Easyish: Keys To A (Relatively) Easy Relationship

Who is this book for? Answer: EVERYONE! Married, partnered, single. EVERYONE.

We know that most people could use better skills in relationships, but it is also crucial that you get clear on who you are and what's important to you so you can partner well (if eventually partnering is your intention). Being single is an extremely important stage of healthy adulthood, because you actually have the time and space to explore yourself. It is important that you clarify your own wants and needs. Unfortunately, not everyone has taken the time to do that.

Regardless of whether you're partnered or not, the entire first section is about YOU. It's basically years of therapy work crammed into 18 "lessons" with reflection questions at the end of each. Questions like: Who are you, what do you believe, what do you want, how do you communicate, what are the issues that you bring with you to any relationship?

This book is for people in new relationships as well as long-established ones. It is imperative that you learn to assess in real time whether a relationship is worth what it costs, and to be able to measure what you're gaining and losing by staying in it. It is important to consider whether you and another person are a good fit in the ways that are meaningful to you.

The second section is about being in relationship with other people, and the idea that every relationship is new and different and can be whatever you want it to be. But first you have to know how to communicate, how to apologize, how to forgive and offer grace. It is necessary to your long-term wellness that you know how to do conflict in a way that is productive and emotionally nonviolent. It's also necessary to have healthy boundaries, but be willing to allow your partner to influence you in positive ways.

This book is for married people, both the happily and the unhappily married. In all cases, you have years of sh*t built up that you probably haven't fully resolved. Maybe you have learned to "live with" some issues in your marriage that you have always wished could change or get better, but you don't know where to start. Maybe you have always wondered if you should get counseling, but you haven't done it yet. This is for you. If you're happily married, you can always be more happy and more skilled. If you're unhappily married, why? What are you doing here? What keeps you from moving on if you don't want to be in this relationship?

The third and notably shortest section of the book is about Marriage. It's helpful to consider what it does and doesn't mean, what it can and can't realistically do in your life. Marriage is not a ball and chain nor an obligation. Marriage is a series of agreements you make with another person that you live out each day with intention. It is a contract, the terms of which can and should be renegotiated as needed.

THIS BOOK IS FOR EVERYONE. It calls for you to be a better and healthier version of yourself, to be authentic and intentional in your communication, and to align yourself with who you truly are. It asks you to be more compassionate and forgiving in your relationships, and to develop skills that will make everything just a little bit easier. Not easy, but easyish.

Clinical social worker Amy L. Miller leads you on a journey of self-discovery and skill-building that will surprise and challenge you. Her approach is warm, inviting, nonjudgmental, and inclusive. It's like having a leisurely coffee date with a therapist friend, and better yet: you get to go way over the standard 50 minute session time.