CHAPTER 1

A Search forAnswers Begins

I woke up and wondered, how did I get here? Not for thefirst time I might add. However, on this occasion I reallywondered how I ended up here, in this apartment. Adjacentto a long, meandering, 1850's, early settler constructed, sandstonewall. It seemed to divide the people on one side, from the wildlife,animals, birds and nature. The other side of The Wall revealed aNational Park. Perhaps not so meaningful to some, but to me itmeant I could look out through my window on the second floorand see a family of rabbits running about, an Echidna with apointy nose, a very shy Bandicoot, many varieties of birds, a prettyyellow tree snake, tall grasses, and big shady trees.

It didn't feel like city living, but here in my little sanctuary, Iwas a mere thirty-minute ferry ride from the centre of Sydney. Iwas keen to bridge the divide and bring the Kingdoms togetheras one. It didn't take long before I knew that the next step on thisspiritual journey was to seek the wisdom and guidance of Nature.I knew the questions I wanted answered but little did I know wherethis new journey would take me, how exhausted I would becomebefore finding a true sense of freedom and peace.

Several years ago—well almost ten now—I set out on a pathof questioning: who am I really? Why am I here? How do I reachmy full potential and find my Divine Purpose? Is there a God andhow do I find him or her? Along with the old favourite: how do Ifind happiness? Shortly after I began my spiritual path, the placein which I was living, fell to pieces. It had to be rebuilt from theground up, and apparently so did I.

Time passed. I had done all the courses and classes I coulddo. I had meditated almost to death. When I had no idea who Iwas anymore or what I was even looking for, an Owl showed upon my white privacy board on the balcony, as the sun began to setbehind it. I heard this strange noise like a HOOB, HOOB, HOOB. Ithought it might have been my refrigerator, as it made odd noises.It turned out, the Owl had returned. He appeared several timesduring my ten years at that abode. On this occasion the Owl spoke.He said, "You have reached an ending of the old and a time of newbeginning. It is done. Look to the East now for rebirth."

The Owl is my totem animal for the West. He brings wisdomand clarity. The Western compass point, on my Shamanic MedicineWheel, represents death and rebirth. It was time to let go of the old,release the past and find something new. After Owl's appearanceI suddenly felt very tired, I had to lie down and sleep. It was thesame old dream I have had for many years. I am in a hall withdozens of students, sitting for an exam. I open the test paper andhave no idea how to answer any of the questions. Not only that, Idon't even know what the questions mean, what they are asking,or what language has been printed on the paper. I just don'tunderstand or even recognise the words or their meaning. I lookaround me but everyone else seems okay and I wonder, "What isgoing on with me?"

Soon after Owl's visit, all the work was finished on my home,after several years of trade people traipsing in and out and makinga mess. It was done. So I left.

Only a week earlier I had no idea where I would be living. Idecided it was time to leave and find a new abode. A week later Iwoke up and saw The Wall meandering down towards the water,bushland beyond it as far as the eye could see, and the rising sun.My totem animal for the East is a snake, so it didn't surprise meat all the day I saw a snake abseiling down the stone Wall. Snakesmean regeneration, shedding of the old skin, rebirth as well asancient wisdom. I knew I was on the right track. Well, as certain asI could be on this path of up and down, knowing everything oneminute then nothing the next, clarity and fogginess, this daily lifeof duality and polarity.

First to welcome me was a Magpie. Not the usual type ofMagpie because I looked it up on the Internet. I found a completelydifferent description from the bird looking at me on my railing.This bird was agile, smaller than a normal Magpie. It had smallbeady yellow eyes, a black pointy beak, thin black legs, blackleathery feet. Magpie was almost all black but for some whitefeathers under the tail, at the tip of the wing and the tip of thetail. This bird became my constant companion during the ensuingtwo years, my dear friend.

He would stand balanced on one leg, on the back of myoutdoor chair and look at me, for hours. I thought he was waitingfor food, so I would throw him some tasty morsels. He delighted incatching them mid-air, showing off his aeronautical and acrobaticskills. Very agile was he and quick. If I looked out my study window,he would see me from way off in the distance and charge over toa perfect landing on the railing. Then he would hop onto theback of the chair, bounce onto the table or over to another chair.Or he would land atop the divider and crouch down to see if Iwas approaching. He would swoop towards me as if intending tofly inside but stop short to avoid crashing into the screen door.Sometimes I would see him flying way up high. He is a great flyer,and I would notice his white markings under his wings and tail.

One morning, after many months of our daily routine ofjumping and dancing and bouncing about over food, I asked him,"Magpie, why do you stand on one leg and stare at me?"

To my surprise, he replied, "Why do you sit in your chair withyour eyes closed?"

"I'm meditating," I replied, indignantly. "What's yourexcuse?"

"Well," he elaborated, "I am practising balance."

I found his reply very interesting especially as we continuedour chat. He asked "and why do you wave your arms about duringyour meditation?"

I calmly disclosed, "I am doing my daily Reiki to bring throughbalance and harmony within me and all around my being."

