the essential five

Thomas Nelson

Contents

Acknowledgments.........................................................................................................xiIntroduction............................................................................................................xiiiPart One Social Butterfly: Relationship Essentials1. Questions to Ask on a First Date (and Some You Shouldn't)............................................................22. Ways to Reconnect with Your BFF, Your Archnemesis, or the Cute Guy You Had a Crush on in Algebra.....................43. Secret Strategies for a Great Relationship with Your Mom.............................................................64. Questions You Could Ask a Complete Stranger..........................................................................85. New Family Traditions You Should Start This Year!....................................................................106. Questions You May Not Want to Ask-but Need to-Before You Say, "I Do."................................................127. Battle Strategies for Taking On Nosy People..........................................................................148. Things to Say or Do When a Homeless Person Asks You for Money........................................................169. Possible Reactions to Encountering Bratty Kids in Public.............................................................1810. Ways to Heal a Broken Heart.........................................................................................2011. Ways to Answer Annoying Questions-and How to Ask Some of Them!......................................................2212. Things You'll Never Understand About Men ... So Why Even Try?.......................................................2413. Ways to Let Your Parents Know How Much They Mean to You.............................................................2614. Ways to Make a Man Fall in Love with You (for the First Time or the Millionth)......................................2815. Romantic Ideas for a Valentine's Day You Won't Forget-and Neither Will He!..........................................3016. Ways to Make Sure You Don't Ruin a First Date.......................................................................3217. Friends You Really Need to Have in Your Life........................................................................3418. Ways to Win a Fight.................................................................................................3619. Ways to Let Them Know How You Feel..................................................................................3820. Fun Christmas Gift Ideas for Those People You Hate to Shop For......................................................4021. Ways to Dump Your No-Good, Very-Bad Boyfriend.......................................................................4222. Ways to Keep the Romance Hot........................................................................................4423. Things You Need to Say to Your Boss.................................................................................4624. Ways to Find a Boyfriend for Your Best Friend.......................................................................48Part Two Classy and Fabulous: Lifestyle Essentials25. Strategies for Surviving Awkward Business Functions.................................................................5226. Prayers to Inspire Your Soul........................................................................................5427. Ways to Keep a Modicum of Privacy While Working in a Cubicle........................................................5628. Childlike Qualities You Should Never Lose...........................................................................5829. Spas Worth Traveling Around the World For...........................................................................6030. Tips for Tipping a Waiter So He Won't Spit in Your Food.............................................................6231. Things to Do When Everyone Is Telling You, "You Need to Get a Life!"................................................6432. Things You Need to Know About Your Money............................................................................6633. Ways to Avoid Being a Lout on Your Cell Phone.......................................................................6834. Tips for Taking a Truly Memorable Vacation..........................................................................7035. Ways to Pick a Book You're Sure to Love.............................................................................7236. Web Secrets for When You Want to Travel on the Cheap................................................................7437. Surefire Tactics for Getting a Great Flea Market Deal...............................................................7638. Ways to Keep Your Perspective When All Hell Breaks Loose............................................................7839. Rules You Should Definitely Break...................................................................................8040. Awesome International Destinations..................................................................................8241. Ways to Manipulate Others-Without Getting Caught!...................................................................8442. Unusual Ideas for a Much-Needed Night with the Girls................................................................8643. Tips for Tackling Stressful Situations..............................................................................8844. Ways to Give Back-or What to Do When the TV Ads with Starving Children Start Getting to You.........................9045. Things to Remember When You Want to Bow Out Gracefully..............................................................9246. Body Language Signals You Don't Want to Send (or Maybe You Do!).....................................................9447. Questions to Ask Before You Get That Credit Card....................................................................9648. Experiences Worth Having............................................................................................98Part Three Domestic Goddess: Home Essentials49. Ways to Make Your House Look Clean ... Fast.........................................................................10250. Secrets for Throwing a Killer Birthday Party........................................................................10451. How to Be the Perfect Hostess-or at Least Look Like One!............................................................10652. Things You Need to Know about Your Neighbors ... So You Don't Have to Spy on Them...................................10853. Recipes You Need to Memorize to Impress Your Friends and Family.....................................................11054. Things You Should Drop Like a Bad Habit.............................................................................11255. Things to Look for When Renting an Apartment........................................................................11456. Fun and Creative Shower Ideas-for Weddings and Babies, not Personal Hygiene!........................................11657. Things You Need to Keep in Your Fridge..............................................................................11858. Questions to Ask Your Prospective Pet-sitter........................................................................12059. Things You Need to Know Before You Buy a House......................................................................12260. Things to Do When You Desperately Need to Organize Your Closets.....................................................12461. Decorating Tips for Your Small-Uh, Tiny-Apartment...................................................................12662. Basics of a Beautiful Garden........................................................................................12863. Ways to Make Your Home Feel Martha Stewart-Stylish..................................................................13064. Ways to Fake It as a Domestic Goddess...............................................................................132Part Four Fetching and Fit: Body Essentials65. Vitamins You Should Be Eating.......................................................................................13666. Signs You Might Need to Find Yourself a Therapist...................................................................13867. Quick Beauty Secrets................................................................................................14068. Best Ways to Become Healthier.......................................................................................14269. Things You Can Do to De-Stress......................................................................................14470. Secrets for Eating Out When You're on a Diet........................................................................14671. Elements of a Truly Relaxing At-Home Spa Night......................................................................14872. The Healthiest Foods You Can Eat....................................................................................15073. Questions to Ask Yourself Before Starting a Diet....................................................................15274. Tips for Getting Through Nine Months of Pregnancy Without Going Crazy...............................................15475. Ways to Fight Colds and the Flu.....................................................................................15676. Exercises You Can Do in Five Minutes................................................................................15877. Ways to Stay Motivated at the Gym...................................................................................160Part Five Does It All: All the Other Essentials78. Games Every Woman Should Know How to Play...........................................................................16479. Words You Should Say if You Want to Sound Smart.....................................................................16680. Annual Appointments to Make-and Keep!...............................................................................16881. Things You Need to Know So You Don't Get Hosed by a Mechanic........................................................17082. Ways to Stay In-the-Know............................................................................................17283. Ways to Get Rid of Pests (from Cockroaches to Your Mother-in-Law)...................................................17484. Things to Do When You're So Mad, You Can't See Straight.............................................................17685. Things You Should Fake..............................................................................................17886. Ways You Can Save the World.........................................................................................18087. Steps of CPR........................................................................................................18288. Tips for a Successful Career........................................................................................18489. Things You Need to Know about Sports to Be One of the Boys..........................................................18690. Things You Should Always Have in Your Car...........................................................................18891. Ways to Spend Less at the Grocery...................................................................................19092. Tips for Giving a Seal-the-Deal Presentation........................................................................19293. Legal Documents You Should Have ... Just in Case....................................................................19494. Ways to Be Prepared for an Emergency-or How to Think Like Dwight Schrute............................................19695. Things to Be Sure to Pack in Your Carry-on Bag......................................................................19896. Questions to Ask Before You Take the Job............................................................................20097. E-mail Etiquette Blunders to Avoid..................................................................................20298. Ways to Say, "I'm Sorry."...........................................................................................20499. Things You Need to Know to Defend Yourself from an Attacker.........................................................206Notes...................................................................................................................208

