My First Encounter with Violence

When I was in the sixth grade, I was attacked by a neighborhood teenager, an incident that made an unforgettable impact on my life.

It was a mild, sunny day in my hometown of Chicago, and I was walking home from school thinking about having a snack and hanging out with my friends. I stopped at a street corner and waited for the traffic light to turn green. All of a sudden I heard a loud voice behind me, yelling, "Hey!" I turned my head just as a hard object smashed into my right eye. The impact was so strong it almost knocked me over.

The lens of my thick glasses shattered, and I cried out in pain as the pointed shards of glass lacerated my eyelid and dug into my face. A rock! Who threw a rock? Once again the same voice yelled loudly from down the street, and I remembered the big kid from another school who had once shouted insults about my religion. Now here he was again, spewing more religious slurs at me. He shouted, "You have no right to breathe the same air as I do. Your kind would be better off dead!" He threw another rock, and I turned away quickly as it grazed my shoulder. Just then another boy called out to him, and he hopped on his bike and rode away.

For a while I stood very still, and everything became very quiet around me. A couple of people walked by, but they did not look at me or appear to have witnessed what had just happened. For the first time in my life I felt completely alone and very, very ashamed. I thought, What terrible thing have I done for someone to treat me this way?

Blood trickled down my cheek, and I reached for the handkerchief in my pocket. Carefully I removed what was left of my glasses and gently held the folded cotton cloth to my face while I walked the rest of the way home. When I entered the house and my mother saw me holding a blood-soaked handkerchief over my eye she held back a scream, grabbed her purse, and took me to the nearest hospital.

Shortly after we arrived at the emergency room, a doctor injected me with an anesthetic for the pain and with a tiny instrument deftly extracted bits of glass from around my eye and cheek. After a thorough examination, he told us that I would suffer no permanent damage, and he prescribed antibiotics, topical medication, and two weeks of bed rest.

That evening my parents and grandparents engaged in a long and heated discussion. Of course they were deeply distressed that I had been bullied and assaulted, but mostly they were terrified of responding in a way that would inadvertently cause more harm. This was not their first encounter with religious discrimination, and they knew how quickly these situations could get out of hand. They feared that if they tried to confront the boy's family or chose to involve the police, something even worse might happen to me. The discussion wore on for several hours, until my parents and grandparents finally shook their heads and sadly concluded, "There's nothing we can do. We don't want to make more trouble."

My grandparents held me close and made me promise to always walk to and from school with a group of friends, never by myself. Then they sat with me for a long time without speaking. I could sense their profound disappointment and regret as they accepted the harsh reality that bigotry and intolerance would be a part of my life, just as it had been for them and those who went before them. Finally, they hugged me again, and with tears in their eyes told me how much they loved me and that none of this was my fault.

As I got ready for bed that evening, a deeply disturbing feeling came over me. My world was no longer safe, and I knew for certain that although this was my first real experience with bullying and violence it would not be my last.

Process and Discovery

For the next two weeks, as I lay recuperating on our living-room sofa, my mind was full of questions. I thought, That kid doesn't even know me — whats his problem with my religion? What's so wrong with people worshipping in different ways?

Certainly I was aware of the dangers of religious persecution. I had read history books that told of horrible abuses inflicted upon various segments of humanity in the name of God. I suppose I just assumed that many of those issues no longer existed. I thought that people were learning to accept one another in spite of their religious differences, just as we were taught to do in school. I was shocked that this kind of prejudice was still going on, especially among children.

My mind continued to question: What is God? Where is God? Why are there different religions in the world? Which religion is the right one? Is there a way to find out what God really wants from us?

At one point I imagined the most unusual scenario of all: Is it possible that God is playing a game with us, and everyone who goes to the wrong church will be punished for all eternity?

Although the idea of a vindictive God was frightening at first, I soon began to see the humor in it. I started smiling and then began laughing so hard that my eye started throbbing and I had to settle down. The thought of an all-powerful and loving God plotting to frustrate humanity by inventing an endless game of hide-and-seek was too outlandish for me to consider seriously. My outburst of laughter had been a necessary release of tension, but now I had to think this through and figure out what really made sense to me.

After a long time, my head cleared, and the following ideas began to take form and shape in my mind:

• If there is a God, it would have to be a supreme being, greater than anything that exists.

