My Life Before The Gift

I was a hard-working young adult, I went to business school 2 weeks after graduating high school. I worked afternoons part-time at a Catholic nursing home and loved the job. I grabbed a second job and found myself working for a New York based automotive corporation that moved to Troy, Michigan in 1989. After being there for 4 months I was made a Junior Buyer. I ended up quitting the nursing home because the pay was double with the new company, and I was already working 40 hours a week (all while going to college too in the evenings). My career moved on for the next 24 years and I worked at a few Fortune 500 companies and finally ended my automotive career in 2013 as a Lead Buyer. I had worked for the largest companies in the world such as General Motors, Lear Corporation, and United Technologies, to name a few. I seemed to switch my focus from "feeling" to just "living" and making more money and raising kids. I enjoyed this life for a couple decades, but it sure does wear on you. During the 24 years, I had finished a Bachelors in Business, and started my Naturopathic Doctor education in 2009; and I started my Reiki classes in 2010 for self-healing. I had a goal in mind when to retire and live the perfect retirement life with morning workouts, good food, and just doing what I needed to do to bring balance to my life. In the automotive, I worked 8-5 PM, Monday through Friday, and I would come home, make dinner, do laundry, and fit in reading my school books after the kids went to bed. Raising 3 children is a full-time job too, no doubt. If the kids had sports, well that was all 3 of them, then add that to the calendar. I always got the guilt trip for only putting in 40 hours in the automotive world. For years I did like my job in the automotive, but unfortunately obstacles were becoming hurtles. Some days I didn't even remember driving home because of the chemicals in the office making me foggy, and the stress that comes with working with people you're not in alignment with. My health was being affected at this point, so it truly made me rethink what I was doing, and for who? I left the employer I was working for in 2013 and spent 3 years finishing my schooling, created my Holistic Center, and here I am.

Another aspect in molding me towards natural health was losing my parents too soon. That experience in the allopathic world made me more determined, and sick about the lack of knowledge in that industry. My father died when I was 32 from complications in diabetes, and my mom died when I was 41 from a chemotherapy treatment. I learned a lot from the medical field on what I didn't want to do.

When I left the automotive in 2013 I decided to work on me, and finished my degree in natural health. However, from my earliest recollection, I was always interested in natural health, and healthy food always made more sense to me. I was very passionate about the spirit world, not knowing much, it was still magical to me. If someone was talking about spirit, I wanted in on that conversation.

When I had my first appointment with a Naturopath many years ago, I walked out of their office and knew, this is what I needed to do. That made complete sense to me! Well coming to work is much more rewarding now. And when the next Chapter came; I had acknowledged a wonderful Gift that God trusted me with! Clairvoyance and the ability to communicate with spirit. Who would of thought?

What I'm trying to say is I lived a pretty conservative life in corporate America. I understood the politics and self-limitations that went with it. That life helped mold me now. No regrets. I do miss all the friends I had in the automotive, you never know, I may wonder back and forth? I have much to be thankful for ... past, and present. More importantly, I understand a lot of the different people that come to my center now. I was some of those clients, run down and stressed out!

The key is to have faith you're going to make it through transitions. As I finished this book, I've also reflected-back as my own reminder that my journey is my own and I've learned from it, good or bad. Too much to be thankful for than to dwell in the negative.

Persistence Messages

So, did you think I stopped everything I was doing to write a book? Nope. I didn't. However, I did keep the seed planted, I just wasn't sure where to start. Well my guides were right there willing to help, so enjoy how spirit can communicate through persistence messages.

Until now, which is December, I had written very little. The cards that I pulled this morning (12-14-16) included Shaman, writing a spiritually based book (again, but not pictured), and putting the pieces together to find myself. I believe I'm also supposed to write this book to discover more about myself and what has made me, me? Maybe?

Today it's December 28th, and the card I picked again today was "write a spiritual based booked." Well my guides want me to get this done, the same card keeps showing up. Or am I missing something important they want me to write about? Penelope just shows me to put my "heart" into it. She is one of my spirit guides, we'll talk more about her later.

So, I put the book writing down for a week, and my guides were at it again. I pulled 3 cards yesterday morning (1-4-17) and it was "write a book, release/let go, and putting the pieces together on my past." The same cards AGAIN. Seriously! My guides are so spot on! I'm always amazed on how they get me to pick the perfect message for the day. My goal this year is to be the best version of myself, so they must know that this will guide me there. You all are probably thinking, yeah right? No, it's very real. They helped me quit smoking being very persistent the same way. They gave me a message if I didn't quit smoking, that was enough for me. So, I quit, reluctantly.

