Father Paul Rourke is a young priest in a small rural town. Well-respected and kind, serving others and his Lord is his calling. But Paul’s life is forever changed when he unexpectedly meets Jersey Blaine, a victim of domestic violence. As he counsels Jersey, his attraction to her is undeniable. Paul soon faces the realization that he is falling in love with a woman who he has promised to protect. As the young priest struggles to resist temptation, he suffers a tragic loss that leaves him weak and vulnerable. Father Paul finds himself in a position where he must make a choice between his Church and the woman he loves. The choice seems clear until he learns that Jersey may not be who she says she is.Deceived and betrayed Father Paul begins to question everything that he believes. When Paul learns that the local authorities want him for questioning, he knows that the time has come to pay for his sins. Accused of a crime that he did not commit, a tormented Paul loses his will to fight. Will his transgressions cost him his Church, his freedom or his life?

Fallen

By Margaret Lind

AuthorHouse

Copyright © 2010 Margaret Lind
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4520-3893-3

Chapter One

The sun was warm on the back of Father Paul's neck as he jogged down the dusty, gravel road towards the Rourke farm. The grass and weeds in the ditches on each side of the road were turning brown in the July heat. The corn in the field was tall and green but Paul noticed the leaves starting to curl from lack of moisture. The usually black topsoil looked hard and gray like concrete.

'It is going to be another hot day.' Father Paul Rourke thought to himself as he neared the driveway of the family farm. This summer had been blistering and with no rain, area farmers were struggling. The Midwest was facing the worse drought since 1988. The ponds were low and the creeks were drying up. The crops would yield only 20-30% of their normal average. Most farmers did not own irrigation systems in this part of the county, irrigation was rarely needed. The expense would be too great to try and implement now with the water shortage.

Paul had not lived at home for many years. He attended college in the '90's then on to seminary. He volunteered for mission work in Africa for two years and then was assigned to an inner city Catholic Church in Chicago for five years as Associate Priest and Youth leader. After working with helpless, poverty stricken children in Africa he had chosen the assignment in Chicago to try and give back to the children in the U.S. Working with the inner-city youth was both challenging and fulfilling.

As an only child, Paul felt a responsibility to his parents. Although both of his parents were in good health and neither looked their age, Paul felt that he should be closer if and when the time came that they needed his help. Two years ago the Associate Priest position became open at his home church, St. Xavier. Paul's request to move there was granted. Though, leaving Chicago had been difficult. Paul knew he was where he needed to be.

Paul's daily run usually led him to his parents' farm. Jim and Emily Rourke were still vibrant and independent in their late 60's, the farm sustained the Rourke family for over 70 years. Jim began farming with his own father right out of high school. He took over the farm in his early thirties when his father decided to retire. He and Paul's mother, Emily married late in life for their generation, not having Paul until they were both well into their thirties. Paul was adored by both of his parents growing up and worked side by side with his father when he wasn't in school or playing baseball.

Paul was worried about his father. At 67, Jim still farmed their 600 acres entirely on his own. He would hire some help during the spring and fall for planting and harvest but mostly he enjoyed working alone. A very proud man, Jim was having a hard time admitting that he was slowing down and needed some help at times.

As Paul turned off of the road and jogged down the quarter mile lane, he could see his father out in the shed working on one of the John Deere tractors.

"Looks like I'm too late for coffee this morning." he chuckled to himself. Jim waved as Paul was approaching the shed. Paul stopped and stretched and wiped the sweat from his face with the bottom of his t-shirt. His dark hair was damp and curling around his ears and down his neck. Even at 33, Paul's 6'2" frame was still in great shape, all the years of baseball in high school and college had kept him lean and strong. Even though Father Paul was well-loved by the parishioners at St. Xavier's Catholic Church, many women in town thought it was a shame that he was a priest. But Paul had felt a calling to the Church for most of his life. Admittedly, there were moments of doubt throughout Paul's life but in his heart he knew he was where he was meant to be. Jim and Emily Rourke were very proud that their son had moved home to serve the church where Paul was christened as an infant.

Paul walked the rest of the way to the shed, "Hey Dad, what's up for today?"

"Well, it looks like I am going to have to run to town for some parts. I thought that I would be able to fix this tractor and get going this morning but nothing is going right." Jim replied, frustrated wiping the grease from his hands on his jeans. Not quite as tall as Paul, Jim was an older version of his handsome son. Despite a little fullness through the middle from Emily's cooking over the years, Jim still looked a decade younger than his 67 years.

"Do you want a ride back into town? I imagine you need to get back to work saving our poor souls." Jim teased Paul.

"That would be great," Paul replied. "Just let me go in and say hello to Mom."

"She didn't bake this morning, you know, so why bother? I'm in a hurry." Jim liked to give his son a hard time about coming out to check on them every morning. His half-hearted attempt to sound gruff was belied by the twinkle in his eye.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're always in a hurry-you need to slow down, Dad. Relax." Paul called over his shoulder as he jogged towards the house quickly before his father could retort. Nothing irritated Jim Rourke more than telling him to relax. There was always more work to do, being idle made Jim irritable and nobody wanted that, Jim chuckled to himself.

