The Christian Counselor is part of Gods plan for progressive sanctification of the counselee in such things as coming alongside to help, giving hope and /or leading the counselee to conviction, determining the biblical principles that apply to the counselees problems, teaching the biblical principles, assigning projects that incorporate the biblical principles so that the counselee will be changed in mine and /or behavior through the power of the Holy Spirit.

Counseling Needs Principles and Ethics

By Ceasar L. Felton

AuthorHouse

Copyright © 2009 Reverend Ceasar L. Felton, Ph.D
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4389-9661-5

Contents

Chapter I. Purpose of Counseling.............................................1Chapter II. Using the Bible as a Source of Power.............................11Chapter III. Role of a Christian Counselor...................................37Chapter IV. Power of Christian Counseling....................................49Chapter V. Guidelines for Effective Christian Counselors.....................57Chapter VI. Basic Approach to Counseling Situations..........................68Chapter VII. Developing a Set of Biblical Ethics.............................78Chapter VIII. The Importance of Counseling...................................92Chapter IX. Preventive Counseling............................................108Chapter X. Crisis Counseling.................................................119Chapter XI. Grief as a Counseling Opportunity................................130Chapter XII. Conclusion......................................................145References...................................................................149

Chapter One

Purpose of Counseling

Why is counseling needed?

Counseling is used to rejuvenate the mind and the soul. It aids males and females to become ethical in directions. Christian counselors must be sensitive to God's leading as they enter into a relationship with black clients. This will focus on the role of God's leading in the engaging process. The Christian counselor must be in tone to God's leading with the Word and with Prayer.

Counselors seek to establish a rapport with counselees by communicating warm, accepting, uncritical attitudes to help counselees overcome initial fears. Without active listening, joining with not occur and the counseling process will also suffer. Active listening is a basic, primary skill in counseling. Listening is crucial in assessing and diagnosing problems. The counselor must listen to make assessments, gather data, determine affect and feelings, demonstrate empathy, and interpret language.

African-Americans commonly feel that no one listens and empathizes with their plight. The counselor will not be able to right all the wrongs done to the client, but can demonstrate through active listening that they are at least willing to hear of the pain their client has experienced.

Black Americans are in great need of Biblical counseling to help enhance moral values. Forefathers of our native land practices moral values regardless of low poverty levels or acquired wealth. The role of the Christian counselor should be to encourage and facilitate the spiritual growth of the black family, couples, and individuals.

For many African-Americans, the meaning of religion recognizes the inherent relationship between religious faith and the socio-cultural political nature of African-American experiences in the United States (Morris, 1996). African-American churches have long been involved in the teaching of effective coping strategies for day-to-day problems. There are frequent proclamations that every member is "a child of God" and "someone special." These proclamations help to maintain a member's sense of worth along with various church-supported activities designed to meet the needs of the community (Boy Scouts, basketball teams, youth groups, day-care centers, Sunday School).

Counseling is a way for people who are having problems that they can't handle, can't control, or just don't know how to deal with, to find help from a trained professional. There are many types of counseling. One type is talk therapy. A person goes to a counselor because he/she can't find the answers to a problem. A counselor will listen to the problem and ask probing questions to get at a deeper level of what is going on. The therapist will then either explore with you ways that you can change your thinking about the issue or teach you skills so that you can correct this concern on your own.

There are many different kinds of counseling such as career counseling or debt counseling. There are also many types of therapy such as physical therapy or gene therapy. This chapter will discuss the psychological types of counseling and therapy.

Therapy can help alleviate emotional pain and suffering. It can teach you new skills with which you can successfully deal with the problems at hand. It can save a marriage. It can help increase your self esteem. It can give you hope that there is a better way, or a way out. It can do all these things and more. The only thing it can't do is change you. You have to do it by yourself. You have to take the skills or new ideas and put them into practice into your life. Unless one takes what they learn and put it into practice out in the world, counseling will do them no good.

Locating a Therapist

The best way to locate a therapist is through a referral. It can be from a friend, your doctor or your clergy. The best referral will always come from someone who has had a successful relationship with a therapist. They will be able to tell you what the therapist is like and what you might expect from the sessions. Other referrals can be second hand from people who have heard good things about a particular therapist. Some clients get a list of therapists covered by their insurance company. If none of these options have worked, the last resort is to usually head to the Yellow Pages. When you search the Yellow Pages, you tend to have to go on a gut feeling. You call a few people and ask them what they charge, plus a few other questions and base your decision on this brief encounter.