• For this being to be truly supreme, it would need to be the one creator of all life, encompassing the highest qualities we could ever imagine, such as unconditional love, pure wisdom, and omnipresence.

• As unconditional love, this being would cherish all creation and have compassion for all life.

• As pure wisdom, this being would create a variety of ethnicities, identities, and lifestyles, so that we could discover the rich diversity within unity.

• As omnipresent spirit, this being would exist in the soul of all life so that wherever we looked we would see the face of God.

Eventually I came to this conclusion:

• In order for God to be God, this supreme being must be the God of all.

I am not suggesting that these ideas came to me fully formed, but despite my young age I understood enough to provide myself with considerable comfort and a solid foundation from which I would later develop my personal philosophy. From that time on, I have never doubted the inclusive nature of Spirit.

As a student and teacher of world religions, I believe that God dwells in each soul, communicates in every language, celebrates all cultures, and loves all life equally. I also believe, as many sages have concluded, that all paths lead to God.

A Light in the Darkness

I chose to write about my first encounter with prejudice without emphasizing my religion of birth, because my story is by no means unique. The targeting and abuse of people because of the way they worship is a global dilemma that has plagued humanity for thousands of years.

My own experiences with prejudice and discrimination dominated my life for a long time. There were many occasions when I felt humiliated and demeaned by the words and actions of those who believed I was inferior and somehow evil.

In spite of everything, however, my repeated encounters with intolerance eventually served as a catalyst through which I became a stronger person. As time went on, I learned to stop thinking of myself as a victim and found ways to accept a newfound sense of personal dignity. With the help of wise teachers and counselors, I saw that it was not only possible for me to practice forgiveness but necessary that I do so in order to finally free myself from the anger and shame of the past.

During those years I also prayed fervently that one day I would find a way to help others embrace diversity and honor the presence of God in all people.

Searching for Truth

hen I grew older, I traveled the world and became familiar with many cultures. I was fascinated by their religious practices and eventually majored in world religions in graduate school. While I enjoyed observing the unique ceremonies and rituals of the various sects, I was particularly interested in learning the similarities and differences among theologies.

After years of studying the holy books of a number of religious traditions, I concluded that the majority of the world's great religions were founded by those who possessed profound insights into the nature of humanity and were able to address the deepest needs of the human soul. They were master teachers, who taught by examples and parables designed to expand the intellect, touch the heart, and inspire hope for the future. Moreover, these leaders taught that it was possible for their followers to develop an inner connection with their deities that would provide a source of comfort for them in times of both joy and despair.

As I studied the various sacred scriptures, I found the following teachings common to all faiths:

• Charity: The act of providing for those less fortunate, benevolent giving, sharing freely of ourselves where it is needed

• Compassion: Loving our neighbors, living by the golden rule, sacrificing our needs for the well-being of others, reaching out in love

• Forgiveness: Letting go of grudges, making amends with those whom we have harmed or who have harmed us, shifting our thoughts from vengefulness to benevolence

• Humility: Modesty, graciousness, unpretentiousness, the absence of superiority

• Praise: Acts of gratitude, appreciation, thanksgiving, prayer, celebration

• Peace: The absence of war, nonviolence, living in harmony with others, inner contentment

• Wisdom: Understanding, insight, knowledge, discernment, justice

Also common to most theologies is the belief that people are capable of finding fulfillment through specific sacred disciplines, such as prayer, meditation, fasting, chanting, and other forms of devotion unique to their traditions.

There is another side to religion, however, that often seems to overshadow the timeless truths revealed by enlightened masters. Along with guidelines for living an ethical life and heartfelt verses flowing with gratitude and love, these same scriptures also contain historical accounts of violent wars, brutal torture, and mass murders — all seemingly sanctioned by God. The basis for these acts of violence are founded in the following theological concepts:

• Exclusivity: The belief that only one religion can be true, resulting in the divine command to exclude and destroy all enemies that practice false religions

• The Angry Deity: The idea that God is vengeful and punishes human imperfection. The belief that if one person transgresses the law the entire community must pay for the crime

• Antagonistic Forces: The belief that the world is divided by the forces of good and evil and that evil must be destroyed, thereby providing a moral justification for killing

These themes have become a breeding ground of violence for centuries, giving followers of different faiths permission to annihilate one another in an effort to follow God's will.