So, I have stepped away from writing this book for a couple of weeks, and guess what cards I pulled today (1-25-17)? Yes, my guides are at it again. "GET IT MOVING, ERIKA" is probably what they're yelling. Following is card #15 represents saying Goodbye, and I believe the reason for this book is not only to personally release blocks for myself, but also teach these life experiences to you. The "book" card came up again, and another card was Solar-Plexus Chakra which means "it is safe for you to be powerful and take charge of your life in positive ways (both not pictured)." I appreciate and respect their persistence. I welcome any messages from our Divine. In fact, I'm constantly "wowed" by them, maybe that's why they are always on me to be this healing vessel on earth. So, I'll thank them again. "Thank you" persistence messengers! I honor you, and respect you! I love you.

Now let's get this handbook moving, right? Well the reason I wanted to share this persistence message, is you know we all get them. Your form may not come in the message of oracle cards, but they're still real, very real!

Well here I thought we were done with the persistent messages, but apparently, I wasn't, or we weren't. I've been working on the book between appointments here and there on various chapters. Today it's March 18, 2017 and here are the cards I pulled this morning.

I wasn't sure what the second card was trying to tell me, and then of course, it looks like "joint effort" was obvious, I needed help and assistance. Well I chimed in on my intuition and they showed me the gal in card #27 riding a hippopotamus. Well since I know that was a message from spirit for me, here's the definition:

"Take time out today for artistic expression. Express your true feelings and explore within." I was the gal riding the hippo in the vision I had. Joint effort can be from spirit or someone in this life. Or just as I saw, let the hippo help me!

I realize I'm writing this book to help others, but I'm also writing this book to heal myself too! Just because I'm a Naturopath and healer, doesn't mean healers don't need healing. Every day a new lesson is trying to teach us something.

The message I would like you to take from experience is this "spirit is always helping and guiding us," when you don't listen to that, well that's when we get off track on honoring our higher self and life purpose.

Youngster Gifts & My Stuff

The cards I drew the following day (not listed in here) reminded me of my childhood, so I'll start there.

I would like to start at my earliest recollection of the spirit world. When I was about 8 or 9 years old, I decided to have a neighborhood séance. A séance is an attempt to communicate with spirits. So, I grabbed the neighborhood kids, I don't even remember who was there, but I know my BFF Lisa was there because we were inseparable. I remember sitting indian-style in my parent's front yard in the grass, we were holding hands, and I was praying to my Grandpa that had passed in 1977. I was praying that he would show himself to us. I remember looking up into the sun and seeing him perfectly. A perfect black and white portrait of my Grandpa smiling at me. Wow, that was amazing! Now, you're probably wondering how did she know to do a séance at the age of 8-9, and my answer is ... "I have no idea, nor do I remember!"

I was raised in the Catholic religion; in fact, I've made every sacrament in the Catholic Church besides death, and I'd like to put that one off for about 5 decades. We were made to go to church every Sunday, learn about Jesus, Mary, God, and all the saints. I disliked going to church; yup I said it. I "disliked" going to church. My poor parents and the struggle they went through every Sunday to get us all moving. I don't recall any of us wanting to go, but you were damned to hell if you didn't, so we better go! At least that's what my mother thought.

Going back into my childhood, I was an adopted child in 1970 through Catholic Social Services. I came into a new family with two older brothers and an older sister. We were a family of 6, and my brothers were 6 and 10 years older than me. I was close in age to my sister; she was 16 months older. I was raised in an upper middle class, white collar environment in an adorable small town I still call my own. My parents were married 47 years until my Dad died in 2003.

Anyways, I recognized at an early age that I was very sensitive to energies. Some now call this being an "Empath." This empath definition seems to carry various forms but it primarily means that you're able to feel and acquire others' energies.

I also want to add a note about anxiety. I have found through my life experiences that anxiety occurs when you become "ungrounded" because you don't want to be in your current situation, or you were over loaded with events. I think our soul/self takes flight and it leaves our physical body. This means you're not able to concentrate, think, and be present in the situation. It takes a grounding exercise or meditation to bring yourself back. I will lay down for a few minutes, stand outside bare foot, or hug a tree. I will also focus on something that makes me content and happy. Yoga is a wonderful exercise to ground yourself again.

So many teenagers suffer from this, so I thought it was important to mention ... any ways, I got side tracked again. Let's get back to my story.

