The Road to Kuwait: Emotions

I know that most of you know about emotions and what they are, but I want to give you an example of what your emotions do to you and how they make you feel when you have a big thing happen to you. You get all of the emotions you can think of in just a short time, and how you make it through will depend on how you treat each one of the emotions.

I am sure most of you have ridden on a rollercoaster with really high hills and from those hilltops, you plunge down into a valley at top speed and you feel like you will be thrown out of the car if you weren't fastened in so tightly. On the other hand, some feel like the greasy fries they ate just before the ride will come lurching out of their stomach, or will get their head banged from side to side as the rollercoaster turns a curve as it speeds on the rails ...

Well, that is kind of how your emotions are when you come to a life changing moment in your life. You're excited, then worried and you have a stomach ache, a headache, then you get really excited, then you start thinking, and pondering about how it will be in a new country, a new culture, with a new people.

Then you begin to think Oh! I need to do automatic pay, I need to get a power of attorney for those who will take care of my affairs while I am there ... then your stomach takes a plunge and you get a headache, or you get really tired just thinking of all the things you need to do before you go . it is literally exhausting.

Then I suppose the worse part for me is to have to say goodbye to my little family ... of course it is not like I am going to be gone for the rest of my life and never come back, I will come back in the summer time. The bonds of our relationships are so strong now, that nothing will tear us apart.

The hardest part of having to say goodbye, is that I already miss everyone. I will miss Javier, my rock and my sidekick for the past fourteen years, all of his antics and the way he comes in; I'm in bed asleep, and he says; "What'd ya fix me to eat?" I will miss my six-year old granddaughters' antics and when they argue with each other, and play and act goofy, or just simply read together just before they go to bed. I will miss my boy calling me just to say hi and tell me his truck broke down, or how he is pissed because he didn't finish his route, or he got a sucky truck or how Serena, my newest grandbaby winked at him or puckered her lip just so, just before she screamed that hungry scream with her face crimson red. I will miss Elana's little crinkly face just before she answers a question she has been thinking about, and how she bounces when she walks up the steps at my son's house to go upstairs and play with my other two granddaughters. I will miss Sarah's little s*** eatin' grin just before she breaks out laughing about one of my antics, or when her eyes sparkle just before she tells me that I am amazing. I will miss our girly talks. I will miss Alycia's smart alecky attitude, or the way she chews me out because I don't get something, and Riley's calm demeanor and how he and Alycia look so good together.

I will miss everyone's birthdays. I will not be able to hug my kids and grandkids physically, that is going to be hard for me. If my son or daughter needs me, I can't just hop in a car and drive there, they will be ok though, and so will I.

Having to say goodbye to friends here in town is hard too, because we will not be able to just pick up the phone when we think about each other or go out to coffee to chat.

Many things are going to change. My emotions run high, and I lose patience and have low tolerance for a lot of noise when I am going through the gamut of emotions in a situation like this.

I always keep myself in check though, but there are those times when you have a bad day and everything that could go wrong does go wrong. Then you snap, or cry, or just want to throw something out the window or scream at the top of your lungs. The next person that talks to you, you just want to bite their head off, and they had nothing to do with what I was upset about, well, that is what emotions do to you.

Now all this "emotion" might sound negative, but in reality, it is not. It is real, very real, and it is something that everyone has. Some of us are better able to control it than others. Some people stay snappy through it all, some turn into a nervous bundle, and some people just cry to get the buildup of emotions out. It just depends on the maturity of the person and how well they can handle stress and emotion.

To get through it, make lists, accept help, think things through rationally, pull away from it and distract oneself with a game or something. When you feel you are overwhelmed, some may say take a stiff drink, I can't do that, ha! ha! So I just take a nap. That usually gets me feeling better.

So while I am over there, how do I get through the emotional part of being without my family and the things that are familiar to me?

I give a lot of credit to the advent of modern communication, Skype, Facebook and phone that could call to the moon if anybody lived there. So I will have to settle for that and the ten-hour difference, I will be in the next day when everyone here is going to bed.

On the other hand, to ease the shock of going to a new country and culture, educate yourself, find out what other people have experienced, read blogs, look at the geography of the country, read about their religion, culture and mannerisms, anything that will help you ease into your new situation.

