CHAPTER 1

Phase 1

It's All About You

Discover the Real You

Being honest with yourself and figuring out who you are will allow you to build and strengthen your foundation. Once your foundation is built, you can move forward with clarity about who you want to be and what you want to do.

On your journey you will discover the following:

* Your truth

* What you stand for

* Who you aspire to be

* Your aspirations

* What you're passionate about

* What you want to do with your life

* Where you want to be in the next three years

* How you want to be perceived

* The type of career you want to pursue

* How to identify your ultimate goals

* How to bring your goals to fruition

* How to create your game plan for success

* How to overcome obstacles

* How to recognize your learned lessons

Blimish's truth

You are not alone. When I graduated from high school, I was clueless. I didn't know who I was, what I wanted to do with my life, or who I wanted to be when I grew up. What I did know was that I did not want to go to college, since I had barely finished high school. Instead of taking the time to figure out who I was as a person, at the tender age of eighteen, I naively inserted myself into a hard-core, fast-paced, aggressive world that I wasn't ready for.

Are you ready to face your truth?

Let's start with a question:

Who are you?

The question "who am I?" should be embedded in your subconscious mind, whether you are

• just graduating from high school

• registering for college

• entering the workforce

• joining the armed forces

• becoming an entrepreneur

• pursuing career advancement

• unhappy with the direction of your life

• searching for your passion

• reinventing yourself

• simply trying to figure out your life

Now ask yourself, "Who am I really?"

Identifying the adjectives that best describe your character will help you recognize which trait or traits you want to enhance or eliminate.

I'm in the process of discovering who I am.

* Find a quiet room, and sit in front of a mirror.

* Take a deep breath, and slowly exhale.

* Be totally honest as you ask yourself the following question:

Who am I right now, at this very moment?

Write down the adjectives you would use to describe who you are as a person.

Something for you to think about

If you aren't honest with yourself — the one person who matters the most — how can you possibly be honest with anyone else?

I'm in the process of discovering who I am.

* Find a quiet room, and sit in front of a mirror.

* Take a deep breath, and slowly exhale.

* Be totally honest as you ask yourself the following question:

What challenges am I currently facing?

I'm in the process of discovering who I am.

* Find a quiet room, and sit in front of a mirror.

* Take a deep breath, and slowly exhale.

* Be totally honest as you ask yourself the following question:

What do I like most about myself?

I'm in the process of discovering who I am.

* Find a quiet room, and sit in front of a mirror.

* Take a deep breath, and slowly exhale.

* Be totally honest as you ask yourself the following question:

What do I like least about myself?

Something for you to think about

When you invest in yourself, you start believing in your potential, you take pride in who you are, your self-esteem becomes untouchable, your ego is in check, and you refuse to settle for less.

I'm in the process of discovering who I am.

* Find a quiet room, and sit in front of a mirror.

* Take a deep breath, and slowly exhale.

* Be totally honest as you ask yourself the following question:

What steps can I take to change what I dislike about myself?

Blimish's truth

It happens to the best of us. As a young adult, for no reason whatsoever, I would use foul language all the time. In hindsight, I had no reason for cursing other than thinking I was a grown-up, so I could do whatever I wanted to do.

I remember interviewing for a sales associate position at a local department store (a job I really needed, because rent was due in two weeks and I was unemployed), and my bad habit of cursing came out. Needless to say, I didn't get the job. I was so disappointed in myself. I made a promise to myself at that moment to stop using foul language by thinking before I spoke. This caused me to speak slower and more deliberately.

I'm in the process of discovering who I am.

* Find a quiet room, and sit in front of a mirror.

* Take a deep breath, and slowly exhale.

* Be totally honest as you ask yourself the following question:

How can I become a better person?

Words of wisdom

Making personal changes is something only you can do because you want to better yourself for yourself.

For you to change your bad behavior, you must first be open and honest with yourself and then do the following:

[check] Identify your bad behavior.

[check] Own it.

[check] Don't make any excuses for it.

[check] Make the change or changes slowly and steadily.

[check] Understand that change comes from the heart and requires consistent effort.

I'm in the process of discovering who I am.

* Find a quiet room, and sit in front of a mirror.

* Take a deep breath, and slowly exhale.

* Be totally honest as you ask yourself the following question:

What bad habits do I want or need to quit?

I'm in the process of discovering who I am.

* Find a quiet room, and sit in front of a mirror.

* Take a deep breath, and slowly exhale.

