The Magic of Being You

Greatness doesn't come from what you do, but from who you are. —Marie Forleo

The Awesome Factor

We've all heard that great customer service will set you apart from other businesses selling the same product. There is no doubt about this.

I've gone into a business establishment at a strip mall and walked out because of the sheer smugness or rudeness of the person behind the counter. Customer service is important in your business; you don't want people to go next door because they are dissatisfied. But that's not all you need. You need a secret sauce that makes your business unique and authentically you.

The Awesome Factor is about having something so remarkably unique in the way your do business that people will come to you regardless of your competition, simply to experience your brand. People want to have great experiences, they want to feel good when they do business with other people, and they want to rave to their friends about these awesome experiences.

The economy is only bad for people who are unwilling to make changes. This is a bold statement, I know. But it's true. I realize that every day, many people lose their jobs. Technology changes, and new discoveries automate tasks that people used to perform. Companies downsize to save money, and because of the fear the press instills in us, people spend less money, even if they have the same amount to spend.

But do you know what? Every business out there was originally just an idea someone had. Even airplanes were just an idea at one point. We have become so accustomed to our societal ways of living that many people don't believe they can become part of the economy too. Or better yet, they can create their own economies.

There has never been a better time to start your own business. And women can't ignore the fact that the world needs us. It needs a softer side, a more caring side. It needs right brainers, creativity, spunk, and imagination. The world needs more love! Disclaimer: I am sure there are plenty of men who can offer any or all of these as well.

Interesting fact: Did you know that the Constitution of the United States was modeled after the constitution that the Indians (who lived here before us) already had in place? There were two areas we decided not to implement into our Constitution.

• In the Indian Constitution, women selected the next chief (president). This was because women would know what characteristics defined a good hunter, a good provider, and a nurturing father.

• The Indian Constitution established what they referred to as "The House of Grandmothers," which was similar to the US Senate. The grandmothers, or women elders, were considered more experienced and could offer better advice about tribal decisions. I wonder what our country would be like if women were the sole deciding group on our next leader and they filled every seat of our Senate.

You may be wondering what exactly is awesome about you and your business idea. What special skills do you have?

I watched a recent video by Marie Forleo (http://MarieForleo. com). She talks about how to approach certain questions: What should I do with my life? What do I want to do when I grow up? We all have asked ourselves those questions, probably many times. I absolutely loved her spin on that question. She suggested asking this question in a different way:

Who Do You Want to Be?

What kind of person do you want to be? I went down the path of thinking about other people rather than things. I wanted to emotionally connect with my world. The characteristics that came to my mind immediately were: playful, loving, and giving.

Start considering what kinds of things would help you be the person you want to be. How would I be a playful brand or individual—or a loving person? How can you express that into your business? After all, Marie says we are human beings, not human doings! I love her work; I highly recommend checking her out.

I don't have the exact answers about what you should do in terms of a business, but I do have questions that may help you further identify your path.

• Do you have a special skill that you love? How can you help others with that skill? Could you teach it? Sell it? Write about it? Speak about it?

• Do others see a special skill in you that keeps coming up? Have more than two or three unrelated individuals mentioned this to you? If so, how do you feel about exploring that skill further so you can perfect it? Is this something people have noticed because it has helped them in some way? Have people offered to pay you money in exchange?

• What is the one thing you cannot stop thinking about? Is there a particular task you often perform—maybe as part of your daily routine—or look forward to? This could be one task or a series of tasks. For example, in my instructional design work, I love the design stage. I dream about the layout, the way I will engage the audience, and the theme I want to use. And although I like the development piece as well, I dream about the design part. And I hate the closing! I would rather build it, pass it on to someone else to put it in the system, and do all the other technological things that make it go live.

• Is there something in particular you might feel drawn toward?

In this book, I am going to help you dig deep for inspiration so you can design your own path, and I am going to share several ideas and methods to help you put things into motion. Your business will start to take shape in your mind and in the real world. My wish is for you to take what you want or need from this book, and I hope the book becomes a catalyst in your life.

Living My Life by Default

I have no idea how I got to where I was prior to writing this book. Forty-four years of my life were pretty much lived by default. Eighteen or so of those years probably don't count since I didn't get to make that many decisions as a child, but that leaves my entire adult life.

