseburger. The id, or pleasure principle, says, do it. The result is guilt. I thought, "I am going to get run over by a bus because God is angry with me." But I got home safely. That night, I thought, "This is really cool. If I can eat a cheeseburger and not die, what else can I do?"

I call this seemingly harmless little event the "Cheeseburger Effect." It marks a profoundly important factor in my understanding of how belief systems work. More about this in a moment.

TERROR AT THE ABYSS

Move the clock forward to the University of Michigan. I am nineteen years old and taking courses in preparation for medical school. I am one of forty-five thousand students from all over the world. This was a period of intense study and intellectual conversations. A little white wine on Friday night and all of the big questions are on the table: "Why am I here?" "What is the meaning and purpose of life?" "Why is there so much suffering and evil in the world and what can be done about it?" No idea was immune to examination. Is this complex world of good, evil, joy, and suffering accidental or designed? And the ultimate question for me: "Does God exist?" One night, the answer: "I don't know." Between the cheeseburger as a twelve-year-old boy in Chicago to my loss of God as an undergraduate, I lost the rites and rituals of my belief system of origin one by one. Enter existential anxiety, or "terror at the abyss." I still had my values, but I no longer had a story to tell me what it is all about, a story to help me manage the suffering of brutal reality.

Think of a chess game as a metaphor for belief systems. The cheeseburger is a pawn. Other concepts, images, rites, and rituals are represented by the rook, knight, bishop, and queen, all of which are there to protect the king. I lost a pawn when I ate the cheeseburger. I proceeded to lose one piece after another, until, one day, I wasn't sure of God's existence. There was a meltdown of the entire system. When the king went down, I experienced the unknown, the abyss, the great mystery of life, untempered by my inherited religious story.

This abyss is a difficult place to be. The loss of a belief system can be devastating. Belief systems provide us with meaning and purpose, story and metaphor, inspiration, protection, guidance, truth, healing, community, service, and expansion of spiritual qualities such as love, compassion, understanding, and forgiveness. Whether we stay in our religion of origin or not, belief systems are monumentally important.

HEALING THE PAIN

In my early adult years, my terror at the abyss-combined with my fair share of character defects-left me lost, confused, and overwhelmed much of the time. My relationships weren't working, and I wasn't sure of myself at work. I could not figure it out myself. I knew I needed help, so I sought out psychotherapy. I had several therapists, but none helped until I met Dominick. He looked like Pavarotti. He was a jolly, fabulously brilliant, psychoanalytically oriented psychotherapist. Ours was a direct relationship of face-to-face conversations. I did not lie on his couch. We did not dwell in the past. We looked at problems and solutions in the here and now. I would walk into his office in pain, twisted like a pretzel. I walked out feeling better. Sometimes I went with my wife, Sharon Whitney. We would enter his office frustrated, angry, and stuck, but right after the session, we would be able to eat breakfast in friendship. How does that work? I started to think, "Pain and healing. Pain and healing." I was fascinated with it. What did Dominick do to help us feel better?

My sons were having some trouble with the street and drugs. I went to Alanon, which didn't work, so I tried Alcoholics Anonymous. I would identify myself as Phil and state why I was in the room: "Although I am not an addict or alcoholic, we all have problems, and I have addiction in my family, so I would like to stay and just listen." Since the meetings were open, they would accept me and carry on. Again, I would walk into the meeting in pain and walk out feeling better. What is this healing power? How does it work?

Psychotherapy was good and AA helped, but I needed more. I was still in great pain. My search for solace and healing expanded to the spiritual domain. I mined the great religious field for pearls. My studies included Christianity, Hinduism, Buddhism, Native American spirituality, Judaism, Zen, and others. I reviewed the lives of the saints, sages, teachers, masters, and gurus. I studied Jesus, the Buddha, and Krishna. Sacred texts described heroic and courageous events, gentle acts of quiet, humble service, a promise of healing, and higher states of consciousness. I thought, "What do I know? Maybe I should listen to the masters."

But whom do I follow? What is spiritual truth? In the vast array of spiritual books and teachers, there are a variety of conflicting ideas and beliefs. Where should I place my trust?

THE SCIENTIFIC METHOD IN METAPHYSICS

In my search, I instinctively resisted a "my way or the highway " approach. But if the teaching I was exploring said, "There are many ways to climb the mountain-try this method and see if it works; you can prove it to yourself through direct personal experience," I relaxed because it appealed to my sense of scientific inquiry and respected my needs and individuality.

