CHAPTER 1

Part One:Before The War

How It All Began

My father's name was Maurycy David Hitner, and hisnickname was Edmund. My mother was called Minaand was nicknamed Nusia.

After a seven-year engagement, my mother and fathermarried and went to live in the city of Kraków (formercapital of Poland). It was there that I was born, on May 28,1930, weighing ten pounds.

I was given the name Henrieta Roza Hitner, but Ihave dropped the name Roza and added a t to Henrieta,becoming Henrietta. They nicknamed me Rita because,according to Mother, the name Henrieta was very long andformal for such a small girl. They cut Henrieta in half, andit became Rita forever. I liked it!

Some days before I was born, my mother's bedroomwas sterilized, along with all the bedclothes, towels, andinstruments needed to conduct the birth.

Afraid that newborn children could be mixed up in thematernity ward, Mother decided to have the child at home.Professor-Doctor Szymanowicz, a famous surgeon of thattime, was hired along with his team. The birth took threedays.

The amount of disappointment I caused by being borna girl was enormous, as Mother feared she would haveto have as many children as necessary to produce a maleheir, and thus preserve the Hitner surname, a name myfather carried as the only son of an important Jewish-Polisharistocratic family.

My mother's first reaction on seeing me was, "Itwasn't worth all that suffering to produce a girl!" But herdisappointment didn't in any way diminish the immenselove she felt for me, despite the severity with which sheraised me.

During the war, however, she thanked God for havinghad a girl, as it would have been impossible to hide acircumcised boy.

Some weeks after I was born, our family moved to thecity of Katowice, where my maternal grandparents lived,Berta and Salo Blum.

My Father's Family

Unfortunately, I never got to know my paternalgrandparents, who died before I was born. Everythingthat I know of them was told to me by my father.

Grandfather Oscar was a local patriarch, owner of theSosnica farm, where he organized traditional festivals atthe end of each harvest. The farmworkers brought theirofferings in enormous baskets carried on their shoulders.On receiving this tribute, Grandfather invited the cutestof the farmworkers to open the festival by dancing withhim.

He died at age forty-two, following a hunt. Afterpursuing a hart at a gallop, he drank a little cool waterfrom a creek and lay down on the grass still sweating. Thushe contracted pneumonia, from which he died.

His funeral was very grand, with the whole city ofPrzemysl turning out. Authorities, representatives of theCatholic Church and of the Jewish community, were therein large numbers, in recognition and mourning. The funeralcortege stretched along the main street of the city. Thecoffin was carried in a glass carriage, and alongside a pageled his horse, which neighed and pranced continually,rearing up in grief at the loss of his owner. His tomb wascompletely covered by the flowers of well-wishers.

All this honor was bestowed on my grandfather becausehe had been an illustrious benefactor to the city: in winterhe sent large quantities of wood to heat the churches andsynagogues, as well as food and money for the less well-off.

My grandmother Helena died of a massive heart attackat the age of forty-five, while taking afternoon tea.

Thus my father became an orphan at the age ofseventeen. An only child, young and wealthy, he didn'thave the experience to manage the land inherited fromhis father. So he sold it and went into cinematography,representing Warner Brothers for the whole of Poland.Later, after marrying my mother, he bought a cinema inKraków.

My Mother's Family

My mother's family comprised grandparents Salo andBerta Blum, my aunt Ala, and my uncles, Edmund,Filip, and Edward. My grandfather Salo was a businessman,owner of a chain of shoe stores, Blum & Binder, inKatowice.

Binder was the name of the firm's junior partner. Theymanufactured, and also imported, the latest styles offootwear from Vienna and Prague. I remember that whenthere was a fight between the partners, Mother was calledon as a peacemaker. Mr. Binder used to say that Mother was"the lady lawyer of the family," since she always resolvedconflicts between the partners in a diplomatic fashion.

Grandpa Salo was a very elegant and vain man. The tailorwho made his suits copied his designs from the Americanmovie star Gary Cooper. In order to get everything just so,Grandpa paid for the tailor to go to the cinema so that hecould see the suit he had to copy.

Grandpa traveled abroad frequently, in order to attendexpositions and bring back the latest fashions for his stores.He was a much respected businessman, whose word wasworth any signature.

Grandma Berta was a witty, vivacious, elegant lady,whose hats were specially ordered from the milliner anddelivered directly to her home. Her activities at homeconsisted of managing the domestic staff, planning themenu for the week, and allocating the funds needed tobuy the provisions.

In addition, she led an intense social life, frequenting thetearooms, where she met up with her friends and daughters(she always enjoyed the company of those younger thanherself) and hosting musical gatherings and fund-raisingcard-playing afternoons.