Chapter One

First date jitters. It's that same nervous feeling you had prepping for final exams-If I screw this up, my life is over. I have no chance ever again at finding true love. I will die an old maid surrounded by dozens of cats. However, we all know that's not really the case, don't we? Look at the first date as an interview-and you're the one doing the hiring. Does he inspire you, enhance you, entertain you, thrill you? Here are some good topics to get started.

Are you married? While you may not want to phrase it exactly that way, it's crucial to find out about his background. Is he on the rebound? Is his best friend a total jerk? Is he devoutly something other than you are, or does he belong to a group you're opposed to? Does he have a criminal record? Some of these details can be nailed down by googling him; some will need to be asked (in subtle ways, of course). You can start the conversation in a nonthreatening way by volunteering info about yourself to get him talking: When my ex-husband and my dad, who's currently incarcerated, by the way, once came to pick me up from protesting with PETA ...

Come here often? Everyone likes to laugh-everyone needs to laugh, in fact. Sven Svebak, a Norwegian researcher, has shown that having a sense of humor can prolong your life! So show him your funny side. Use a cheesy pickup line if that's your style. Tell a story about something goofy that happened to you. Or if you prefer, tell a straight-out joke. You'll either end up laughing hysterically or bored to tears. And really, either one is a good result-you'll know if you're meshing or not.

How much money do you make? Imagine being that forward on a first date! And wouldn't it be nice info to have? But while you can't ask him to hand over his most recent pay stub, you can find out if you have similar financial dreams and goals for your life. Are you expecting to live the high life-Upper East Side loft, Chloe Bay Bag-of-the-Month Club, society parties, and charity balls? Maybe he's dreaming of the simple life, with a small franchise to run in the suburbs, soccer practice on Saturday mornings, and a quiet night out at Applebee's as a special treat every once in a while. Find out what circle he runs in and if you want that to be your circle too.

What makes you tick? Most people really like to talk about themselves, and you show you care when you ask about their interests. So ask him about his pet peeves. What was the most fun he had this week? What was frustrating to him? When did he feel a sense of accomplishment? Don't interrogate, but you can find out a lot about his work life, his extracurricular activities, and his personal style of living when you get the conversation headed in this direction.

Check out this rash. Equally important to asking the right questions is avoiding the wrong conversation topics. Do not mention your ailing aunt, your most recent skin condition, your missing kitten, or-under any circumstance-your ex-boyfriends. Focus on the positive instead of the curiously depressing. Even if it's a good, heart-wrenching story, save it for later. You're here to shine, and turning into Debbie Downer is no way to brighten his impression of you.

If the idea of a first date terrifies you, consider hiring a dating coach! Patti Feinstein is America's Dating Coach, and if you visit her Web site at www.pattifeinstein.com and book her services using the promo code "FIVE," she'll give you a 10 percent discount!

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Excerpted from the essential fiveby kate etue recah theodosiou Copyright © 2008 by Thomas Nelson Publishers. Excerpted by permission.
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