* Be totally honest as you ask yourself the following question:

What can I do today to stop my bad habits?

Something for you to think about

When you truly understand who you are, you become empowered with knowledge that can increase, improve, and intensify your self-worth.

Are you the person you want to be?

Now ask yourself, "Who do I aspire to be?"

Remember, you are what you answer to, so become the person you want to be.

I'm in the process of discovering who I am.

* Find a quiet room, and sit in front of a mirror.

* Take a deep breath, and slowly exhale.

* Be inspired as you answer this question.

What type of person do I want to be?

I'm in the process of discovering who I am.

* Stop and sit still for sixty seconds.

* Close your eyes, and visualize your future.

* Open your eyes, and without second-guessing yourself, finish this sentence:

One year from now I hope to be _______________________________.

My heart is filled with gratitude.

* Stop and sit still for sixty seconds.

* Close your eyes, and think about your life up to this point.

* Open your eyes, and make a list of everything you are grateful for.

I am grateful for ...

Say it! Me an it! Believe it!

This is my journey, and I am in the process of discovering how amazing I am.

Love and Respect Yourself Unconditionally

When you genuinely love and respect yourself wholeheartedly and unconditionally, you start to create your very own book, Let Me Show You How I Deserve to Be Treated, filled with what you like, what you dislike, what you want, and what you will not tolerate.

Are you in a kind, compassion ate, and respectful relationship with yourself?

I will honor and respect myself.

* Stop and sit still for sixty seconds.

* Inhale confidence and exhale self-doubt.

* Dig deep within, and answer this question:

What should I be doing right now to love and respect myself, mentally, physically, and spiritually?

Words of wisdom

If you do not love and respect yourself wholeheartedly, you can become reckless, thoughtless, and gullible to bullies while being sucked into peer pressure.

This is why it's extremely important for you to know who you are and for you to live by and embody your own moral code – that is, what you strongly believe in and stand for.

When it comes to your moral code,

[check] Know it.

[check] Believe in it.

[check] Stand by it.

[check] Keep it visible.

[check] Be able to clearly articulate what you will not do.

[check] Keep adding to your list of morals and values, so the older you get, the wiser you become.

I have my own identity.

* Stop and sit still for sixty seconds.

* Take a deep breath, and slowly exhale.

* Dig deep within when answering this question:

What do I believe in?

Identifying your beliefs will assist you with creating your own book, Let Me Show You How I Deserve to Be Treated.

I have my own identity.

* Stop and sit still for sixty seconds.

* Take a deep breath, and slowly exhale.

* Dig deep within when answering this question:

What do I stand for?

Identifying your beliefs will assist you with creating your own book, Let Me Show You How I Deserve to Be Treated.

Something for you to think about

It's important not only for you to know what you stand for but also for you to know what you unequivocally will not do, because it would compromise your morals or your values.

I have my own identity.

* Stop and sit still for sixty seconds.

* Take a deep breath, and slowly exhale.

* Think about the things that annoys you the most and then ask yourself.

What are my top ten pet peeves?

I will honor and respect myself.

* Stop and sit still for sixty seconds.

* Take a deep breath, and slowly exhale.

* Stay true to who you are when answering this question:

What will I not tolerate from people who are in my immediate circle (friends, boyfriend/girlfriend, coworkers, classmates, family members)?

I will honor and respect myself.

* Stop and sit still for sixty seconds.

* Take a deep breath, and exhale slowly.

* Think about having honest conversations, and ask yourself this:

What will I do when I need to have a truthful conversation with someone I disagree with (a friend, coworker, boss, teacher, or relative)?

Blimish's truth

Do not let this happen to you. At the beginning of my senior year in high school, I broke up with my boyfriend of two years. I felt lost, lonely, and vulnerable. The break-up had a negative impact on my self-esteem. After the break-up, I started hanging out with a group of girls who were, in hindsight, dysfunctional.

Although I knew right from wrong, the feeling of being lost was overwhelming, and whatever morals or values I had were overruled by my feelings of being betrayed and having my heart broken.

One day I skipped school with my new dysfunctional friends. We went to the local mall, and unbeknownst to me, two of the four girls I was hanging out with decided to shoplift some clothes.

As we were leaving the store, one of my so-called friends asked me to hold her backpack. I was so naive, I did. As soon I took the backpack, a security guard stopped us and started asking me what was in the backpack. He snatched the backpack away from me, and hundreds of dollars' worth of merchandise fell out. We were then escorted to the security office in back of the store. All I could do was cry and scream, "I did not steal that stuff."

