A baby boy, born of a sixteen-year old, is given up to adoption. (A secret kept by the teenager until many years later.)

Jon, the adopted baby (documents are sealed) grows up in the loving and safe environment of John and Emily Strutter. Heredity evidences in Jon's physical traits - blue eyes, writing left handed, and a cowlick at his hairline, but environment molds his character - thoughtful, responsible, and dependable.

Jon is attracted not only to girls but boys as well and is puzzled why. (A question shared only with a male friend.) Jon seeks to find answers by wanting to know his birth parents but is met with strong resistance from his over-protective mother ("those files are closed forever"). Jon's father reveals information he has kept private for twenty-one years, and Jon's sets a plan to see at least one of his birth parents.

Jon takes a summer job two states away, in Nora's city. He gets to know Nora by visiting her frame shop, and Jon believes his true identity remains a secret. As Jon drives home to family and school in Minnesota, he must decide how to live his life. With who and where? His choices lead to more secrets.

Convenient Secrets

A NovelBy Ann Wade

Trafford Publishing

Copyright © 2009 Gertrude Wade
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4269-0068-6

Chapter One

Good News Day

1

EMILY GRABBED A kitchen towel, rubbed her hands dry, and rushed to the ringing telephone. The handset was at her ear before the fourth ring. "Hello," she said in a breathless tone.

"Mrs. Strutter? Sally Mason, Catholic Services."

"Yes, Sally. Good to hear your voice." Emily mentally pictured the dcor of Mrs. Mason's office from previous Minneapolis visits. An un-cluttered table-top desk neat and organized. Pictures of the Minneapolis Basilica and the cathedral in St. Paul hung on an ivory colored wall and, by her window, a large photograph from an early St. Paul's Winter Carnival of an ice palace bathed in colored lights. Being true to the Minnesotan way in starting a conversation, Emily asked about the weather. "How deep is the snow in Minneapolis? We've got about five inches on the ground."

"Quite a bit more here, we felt the brunt of the storm last week. The sun shines brightly today however and that makes for bitter cold you know."

"Same here. Guess that's our Minnesota winter fare. Are you calling with news?"

"Yes, I am. We have a pregnancy in its fifth month, due in the spring. I wanted to ..." Mrs. Mason didn't get to finish.

"Oh, how wonderful. Glorious is the word. It's like a Christmas gift ... the babe arriving." Emily's emotions flowed into tears and muffled breathing. Her left hand pressed on her forehead, and she turned quickly as if to twirl and then caught the telephone as it slid to the edge of the stand. "Oh, we've waited soooo, so long."

"I know this is an exciting moment, but remember this is just a possibility. All we know right now is that the mother has chosen for adoption ... but still has the option to keep her child. That final decision waits until after she's held the newborn."

"Yes, I remember ... you've stressed that many times. But ... but I want to think of this as good news."

"Well, let's keep in mind that whatever the decision is, it is good news."

"Can we be at the hospital?" Emily interjected.

"Possibly, but not usually on the birth day, Mrs. Strutter. We'll work that out and more in the coming months. Meanwhile, you should be prepared for a change of mind. While it doesn't happen often, we do insist that the birth parents see and hold the baby the first twenty-four hours."

Emily spoke quickly, "I know, you're saying it's always chancy, but if she goes for adoption, I could hold my baby the day it is born."

"Or very soon, thereafter," Mrs. Mason assured her.

"Oh, how wonderful! A child in our home. We shall be a complete family." Her voice was like a singing bell.

"Please, Mrs. Strutter, keep in mind there are four months to birth, which in itself is quite a momentous time for the young parents. We should all want the best outcome for the child."

"I know, I know. You do help us keep that in mind. But, we've waited so long ... had our own disappointments." Emily voice turned into a more sober tone. "What is the probability she'll change her mind?"

"That's hard to really say. Birth is an emotional, life-changing experience, and young mothers are often in a quandary."