The Cost of Counseling

The range of paying for counseling is enormous. You can pay as little as $10 a session from an agency, or through an insurance co-pay all the way up to $145 per session and more for someone who is very good or well known (they don't always go together). No matter what the cost, there is a wide range of expertise and knowledge within each price range. The most recommended way is to thoroughly research the counselor and make your final decision based upon who you feel most comfortable with when you do your phone interviews. How you feel on the phone will be a good indicator or who you will feel in the sessions.

Fortunately, there are several options when cost is a factor. The first is low cost counseling provided by county mental health departments. They usually have a staff that will see you for a very low fee. They can be looked up in the county government pages of your phone book under mental health. The second is low fee counseling centers. They usually don't advertise, but if you interview therapists and tell them you need something less expensive, they should be able to point you in the right direction. Next are schools. If you have any colleges in your area that have graduate degrees in psychology, they usually have low fee counseling centers where students train to become therapists. Last but not least are your local churches. Ministers and pastors are trained in counseling and usually offer their services free of charge.

What does successful counseling look and feel like?

Successful counseling feels like something has changed, something is different. You feel more hope and self-confidence. You are trying out new behaviors and they are working. The way successful therapy looks is that other people begin to comment that something about you seems different. Maybe they don't know what has changed in you, but you feel better to be around. You will also notice that you are having different results from actions that in the past would not have gone so well. In the end, you will always be the one to make the decision about whether therapy has been successful or not.

If you feel that counseling has not helped, tell your counselor. Explain what is not working and why. Discuss things that have worked in the past. If the counselor gets defensive it may be time to look for someone else. But it is important to reflect on what your therapist says. The reason counseling is needed from time to time is that we can't see our self defeating thoughts or behaviors, and it sometimes takes an impartial observer to point out to us what is obvious to others.

Once counseling has been completed, you will feel it. Most of the concerns and anxiety that brought you into therapy will have dissipated. You will have learned coping skills and new behaviors to deal with any issues that may persist. Your therapist should be able to give you feedback about your decision to stop therapy and discuss whether or not they feel you are ready to terminate. Ultimately the decision is in your hands.

How does one know counseling is needed?

A wife might say, "My husband is withdrawn, argumentative and spends hours staring at the TV. I think we need counseling. Do you have any suggestions?" There are things that some men have real trouble stomaching. Formal psychotherapy or counseling is one of those. Guys view counseling much like they do driving. They would sooner wander aimlessly for hours rather than admit to being lost and ask for directions. The admonition seems to provoke pain in the primordial "I'm always right" center of the brain. Guys encounter a similar nausea when told that they MUST go see the doctor or therapist. Echoes of "no one can tell me what to do" abound at the mere mention of counseling. The key lies in how one defines the subject. The difference between men and women in approaching this matter is often merely superficial. Counseling is a journey into exploring your inner self, examining your own feelings and learning to communicate for the resolution of differences. A true therapist will never utter a judgmental comment. Rather, the experience is one of reflecting your own feelings and viewing them from other angles. This alone can enhance communication and understanding.

Advantages of Counseling

Although counseling has become diversified, the current interest has not taken into consideration the socio-cultural political religious contexts of many clients. According to Bergin (cited in Morris), counselors are beginning to realize the value of exploring spiritual components of clients' lives after decades of viewing religion as relatively un-important to the mental health of the client. An initial step for counselors may be to actively work toward increasing personal awareness of attitudes and beliefs regarding race and religion. Coming to grips with one's own values in these areas enhances the possibility of displaying accepting attitudes toward African-American clients and their religious beliefs, especially when sharp contrasts exist between counselor and client belief systems.

Clients who make frequent and genuine references to the importance of church or God during early counseling sessions often reveal pertinent information regarding their overall value system, which may hold great merit throughout the counseling process, regardless of presenting concerns and behaviors. Further, information regarding clients' spiritual values may be used even if the client is not currently active in the church. Counselors who tactfully investigate clients' historical involvement with religion may find that certain clients easily identify the important role the church played in their youth, as well as the impact of early church involvement on their adult development.