My so-called friend did a good job convincing the guard that it was my bag. Twenty minutes later, the police arrived, and we were all handcuff ed. By that time, all of us were crying and terrified. Finally, one of the girls spoke up and admitted to shoplifting, saying I had no idea what they were doing.

Being handcuff ed and accused of shoplifting was the experience I needed to make me realize I knew better and I deserved better. I was released, and as I walked home, sobbing, I promised myself never to put myself in that position again by hanging-out with people I barely knew, by losing sight of who I was and what I stood for, and especially by allowing someone else to damage my self-esteem.

To this day, I believe getting sucked into peer pressure is like giving up your identity. So I refuse to allow another person to take away my options or to determine how my story will end.

Are you the friend you want or expect others to be?

I have my own identity.

* Stop and sit still for sixty seconds.

* Take a deep breath, and exhale slowly.

* Think about your friendships when answering this question:

How do I define friendship?

Something for you to think about

Once you've identified or reconnected with your morals and values, it's extremely important for you to represent yourself accordingly. Become the person you say you are, because you are teaching others how to treat you based on how you conduct yourself.

I will honor and respect myself.

* Stop and sit still for sixty seconds.

* Take a deep breath, and exhale slowly.

* Think about having honest conversations and ask yourself this:

What will I do when I need to have a truthful conversation with someone who is mistreating, disrespecting, or belittling me?

I will honor and respect myself.

* Stop and sit still for sixty seconds.

* Take a deep breath, and exhale slowly.

* Think about having honest conversations and ask yourself this:

How can I remain calm while getting my point across without raising my voice or using foul language?

I will honor and respect myself.

* Stop and sit still for sixty seconds.

* Inhale confidence, and slowly exhale self-doubt.

* Stay true to who you are, and answer this question:

When my self-esteem is low, what words of encouragement can I say to myself to boost my confidence?

Generate positivity.

I am open to giving and receiving magical memories.

Loving and respecting yourself also means being kind and compassionate to others.

Take the generate positivity challenge by making a conscious effort to do the following with sincerity.

[check] Look people in the eye, smile, and say hello.

[check] Give genuine compliments.

[check] Use your manners (please and thank-you).

[check] From time-to-time, do a random act of kindness.

[check] Speak words of encouragement to yourself and to others.

[check] Give people the benefit of the doubt.

[check] Be non-judgmental (get to know the person's story before judging).

[check] Be forgiving.

[check] Be compassionate.

[check] Be considerate.

[check] Do what's right.

[check] Think positive thoughts, and expect positive results.

[check] Walk into a room full of zest!

Say it! Mean it! Believe it!

I will always love and respect myself, no matter what.

Protect Your Reputation

In today's society, almost everyone is armed with a cell phone, which also serves as a camera and a video recorder. Everything is now being captured and posted on social media for all to see, comment on, and judge.

Someone is always watching, and you don't want to be caught on camera doing or saying something you will regret today, tomorrow, or ten years from now.

Blimish's truth

Do not let this happen to you. One of my dear friends was having a girls' night out with some of her so-called friends. They were all having cocktails, talking, laughing, and having a good time. One of the young women decided to video the event on her cell phone without telling the others or getting their consent.

Unbeknownst to my friend, she was recorded saying horrible things about the company she worked for, her boss, and her coworkers, while smoking what appeared to be marijuana.

She didn't know it was recorded until she saw it posted on social media. The posting was viewed by her coworkers, and her boss. Although she was embarrassed, apologetic, and remorseful, she was fired from her job of five years.

In an instant, her reputation was tainted. Two years later, she is still trying to rebuild her reputation.

I own my reputation.

* Stop and sit still for sixty seconds.

* Close your eyes, and visualize how you want to be perceived.

* Open your eyes, and answer this question:

What reputation do I want to build as I begin to flourish into the person I want to become?

Words of Wisdom

Protect your reputation in the same manner you would protect your money, your credit score, your heart, and your life.

Learning how to protect your reputation at an early phase in your life will reduce your fear of what might surface at the most inopportune time.

Just imagine one day you want to run for president of the United States or another political offi ce, or you apply for your dream job, or whatever is important to you and your family. Th en imagine human resources conducting a Google search and checking your online postings.

Do you know you can be Googled by the following people?

* Future employers

* Potential landlords

* Likely roommates

* Possible lovers

* Friends and definitely adversaries