"I think I can imagine that. But, what's been your experience? Fifty-fifty? Seventy-thirty?"

"It's a low percentage overall. Though I've seen it happen and sometimes in cases which surprised me. While this young woman I am working with now is quite adamant about adoption, there's always the other possibility. I'm not sure if the young man can persuade her to change her mind."

Emily did not press Mrs. Mason any further. "Well, I'm going to pray the right decision is made. In the end, as you say, it must be what's best for the baby."

"Excellent thoughts to carry with us," Mrs. Mason concurred. "I'm putting a number of things in the mail today. Please read them carefully - both you and Mr. Strutter - and we'll be talking again soon."

"Will we be coming to Minneapolis?"

"Yes, once for sure and maybe again later if necessary."

"Oh, I do feel confident and blessed ... after so many mishaps." Suddenly, Emily's voice turned up, "What a blessing if it were twins."

"Well, that would be a first for me," Sally chuckled and paused before saying, "Please call me after you've read the packet or if you want to discuss anything."

"Thank you, Sally ... we'll be in touch. I told John this morning that I felt this was going to be a special day. Can't wait to tell him. Thank you again. What a Christmas present."

Emily danced down the hallway to the kitchen and smiled as she thought back over the breakfast conversation with her husband. She had told John, "Something good is coming our way today."

John lowered his head and looked at Emily over his glasses. "Have you been planning something?"

"No, John, I've not been dreaming up surprises. My intuition tells me this is a special day for us. It's ... well ... I just feel it."

"Now, are you sure that it isn't just wishful thinking? You might be full of fancy because Christmas is so near." John spoke in an affectionate tone.

"Oh John, you are such a skeptic." She busied herself filling their coffee cups.

"Emily, what have you been weaving ... some scheme for the holidays? I notice that you've been a bit more of a sparkle lately, which often means you have a surprise coming our way."

"John, you make me sound like a sorceress."

"Let's say we've seen you make magical things happen before," John smiled lovingly at his wife, "and then pretend it was just a random, wondrous happening."

"John ... John." Emily scrunched her face into a `here we go again' look.

"Emily, Emily." John mimicked. "Think we all love your magical side, and I'll look forward to hearing about `the something good' tonight." He laid his napkin next to his plate, now empty of scrambled eggs and toast. "Must be off."

"Don't forget to tell Dad we expect him for dinner Sunday, and we'll all go to the Christmas concert from here."

Emily walked John to the front door and held his winter scarf while he pushed his arms through the sleeves of a black tailored overcoat. She tucked the scarf around his neck and under his coat collar, and then lifted her face for a good-bye kiss. They never started their day or ended their evening without expressions of love. Mr. and Mrs. John Strutter were spoken of as the model married folks in Witherston, Minnesota.

2

John Strutter first saw Emily Knowland at Jefferson Junior College, where they both were preparing for a medical professional, she as a nurse, he to be a pharmacist. Professor Jorgensen had just begun his lecture on Anatomy, when a female with a trim body took the empty seat next to John. He nodded with a smile, and she returned the smile with a whispered "Hi." John had noticed this pretty face; once at the doorway entrance at Crawley Hall, several times in this class, and just yesterday in the Malt Shop at the student union. Her deep brown eyes had caught his attention, and he noticed that her lips gave shape to a perpetual smile. Her long-legged figure attracted him. Comparing her height to his six foot-two frame, he gauged her to be five feet six, at least.

The professor began his lecture on the body's circulatory system, including diagrams of the network of vessels that carry blood to and from the heart. Both students busily moved their pens across their notebooks; the terminology describing the construction of the arteries was complex. As the auditorium emptied, the two remained seated comparing their notes, studying the diagram, and helping each other to clarify definitions.

"Guess we should introduce ourselves. I'm John Strutter - my hometown is Witherston."

"Hi. I'm Emily Knowland from Cross Center. Our basketball teams played each year. Were you on the team?"

