I Had a Ball

iUniverse, Inc.

Chapter One

How do I even begin to tell the story of a young boy who grew up in Canada and moved to Hollywood, California, where he would later become friends with one of the biggest and brightest television personalities of all time, Lucille Ball?

Oh, wait. I just did.

Although Lucy is no longer here, the memory of her warm and free-spirited presence still lingers in my mind. Not a day goes by that I don't think or talk about Lucy. Her impact on my life is undeniable. I used to eat, drink, sleep, and watch Lucy. If Lucy said on TV to do something, I'd rush to do it, without a moment of hesitation. If my parents told me to do the same thing, I'd argue until I was blue in the face. In my eyes, Lucy could do no wrong. With her wit and enthusiasm, she lived life without limitation, embracing the capricious nature of it with all of herself.

I lived in Winnipeg for the first six years of my life. From what I can remember, it was an enjoyable and carefree time, a time in which I was free to explore and create and imagine.

At one point of my young life in Canada, we moved to a small city sixty miles west of Winnipeg called Portage La Prairie. Full of nature and open spaces, the area offered the perfect environment in which my two older siblings and I could play. There was a nearby lake that we spent a great deal of time at. In the winter, I would go out into the snow with my brother, Jeffrey (seven years older than me), and my sister, Maxine (five years older). During the summers, we spent all our time at the local Dairy Queen.

Back in Canada, there was no shortage of family gatherings. I had a slew of aunts, uncles, and cousins whom I saw on a regular basis. Whether it was having meals together or hanging around my grandfather's grocery store and lunch counter, we were a tightknit bunch.

On August 1, 1967, my parents, siblings, and I gathered up our belongings and headed to Hollywood! Well, more like the San Fernando Valley part of the Los Angeles suburbs. My Aunt Anne and Uncle Bernard, from my mother's side of the family, were already living in Southern California, and my parents thought it would be a good idea to move close to them.

Since I had never been to Los Angeles, I didn't know what to expect. We arrived in the palm-tree-laced town on August 6, which just so happened to be Lucy's birthday. Although I wasn't aware of it at the time, my path toward Lucy had just begun.

The first time I ever saw Lucille Ball, it was on the big screen in the 1968 film Yours, Mine and Ours. The film starred Lucy, Henry Fonda, Van Johnson, and Tom Bosley and was written by Lucy's TV writers, Bob Carroll Jr. and Madelyn Pugh Davis. I was only seven years old when the movie came out. At the time, I was back in Winnipeg for a family gathering. My parents basically forced my sister, Maxine, to take me to the movie theater for the afternoon.

My sister was always the one who ended up taking me to the movies. I still recall the first movie she took me to when I was five years old. It was the 1966 Herman's Hermits (a Beatles-type singing group) film, Hold On!

Since I was a very hyper child, it was quite a challenge for my sister to keep me calm and in my seat during any movie. With my boundless energy and short attention span, I would often get up and run around the theater.

However, with Yours, Mine and Ours, it was different. There was something about this one that stood out from the others I had seen. The forty-foot-tall, red-haired lady on the screen had my complete focus. Her radiance and charisma had me hooked. Once the movie finished, I had already made up my mind to go see it again. I begged my parents to take me back a few days later. This request from a kid who could not keep still for the life of him.

A few months later, I was watching TV in our Los Angeles apartment and a show called I Love Lucy came on. From exhilarating start to climactic finish, I simply could not stop laughing.

"You know, that's Lucille Ball," my aunt Anne told me after the show was over. "She's that same lady who was in Yours, Mine and Ours." I was completely puzzled for a moment. Lucy Ricardo and Helen North had two completely different personalities. It never struck me that it was the same woman playing both roles! Perhaps it was the fact that the movie was in color and the television show was in black and white that threw me completely off. I wasn't quite sure. But what I was sure about was that at that moment, a new Lucy fan came to be.

* * *

For the next few years, I made it my mission to watch Lucy every night at 7:00 p.m. At the time, there was nothing I looked forward to more. I Love Lucy was one of my favorite shows. Every time I sat down to watch it, the walls of the apartment living room seemed to expand with the promise of newness. Television transported me to another place, one that was rich with humor, intrigue, and character.

During that time, I watched a lot of other shows. Shows like The Patty Duke Show, Please Don't Eat the Daisies, The Mothers-in-Law, Family Affair, Green Acres, The Brady Bunch, and The Partridge Family. My parents even let me stay up late on Monday nights to watch Lucy's third sitcom, Here's Lucy, which started in 1968 and ran until 1974. Although it was a bit challenging for me to wrap my mind around Lucy Ricardo and Lucy Carter being the same person, nevertheless, I enjoyed watching Lucy immensely. Here's Lucy was just another opportunity to witness her limitless genius.

