Corporate COMMON SENSE

AuthorHouse

Contents

1. The Spirit of Thomas Paine...........................................................................................................................12. A Nave Boy's Journey to COMMON SENSE................................................................................................................63. Thomas Paine, Elvis & Eagle Leaders..................................................................................................................174. The Noble Pursuit of Extreme Profits.................................................................................................................205. Discipline Like Momma Would..........................................................................................................................246. Why Staplers Are Destroying Corporate America........................................................................................................297. Leadership Lessons from a Flight Attendant...........................................................................................................318. Diversity Training-Adults Attending Kindergarten.....................................................................................................349. President Andrew Johnson Believed in Eagle Principles................................................................................................3810. The Birdman, the Eagle & the Beach..................................................................................................................4211. Why Didn't Someone Tell Me About The 33 Absolute Facts of Corporate Life?...........................................................................4512. The Top 10 Leadership Lessons I Learned From Watching Hell's Kitchen................................................................................5013. In 2018, a New Law Will Be Passed to Make Work Optional for All Employees, Ducks Plan March on Washington to Show Their Support.....................5314. How Eagles Eliminate Fear & How Ducks Use It to Manipulate Others...................................................................................5715. How I Survived My First Seminar & Why I'm Still Afraid of Nuns......................................................................................6116. Measure Twice & Cut Once............................................................................................................................6417. Great Scouting Systems Are Not Just for Baseball Teams..............................................................................................6918. E.E.I.A. Your Presentation..........................................................................................................................7619. Duck-Free Zone......................................................................................................................................8020. Should I Use My Picture On My Business Card Even If I Believe I'm Homely?...........................................................................8321. Mission Control, What The Hell Are You Talking About?...............................................................................................8622. The First Strategy-How to Differentiate Your Career.................................................................................................8923. The Greatest Eagle Leadership Lesson That Took Me 20 Years to Learn.................................................................................9324. Humans Communicating Effectively-A Great Idea Whose Time Has Come ... Again.........................................................................9725. Michael Jackson. Carter Braxton. John Hart. Thomas Nelson, Jr.......................................................................................10126. The 5 Things You Should Never Say to Your Employees, Unless You're Really Mad!......................................................................10427. The Donkey, the Old Man & the Young Boy The Greatest Eagle Lesson Ever Told!........................................................................10728. When Leaders Speak They Should Have the Decency to Say Something....................................................................................10929. Why Eagle Leaders Focus on Their Identity, While Duck Leaders Focus on Their Image..................................................................11230. My Top 5 Strategies on How to Earn a Gigantic Raise.................................................................................................11531. How Eagle Leaders Determine an Employee's Raise in Less Than One Minute.............................................................................11932. How to Reward Eagles, Hold the Undecided Employees Accountable & Separate Ducks in Four Minutes or Less.............................................12233. If Not Now, When? Mark Twain's View on Eagles & Ducks...............................................................................................12734. The Four Profit Battlefield Issues That I Was Willing to Die For....................................................................................13135. I'm No Urologist, But Most Employees Have the Wrong "P".............................................................................................13536. The Four Words That You Should Never Say to Your Boss...............................................................................................13837. How to Hire an Eagle................................................................................................................................14238. Independence Day & The Pursuit of Happiness.........................................................................................................14639. The Grocery Store Eagles............................................................................................................................14940. A Christmas Gift That Only An Eagle Will Appreciate.................................................................................................15241. Why Eagles Hate Corporate Foreplay..................................................................................................................15442. Do You Work in a Duck Company?......................................................................................................................15743. When Building a Successful Career, Never Make This Catastrophic Mistake.............................................................................16144. Why Stories Are Memorable & Why Information Training Is a Waste of Profits (This Lesson Will Amaze You).............................................16445. The Biggest Lie That All Employees Choose to Believe................................................................................................16746. My Stunning Revelation About Motivation.............................................................................................................17047. I Just Realized That My Boss Is a Duck. Now What Do I Do?...........................................................................................17348. One Career Secret I Have Not Shared With