Counselors who are aware of a client's religious background can use that knowledge through the use of terminology reflecting an understanding and appreciation of the clients' worldview. For example, using phrases and words such as "the right thing to do," "morally sound," "correct," and "appropriate," directly tap into many clients' religious upbringing and development. Reflecting the client's religious terminology as opportunities arise will help promote an atmosphere where the client feels understood, thereby enhancing the possibility of creating a solid working relationship.

The Advantages of Telephone Counseling

The advantages of telephone counseling over in-office, face-to-face counseling are startling. The primary advantage is that you can counsel with someone that is simply not available in your area. Some communities have no distinctive biblical counselors, and telephone counseling is the only way to get help. But even in large metropolitan areas, it is sometimes hard to find someone trained in a particular method that you trust.

The convenience and privacy of the telephone are also tremendous advantages. Getting to and from a counseling office can sometimes take hours, and you never know who you will meet in the waiting room. Telephone counseling is also something that does not require a babysitter. Many clients are able to entertain their children with a video while talking on the phone to a counselor. In addition, telephone counseling is usually less expensive than office counseling. There's much less overhead even if the counselor provides toll-free calling. So while one may spend $95 to $125 an hour for an office visit, professional marriage counseling by telephone can be as little as $75.

The idea that a counselor's physical presence is essential to counseling success is simply not true. In fact, people can be helped by telephone that could never have been reached in person. Some are either too embarrassed to come to an office, or are not motivated enough to make the trip. But by telephone they get all the help they need with complete privacy and very little initial effort, and the results can be dramatic.

Of course, there is work to rebuilding a marriage and personal lives. And couples must exert effort to stop hurting each other, learn to meet each other's emotional needs and fulfill biblical responsibilities. Couples have to stick to the program until it is completed. But the counseling itself requires very little effort when done by telephone.

The Counselor-Client Relationship

A positive counselor-client working alliance may be further developed by employing a systematic approach when working the African-American clients. This approach incorporates the influence of a number of variables impacting the client. Where appropriate, ministers and others within the church could be used as resources (Boyd-Franklin, 1989, cited in Morris). In addition, homework assignments requiring contact with or feedback from members of the church may further support clients' values and exploration of more effective strategies for resolving current difficulties. Religion has played a crucial role in the lives of African-Americans. For counselors to discount the historical significance of religion would be, in essence, to discount the client.

As a general rule, both Christian counseling and secular counseling share the same desire to help people overcome their problems, find meaning and joy in life, and become healthy and well-adjusted individuals, both mentally and emotionally. Most counselors have graduate degrees and have spent years learning their craft.

The word "counseling" can have multiple meanings, including offering advice and encouragement, sharing wisdom and skills, setting goals, resolving conflict, etc. Counselors usually probe the past (whether the problem happened a week ago or during childhood) in an attempt to repair the present. Sometimes they explore possible affects of physical and chemical imbalances that can cause physiological problems. A major part of counseling is resolving and restoring conflicts between people.

Christian counseling is distinct from secular counseling. Christian counseling rises to another dimension. "In contrast to psychologically-integrated systems, Biblical counseling seeks to carefully discover those areas in which a Christian may be disobedient to the principles and commands of Scripture and to help him learn how to lovingly submit to God's will," reports the International Association of Biblical Counselors.

Christian counselors are able to do that because they have an absolute standard by which to measure their objectives and evaluate their counselee's lifestyle. They see the Bible as a source of all truth. 2 Timothy 3:16-17 says, "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work." The secular counselor has no such standard, but instead, they use the latest psychological findings or societal norm, both of which change with the winds of time. Therefore, a secular counselor has no absolutes with which to judge morals and the choices people make. Christian counselors understand that the Bible has a lot of practical wisdom about human nature, marriowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness (2 Peter 1:3). A Christian counselor's major strategy is to help their clients substitute biblical truth for error as they go about their day-to-day lives. They know that the truth, when known, believed, and obeyed, sets people free. When people are set free, they are fulfilling their true calling. "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free" (John 8:32).

Chapter Two

Using the Bible as a Source of Power

Biblical counseling is a process in which the Biblical counselor helps a counselee find and do God's will, thereby cooperating with God's plan to progressively conform the counselee to the image of His Son (Romans 8:29).

(Continues...)

Excerpted from Counseling Needs Principles and Ethicsby Ceasar L. Felton Copyright © 2009 by Reverend Ceasar L. Felton, Ph.D. Excerpted by permission.
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