* * *

I had a childhood friend named Holly who lived right across the street from me. We shared a closeness that was unparalleled in any of the other friendships I had. We spent hours playing and getting into all kinds of trouble with one another, inside and outside of school.

Then one day Holly and her family moved away, leaving me absolutely heartbroken. I needed a new friend.

But who could replace Holly?

I looked around and found no answers.

However, it just so happened that the new people who moved into Holly's house filled that void for me completely.

My new neighbors were Marcia and John Brenner, a warm and welcoming couple who had just recently gotten married. When they bought the house, little did they know that I was included in the sale!

I spent countless hours at their home. Marcia and John had a love of television as well, and they often invited me to watch all kinds of shows with them. Marcia even gave me all of her celebrity magazines in which Lucy graced the pages. And thus began my Lucy collection. I would immediately cut Lucy's images out of the magazines, careful not to make any crooked edges. Once I was finished, I would staple the pictures to the walls of my bedroom. Pretty soon, my bedroom walls were completely plastered with Lucy pictures.

After some time, I made an incredible discovery: Marcia had a connection to Lucy. Marcia's mother, Peggy, worked for a man named Ben Kanter, who was the saxophonist for the Here's Lucy band on Thursdays, the day the show filmed in front of a live studio audience. Upon learning of this connection, pure adrenaline pumped through my insides. This was my way in.

Marcia reached out to Peggy, who reached out to Ben. And after just one conversation, Peggy was able to talk him into getting me tickets to the show. When I heard the news, I could hardly believe it. The luminous actress I had spent the last few years watching on my television was now going to be in the exact same room with me. It was too surreal for words.

On Thursday, October 28, 1971, I went to my very first filming of Here's Lucy. Luckily, my parents were cool enough to let me skip school that day, as they knew how important this was to me. It was a once-in-a-lifetime event, one that I would never forget.

We drove to Universal Studios, home of Here's Lucy, and arrived at noon. My brother, Jeffrey, was fortunate enough to be the one to escort me. We walked right up to Guest Relations. As we approached the desk, I took a couple of quick breaths, trying to cool my nervousness.

A few days ago, Peggy had informed me that the minimum age to see the show was twelve. At that point, I wasn't even eleven yet.

"If they ask you how old you are, just tell 'em you're twelve," Peggy advised me

I nodded, confident that I would make it through with no problems. But now, standing there in front of the desk, that confidence was miles away. In my head, I started to doubt myself. I thought it might be too good to be true. What if I didn't make it in to see Lucy?

As the gentleman at the desk looked over at me, I adjusted my shoulders and straightened my posture, in an attempt to look mature. It must have worked, because he never asked me my age. He just gestured toward the food court and told us to wait there until we were called inside.

We sat down and went about the business of waiting. I shifted in my seat, eager to get into the studio.

Then, after what seemed to be hours (although it was probably more like twenty minutes), the voice of the gentleman from Guest Relations sounded over a loudspeaker: "If you're on the guest list for Here's Lucy, please line up by the tram."

Before the man could even get the words out, I had leaped off my seat, ready to go.

Forty of us guests piled into a studio tram and were zipped over to Stage Twenty-Four in about five minutes. As we pulled up, my eyes immediately went to the massive posters of Lucy, Lucie Arnaz, and Gale Gordon that were hanging outside the studio. Jabs of excitement went up and down my spine.

We were then ushered into the soundstage. It was empty, except for all of the guests. An usher asked for our names again, and we were efficiently escorted to our reserved seats, which were in the corner of the far left section, facing the stage. When we arrived there, we found pieces of masking tape with the name "STERN" on them attached to our seats. Those seats belonged to us.

The rest of the studio audience was divided into three sections. Once we had settled into our seats, about two hundred other people were then ushered into the studio. (I later learned that every Thursday afternoon, people who went on the studio tram tours had the chance to win seats to see Here's Lucy. One lucky tram was picked at random and then invited to see the show.)

After the general public was seated, about twenty people from backstage were escorted to their seats. Lucy's mom, DeDe, was one of them, along with actor/comedian Jesse White, who sat behind us. (At the time, I recognized him as the Maytag repairman from the TV commercials, but I didn't know his name. He also guest starred in countless TV shows.)

Lucy's orchestra came out to perform on a platform that was located on the far right side of the audience. Orchestra leader Marl Young entertained us with a flurry of magnificent tones and chords for the next twenty minutes. He then introduced announcer Roy Rowan, who had been with Lucy from the very beginning of I Love Lucy.