Of course, these scriptures were written hundreds of years ago. They speak to a time when verbal communication among nations was virtually nonexistent and various ethnic groups were constantly threatened with genocide. As I write these words, I realize that not much has changed over the years.

I am not suggesting that religion is the cause of violence. History shows that until modern times religion was intrinsically bonded with both politics and culture, making it difficult to know where one began and the other ended. Nevertheless, the threat of violence still hangs over our heads, and religion too often continues to divide rather than unite us.

This is why it is more important than ever to become familiar with the eternal wisdom that is present in all great religions. In this way we will see that, despite humanity's considerable differences, we are inextricably linked to one another through our deepest and most enduring mutual values, which are founded in love.

I have focused on violence among religions thus far, not only because it has been such an important part of my personal growth but because racial, cultural, and religious tensions make up such a large part of the terrorism that is running rampant in our world today. The catastrophic effects of prejudice and intolerance can be seen and felt on a daily basis.

What Does Our Future Hold?

How long do we expect to go on this way? Is it possible for humanity to exist indefinitely in a world overrun with wars, intolerance, and terrorism? Will our civilization that is steeped in centuries of violence eventually learn how to interact with others in more respectful and compassionate ways? We are running out of time, and unless we work at creating a new paradigm for living and find new ways to coexist, we will literally force ourselves into extinction. Can we make this enormous shift? Are we humans capable of actually lifting our consciousness from a culture of violence to a culture of peace?

Before we become overwhelmed by a sense of hopelessness, let us pause to consider the amazing ingenuity and inner resolve of the human spirit to accomplish things that have appeared to be impossible. From the great pyramids to walking on the moon to finding cures for diseases using advanced technology, humanity has proven, time and again, to possess an unwavering tenacity and a potential for greatness that goes beyond anything we could possibly imagine. No matter how hopeless the circumstances might seem, humanity has always prevailed and risen above adversity.

Yes, I believe the human race can and will make the necessary choices to create a safer, more compassionate world for our future generations. The blueprints for success exist in every soul and are written in every scripture. They have been voiced by great visionaries whose lives and teachings are powerful examples of how high humanity can soar when we choose to value the best in ourselves and others. One of the greatest of these visionaries is the legendary Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi (1869–1948), who was given the title of Mahatma, which means "Great Soul."

Mahatma Gandhi gifted the world with a timeless philosophy of nonviolence and in 1947 helped bring India to its independence, an achievement that was widely assumed to be impossible. Gandhi inspired other great teachers, such as Martin Luther King Jr., Nelson Mandela, and the Dalai Lama. Today, Gandhi's legacy lives on in the work of his grandson Arun Gandhi whose lectures and writings have helped keep the Gandhi vision alive and whose words have inspired me to put these ideas on paper.

Without a doubt, these are very challenging times, and there is a great deal of unrest in the world. People are being tortured and killed on a daily basis, and we are bombarded with conflicting points of view by political experts from one end of the spectrum to the other. There is cruelty and violence all around us. We are frightened for the future and helpless because we don't know how to make a difference in the world. It is time now to see that our only alternative lies in making a difference within ourselves.

When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants and murderers and for a time they can seem invincible, but in the end they always fall. Think of it ... always.

Gandhi

One Person at a Time

A run Gandhi lectured at the Alex and Faye Spanos Theatre in San Luis Obispo, California in June of 2012 and his words made a life-altering impact on both me and my son, Matthew. As the fifth grandson of Mahatma Gandhi, Arun has devoted his life to sharing his grandfather's philosophy of nonviolence through his work as a writer, lecturer, teacher, and humanitarian.

I first became aware of Arun's work in 1998, when I did a phone interview with him for my radio program called Positive Living. He and his wife, Sunanda, had just written a fascinating biography of Arun's grandmother, called The Forgotten Woman, and he took time to discuss the book with me. I was deeply impressed with his presentation and wanted to learn more about the Gandhi teachings.

Later that year I invited Arun to come to Unity of San Luis Obispo, where I have served as minister since 1994, to facilitate a seminar for our community. The weekend was a great success, and Arun's insights touched the lives of all who attended.

In the years following Arun's appearance at Unity, I often shared his teaching stories with our congregation and hoped that when the time was right he would one day speak again in San Luis Obispo. That time came in June of 2012, when my wonderful son, Matthew, was two months short of his sixteenth birthday.