Finding the Silver Lining in Divorce | What to Do When I Do Turns Into I Don't
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Editorial: Balboa Press, 2013
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Finding the Silver Lining in Divorce | What to Do When I Do Turns Into I Don't | Kendra Crowell-Hurd Ma | Taschenbuch | Kartoniert / Broschiert | Englisch | 2013 | Balboa Press | EAN 9781452571867 | Verantwortliche Person für die EU: Libri GmbH, Europaallee 1, 36244 Bad Hersfeld, gpsr[at]libri[dot]de | Anbieter: preigu Print on Demand.
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- Título
- Finding the Silver Lining in Divorce | What to Do When I Do Turns Into I Don't
- Autor
- Kendra Crowell-Hurd Ma
- Editorial
- Balboa Press
- Año de publicación
- 2013
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- Neu
- Encuadernación
- Taschenbuch
- Idioma
- inglés
- ISBN 10
- 1452571864
- ISBN 13
- 9781452571867
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- 339 gramos
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- 229 x 152 x 12 mm
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Fragmento. © Reproducción autorizada. Todos los derechos reservados.
Finding The Silver Lining In Divorce
What To Do When "I Do" Turns into "I Don't"
By Kendra Crowell-HurdBalboa Press
All rights reserved.
Contents
| Foreword................................................................... | xv |
| Preface.................................................................... | xix |
| Introduction............................................................... | xxi |
| Chapter 1 Physical Tools:.................................................. | 1 |
| Chapter 2 Spiritual Tools:................................................. | 11 |
| Chapter 3 Mental and Emotional Tools:...................................... | 57 |
| Chapter 4 Mental, Emotional, and Spiritual Tools:.......................... | 79 |
| Chapter 5 Mental, Emotional, Physical, and Spiritual Tools:................ | 123 |
| Acknowledgments............................................................ | 163 |
| Bibliography and Suggested Reading......................................... | 169 |
| Other References/Suggested Sources......................................... | 177 |
| About the Author........................................................... | 179 |
Excerpt
CHAPTER 1
Physical Tools:
1. Illness—Find out what your body is trying to say to you.What is your body saying that your mouth is not saying? Forexample, sinus issues can be complicated by "irritation withsomeone close—even being irritated with yourself." BeforeI had ever heard of Mind/Body Medicine, and when I hadjust become a therapist at the age of forty-eight, I was ona massage table with a sciatic issue. The massage therapistasked me, "Do you know what sciatic issues say in the mind/body connection?" I replied, "What is that?" She replied, "Youdon't know?" She left the room, returned with Heal YourBody by Louise Hay, and gave it to me. According to the book,sciatic means, "being hypocritical," not being straight withyourself. (A sciatic issue also relates to "fear of money andthe future," according to Louise Hay.) I said, "I think I willhit you when I get off this table." She answered, "My, I musthave hit a nerve!" She was correct. I had just returned froma vacation with an old boyfriend that (because of my owntherapy process) I knew was not healthy for me. I came homelimping and in pain with a sciatic issue! You Can Heal YourLife and Heal Your body by Louise Hay have never been wrongfor me personally, or for any of my clients in my twenty-twoyears of counseling practice. All is Well—Heal Your Bodywith Medicine, Affirmations, and Intuition by Louise Hayand Dr. Mona Lisa Schulz is your guide to wholeness and well-being.My wish is that more medical doctors, health careprofessionals, and medical schools will discover and utilizethe research and wisdom shared in this book.
2. Exercise—This helps you release stress and stay in shape. Dowhat your body loves, and you are more likely to continueyour exercise or movement program. Exercise. Move yourbody. If you're inclined, get a personal trainer or a friend toencourage you. (As the title of Dr. Jane Pentz's book asks, Ifyou don't take care of your body, where else are you going tolive?) It is better to use self-restraint than to deal with feelingsof regret.
3. Eat healthy—Eat fruits and vegetables and more fruits andvegetables. Take a look at Eat Right 4 Your Type by Dr. PeterJ. D'Adamo. Or try Weight Watchers.