Magpie stood steadfast on one leg, silent, strong, staring at mewith his small, beady, yellow eyes.

I had a strange feeling it was one of those, "the outside reflectsthe inside" moments. Was he mirroring me?

I inquired, "Shall I call you my Zen Master?"

He seemed quite pleased with that title. I continued, "so MrMagpie."

He flashed back with, "Master Zen if you don't mind."

"I thought Zen Masters let go of all ego." I stated.

"Who told you that?" He challenged.

"Anyway," I said, "you don't look like a normal Magpie. I lookedyou up on the Internet. Normal Magpies are larger. They havebigger, brown eyes. They are more upright, almost Gothic lookingbirds with white patches across their shoulders, (like Epaulettes),chest, wings and tails, as if they have been splashed with whitepaint. There are also two of these types of Magpies who visit daily.So what kind of bird might you be?"

"How should I know, Mantis?" He said matter-of-factly.

"I knew it!!! You have been watching my DVDs haven't you?"I had a feeling someone had been rummaging through mycollection. I wondered what mischief these birds got up to whenmy back was turned. On a couple of occasions I accidently left thescreen door open and the other 'real' Magpie walked right in, tohave a look around. One time a Lorikeet flew in thinking theremust be a tree of sunflower seeds growing in the lounge room,then panicked when there were no seeds to be found.

"I like the Panda," Magpie almost cooed, "and of course, theCrane."

"Are you trying to be like the Crane, is that why you stand onone leg?" I persisted.

"I like it. It's comfortable for the most part, although now andthen I need to stretch out my toes and my wings, then change legs."He replied, with a blink.

"I heard a loud kerfuffle last night and saw you chasing a bird.Did you kick your babies out of the nest?" I enquired, changingthe subject without a clean segue.

The Zen Master looked very Zen and wise and noble. Hesaid, "It was time. The young ones need to learn how to standon one leg on their own. They must learn to fly the nest, stretchtheir wings and make their own way. Otherwise they will neverknow their own strength and capabilities. Sometimes it is throughchallenge and adversity, we then find out who we really are. Notthe young of another Magpie, or the sibling, but a Magpie in one'sown right."

This had been a lesson I had learned during my own Spiritualjourney. After many years of classes and courses, learning andasking questions, there came a time when I knew I had to trustmyself. It was time to listen to my own inner guidance and findmy own way, my own truth, not someone else's. It wasn't easy.Especially the times when I felt I had been abandoned even bySpirit. Nobody was talking or saying anything, and nobody elseseemed to understand but somehow we keep going. It can be a verylonely path but I suppose it is a very personal experience. I knewMagpie's babies would be fine. After all I had been helping to feedthem too since birth. We were all One Family.

The next day Master Zen was standing on one leg looking atme from behind a pair of dark sunglasses, trying to look like areal Magpie.

I decided to ask him one of my questions so I quietly, carefullyand gently inquired, "Master Zen, how do you find peace?"

He blinked behind his sunglasses, paused, looked and stoodfirm on one leg then didn't answer. I wonder if they only speakwhen I have figured things out for myself.

I decided to throw a curve ball and inquired, "Why did yousteal my socks?"

He came right back with, "Who said I did?"

"I saw you! I must admit when the first one went missing Ithought it might have blown off the balcony in the wind. A fewdays later I saw you take off with the second one. The thing is, Inow have one pink and one purple sock, do you want to trade soI have a matching pair?" I asked.

"I can't do that, I lost one. It dropped out of my beak abouttwo miles along the beach," he confessed.

I knew this to be true because I stumbled upon it during oneof my walks, all dirty and wet in the sand. I thought it might beworth asking the question, "Do you happen to know anythingabout a Rhodochrosite crystal pendant? It went missing a whileago. Is it adorning Mrs Pie's neck?"

"I am not a common thief, I have you know. Native AmericanIndians have me as their Totem!" He rebuked quite tersely andseemed to be offended at the implication. "Where did you loseit?"

"I think the last time I saw it was in my planter box, on mybalcony garden a few years ago," I answered. I was not sure aboutthe Native American Indian totem animal comment.

"Well if you choose to put your crystals in the garden, it's a caseof finders keepers in my book. How would I know they aren't forgeneral collection? Why did you put it in the garden?"

"I like to place as many crystals as I can, under the Full Moonlight to recharge and bathe in the energy. I tend to place them onthe floor of my bedroom or on the windowsill at this place, just sothey don't grow legs and walk off," I replied.

"I haven't seen it," he answered, indignantly.

At least Magpie was in a better mood these days. From Augustto October he and Mrs Pie are very angry, feral birds. Irritable,they chased away all the neighbours and ran Kooky right out oftown.

At that moment a large, glossy, black Crow flew down throughthe middle of the buildings shouting, "Storm Coming! StormComing! Stormmmmm Approaching!!!!"