"Yes, for Central High. I was number six, but I doubt you would have noticed ... I was not the star player."

"No probably not. My attention was more on pom-poms and leading cheers. Guess I could ask you, don't you remember the four cheerleaders in green and white?" Emily asked coyly.

"Well, at least I can place the school colors," replied John, and she wrinkled her nose in response.

As they walked out and away from the building, they found they were going in the same direction - to the cafeteria for lunch. It seemed easy to share a table and to linger after a sandwich and soda, talking about professors and studies, until class time.

In that first meeting, they found common ground and mutual attraction and seemed a natural fit, suitable in so many ways. Emily had grown up in a Catholic family and community; John was brought up in similar circumstances in a larger town one hundred miles north of Cross Center. They'd been born in the same year, 1930 - Emily in July, John in December. Both were twenty years old, and in four years, they would be married.

3

By the end of their first conversation in the school cafeteria, Emily and John said their first good-bye. Her eyes lingered on the tall man as he walked away. I've just met my love. He's mine. I know it. There's something about his voice ... like a magnet ... draws me to him. He's like a caress. I'll marry him ... I know it. This type of intuitive knowing was the same as a guarantee to Emily; she accepted the feelings as fact and acted upon them. This trait had been fine-tuned into the art of friendly persuasion, even in one who was barely twenty. She knew how to convince others to follow her dreams and desires, so that the outcome originally sensed came to pass, re-enforcing her belief that her intuition was exempt from error. Others might refer to her as an innocent manipulator, but Emily thought it her right and obligation to follow her instincts. So, from the beginning, Emily treated John as if he were her treasure and her man.

Emily Knowland Strutter was born July 12, 1930, the last in a family of three children. Her siblings were brothers, eight and five years older. They doted on their little sister; giving her the first cookie, the first dish of ice cream for desert, the first choice of toys, and building her first snowman. They read her books, played ball with her, twirled her in make-believe dances, taught her how to brush Toby, the fox terrier and, when she was five, how to play cowboy and Indian. Emily was the maiden princess saved by the cowboy brothers.

Emily came upon the art of persuasion naturally, as she wanted only the best things happening for her. She came to learn that wishes were granted when she asked coyly or playfully. Even her father, Carl, could not deny the pretty face and ever-present dimples that deepened with a smile. Emily learned she needn't whine or cry her way into a win; rather a smile, a laugh, or a kittenish `maybe I will or maybe I won't' never let her down. The family noticed Emily began to hum at six years of age, and she went on humming into adult life, a sure sign that life was happy and going her way.

She hummed waiting for John outside the classroom - she 'just happened to be there' at the time he was coming down the hallway. Her timing was impeccable; although, John never thought it an accident after it happened more than once, but he was pleased with her ploy. It became a natural for them to have lunch in the student union after class, and they soon began meeting for dinner in the cafeteria, giving them more time to share their personal lives and dreams.

One night they explored their choice of professions. "Where do you think you will nurse?" inquired John. "Will you go to a larger city, like Minneapolis, St. Paul?"

"I'm not sure. I do have to work the hospital floors to finish my training. I'd like Mayo Clinic."

"Good place. I see it always at the top of hospital ratings. I hear people saying Rochester is a nice town to live in, small and friendly."

"I'd really like that. My next two years are primarily working classes, so I have to be near a hospital. My brother is urging me to transfer to the University of Minnesota."

"Why is that? Does he live there?" John asked.

"He and his wife have a home just north of the city. They offered me free room and board. Though, I'd need a car for transportation." Emily spoke hesitantly.

"You sound as if you might have another choice."

"There is a smaller school and hospital in St. Paul ... St. Mary's which might be more to my liking. And my dad has offered to help with my tuition. Won't you be at Minnesota for your degree in pharmacy?" Emily asked, secretly elated that they'd be in the same city.

"Yes, that's the plan. It's where my father graduated."