Anyone.....................................................................................................17749. Why Golf's Ryder Cup Should Be Named the Eagle Cup..................................................................................................18050. Why Your Career Depends on You Seeing Red BMW Convertibles Everywhere...............................................................................18351. People Don't Like Change! The Secret Lie of a Duck Leader...........................................................................................18652. Money Is a Great Motivator But _______,________ & ________ Inspires Greatness.......................................................................18953. Do You Know the 12 Most Persuasive Words in the English Language?...................................................................................19354. Why We Only Care About Our Careers When We Are Scared...............................................................................................19755. Why Duck Leaders Are So Scary.......................................................................................................................20156. In These Tough Economic Times, Could You Defend Your Career?........................................................................................20557. I Believe in 3......................................................................................................................................20858. 3 New Year Resolutions That 90% of Employees Refuse to Make.........................................................................................21159. Knowledge Retention-Please Only Tell Me What I Need to Know.........................................................................................21560. Eagle Lessons from the Super Bowl...................................................................................................................22061. How to Discover The Hidden Profits in Your Company..................................................................................................22362. How I Found $100,000 When I Cleaned Out My Business Closet..........................................................................................22663. The Desperate Executive & The Talking Owl...........................................................................................................22964. Why Jack Bauer, Star of the Television Show "24," Would Not Make It In Corporate America Today......................................................23265. The Number 1 Leadership Question That Many Leaders Fail to Answer Correctly.........................................................................23666. Leadership Lessons from Johnny Cash's 1969 Hit Song, "A Boy Named Sue"..............................................................................24067. Are You an L.M. or H.M. Employee? Your Paycheck Already Knows the Answer............................................................................24368. Learn the Number One Eagle Principle of All Time & Why Unprofitable Companies Choose to Ignore It...................................................24669. Why Eagles Don't Pursue Goals.......................................................................................................................25070. Do Eagle Leaders Really Matter?.....................................................................................................................25471. What's Your Threshold of Work?......................................................................................................................25772. What's the One Characteristic That Is the Key to Making Your Career & Company Obscenely Profitable?.................................................26073. When The Horse Is Dead - Get Off....................................................................................................................26474. Kentucky Educational Czars Consider Marxist Strategy................................................................................................26775. I Play Golf as Good as Tiger Woods..................................................................................................................27176. Dutch Researchers Determine That a Mess Will Make a Mess............................................................................................27577. The Few. The Proud. The Eagle Leaders...............................................................................................................27878. A Tribute to Our Fallen Eagles......................................................................................................................28279. New Year. Same Raise. New Strategy..................................................................................................................28680. I Thought I Was Ugly Until I Met You (The Art of Clarity)...........................................................................................29081. Money-The Easy Scapegoat & the Biggest Lie..........................................................................................................29382. Marketing Your Career & Company, How to be an "Invited Guest" Versus an "Annoying Pest".............................................................29683. Perfection Is the Enemy of Eagle Leaders & Eagle Profits............................................................................................30084. If It Was Going to Be Easy, I Would Have Sent Someone Else..........................................................................................30385. The Top 2 Excuses That Are Destroying Your Salary...................................................................................................30686. The Greatest Interview That Never Happened..........................................................................................................31087. How to Practice Intelligent Ignorance...............................................................................................................31588. The Secret Power of Rule #15........................................................................................................................31889. Ben Franklin Knew More About Leadership Than Many Leaders Today.....................................................................................32190. Leadership Lessons from "Dancing with the Stars"....................................................................................................32491. The Eagle Leaders. The Tin Man. The Wizard of Oz....................................................................................................32792. 3 Eye-Opening Leadership Exercises That No One Teaches..............................................................................................33093. My All-Time Favorite Leadership Story...............................................................................................................33394. 9/11-How It Changed One Eagle Leader................................................................................................................33795. Thank You Thomas Paine..............................................................................................................................341