I went with my grandma to concerts, theatricalproductions, and shows of all types, and we also participatedin various fund-raising events for both the community andoutside.

My grandparents used to spend their vacations at spassuch as Carlsbad or Krynica, where they met the elite ofPolish society.

Aunt Ala, who was one year younger than Mother andextremely vain, was a very eccentric character in both hermanner and dress sense. Separated from her husband,Dolek, she didn't have any children, but she took greatcare of her fox terrier, the little dog Tchiky.

She always dressed elegantly and originally, but in a waythat was sure to attract attention. I especially rememberone of her hats, which was decorated with a little chimneythat had some tulle rising up like smoke.

The heels of her shoes matched the color of her bag orscarf. As she didn't like her front teeth and wanted to havea perfect smile, she didn't think twice about ordering caps,which were rare at that time.

What fascinated me about her was the way her wavyhair framed her face. As she moved her head, the curlstwisted in artistic disarray. And the many bracelets she worejangled with a tinkle I found delightful.

She never used to pay me a lot of attention, as she wasalways busy with her many commitments. The way sheused to show her affection was in giving presents. It wasshe who gave me my first fur coat with a bonnet and mufka(muff).

Aunt Ala was jealous of my mother, even though bothof them were very beautiful in their different ways. Motherdressed in a classical, elegant style, while my aunt was moreflamboyant.

Uncle Edmund, who was the eldest of the sons and hadthe same name as my father, was a lawyer of renown anduncommon intellect. Everybody rightly considered him a"walking encyclopedia." He spoke seven languages fluentlyand was a respected philatelist, in addition to playing thepiano by ear.

It was enough for me to sing a new melody, which Iwould present while dancing, and Uncle Edmund wouldimmediately accompany me on the piano. He was verycharming and was always surrounded by beautiful women.My love for him became idolization. He was my hero andI his acolyte.

Thanks to him, I got into junior high school withoutdifficulty, after not having studied for the five years that thewar lasted. But I'm getting ahead of myself ...

My mother's second brother, Filip (who, coincidentally,shared a name with the man who would become hersecond husband), was a year younger than Edmund andwas another heartthrob. He graduated in advertising,was well respected and handsome, and possessed anirresistible charm. He boasted two dimples, and his smilewas contagious. The prosperity of his company allowed himto realize a dream trip to Brazil in 1939 and thus escape theatrocities of the Nazis.

The physical appearance of the two brothers wasdisarming, albeit in different ways. Edmund was slighter,with a lordly bearing and a diplomatic manner, and hedressed accordingly. Filip had a stronger physique, withbroad shoulders, and he had a roguish, charming smile.

At mealtimes, my place was, tiresomely, next to UncleFilip, who wouldn't let me put my elbows on the table, orswing my legs, or eat with my elbows out. And to remind meto keep my elbows next to my body, he would sometimesmake me eat with a book under each arm.

Finally, there was the youngest brother, Edward; bornduring the First World War, he had a difficult temperament,typical (they said) of a "child of war." He was handsomebut serious. Of the five siblings, only Mother and he hadblue eyes. He was jealous of me because, when I wasborn, he lost the status of being the "baby" of the family.He was noble and very loyal. Being the youngest child,some ten years younger than his brother Filip, he kepthimself—or was kept—apart. A student of dentistry, beforehe graduated even, he used to work at home filling theteeth of his companions by using the motor from a sewingmachine. Very modest with regard to his achievements, henever mentioned that he had dated Kora, the daughter ofmy future stepfather.

The great affinity between Mother and Uncle Filip led toa strong bond between them. Aunt Ala and Uncle Edmundwere another pair who were very close. My grandmother hada preference for Edmund, and Grandpa for my mother.

In truth, they were all adored and blessed with the love,affection, and respect of their parents. As with all families,there were disagreements, such as when Uncle Filip felthurt by his mother's attitude after he asked her to keep safea tidy sum of money that he had accumulated. Heedingthe tugs at a mother's heartstrings, when Uncle Edmundneeded money, Grandma Berta didn't think twice aboutpassing on the savings of the one brother to the other.Despite this, Uncle Filip didn't hold a grudge.

Above all, the atmosphere that reigned in mygrandparents' house was always one of joy, harmony, andunity. I remember that when my grandmother fell sick andneeded to go to the hospital, Uncle Filip—the strongest ofthe three brothers—took her in his arms and carried her tothe ambulance all the way down from the second floor.

My grandparents' house was called "the doll's house,"since both the daughters and the sons were very handsome.The local families in the community sighed at the prospectof my uncles—Edmund, Filip, and Edward—pairing off withtheir daughters. All the same, none of them married. I thinkthey were very demanding and at the same time contentwith living in their parents' house. Although the daughtersmarried, they were not happy marriages: both of themdivorced.