After chatting for a few minutes with the audience, Roy introduced Lucy's husband, Gary Morton, who told a series of jokes and stories for five minutes. While he was up there, Gary also mentioned that Lucy was very excited, as her special guest the week before had been her longtime friend Vivian Vance, who played the character Ethel Mertz from I Love Lucy. He went on to say that today she was pleased to have another one of her longtime friends present. His name was Bob Cummings, and he was really famous in the fifties and sixties. I had no idea who he was at the time, but found out later that he was the star of Love That Bob and The Bob Cummings Show. The shows weren't in reruns. He had also guest starred in an episode of the Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour show called "The Ricardos Go to Japan."

Gary went on to introduce the cast. I sat up straight in my seat, craning my neck, preparing to get a glimpse of all the performers. First out was Lucie Arnaz, who played Lucy's daughter Kim. Sporting a big and beautiful smile, she took a gracious bow as the audience cheered.

Next up was Gale Gordon. Gary introduced Gale as Lucy's good luck charm. He told us that Gale had worked with Lucy on radio and every series that Lucy had ever done. Now he was playing Uncle Harry, Lucy's boss and brother-in-law. He came out, took a bow, and performed a perfect cartwheel as he left the stage.

After Gale disappeared from view, Gary turned back to the audience and took a deep breath. It was time to introduce Lucy.

After dazzling us with a glowing introduction, Gary called out Lucy's name. Before he could even get her entire name out, the audience was already cheering and getting on their feet. Then in an instant, Lucy burst out from behind a curtain on center stage.

Lucy's penetrating blue eyes scanned the audience. From the looks of the tremendous smile that filled her face, she was thrilled to be receiving a standing ovation (even though she probably had received hundreds in the past). The Here's Lucy theme music started to play at full volume, filling the air with energy and excitement.

With her red hair ablaze, Lucy engaged the audience with all of herself. First, she ran to the section I was in and started blowing kisses and waving. I looked out at her, waving back, my eyes large and my breath suspended. After all this time, I was actually getting to see Lucy outside the confines of my television set. I could hardly believe that she was a mere forty feet away.

For a ten-year-old kid like me, this meant the world.

Within a few seconds, Lucy had turned from our section and was already headed toward the other end of the stage, where she continued to blow kisses and wave. After that, she headed back to center stage, where Gary handed her a microphone.

I, along with the rest of the audience, sat back down, eager to hear what Lucy had to say. She introduced her mom, DeDe, who she told us was at every filming. She also introduced her friend Jesse White. As she continued to speak, I sat there completely still, not moving a single muscle. I was afraid that if I did, I would somehow miss something that Lucy was saying.

At the end of her quick speech, Lucy looked out at the audience and beamed. "I think we have a great show for you this afternoon. Thanks so much for being here!"

With that, Lucy handed the microphone back to Gary, and all the stagehands and cameramen got to their posts to start filming "Lucy's Punctured Romance," which was written by Fred S. Fox and Seaman Jacobs.

As Lucy left the stage, stagehands revealed the center set by moving apart five curtains on rollers. It was the living room of the Carters, the place where the characters of Lucy and Kim lived. Sitting on the sofa was Mary Jane Croft, who Gary introduced to everyone in the audience.

Mary Jane was a semi-regular on the show. She played Betty Ramsey, the Westport neighbor on I Love Lucy. On The Lucy Show, she played Mary Jane Lewis, Lucy's neighbor in California. And now on Here's Lucy, she was again playing her friend Mary Jane.

I was ecstatic to see her because I remembered her from all the other Lucy shows. Not only that, she was one of my favorite television characters.

Leaning toward the audience, microphone in hand, Gary set the scene with his smooth and articulate manner, telling us that it was a Saturday afternoon in the Carter home.

As the show began to unfold, I sat there mesmerized. Magic was being made before my very eyes. I locked in, transfixed by every moment, every gesture, every line. I did not take a single detail for granted.

In the episode, Lucy met a handsome bachelor (Bob Cummings), and the fire of romance was lit between them. However, the Carters' milkman told Kim that the man drank a lot and had a bevy of girls visiting his home. Kim and Uncle Harry schemed to save Lucy from herself by making Bob think Lucy was a deaf, alcoholic, hot-pepper-eating harlot.

The actual filming took less than ninety minutes. During the breaks, Lucy would look out at the audience and crack jokes. Everyone was delighted by her humor and spontaneity.

(Continues...)

Excerpted from I Had a Ballby Michael Z. Stern Copyright © 2011 by Michael Z. Stern. Excerpted by permission of iUniverse, Inc.. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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