To verify spiritual truth, I accept no idea on blind faith. I decide for myself via experimentation. My laboratory is human experience. My test tube is the body. My tools are the built-in equipment of the body: consciousness, energy, reason, feeling, intuition, and direct personal experience. I use these tools when I practice any of the spiritual disciplines described in this work, and I recommend you do the same.

We can decipher the difference between spiritual fiction and fact even without test tubes, lab tests, and X-rays. We can take life's profoundly important questions and put them to the test. For example, saints proclaim that compassionate service to humanity gives peace of mind and strength, that meditation works, that higher states of consciousness exist, and that the body harbors the actual God of the universe. Are their claims true or false?

Each of the spiritual methods described in this work gives us an opportunity to test new ideas in the laboratory of personal experience. We can prove or disprove a new idea by developing a spiritual practice. This is the scientific method in metaphysics. It appeals to scientific agnostics. True believers and true non-believers may not be able to use this method.

I practiced a variety of spiritual methods for years. Contemplation, affirmation, progressive muscle relaxation, prayer, meditation, mindfulness, service, yoga, breathwork, and the transformation of emotion proved especially helpful. I started to feel better, became a better person, and experienced a variety of the wonderful superconscious states I had been reading about.

A MODEL EMERGES

In l980, I worked as a staff psychiatrist at Harlem Hospital, in a fully funded psychiatric rehabilitation program similar to the well-known and highly successful Fountain House in New York City. This was no ordinary psychiatric job. There was so much devastation: racism, poverty, mental illness, substance abuse. A popular street drug at that time was Angel Dust, or PCP. To take this drug is like playing Russian roulette. Experience ranges from euphoria to permanent brain damage and horrible, atrocious acts of violence toward oneself and others.

I decided to call a meeting and focus on substance use. People came. We were just trying to understand what was going on. There was no model. An agency in another part of town heard about this group and thought I knew what I was doing with dual diagnosis: mental illness combined with substance use. They invited me to give a talk and I accepted.

I look back on this incident with wonder. How could I accept this invitation and not have a model? I chalk it up to the male ego, which cannot refuse an invitation. Like a peacock, it wants to show its gorgeous tail and feathers. What feathers! I didn't have any to show. About four days before the talk, I thought, "You'd better get some feathers!"

I took out my trusted clipboard and jotted down some notes. I reviewed with fascination the relationship of pain and healing: Dominick, the analyst; AA meetings; a host of psychotherapy healing models; the lives of saints and sages; spiritual practices. Thanks to this psychospiritual technology, I was feeling better, becoming a better person, and experiencing higher states of consciousness.

On the other side of the coin, I met brutal reality. On the same morning that I experienced a superconscious state in meditation, I walked the streets of Harlem. The devastation of mental illness, substance use, racism, and poverty were in my face.

In my notes, I lined up pain and healing and tried to connect the dots. After about four days, I saw a model in those pages. The day I gave my talk, I presented "Brutal Reality and the Illusion of Safety, Security, and Immortality," a model describing four universal domains where we can work to expand healing power and manage pain more skillfully. It was well received and has lasted all these years as an effective method for understanding the intimate connections between pain and healing. Now, it forms a stand-alone platform for the ten steps described in this book.

Before we get to the model, let me ask you a question. You are in pain. You go to your doctor. The doctor makes an accurate diagnosis and gives you the right medication, diet, and exercise program. You follow the instructions, but you still have pain. You may go back to your doctor or pursue alternative care. Now, assume you have reached maximum benefit from traditional medical and complementary and alternative remedies and still have pain. This can be any pain of body, mind, or soul. What do you do now? How do you try to heal your pain in the psychological, social, and spiritual domains? See Figure 1.

To heal our pain, we work in four domains. Here is an example of how this works.

PEOPLE

I lived in New York City for nine years and Alaska for two years before I came to the polite society of Oregon. New Yorkers and Alaskans are a little more expressive, and I may have been a carrier of that "assertive" vibration. People at work notice. Feeling something different, they might say, "Phil, you are a little too New Yorky." I am sensitive to criticism of any kind and feel bad. Fear, insecurity, worry, and doubt replace my peace of mind. I think, "Relax, these feelings are the natural human reaction to criticism." I ruminate. I can't seem to shake it.

(Continues...)

Excerpted from Healing Power: Ten Steps to Pain Management and Spiritual Evolutionby Philip Shapiro Copyright © 2010 by Philip Shapiro, M.D.. Excerpted by permission.
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