Bound by the Book (Paperback)

Paperback. Inheriting his late great-uncle's three-story seaside estate in Campbell River, British Columbia, felt like pure providential grace for Martin and Rosemary-a devout Christian couple and rising theological podcasters. The scenic property was to be the ultimate base camp for summer salmon fishing runs and a quiet sanctuary to scale up their digital media network. The interior of the house, however, is less of a sanctuary. While the tactically brilliant, administratively ruthless Rosemary treats the cluttered estate like a high-stakes corporate restructuring project, the couple uncovers a true treasure tucked away inside a velvet-lined cedar chest: a massive, pristine 1611 King James Version Bible. Bound in thick calfskin, the sacred text naturally falls open on their studio windowsill to Revelation Chapter 20. Martin leaves it there to frame the sunset, completely unaware that the ink on the ancient linen pages is about to ignite. By two in the morning, a supernatural cold front plunges the studio into sub-zero temperatures. As neon blue scriptural energy bleeds from the typography, it triggers a cosmic loophole. Trapped within a thirty-three point three foot radius outside the upstairs window is Casperitis: a melodramatic, 1611-verse-spouting vanguard of Hell sent on an apocalyptic soul-winning mission. Bound by the unyielding physical geography of the scriptural text, Casperitis cannot cross the threshold so long as the Good Book remains open. Rather than panicking, Martin and Rosemary do what any resourceful Canadians would do: they aggressively monetize and weaponize the entity. Realizing the benefits of a demon trapped by a book-and the fact that any evil Casperitis tries to unleash is instantly turned into good by God-they decide to put Hell's vanguard to work. They hilariously utilize his unique, chaotic qualities for home improvements, converting his apocalyptic fury into basic household helper energy. Even out on the ocean, Casperitis remains bound by the text. Tethered to his thirty-three point three foot invisible sphere, he inadvertently becomes the ultimate fishing asset: the most disgruntled, subservient, semi-ethereal servant a family could ever ask for. When Casperitis demands a fifty-percent cut of the digital bounty, Martin shuts him down using the strict electronic mandates of Canadian anti-money laundering regulations. Instead, Rosemary bypasses his demonic pride entirely, partnering with a custom manufacturing firm to launch a hyper-allergenic "Window Demon Plushie"-a masterstroke that crashes their Shopify plugin. Driven to existential humiliation by a landslide loss in a live-streamed theological debate, Casperitis escalates his digital resistance to raw linguistic violence, but fails due to God's "Good Book Filter." Armed with industrial-grade Shure SM7B dynamic microphones and a heavy-duty pop filter taped across the window frame, the couple records the tectonic rumblings of the abyss. Combined with the KJV Filter, the reality-shattering curses are instantly converted into a velvety, ultra-smooth, late-night radio-friendly baritone. Global super chats flood the screen as viewers actively beg the terrifying demon of the bottomless pit to read relaxing ASMR bedtime stories. But Hell's upper management is keeping score. When the corporate underworld notices the severe apocalyptic deficit caused by Casperitis's forced domestic labor, they dispatch a terrifying Chief Auditor through the basement washing machine to enforce an emergency asset liquidation. Bound by the Book is a high-octane, laugh-out-loud contemporary supernatural satire that proves simple Sunday-school clarity, ironclad tax documents, and a little West Coast ingenuity can house-train the forces of darkness and turn spiritual warfare into a highly profitable internet relaxation asset.< Shipping may be from multiple locations in the US or from the UK, depending on stock availability.…