Although, friends, articles, news reports, documentaries, blogs and social media and the like can inform you, as in anything else in life, you never really know until you experience it, until you are there in the thick of it all, go out, make new friends, join clubs, get to know your neighbors and get out and visit your new surroundings. I am sure this will ease the blow. I have lived as an expat before. You have to make the effort. If you are negative, strangely enough, negativity will seek you or you will find it. If you are positive then positivity will come to you, it is all really up to you — it is what you make of it.

I thought I was going to get a lot of rebuttal from family members, friends, and my cyber friends, but mostly I have had nothing but support. A few have asked me if it was safe there, but they are excited for me and wish me well on my new adventure.

I am thankful for the support of all and I go with my heart filled with my new adventure. I hope that you will read my notes and come along with me.

The Road to Kuwait – why Go?

It is really a shame that one has to look elsewhere in the world to find a job in what one has studied hard and trained for. It is difficult to be a teacher with the added challenge of what is considered the least appreciated job in the world. Nevertheless, modern day 'business' and politics always want to make sure that a dollar is saved here and there and God forbid we would have to pay a teacher more than what they think (s)he should be paid, regardless of experience or education. Veteran, experienced teachers are traded for young inexperienced, right out of school teachers, who do not have a clue what it is to teach in today's classroom. Unfortunately, this unjust exchange is to the detriment of the students in the classroom. But the districts think that they will get results with the young, right out school teachers. In fact, more money is spent to train the new teachers, and results do not occur as immediately as politicians wish. Then after the fact, the new teachers get burnt out five to seven years later, because of the demands placed on them in the classroom.

This has been my observation in the last seven years of being a teacher, and it is going to get worse as the years go by. Meanwhile, the ones who really suffer are the students. The majority of them do not care anyway as they have been deceived by watching too much television, which 'teaches' them how to treat teachers and authority figures. Teachers are portrayed as idiots on most television shows, and the kids think they can treat teachers the way they see on TV. Students also see that famous people are making vast amounts of money, and students want to take after them. Parents are not better supporters of education because they both have to work, and consequently are not at home to help students with homework.

All that being said, I have given up on trying to do my best for the American education system. It is a pointless maze of paperwork, politics, and a business where the teacher has lost power in the classroom.

While looking for work to launch out on my own, I began to think; what were the chances that I could get an overseas job teaching in another country's schools?

I applied to TIE (The International Educator), an online website that assists teachers to look for jobs outside the U.S. In January 2014, I figured I would find a job somewhere in the world by August when my unemployment benefit would run out.

Little did I know, within a week of applying, a principal from one of the several schools in Kuwait City sent me an email asking me if I was interested in a job as a Kinder-2 teacher. It is a private school in which an American curriculum is taught, while students are still being taught the customs and values of Kuwaiti society.

I was very surprised that I got a response so soon. I responded, and told Sarah that I was interested in the position. It is a position that needed to be filled right away as school started again on Feb 9th. The position was a Classroom of twenty-six students of KG-2 (kindergarten); four to six year olds. When she told me this in a telephone conversation, I told her that it wasn't a big deal because I have taught mixed classes while teaching here in the States. She said I would finish the contract year and will be able to go back home in the summer time.

The contract included a round trip, living arrangements, tax-free pay, and transportation to and from the school. When they sent me my offer, the salary they decided on was as much money as I was making net in the district I put thirteen years in the U.S. I couldn't pass that up.

Regardless of the money, it was going to be a new experience all around.

As soon as all the paperwork was done, they said they would look up my ticket. While I was waiting I went through a whirlwind of emotions and organizing 'things' I needed to do before I left. The 'things' included; ending the odd tutoring and teaching jobs I was doing, having to say goodbye to my students, family and friends, talking to as many people about it as I could to make I left no stone unturned while I was out of the country. I had to make sure that I started automatic pay for most of my bills, get a power of attorney for my affairs that I could not conduct from over there, and make arrangements in case something happened to me, such as a grave illness or should I become incapacitated in some way.

I still could not believe that it was really happening, especially so quickly, I left on February 6th.

I did my research on the country and what I could expect when I got there and during my stay. All in all, it sounded like it would be a good time, even the teaching experience was not going to be anything like I had gone through here in the States.

I was excited, but a bit nervous too.

The Road to Kuwait: Isn't it Dangerous?