My Dad was an evening drinker, and when he would get upset and yell while drunk about small things, I remember hiding and shaking in my bedroom uncontrollably. I would keep my bedroom door open a couple of inches so I could make sure my Mom was ok while the tantrum lasted. I didn't understand why my siblings were not reacting the same way I did? I seriously could not stop shaking from the fear. I remember thinking, what's wrong with the rest of them, can't they see or feel this horrible situation? I would also rundown stairs to get my brothers to come and help. Don't they know that danger is near? I remember the feeling like it was yesterday. Horrifying to say the least. As a young child, and into a young adult, I learned to carry a protective shell from my Dad, I learned how to carry it so he couldn't get through to me, and I couldn't live in fear. For many years, I hated him for this behavior.

In my Dad's defense, he was a good man, in fact, he was a great man; however, alcohol is an addictive, destructive legal drug. Period. My Dad was a high-ranking officer in the Airforce, and a 30-year Senior Engineer with General Motors. He loved all of us! I know my Dad feels bad on the other side about this, but I forgave him decades ago.

For the most part, I was a quite kid, well at least until the world forced me to be tougher! I would like to elaborate on this a bit. It has taken me decades to figure out that being a sensitive energy person is not a weakness. Let me repeat. This is not a weakness! I didn't realize this seriously until recently. Some people thought I was a mean tough girl in high school, and yes, even now to some. Let me just say, when you are this sensitive and come with Gifts, YOU SHOULD BE TOUGH! Over the year's we learn how to protect ourselves. This is exactly what I did, I grew a shell. It is still a work in progress to allow myself to feel and be hurt. If you're able to feel those feelings, then you're living. For many year's I wouldn't allow myself to feel. Although, I have made some progress, I cry over FB posts, movies, and just about anything. I'm doing better with it but I still need work. But my message for you is this ... if you picked up this book and you have a Gift, you are sensitive, period. Embrace it, and accept it. It's a positive trait, no doubt. You just need to learn to #1 understand it, and how #2 to protect yourself and still enjoy feeling life. You can also use this Gift to feel the positive life experiences that are presented to you.

Today I'm working on removing the shell that I built to protect myself. I can't move on until I allow myself to feel, completely. I had a spirit communication with my Dad this morning (3/22/17), he's very sorry. I told him he didn't know how sensitive I was, and I didn't understand the hell he was going through either. He never hit me, or abused me; I was just scarred of him, and hated him for hurting my mom. He cried and hugged my younger self (around 8-9 years old) in my vision. I need to move on, this isn't my Dad's issue, this is MY issue. I built the shell, I need to practice taking it off to feel safe again. Do you understand what I'm saying? I'm not blaming my Dad, I'm taking responsibility for the shell I built. There's no reason to say, "poor me." My Dad gave us a wonderful home, and life. We never went without anything, always had designer clothes, food, money for fun, etc. He was great to talk to and lean on when there wasn't alcohol involved. The worse part, he rarely remembered his tantrums. Thank God again for my mother, she really was beyond wonderful to us all. I was fortunate enough to have a Mother Theresa, June Cleaver, and Betty Crocker rolled-up into my Mom, Carolyn.

Back to being a young girl, I couldn't stand scary things, movies, and I couldn't stand scary costumes, Halloween decorations, etc. I'm glad to share another young adult experience in the spiritual realm. I was renting a home when I was 23 and my spouse at the time wanted to have a Halloween party. Oh goodie, here we go! Well, over the course of a few weeks we acquired several scary decorations.

Did you know you can bring negative energies into your home? Oh, you betcha you can, and I did. Fear! Fear brings negative energies in. I would NOT recommend it. Weeks prior to the party the decorations were set-up in the basement where I also had to do laundry. My spouse had put in a black light in the laundry room because it was "spooky" and it was on the way to the bar in our basement. Well every time I had to go to the washer or dryer, I was sprinting it up the stairs because I knew something was behind me. About a week before the party I started the clothes washer and turned off all the lights in the basement. It was a Sunday, we headed out to play some softball, and when we returned, 4-5 hours later, the black light was on, and the washer was still running. The washer never did this again, and no maintenance man was ever called. It was a negative spirit playing games, no doubt! The night of our party, 3 people lost their keys or should I say they were misplaced by some spirit. One set was found in the grass; another was found in a fake coffin we had and I can't remember the other. As you can probably guess, I don't allow Halloween parties any more. The world has enough negative energy that you shouldn't invite it in.