4. Massage—This helps reduce stress and keeps you out ofbed with the wrong people. If you are a touchy/feely person,massage will help you with "skin hunger."
CHAPTER 2
Spiritual Tools:
5. Intuition—Listen to your gut; pay attention to synchronicityand coincidences; that's God talking to you. I recommend thefollowing books: Trust Your Vibes by Sonia Choquette, YourSixth Sense by Belleruth Naparstek, The Secret Language ofSigns by Denise Linn, When God Winks by Squire Rushnell,Divine Intuition by Lynn A. Robinson, and Second Sight byJudith Orloff. Coincidence is an accidental sequence of eventsthat appear to have a casual relationship. Sometimes Godspeaks to us through coincidences. For example, when I wasgetting a divorce and trying to sell our family home, I lookedat a condo on the west side of town. My real estate agentgirlfriend said that it was a good deal, on a good street, andthat my furniture would fit. (Previously, I had held a Realtor'slicense and managed commercial property.) I did not reallylike the condo, but I really liked the woods behind it. Ourfamily home did not sell, and someone else bought the condo.A year went by, and the country home finally sold—and thecondo came for sale again at the exact same time. I did notwant to live on that side of town, however. I thought I wantedto live on the south side of town where there was a walkingpath for my big, old Labrador. The Realtor told me that shewould not sell me a condo in the south side complex becausethose condos were not well-built. So I found another realestate agent girlfriend, found a condo I liked on the south side,took a contractor to look at the second condo, and found thatthe outside bedroom wall had sunk. This was the reason thatthe master bedroom bed looked like it was going downhill!Needless to say, I went back to the first real estate agent,looked at the original condo, and decided that God must wantme to buy it. Thankfully, I paid attention to the coincidencethat the condo had come up for sale again at the exact sametime that the family home had sold. Having lived in—andloved—my condo for twenty-two years, I am thankful that Ilistened to the synchronicity and coincidence. This locationis very conducive to my in-home counseling business. Godwas trying to support me in my future home business that Idid not know I was going to have! Coincidentally, I have anastrological report that says I could have a successful homebusiness. My counseling business has been in my home full-timesince 2001. Thank you, God.
6. God of your understanding/church—Put God in the centerof your life, and all aspects of your life will work better. (Irecommend reading Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by SusanJeffers.) You can go "church shopping" and notice whichchurch feels good to you. During my divorce process, I visitedeight different churches before I found the church I now love.The church that we had been attending as a family did notfeel right for me anymore.
7. Volunteering/giving back—Create a channel to share yourgifts. Before our divorce was final in 1991, I was fortunateenough to be involved in helping create a Ronald McDonaldHouse in my hometown. I volunteered eight- to ten-hourdays for three years. My therapist said, "You helped build aRonald McDonald House instead of getting a divorce beforeyour daughter became eighteen." (My husband had movedout one month shy of my daughter's high school graduationand one month shy of her eighteenth birthday.) The therapistsaid, "Building a Ronald McDonald House to help hundredsof people was a lot healthier than having an affair!" Wow—thiswas an interesting way to look at my avoidance behavioraround what was going on in my own home!
8. Send blessings—Say, "I am sending blessings," to the onewho hurt you. You can ask God to help you mean it. Keepsaying it until you mean it. To bless means to expand. Sendingblessings to someone is like taking a zipper to heaven; the"good stuff" falls out of heaven on you and the other person.(Thank you to my spiritual director for this tool.)
9. Spend time in nature—Mother Nature is calming and healing.Get your hands in the dirt (unless you are allergic to dirt orflowers) and plant and nurture a garden. Nature is God'stranquilizer. Help God bring beauty into your life.
10. Join or start a Mastermind Group—"Where two or three aregathered together and in my name, there am I in the Midst ofThem." (Matthew 18:20. Authorized King James Version, TheNational Bible Press, Philadelphia ). Meet weekly or monthly,and pray the same prayer for each person in the group. Thenevery day, each person prays for the other members of thegroup. ( The resource for establishing a Master Mind Groupis from Mastermind Publishing, Warren, Michigan.)
