The Book We Wish We Had : How We Stayed Hopeful When Hope Wasn't Enough

Lisa Bachman’s son, Justin, was sick, suffering, and broken. Lisa and her husband, Ron, had no idea how to heal, help, or fix him. His third suicide attempt, by the time he was eleven years old, was their final wake-up call. Although he survived, their family was left without a roadmap. They would start down a path through a maze, hit a wall, turn around, and begin again. Thankfully, with help, they found their way. Not only did they get through extraordinarily difficult times with a suicidal son, but he went on to start a nationwide nonprofit organization and become a motivational speaker who led more that 150 full-school assemblies for students in grades five through twelve in sixteen states-all before he turned eighteen.

Mental health problems and the subsequent intolerance and isolation are some of the most prevalent, yet least discussed issues facing parents and kids today. Children and teens are overscheduled, overstimulated, and dealing with challenges and questions that adults could never have imagined. Add in undiagnosed issues, willful ignorance, limited resources, refusal of the school to provide resources and abandonment from those believed to be a support system, and readers will get a glimpse of the obstacles the Bachman family had to overcome to navigate the first twelve years of their son’s life. 

Bachman wrote The Book We Wish We Had to share her triumphs but even more so, to share her struggles. By revealing her vulnerabilities and missteps, her hope is that readers will relate and become better able to understand that their experiences and feelings are normal as they find their way out of their maze.

The Book We Wish We Had addresses issues head-on with raw realism, humor, and hope as Bachman tells the story of how her family navigated their son Justin’s suicide attempts, medical, and mental illness. More than a memoir, this book is a resource that speaks truth to the pain that is so difficult to voice and share. 

The Book We Wish We Had shares practical tools-like finding healthcare practitioners who see the child and not his/her (mis)diagnosis-and unconventional ones like learning to speak with your child in an entirely new way by using questions instead of statements. The book maps out the conversations the family had that taught their son to have with his siblings, other kids, and people in positions of authority. They show readers how they stood up for their needs and their son’s as they came to realize that teachers and doctors are not all knowing and that it’s important for parents to trust their hearts.

Lisa Bachman is a proud and loving wife of thirty-six years, the mother of three grown children, and grandmother to two little boys (so far). Never a person to back down from a challenge, she undertook her most difficult test with tenacity. The life of her youngest son, Justin, was in the balance, both physically and emotionally. With no guidebook to refer to, she was forced to jump in blind. The lessons she learned, both good and bad, resulted in The Book We Wish We Had. Her passion to give back began months after Justin was born. When the doctors told Bachman and her husband their 7-day-old son had a 2% chance of survival, her family pulled together and helped him get well. He was left with many issues that caused him to endure extreme bullying and intolerance. He attempted suicide three times before the age of eleven, but her family never gave up on him. After being diagnosed with Tourette Syndrome which is a life-long condition, and overcoming severe ADHD and executive function disorder, Justin rose above his challenges and created a non-profit organization called Different Like You (DLY) which she also worked for. In a three-year period, they reached over 500,000 people with their programming. They saved lives and provided vital support. To this day, Bachman will stop whatever she is doing to offer love and help to a family in need.At the start of her career, Bachman was a computer programmer, but realized she would rather talk with people than machines, and rose through the corporate ranks becoming a top sales producer at Cisco Systems. When Justin was born, she launched a non-traditional marketing agency called All Points Connect. For eighteen years, she grew this thriving nationwide organization and enjoyed a decade of relationships with the Cleveland Cavaliers and worked with NASCAR, Dunlop Tires, Sherwin Williams, Clear Channel, General Mills, Liquid Nails, CBS Sports, AEG, and many others all while raising three children and dealing with Justin's issues. Bachman is a career fundraiser and has raised millions of dollars for a variety of nonprofit organizations.When the call of Justin's nonprofit-Different Like You-tugged at her heartstrings, she closed the company to concentrate on those efforts full time.Bachman is a seasoned public speaker, focusing on topics ranging from raising children with differences, suicide prevention, achieving work/life balance, Tourette Syndrome, volunteerism, non-profit organizations, human resources, and marketing. She write articles and blogs related to these subjects, and the teachers, therapists and families who she has reached often give her contact information to parents and kids in need of urgent assistance. Bachman practices what she preaches, both personally and professionally-striving to be someone who makes a difference and gives back as much and as often as possible.

Justin Bachman knows first-hand what it is like to be different. He has Tourette Syndrome, a neurological disorder that causes his body to make strange movements and noises that he cannot control. He also deals with severe ADHD and dysgraphia which is a fine motor skills disorder resulting in an inability to write legibly. Throughout his life, Justin has faced many challenges. He was constantly bullied in grade school and attempted suicide 3 times before the age of 11. During the 2012 school year, his disabilities caused him to be unable to walk for the school year and spent 6 months confined to a wheel chair.Through great strength and courage, Justin has used his experiences to rise above his differences. Justin graduated from Syracuse University's S.I. Newhouse School of Public Communications with a degree in Communications and Broadcast Journalism and has been a live on-air reporter for ABC News in Grand Rapids, Michigan.Justin's most noted accomplishment has been the creation of a non-profit organization called Honor Good Deeds. His mission is to empower people to embrace their differences and live loud - being proud of who you are and being able to show that off to others. He has been a motivational speaker reaching over 125,000 people in 16 states.The signature event of Honor Good Deeds is an event called the Tolerance Fair. The event brings together non-profit and resource organizations to help people learn empowerment tools by finding resources and participating in community involvement. The six Tolerance Fairs combined have attracted over 15,000 people.Justin is a Global Teen Leader in the Three Dot Dash program of the We Are Family Foundation. Justin has received numerous awards including the Maltz Museum Stop the Hate Youth Speak Out grand prize, the inaugural Peace First Fellowship Prize, Clark-Reliance Youth Philanthropy award, Kohl's Kids Who Care, two gold medal President's Volunteer Service Awards from President Barak Obama and the Council on Service and Civic Participation.