"We could explore the big city together." Emily gave a quick smile. "Couldn't we?" He nodded with less than the full enthusiasm she hoped for.

Emily wanted their relationship to move away from being casual into one more serious. Wonder how strongly he feels about me? Maybe give it a test. I don't want to be taken for granted. Maybe just a nudge. Wonder if he could be jealous.

Emily was acquainted with the effects of jealousy, both in herself and others. She knew the green-eyed monster could raise doubts, anxiety and fears, particularly when she thought she'd lose out on something she wanted for her own. Thus was her fear about John. She wanted them to be a steady couple, but he seemed satisfied just sitting next to each other in class, sharing a table for a random lunch or cafeteria dinner, or for an occasional movie or student event. She felt sure that he liked her and was interested in hanging out with her, but she wanted the comfortable feeling that he desired only her, although she really hadn't seen him with other girls. She wanted that same intensity he had towards his studies, his assignments and grades coming her way also. Would jealousy work? Maybe if it was a guy he'd like to protect me from - hum, who? Emily spent a lot of her hours, which cut into her concentration in class, scheming. What if this backfires? It won't, I can make it work perfectly. Now, who should it be? C.C.? He's been tagging me for weeks. Maybe it's time to stop playing hard-to-get. Just say 'Yes.'

John took up Emily's suggestion to stop at the student union for an after-class soda. "Not too many days left of fall and beautiful leaves," Emily opened. "Good weekend to be outside?"

"The best I'll do is walking between dorm and library." John said to her, not picking up on her disappointment. "Tests coming up ... a paper to finish, and my communications group needs to work on our class presentation. Wish Professor Stone had given us more time. Are you ready for exams?" John asked.

"Sort of, but I'm not going to keep my nose in books all weekend. Don't you get burned out?"

"No. Dad says I inherited the power of concentration from my Grandfather. And, I'd like to make him proud with honor grades." He paused before asking, "Will you be at the library on Saturday?"

"Gosh, no, John. I've got a date to go canoeing," Emily said coyly, rolling her big brown eyes.

"Oh, on the little Cedar? With whom?" John raised his eyebrows.

"With C.C. This is the third time he's asked me out but the first time canoeing. Guess he thought it would be more appealing than a movie." Emily waited watchfully.

"With C.C.? That's Chad Conley right? The big man on campus. Didn't know you were next on his list."

"What a small thing to say." Then, in a playful voice, "Do you think I shouldn't go out with him?"

"Emily, you're free to do whatever you want. I have no priority or claims on your time." Certainly not the words Emily wanted to hear. "It's just that he has a reputation for having fun, but not always the best kind." John continued, "But I guess you know that ... you girls certainly must keep tabs on the guys."

"John it's just a canoe. We'll be on water. He'll be paddling. Would you prefer I cancel out?"

"No, just a heads-up. Canoes can be brought in to shore you know."

"John, do I hear a bit of jealousy?" Emily teased. "We could go canoeing."

"Emily, are you working me? Is there an angle here? I don't play games well," John said with a sharp edge. "Let's leave this topic. I have a date with the library and you have one with C.C. Guess, we'll have to see who gets the most out of their date."

"Well, Kathy and Sheri have both gone out with Chad and had a lot of fun. I didn't see them come back with frowns. In fact, I think they're envious of my date with him." Emily wanted to keep the topic going but got nowhere with the effort. The soda glasses were empty and John was picking up his book pack from the floor ready to head out. At the door he said, "Have fun. Be sure you stay on water."

When next they met, Emily wore a bandage on the right side of her forehead with a bruise peeking beyond the edge and a scowl darkening her eyes. "Hi Emily, what's the scoop? Did you get hit with a paddle?" John said lightly as they entered anatomy class.

(Continues...)

Excerpted from Convenient Secretsby Ann Wade Copyright © 2009 by Gertrude Wade. Excerpted by permission.
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