11. Ask for God's guidance—Ask God to tell you what his willis for you, and then follow and obey. When we are doingGod's will for our lives, doors open in front of us. Whenwe don't do God's will, doors close and life is a struggle.Don't get a stick of dynamite and try to open doors thatGod has closed. Let go and let God. Listen for answers in adream, gut feelings, intuition, synchronicity, coincidences,number patterns repeating, and/or a repeating pattern ofseeing the same animal. I recommend the following books:Animal-Speak by Ted Andrews, Angel Numbers by DoreenVirtue, If Christ Were Your Counselor by Chris Thurman.Here is an example of gut feelings (a knowingness or intuitionof God talking to you): for about four months prior to theSeptember 11, 2001, terrorist attacks, I had the feeling that Ishould go to my stockbroker and have him turn some of myinvestments into cash. The feeling would not go away, and Icould not sleep well. Finally, weeks before 9/11, I went to thestockbroker. He suggested that I might not want to do that.Even though he was the head of the investment firm, I hadhim do it anyway. After 9/11 he told me that my feelings werevery smart and that one other person had done the samething—a psychologist. Attuned to their intuition, spiritualpeople are invested in listening to their gut feelings becausewe know it is God talking to us.
12. Praying on your knees—Be humble before God. Irecommend reading Praying God's Will for My Life by LeeRoberts. When the ducks in my pond were getting out of arow and going to different ponds in different states (sinceeverything I was doing wasn't working), I got down on myknees. That is when my life started turning around for thebetter. My ducks were getting out of a row, so my duckscould get back in a healthier row.
13. Find what archetype you are living, and if you don't like it,change it—victim, child, warrior, princess, and so on. ReadSacred Contracts by Caroline Myss and King, Warrior,Magician, Lover by Robert Moore and Douglas Gillette.
14. Invite your guardian angel to help you—Give your guardianangel a name and ask for help. Angels are just waiting for youto invite them to help you. I recommend the following booksand cards to learn more about guardian angels: Healing withthe Angels, Angel Numbers, Messages from your Angels OracleCards, and Ascended Masters Oracle Cards—all by DoreenVirtue. I also recommend Spirit Guides & Angel Guardiansby Richard Webster.
15. Spirit animal—Ask for a dream to tell you what your spiritanimal is. You do not have to go on a vision quest to get youranswer. What are the characteristics of that animal? If youare a bear or an eagle, you have few predators; however, if youare a deer, you have numerous predators. Alter your thoughtsand behavior so that you are strong and others do not preyupon you. Read Animal Speak by Ted Andrews. My spiritanimal is a tiger, according to a dream. The keynote for atiger is "Passion, Power, Devotion, and Sensuality." Andrewswrites, "When Tiger shows up there will begin to manifestnew adventures and renewed devotion and passion for life."That is what has been and continues to manifest in my life.Thank you, tiger, for walking this journey with me!
16. Pay attention to the animals in your backyard, and to animalsthat cross your path-- What does that particular animal meanmetaphysically? How does that animal apply to you in youreveryday life? (Animal Speak by Ted Andrews). For example,Native Americans believe that God uses animals to give usmessages. In Animal Speak, the author lists what differentanimals mean to the Native Americans. The great blue heronrelates to "aggressive self-determination and self-reliance."If the book's explanation of the animal does not make senseto you in the context of your encounter, ask yourself, Whatis the animal doing? What is the animal's behavior saying?In my case, while on vacation in Florida, the blue heron wasscanning the ocean, and paying attention to the horizon.The bird was not fishing. It was watching and scanningthe ocean's horizon on Anna Maria Island, Florida, wheremy good friend and I were on vacation. The house we wererenting had a deck overlooking the Seven Mile Bridge fromTampa. The first day we were out on the deck, a blue heronwas on the gutter of the house next door. He stayed on thegutter for a long time. We took a picture of the bird scanningthe horizon—not fishing, just scanning the horizon and theweather. The next day, the bird was back and stayed on thegutter while we were on the deck. The day after that, theblue heron sat on the deck while we looked through a picturewindow at the bird. It was cool and windy outside, so we didnot go out on the deck that day. The day before we were toleave Anna Maria Island, the bird was standing on the decklooking at us through the window—staring us in the eyes. Hewas not afraid of us and just stared at us through the glass. Iknew the bird was trying to tell us something. A few minuteslater, we were watching the weather forecast and there was awarning for a heavy storm for that night and the next day. Idecided to follow my gut, and my friend agreed—due to mydemonstrated conviction that we should leave the island a dayearly and travel back to Orlando before flying home. As wewere leaving the island, we stopped at a beach restaurant tobuy T-shirts. We heard a waiter tell the staff that they neededto move the beach party planned for that evening inside,because there was a bad storm coming. After we returned toIllinois, my friend received the security deposit with a notethat stated, "You did the right thing by leaving a day early.We had really bad weather after you left—it got very uglyhere." The great blue heron was God's messenger about theapproaching bad weather because the bird was scanning thehorizon for the storm that was coming. There was glass allacross the back of our condo, and the ocean was literally twofeet off our deck. I can't swim in this lifetime, which addedto my anxiety.