Despite the vast support I have gotten from friends and family toward my endeavor of going to the Middle East, in some of the conversations I noted that there was an undercurrent of "Ooh, the Middle East", "Are you going to be ok over there?" "Is it safe", and then mostly "isn't it dangerous over there?"

Well, to answer everyone's doubts and apprehensions about my safety, I was going to be fine. But ... the Muslims, or what about Islam, and are they going to make you wear a burqa (complete cover) or a hijab (head scarf)?

As it turned out, I wouldn't have accepted this job if I thought that I would have had to cover up or be anyone but myself. As in any country that you go to visit or stay a while, there are certain customs and social morays that need to be attended to out of consideration for the country and the people who live there.

Think about it this way, when foreigners come to the United States, from what I've seen, the general consensus is, you come over here, you speak (only) English, and be considerate of how we are and comply, and in some cases, some Americans insist that foreign nationals assimilate (I think that is not necessary, but that is another story).

Well, I was going to another country where they also have their 'ways,' and it is polite to show respect by following their rules. The only rules I would have to follow that would be drastically different were to make sure my shoulders and knees were covered, to be respectful of people who pray at prayer time and just be generally polite, after all, I was to be a guest in their country. I did not see these things as a problem as I am a conservative person anyway.

In my research before I even accepted the job, I read many blogs, articles, websites and asked questions. The information I read was from expat blogs and articles from people who live or have lived there. Of all the information I read, only a few had a bad experience. I think anyone's experience depends on personal outlook of how it is going to be in any country you visit or stay for a while. There are plenty of people from England, the U.S. and other countries, and from what I read, they have clubs, get-togethers and they help each other out.

Contrary to popular belief, the Kuwaiti people are very friendly and generous and willing to help.

I read a particular article where a young lady was trying to find a certain place, so she asked a local and he didn't know, so he called over someone he knew, and he didn't know, so they called over some other people. Before she knew it, this young woman had about ten people trying to help her figure out where she was going. Granted, this is just one experience and I can't base my judgment on just that. But to be truthful, I have not read much negative press about Kuwait except that it is really hot in the summer time and very brown and they have sandstorms in the spring.

Kuwait is a modern city like any other, they have great shopping and restaurants and all the other things that you could think of that you would have at home. They have cell phones, Internet and all the electronic conveniences that we have here. I did not think I would suffer much, except from maybe the heat. That would just mean, drink a lot of water!

Some may say; but what about what the media says about the Middle East? Well, one thing you have to understand is that our government controls the news and what is broadcast to us every night. So, before you make any assumptions about anywhere on Earth, don't watch the news, educate yourself.

My understanding of what is going on, and I 'don't do politics', is that the media has us so afraid of the Middle East and any country related to that region of the world, that no one dares go over there for fear of being forced to convert to Islam, with the threat that if you don't they will imprison you or kill you.

Well folks, it is not at all like that. The bad stuff that we hear on the news is about the 2% of radicals who terrorize the whole world, not just where I would be living.

In short, I can dress like I would dress here, and have fun and be myself, dedicate myself to what I have gone there to do – work. I just have to be conservative, respectful of the country and its customs, cover knees and shoulders, be polite, get involved in activities, which are many for the expats, and have fun.

So, although I appreciate the concern for my wellbeing put your fears to rest and come along with me on this marvelous adventure.

Preparations

A lot of people seem to think that when going to another country, knowing you are going to come back later in the year, you just pack a suitcase and wait for the day of your flight to come.

Well — not! There's a whole lot more to it than that.

It is one thing to go to someplace here in the CONUS (Continental United States), but to go to the other side of the world is a whole 'nother story altogether.

If I had a job here in the United States, I could just fly home if anything happened or I was needed. But it's harder to handle emergencies on the home front from half a world away. So I had to delegate authority over personal things, and that is not easy to do when there is so much to remember.

Then there's packing, and bills, and saying goodbye, and going-away parties, making sure I don't forget anyone, reassuring family and friends not to panic if they don't hear from me for the first week or so, etc., etc., etc!

Hmmmm, what to bring? Kuwait was going to be hot soon, so I would bring stuff that was comfortable, conservative, and would not make me sweat too much. At the time of leaving, they had cool evenings and nights. So I would take light stuff: capris, blouses, shirts, and, of course, the frumpies I can bum around my apartment in. So many decisions about clothes! I supposed I would learn more about what to wear as I began to feel comfortable there.