Chapter One

This book is dedicated to the courageous American patriot - Thomas Paine.

In 1776, Mr. Paine penned a classic pamphlet that helped shape and inspire a generation of Americans to pursue and accomplish the impossible - independence from the most powerful nation on earth, England.

Mr. Paine eloquently communicated to the American colonies why they must pursue independence from the King of England. His illustrations were so compelling that one could only conclude that Mr. Paine's logic was built on a solid foundation of common sense. His powerful and persuasive pamphlet was simply titled, "COMMON SENSE."

Mr. Paine's pamphlet served as a catalyst for America to claim its rightful place in the history of the world. His words not only touched the American soul, they moved the American patriot's soul to action. His words changed the world and contributed to the birth of a powerful nation. Not just any nation, the United States of America, the world's greatest nation.

How could one young man inspire a generation based on a simple concept of COMMON SENSE? Doesn't everyone possess the mental capacity for COMMON SENSE? Doesn't everyone base their actions on COMMON SENSE? The answer is clearly no.

The challenges that faced our nation in 1776 are strangely the same challenges that face our corporate nation today. The lack of COMMON SENSE by our leaders and fellow corporate countrymen is causing America to deteriorate into a dependent society where a king or a similar master will govern over us.

"Though I would carefully avoid giving unnecessary offence, yet I am inclined to believe, that all those who espouse the doctrine of reconciliation, may be included within the following descriptions. Interested men, who are not to be trusted; weak men who cannot see; prejudiced men who will not see; and a certain set of moderate men, who think better of the European world than it deserves; and this last class by an ill-judged deliberation, will be the cause of more calamities to this continent than all the other three." Thomas Paine - COMMON SENSE (1776)

Mr. Paine urged his countrymen that America was in search of strong leadership based on integrity, mental-toughness, freedom and most of all COMMON SENSE. He warned his countrymen that those individuals who preached reconciliation and the self-proclaimed "enlightened moderate men" were dangerous to our country. It was not a time in American history for pacifists or moderates. It was a time for action.

Corporate COMMON SENSE is very similar to the call to action of Mr. Paine. This book will focus on the new generation of kings in America, corporate and academia kings who are just as dangerous and destructive to America's future as the King of England was in 1776. Are they misguided or just incompetent in their views of corporate America? It really doesn't matter. Both flaws serve as a destructive tool designed to destroy this great nation.

In 1776, Americans were in need of political COMMON SENSE to stay the course in their fight for independence. In 2009, America is still in need of COMMON SENSE, especially Corporate COMMON SENSE.

In order to understand the following lessons. Let me take a minute to identify the three types of corporate leaders and employees. Two of these employee types will be the cause of more calamities in the corporate world and if not remedied, will cause the destruction of American capitalism.

Eagles - Eagle employees are the can-do overachievers, problem-solvers, self-reliant, self-taught, action individuals who proactively demolish every obstacle that is placed in their path. Eagles believe in maximum efforts to achieve maximum results and pay. Approximately 20% of a company's employees will be Eagle leaders or Eagle employees.

Ducks - Duck employees are the can't-do underachievers, whiners, complainers, conflict-adverse and are a risk-adverse cancer that, if not eliminated, will spread and destroy any company. Ducks believe in minimal efforts to achieve maximum results and pay. They believe in a philosophy of an honest week's pay for an honest day's work. Approximately 20% of a company's employees will be Duck leaders or Duck employees.

Undecided - Undecided employees are the majority of employees found in the middle between the Eagles and the Ducks. The Undecided employees are the moderate employees of our time. Their "undecided" passion will cause them to be easily swayed and influenced by the corporate Ducks among us. The Undecided are not sure which team they want to join, the Eagles or the Ducks. Approximately 60% of a company's leaders or employees will be Undecided employees.

In every organization there is a daily battle between the Eagles and Ducks for the Undecided votes. Whomever wins that battle will determine the success and stability of that organization. If the Duck Nation ever recruits more than 50% of a company's employees into their ranks, that company will cease to exist and will require a taxpayer bailout to remain active. A corporate bailout is really the government control of private business or communism. As the government acquires more and more power in the private business sector, America will lose our capitalistic foundation and move to a more socialistic or communistic society.

During the course of my corporate life, I have experienced the rapid expansion of the Duck Nation. The Ducks have infiltrated the government, media, education, unions, employees, leaders and even the corporate board rooms. Why would corporate Americans who fought so hard for freedom and liberties be so seduced by the Ducks? Why would they voluntarily forfeit the freedoms that Americans now experience to return to the dependent conditions of 1776? Why would corporate Americans trade freedom for security that only two hundred and thirty-three years ago, Americans were willing to sacrifice their blood or even their lives to maintain the taste of freedom?