17. Find out what your aura colors are—What do they mean?If you don't like what they represent, change your thinkingand your behavior to heal that particular issue. This is a funexercise, if you like colors. I recommend reading What ColorIs Your Aura? by Barbara Bowers.
18. Embrace change—Change is abundant with possibilities.The Greek philosopher Heraclitus once said, "The only thingconstant is change itself." I recommend reading EmbracingUncertainty by Susan Jeffers, PhD.
19. Use astrology to find out what kind of energy you brought toearth-- (Check out www.mooncircles.com by Dana Gerhardt.)One astrology report I read stated that if I were divorced frommy husband in this lifetime, it would be the first lifetimewith him that I got it right. In other lifetimes, I had stayed.Fortunately, I read that after my divorce, so I felt validated.I recommend reading The Day You Were Born: A Journeyto Wholeness through Astrology and Numerology by LindaJoyce.
20. Use numerology to find out what your parents "intuitivelyknew" when they named you-- (Check out www.spiralpath.com by Carol Adrienne.) I was once at a spirituality lecture atour local medical school, and there was an Egyptian man inthe audience. He read my name tag and asked if I knew whatKendra means in Egyptian. "No," I answered, inquisitively. Heinformed me that Kendra means "center" in Egyptian. I wasamazed because "centering" is what I have taught myself todo, and it is part of what I teach the counseling clients Godsends me.
21. Have past life regression therapy to heal any energy leaksfrom a past life-- Some great books on this subject areMany Lives, Many Masters, Messages from the Masters, andMiracles Happen—all by Brian Weiss. I have experiencedthree past life hypnosis sessions, and have seen six differentpast lives. I was pleasantly surprised after the first session.I saw a National Geographic color movie in my mind that Icouldn't make up in my wildest dreams! One past life explainswhy I make a conscious effort to listen to my intuition. Inabout 1870, I stopped in a town against my gut instinct. Igot shot and killed because I was in the wrong place at thewrong time—walking by a bank in a western town when bankrobbers were coming out of the bank. In this lifetime, I getanxious when I ignore my gut feelings. Now I know why. Notlistening to your gut can sometimes place you in harm's way.Listen to your gut. It is God talking to you. During anotherpast life regression session, I saw myself on a wagon traingoing from the east to the west with my husband (a man I wasin a relationship with in this lifetime for about eight years)and our three children. (One of our children is my cousin inthis lifetime, and the other two are friends of mine who werein a relationship together in this life.) When my current lifecousin met my significant other (in this life), she put her armsout to hug him—and she is not a touchy-feely person. Whenmy other daughter and husband in that western life met inthis lifetime, she said to me, "You need to date him." Thesetwo women in this lifetime were saying, "You need to date ourfather from another life." We indeed go around in soul groupsand subconsciously recognize souls from other lifetimes!
(Continues...)
Excerpted from Finding The Silver Lining In Divorce by Kendra Crowell-Hurd. Copyright © 2013 by Kendra Crowell-Hurd, MA. Excerpted by permission of Balboa Press.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
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