Innocent Pursuits

I soon perceived that life could be very interesting, even asthe only child in the house and having nothing to do, asI loved to follow adult conversations unnoticed.

To do this, I found the perfect place. I used to stayhidden beneath the enormous dining table, which wascovered by a large embroidered green velvet cloth that hadlong fringes reaching down to the floor.

From here I was able to hear any conversation I chose,without anyone knowing I was there. I had a lot of fununder there. Some people took off a shoe, probably torelieve a discomfort, or shifted their legs. Others exercisedtheir toes.

The adults were generally so self-absorbed that theydidn't notice when I sneaked out of my hiding place theminute that the topic of conversation turned less interesting.I then went to play with my dolls or to do my homework,but I returned immediately when the conversation droppedto a whisper.

My favorite pastime was walking. Nearly every afternoon,I went out on my beautiful silent blue metal hulajnoga (kickscooter), with its rubber wheels and loud bell. I mentionthese details because, in those days, kick scooters weregenerally made from wood and didn't have springs, whichmade them noisy.

I used to go to the park, but not before going tothe bakery, where for fifty groszy (cents), I could buy asweetbread filled with cheese that I used to savor.

On other occasions, I'd go to the cinema for free, asmy father was known among the cinematographic circles,and watch the cartoons that they used to show ahead ofthe movie.

It was enough for me to present myself at the ticket officeas Edmund Hitner's daughter for them to let me in. Afterthe cartoons finished, I was asked to leave the auditorium,as usually the movies were prohibited to minors. Thus I wasa happy child, who always gladly welcomed the gifts lifehanded my way, however small they were.

My Parents' Separation

In 1938, to my great sadness, my parents divorced. Fathermoved to Warsaw, while Mother and I went to live withmy maternal grandparents in Katowice.

In truth, their separation had been coming for a while.When I realized that Father was almost never at home, Iasked my mother why. She told me that he needed to be inWarsaw because of his work, but he would always visit mewhenever his professional commitments allowed.

After the separation, Mother was invited to supervise thecinemas in Katowice and other cities nearby; she acceptedwith pleasure, because she always liked to keep herselfbusy.

As her work required continual travel, albeit very shorttrips, I was placed in the care of my grandparents, whichincluded sleeping in their bedroom.

All the same, my childhood was so wonderful thatmy parents' separation had almost no effect on myhappiness.

Of course on trips, which were always made with onerather than both of them, it made me sad to see otherchildren playing with both their parents. But my parentsmade sure that they were always present in my life, evenwhile they were separated.

Improvised Conductor

Greatly loved by my grandparents, aunt, and uncles,although not a spoiled child, I was fought overby everyone on Sundays, to be taken on trips or otheramusements, such as going skating or to the cinema,theater, circus, or snack bar.

I remember that one Sunday morning, my grandfathertook me to a candy store with live music. We were enjoyinga delicious ice cream when suddenly the children presentwere invited by the bandleader to go onstage and showoff their "talent."

Some recited poetry; others sang accompanied by theorchestra. I recall a girl who won a bar of chocolate forreciting a verse. Next, a boy stood on a chair to reach themicrophone and sang a song, winning a box of lollipops.

I didn't want to take part because, to my surprise andhorror, I couldn't remember anything. But my grandfatherliterally dragged me onto the stage and put me up on thechair next to the bandleader, asking him to introduce me.I stood there desperately trying to think of something, soas not to disappoint my grandfather, who had returned tothe table, eyes shining, ready to burst into applause.

The people sat around the room were watching me,waiting for something that simply wasn't happening. Icould dance (which I found easy, even improvising), butthere was no space to do so.

Then out of the blue, I had a brilliant idea: I askedfor the leader's baton and said that I would conduct theorchestra. They started to play ... and it worked! By pureluck, knowing the melody, I was able to keep the rhythmwell, to the complete jubilation of my grandfather. And thiswas how I made my "triumphant entry" into artistic life.

As a prize, I won a box of champagne cookies, just thesort of cookie that I never liked and still don't like eventoday.

Other Activities

From the time I was three years old, Mother took me torhythmic gymnastics classes, which, according to her,I enjoyed a lot. Over time, I moved on to ballet and pianolessons, which also gave me a lot of pleasure.

At school, I loved to take part in every type of culturalevent. I remember, one Mother's Day, paying tribute to mymother by reciting the following verse:

    Mamusiu moja droga
    Co dzien prosze Boga
    By zdrowie i sily
    Zawsze Ci sluzyly.

    My dearest Momma, each day
    I look to God and pray
    That health and energy
    Will always keep you company.