Paul trotted up the steps of the wide front porch. He could see his mother at the sink through the kitchen window. Paul's mother, Emily worked tirelessly over the years to make their home warm and loving. The massive front porch was her pride and joy. The house faced to the west with the porch wrapping around to the south side. Emily was passionate about flowers and anything green. The front porch was a sea of potted geraniums, impatiens and green vines that Paul could never name. She had a gift for making things grow. Even the spindliest flower would bask under her gentle care.

Emily's compassion extended to all living things. Growing up on the farm, there had never been an animal that Emily couldn't or wouldn't care for. She tenderly nursed robins, baby raccoons and the smallest runt piglets back to health. Neighbors constantly dropped off kittens because everyone knew that Emily would take good care of them. Jim only intervened when she found an orphaned baby skunk whose mother had been hit by a car. She quickly found a home for the baby skunk with the Department of Conservation.

"Hey Mom," Paul called as the kitchen door banged behind him. Paul's mother cocked her head expectantly for Paul's kiss on the cheek as she washed the morning dishes. Paul greeted his mother the same way almost everyday since he had moved back.

"Do you suppose Dad will ever breakdown and buy you a dishwasher?" Paul teased.

"Of course not," his mother Emily replied. "He's too cheap." She laughed. "Besides with the two of us it would take us a week to fill it and I like to watch the birds outside the window while I wash the dishes. It is one of my few moments of peace with the two of you around." Emily turned towards Paul as she dried her hands on a green and white checkered dishtowel.

She was dressed in blue jean Bermuda shorts and a Chicago WhiteSox T-shirt. As a WhiteSox fan, she and Jim joked that they had a mixed marriage since he was die-hard Chicago Cubs fan. Emily was dwarfed by Paul as he leaned against the counter while she put the dishes away. Though small in size, Emily exuded a quiet strength. A deep faith in God and an intense love for her family had shaped her into a woman with strong convictions. Emily Rourke did not like politics or controversy but she stood up for what she believed in and when Emily Rourke spoke, people listened, including Paul.

"So what is on your agenda for the day?" Paul asked. "I'm going to ride into town with Dad. He needs parts for the tractor. Do you want to ride along?"

"Heavens, no." Paul's mother laughed. "Somehow I volunteered to make ALL of the pies for the church picnic coming up. Do you know how that happened?" She asked smiling. "I'm going to have to start now and freeze them to bake later. There is no way I can make them all the day before the picnic."

Paul shifted uncomfortably from his left foot to his right. "Well, I uh might have mentioned something to Mrs. Simms that you wouldn't mind ..."

"I thought so," Emily chuckled. "Anyway, I have about 15 pies to make so you and your father can just run along and have a good time."

"All right. Do you want me to see if Rachael wants to come out and help you?"

"I'm fine really, I was just kidding. If you don't have enough work for her then she can come out to visit if she likes but I won't put her to work." Emily had a fondness for Father Paul's secretary at St. Xavier's. Rachael and her mother were in a serious car accident when a semi truck and trailer pulled out in front of their car. Rachael was only three years old at the time. Rachael's mother was killed instantly but miraculously Rachael survived.

Tom Russell was a good father. Early on he mastered the art of French braiding Rachael's long brown hair as a child. But raising a daughter alone, was difficult and as much as Tom loved Rachael he knew there were times when she needed a woman's touch. These were the moments when he would turn to Emily Rourke for support and guidance. Jim Rourke and Tom Russell had been friends for more than 20 years. With no daughters of her own Emily was happy to oblige. She and Rachael adopted each other and developed a very special bond. Paul was happy for his mother. He knew how much she enjoyed Rachael's companionship. However, he had to admit that he was sometimes envious of their relationship.

Jim and Emily's original plan included a large family to fill the farmhouse but two miscarriages and then complications during Paul's birth left Emily unable to bear more children. They discussed adoption over the years or fostering children but between raising Paul and the farm they always seemed to have their hands full. When Rachael came into their lives they felt their family was complete. They doted on Rachael and Paul as if they were sister and brother. Since Paul and Rachael were virtually siblings, he gained a sister and Rachael a brother. Sibling rivalry and arguments ensued over the years but were always grudgingly forgiven with Emily's guidance. Amusing stories were often told at family dinners about Rachael and Paul's battles growing up. Luckily, as true siblings do, Rachael and Paul had matured and become close friends.

For years Emily secretly wished that Paul and Rachael would end up together one day. But Paul's decision to become a priest put an end to any matchmaking schemes Emily might have devised. Now Emily just hoped Rachael would find someone like Paul. Though much to Emily's chagrin, Rachael didn't seem to be looking very hard.

Paul waved goodbye to his mother as he jumped into his father's midnight blue Chevy pickup. His father headed east on the blacktop road towards Princeton, the county seat. Though the largest town in the area, it was still considered small to the rest of the world with a population of only 8,000.