My goal in this book is to illustrate the battles between the Eagles, Ducks and Undecided employees that exist today in corporate America. My hope is that you will see these three employee groups in every company you encounter. The first step in resolving this problem is to shine the light on those who will willingly strip us of our freedoms and our right to fairly participate in our corporate pursuit of happiness.

I have broken the book into a series of lessons. Each lesson is designed to point out the dark side of Duck leaders and Duck employees. I must warn you, the lessons contain humor in my humble attempt to communicate with you in a provocative and unusual way. I will speak to you with the frankness of a father and in a straight-forward manner that is normally associated with the phrase COMMON SENSE.

I hope you find these lessons valuable as you pursue your Eagle career and leadership roles. I hope you will cement your career skills in COMMON SENSE and if necessary, fight the corporate Ducks among us.

The Ducks are a viscous group with little ambition and a commitment to the concept of entitlement. They have survived for centuries by following a motto that only a king could appreciate - WE WANT SOMETHING FOR NOTHING. IT IS OUR BIRTH RIGHT TO OBTAIN RICHES FOR WHICH WE HAVE NOT EARNED. They believe in taking their gains instead of the honored tradition of earning their gains. They are the founding fathers for "trickle-up economics."

It appears the great last battle for Corporate COMMON SENSE will not be fought at Yorktown. The last great battle will be fought in every corporate battlefield in America. The Ducks are numerous and they are expanding their power over the Undecided employees at an alarming rate. Our last great hope is left to Eagle leaders and employees. Their passion to attack the Ducks with their never-ending commitment to Corporate COMMON SENSE will be our last battlefield.

Let me briefly share a few quotes from Thomas Paine that have their roots in COMMON SENSE. The quotes seem to have the same merit today as they did hundreds of years ago.

"The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of his country; but he that stands it NOW deserves the love and thanks of man and woman."

"I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection. 'Tis the business of little minds to shrink, but he whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves his conduct, will pursue his principles unto death."

"A thing moderately good is not so good as it ought to be. Moderation in temper is always a virtue; but moderation in principle is always a vice."

"If there must be trouble, let it be in my day, that my child may have peace."

"Lead, follow, or get out of the way."

"Reason obeys itself; and ignorance submits to whatever is dictated to it."

It's time for a few modern day patriots to emerge on the corporate landscape. A few corporate leaders will say what needs to be said and take action. I just believe America is worth fighting for. I have chosen to fight. How about you?

A Nave Boy's Journey to COMMON SENSE

In order to understand my COMMON SENSE business principles, I believe I need to share a little information about my past. The first eighteen years of my life was a protected time for me. I attended grade-school at the top of our street and high school only a few miles from my home. I attended Northern Kentucky University and hated every minute of my "higher education" experience.

I hung around with my friends in the neighborhood and very seldom left the peaceful surroundings of my community. I never knew any kids whose parents were divorced and all my friends grew up in a traditional family consisting of a mom and dad. I didn't know anyone who was a homosexual, transsexual, transvestite or even a metro-sexual. Whatever that means. Let me explain how protected my childhood was.

In 1971, I played basketball for our local high school. We played in a Christmas tournament that year in Paducah, Kentucky. One night the entire basketball team went to watch a new James Bond movie, Diamonds Are Forever. I love the James Bond character, so I really enjoyed the movie. Nothing registered in my mind after watching the movie about the strange behavior of several of the characters.

Many years later, I watched the movie again and was shocked to realize that those strange characters in the movie were playing the role of "gay-guys." Since I had no idea that gay people even existed in 1971, I just thought they were odd movie characters. Now, since I have become "enlightened" about the real human condition, it's embarrassing that I was so nave.

Growing up I never knew anything about drugs or anyone who took drugs. I tried beer in high school, but never liked the taste of any beer or alcohol. While everyone encouraged me to "acquire the taste" for beer, I just couldn't do it. It always tasted like something that ran off of Luther's boot to me. I still don't drink anything but Diet Coke.

