Gratefully Disappointed is a walk through my life as a young girl growing up in East New York, Brooklyn navigating this thing called "life" learning who I am as a woman; appreciating my purpose as a human being despite a series of life altering disappointing events. I have learned that life's unpredictable events are the seeds that prepare us for Living!
Gratefully Disappointed
Learn Through Forgiveness
By Sabrina Umstead SmithTrafford Publishing
Copyright © 2016 Sabrina Umstead Smith
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4907-6087-2Contents
Chapter 1 — The Typewriter, 1,
Chapter 2 — Giving Back, 3,
Chapter 3 — Big Business: Corporate Union, 13,
Chapter 4 — Life Is Good, 17,
Chapter 5 — Love, Baby, Marriage, 19,
Chapter 6 — Fire Extinguishes, 21,
Chapter 7 — Birth and Relocation, 25,
Chapter 8 — Juggle, Juggle, Juggle, Shuffle, Shuffle, Shuffle, 27,
Chapter 9 — Death Revisited, 34,
Chapter 10 — Love, Remarriage, and Self-Hate, 37,
Chapter 11 — Death Again, 43,
Chapter 12 — Breakdown, 45,
Chapter 13 — Hidden Hurts Exposed, 48,
Chapter 14 — Forgiveness, 55,
CHAPTER 1
The Typewriter
Garry Wills in his book Certain Trumpets describes leadership as "... reciprocally engaging two wills, one leading (often in disguised ways) the other following (often while resisting)." There is always a struggle, often a feud; a tug of wills." I read this sentence a few times and traveled back to the following event from my teenage years. It was Christmas 1971: behold, underneath our magnificent white-branched artificial Christmas tree was a beautifully wrapped huge box with my name, Sabrina, on the gift tag. What could this be? I wondered. My excited, high-pitched giggling filled the room as I focused on that box, grabbing it and ripping the paper off. I saw the word royal boldly printed on the box. "Wow!" I screamed, my face stretching and contorting, with excitement, "My very own brand-new Royal Electric typewriter." This was exciting since I loved to type. Having my own typewriter meant I could practice typing on my own time, not only in school. Years earlier, my mother convinced me I needed to have exceptional typing skills to secure a good job, which is probably why I received the typewriter as a Christmas gift.
Not long after receiving that typewriter, on a warm summer evening, my mother came home from work and announced, "Sabrina, you're coming with me this evening to our block association meeting. Bring a pen and some paper because you're going to be the secretary." Remember, I was a young teenager, fourteen or fifteen, with plans of my own that involved hanging out with my friends, engaging in fun teenager activities. It was my belief and understanding that adults were responsible for attending meetings to get things done, such as organizing the community. Besides, what possible contributions could a teenager make, and what was I going to get out of it? Block association secretary was certainly not my idea of excitement, but I really did not have a vote in this decision. I don't recall how much in-my- head kicking and screaming I did, because at that age and at that time, I dare not respond with anything other than "Yes, Ma." I did what I was told, and it really was not all that bad. I certainly improved my typing skills and gained a plethora of knowledge about community involvement, activism, and connectedness.
CHAPTER 2
Giving Back
Active participation in the community was a quality that was instilled in our family by my maternal grandparents. There was always enough to share with others or help others in need. My mother's family migrated to New York from North Carolina, believing more opportunities and a better life existed up North. They planted their roots in a Brooklyn neighborhood. The core values of the family were hard work, fami