Introducing Bindi

A group of six Lorikeets had burst onto the railing, onealmost sliding right off again in a flash of red, yellow andgreen. Rainbow Lorikeets are beautiful and I love themdearly. They are funny, curious, cheeky, brave and very cleverbirds. My friend Short Beak, flew straight onto my head as hehas done for many years now, following me from place to place.At my last abode I immediately knew it was he. Apart from hislightly coloured orange feathers and his short beak, as soon as Iopened the window, he flew straight in and sat on my head. I wasso delighted he had found me. Before long, word was out on BirdNet and the whole gang had turned up, as they had here too onmy railings.

I love to watch these birds. They sit on my shoulder and myhand. They hop about and bounce and jump. They have redbeaks, red eyes, green wings and body, blue or purple featheredheads, and red, yellow and orange chests. When they fly they area flash of colour like a rainbow and they whistle and shout at thetop of their voices. And they are they biggest sticky beaks you willever find.

I will never forget watching the two birds over at the college,further down on the estate. They were jostling for pole positionup high in the Palm Tree, nudging each other further in front towatch the filming of "The Great Gatsby." They almost fell off theirperch in excitement. I must admit I too am a sticky beak because Iwas there watching the whole thing but mostly laughing at my twolittle friends and how big their eyes were watching all the action.

The film crew was directly beneath the Lorikeet palm tree.There were big lights, large industrial cranes, vintage cars, a hugefountain and lots of people all through the night. The birds hardlyslept. I'm sure they are hoping to see themselves starring in theBaz Luhrmann movie. I spoke to the location manager and he saidsome Sulphur Crested white Cockatoos screeched and screamedand flew through a few scenes but as this was meant to be NewYork, they would be edited out. I haven't had the heart to breakthe news to the Cockatoos. They have been proudly telling thewhole city about their acting prowess and newfound success onthe silver screen.

Bindi was shouting, "Storm! Storm!" So I asked her to calmdown or she would lose her voice, which she then did, with astrained squeak. Bindi has a pretty coloured feathered dot on herforehead, thus the name. Her friend is named Biggles, due to theblack rings around his eyes. He hopped over onto my hand. Thenthey all shouted in unison, "ANY SEEDS?"

Lorikeets love to eat berries, nectar and pollens from Nativetrees like Wattle, Banksia, Bottle Brush and Grevillea and anotherfavourite is the Palm Tree. But one of their most favourite treats ofall time, better than chocolate or ice-cream is to us, is Sunflowerseeds. They love them. So when they turn up I like to give thema few seeds as a little treat. The only problem is they tell all theirfriends and relatives so before long there are twenty-two Lorikeetssqueezed along two railings. That in itself is okay, it's just the messthey make on my balcony and below and to the side that becomesan issue.

Bindi was splashing about in the water dish, so then the otherswanted to do the same, just like children. They always seem to beso happy. Bindi asked, "What's your favourite animal?"

I replied, "I love all the birds, obviously, and all the animalsequally." When she asked if I have a favourite I said, "I particularlylike red pandas, elephants, tigers, white lions, squirrels, polarbears, Meer cats and Lemurs." By this time Bindi had lost interestand was hanging sideways from the chair. She flew onto the screendoor, hanging precariously from the mesh and asked, "What'syour favourite colour?"

I said, "I like all the colours of the rainbow but one of myfavourites is blue." From then on they all called me Miss Jay becausethey said I was their lucky Blue Jay. As an aside, Bindi whisperedshe knows a lion and tiger. Bindi often flies over to Taronga Zooto visit the animals. They are her friends. I mentioned quietly toher that I had also been there and to Mogo Zoo where I leaned upagainst the wire fence and fed a white lion (whose keeper is namedChalkie). I also fed the Giraffe, and played with Meer cats, Lemursand Servals when I was a keeper for a day. It was a wonderfulexperience and at the end of the day my hair smelt like a barn, Ihad blisters on my hands and I almost fell out of the rowboat intothe eel infested waters.

Then the Bullies arrived. These two believe both railings aretheirs and therefore they claim the right to all the seeds. They puffup their feathers, lower their heads and charge up and down therailings, shouting and pushing. Other birds just fly up and overand land behind them, nibbling seeds. One day I asked, "Why doyou do that? All that shouting and yelling and flapping about,knocks all the seeds off the railing. The other birds can just hopdown onto the balcony floor and eat them, or else the seeds goover the side and no-one benefits."

The bigger bird could see the flaw in his plan for seeddomination but he said, "You have to understand, there is apecking order and Mrs L and I are King Pins, Top Dogs so tospeak."

I wish he could understand that there was an abundance ofseeds for everyone, and an infinite number of packets they couldall enjoy. Alas, he seemed to have a limited mindset, stemmingfrom limiting beliefs. Or is he showing me something about myselfand humanity?

The Crow was still calling out about the storm, so I announcedto all the birds they could take shelter on the balcony if theyneeded. By 3pm the storm had arrived, black skies, thunder,lightning and a deluge of rain. As I looked out from my loungeroom, to the balcony, I could see sixteen Lorikeets standing onthe backs of chairs or on the railing or on the table, preening,grooming, sleeping or just resting.