My parents were wonderful and I don't have a negative memory about growing up. Even though we never had a lot of money, I never felt poor. I actually never really wanted anything except basketball shoes and a decent basketball net for our backyard basketball goal. I met my wife in the third-grade and we have been running together since that time. In 2009, we celebrated our thirty-third wedding anniversary.

I guess you could say that I lived the Leave It To Beaver life during my first eighteen years. My favorite television show was the Andy Griffith Show and I believed in God, America and apple pie. I thought everyone believed as I did and everyone approached life the same way I did.

I never had a real job until I was eighteen. In 1973, I started my first real job at the parking lot at the Greater Cincinnati Airport. It was an easy job. I sat in a little booth for eight hours. Cars would pull up and I would do my best to calculate and handle the financial exchange. I worked about forty-hours a week for minimum wage and went to college full time.

That's where my views of corporate America started and I was about to learn how nave I was and how corporate America really worked. I was stunned at what I observed and experienced over the next thirty-six years. I thought the world was made up of "Wally and the Beaver" type people and I quickly learned how bizarre, corrupt, unethical and perverted the real business world was. I had this nave belief that I could prove to the world that honesty was the best policy. What a joke!

I quickly started to learn that something strange was occurring in the airport parking lot community. It seemed every college kid who worked there had a very hot car. At first, I thought these guys must be very good booth jockeys and were really receiving great raises. I worked hard and hoped the boss would notice that I processed more cars than anyone on my shift and I was very accurate with my rate calculations. I was sure that as soon as my boss noticed my performance that big money was in my future. Of course, that meant a really cool car for me.

I worked hard for over a year and I never received more than a minimum wage salary. Then one day, this nave boy had his eyes opened. I arrived early for one of my shifts and sat in the booth with one of the senior booth jockeys. I thought I could learn from an expert and see why he was worth more money than I was. We were working the short-term lot and about every third car, the senior booth jockey would place a quarter in his pocket after each transaction. I was puzzled and felt that oh-oh feeling. What was going on? Why did he pocket all these quarters? Was it for security reasons? I told you I was nave. I finally gathered up enough courage to ask what was going on. On that day, I learned my first lesson on how Ducks make a lot of money. They steal it. I was shocked and upset with myself for being so stupid.

Over the next year, I decided to keep my eyes open and see what else might be happening with these successful booth jockeys. One day I noticed a very strange ritual. As I was pulling into the parking lot, I noticed that a co-worker was also arriving at the ticket booth just ahead of me. I watched as he stopped just short of the gate and exited his car. He opened his trunk and pulled out a piece of metal. He laid the metal where a car would normally be when it was preparing to take a ticket. The piece of metal was pretending to be a car. When the ticket dispersed, the gate would rise and my co-worker would pick up the piece of metal and then lay it on the ground behind the gate to simulate a car was driving into the lot. When he picked the metal piece back up, the gate would drop to the closed position.

I watch my co-worker perform this ritual about three to four times and then he placed the parking tickets he accumulated in his pocket. He then proceeded to his assigned booth. I found the whole thing to be quite odd and thought it was just his job to make sure the gates were working properly. After the incident with the quarters being pocketed, I started to wonder what was up. I kept an eye on my co-worker all day, but never saw anything out of the ordinary.

About three weeks later, I was scheduled to replace this co-worker after the end of his shift. I arrived at work fifteen minutes early and decided to sit in my car and wait for the shift change. The sky was getting pitch black and the wind was really kicking up. I decided I better get in that booth before all hell broke lose. I jumped in the booth with my co-worker about ten minutes early and just watched as he finished his shift.

At one point, I noticed that he removed a parking ticket from his pocket and slid that ticket into the register instead of using the customer's ticket. He rang up one dollar on the register, but the customer was charged forty dollars for his parking. I was confused, but I never said a word. After the transaction, the co-worker turned and said, "That was the best one all day." I had no idea what he was talking about.

(Continues...)

Excerpted from Corporate COMMON SENSEby Thomas J. Wurtz Copyright © 2009 by Thomas J. Wurtz. Excerpted by permission.
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