The Rourke farm was 5 miles south west of Princeton. This area of Illinois was a myriad of small towns. Most of the communities within a 15 mile radius of Princeton reported populations of less than 1,500. The Rourkes would have to drive at least 60 miles to reach any city with more than 50,000 people and more than two hours each way if they wanted to enjoy the sights and sounds of Chicago.

Having farmed here his entire life, Jim was well-known in many circles. Despite their ever changing world, this was still small town America. Especially the farmers, they looked out for their neighbors when times were tough.

Driving into Princeton, Paul reflected on how things had changed since his high school days. After Jim dropped off Paul he would drive through the north end of town where he would pass the large Walmart, Sullivan's grocery store, second hand clothing store, Lay's Home Furnishings and Tractor Supply Store before crossing the bridge over Interstate 80. The John Deere dealership where Jim Rourke was headed was just north of the Interstate. If a person ventured south into town from the Interstate there were several antique and novelty shops as well as Ace hardware. The candy store, movie theatre and clothing boutiques housed shops near the south end by the Courthouse and Soldiers and Sailors Memorial Park.

Princeton was a very historic town. The Owen Lovejoy Homestead where escaped slaves would hideout as they traveled the Underground Railroad in the 1800's drew tourists and historians as well as the Red Covered bridge just outside of town over Bureau Creek. The Homestead Festival and Bureau County Fair were annual attractions for everyone in the area. And in the fall, Civil War battle reenactments were held at the City/County Park, exciting dramas that drew large crowds. Community plays were also performed during the summer months so that local actors could display their talents.

Residential streets were lined with old homes that had been refurbished to their original beauty with massive front yards and large oak and maple trees. Down a few streets, a person could travel the original brick roads that were laid over one hundred years ago.

'Times change, I guess.' Paul thought as they passed the bank that used to be the Hardees where he and his friends would hangout in high school. 'Change is good.' He often had to remind himself of that.

As a Catholic priest Paul saw how the changing times often brought more and more controversy and conflict into the Church. Progress challenges the Church's beliefs as well as his own. His superior, Father Gerald and he discussed many times the temptations and challenges that young people face earlier and earlier in their lives. Things were simpler when Father Gerald was a child. At 70, Gerald was ready to retire and let his young associate take over intentionally delaying his retirement until he felt that Father Paul was ready. Paul was aware that Father Gerald had already begun the discussions with the Diocese and the wheels were in motion. The position would be Paul's if he wanted it. Which Paul did but only on Father Gerald's timetable.

"Hey are you awake over there?" Paul's father jabbed Paul lightly in the shoulder bringing Paul back to the present. "Do you want to run down to the dealership with me or do you want me to drop you off at your house?"

"You had better drop me off at my house, it is getting late. I have an appointment at St. Xavier's at 10:00." Paul stated blandly. He tried hard not to let his father sense his nervousness. Paul's request to be assigned to St. Xavier's was granted due to the recommendation of Father Michael from his church in Chicago and to his master's degree in psychology. With Father Gerald's impending retirement, someone would have to take over counseling the 'troubled souls' as Father Gerald referred to those that he counseled. Father Paul was slowly taking over the caseload and a woman coming today was not a member of their parish but specifically asked to see Father Paul. A friend recommended Paul to her, she told Rachael on the telephone when scheduling the appointment. This was his first case that had not been handed down from Father Gerald.

Paul's calling to the Church was compelling throughout most of his life. His parents' strong Christian beliefs allowed him to grow up with a deep faith in the Lord and a desire to serve others. Double majoring in psychology and religious studies was a good fit for Paul when he attended the University of Illinois. After his undergraduate work, he obtained his master's degree in psychology before going to Seminary. He felt his passion about the human mind coupled with his desire to help people would make him a better priest.

Despite the love and support from his parents Paul had moments in his life where he struggled with his decision to enter the priesthood. During his teenage years, the obligation he felt to follow in his father's footsteps and takeover the family farm weighed on him. It was uncertain what would happen to the Rourke farm when Jim and Emily were gone. The guilt Paul carried with him almost convinced him to turn his back on his calling.

When Paul went off to college, Jim Rourke was adamant that Paul needed to follow his heart. The Rourkes were faithful Christians and Jim believed that God had a different plan for Paul. Jim had the final word one night after supper when Paul was home from college for the weekend. A heated discussion evolved when Paul mentioned that he was going to change his major to agribusiness so that he could eventually farm with his father. Jim Rourke firmly refused Paul's suggestion. Angrily, Jim demanded,

"If you come home, marry and have a family, this farm does not bring in enough revenue to support two families and I'm not ready to retire. I never had a choice when I was your age, you do. Don't change your plans because you think you are needed here. When the time comes that I can't farm any longer, the good Lord will help us figure out what to do. Until then, you do His work and I'll do mine. I will not discuss it again." Jim had stormed out of the house leaving Paul and his mother speechless. The subject was closed. Though usually open-minded, Jim Rourke was also stubborn with an Irish temper. Paul's father had made up his mind, thus easing the burden on Paul.

(Continues...)

Excerpted from Fallenby Margaret Lind Copyright © 2010 by Margaret Lind. Excerpted by permission.
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