I did not thoughtfully seek out any of my jobs. I am pretty much a stranger to my family. I'd be willing to bet that, even today, they have no clue who I am as a person. I mean that from a personality perspective because I see my family quite often. I attend most, if not all, family gatherings and show up to every Christmas dinner and gift exchange. They see me; they just don't know me.

For some reason, somewhere along the way, I became the black sheep of the family. I think I know how it happened, and the reason was pretty innocent. We moved from Spain to the United States in 1984 when I started high school. High school is a very difficult time for any child, let alone one who is trying to live in one culture by day (school) and a different one (home) by night. I was able to participate in sports and such, but dating was out of the question until I was a junior. I was never allowed to go to any parties or senior days at the lake. I don't even remember being invited to any actually. And going to the senior fling was out of the question; I didn't even ask.

I don't think I had a terrible upbringing. I have fun memories of high school. I had great friends who I still think of fondly. Plus, Facebook has helped us stay in touch. I am thankful for all the parental protection; I know it was done out of love and to keep me out of trouble for as long as possible.

I was the only one of my siblings in high school at the time. My two older siblings were in college, and my younger brother was still four years behind me. As a side note, his high school experience was way different than mine. By the time he got to high school, my parents were a lot more acclimated to American culture. Or maybe they just gave in. I don't know. He had a lot more freedom in high school than I did. Partly, because he is a guy—another cultural bias—but I was okay with it.

College was the first time I felt a little more independent. I know this happens to all young adults at that stage, but I am willing to bet that most had already experienced a lot more than I did by the time I got to college: social gatherings, having a job, traveling with friends, dating, etc. I was starting from square one. I felt rushed to experience all of it at once.

I think wanting all these things all at once sort of threw my parents into a frenzy, and I pretty quickly earned the black sheep status.

I was trouble ... if you consider trouble wanting to stay at the university on the weekends (instead of driving home every Friday) so I could go dancing with my friends, hang out with my boyfriend, or play in weekend volleyball tournaments. It didn't seem like trouble to me, but to my parents, I was quite the challenge. My older siblings and I literally drove to and from the university every day for the first couple of years, and we shared an apartment for the last two, but we went home religiously every Friday. This was their cultural adjustment while I was going through my own adjustments in high school.

In a sense, I upped the ante when I got to college. My younger brother upped the ante when he got to high school. Older siblings always have it tougher. Good thing I was in the middle!

All that said, I have no doubt that my family loves me. We all love each other even though these words have never been uttered to each other, except maybe by my mom when we were little. It is just assumed that we do. Period.

If I think about it long enough and try to analyze it, is there such a thing as destiny? Or is not believing in destiny also planned, therefore, all is by default? I don't want to scare myself down this rabbit hole, so I will leave it as another one of those thoughts I have that make me question all I finally understand to be true.

Let me expand on my use of the word default. I didn't graduate from high school with an urge to study anything specific. It was just a natural progression to go to college; I even had a scholarship. I went happily and pretty much selected all my classes by my "easy-enough meter." Let's do all the basics first, and then let's just go with ... psychology (eeny-meeny-miny-mo)! I can do this!

In contrast, all three of them, knew exactly what degree they wanted to get (they are all engineers), why, and the type of job they wanted after college. I had to go with psychology. It was literally because math and I were not friends. Engineering was not a satisfying idea in my head. My siblings are all very smart. They have master's degrees in their chosen field, but none of them are currently employed as engineers. What can I say? Life happens. I am also not employed as a psychologist.

When I graduated from college I had no idea—or even a conscious thought—how I would use this degree to get a job. It did not occur to me that this was the trajectory to follow. I felt so young and immature. I was sure no one in his or her right mind (no pun intended) would consider hiring me to do anything related to psychology. I soon realized you pretty much need a master's degree or a PhD to go that route. Had I known, I would have chosen a degree in Spanish.

Looking back, I am pretty confident that I didn't think about jobs or a future because I thought my parents already had all this figured out for me somehow. I was completely dependent on them (not so much financially but mentally) even after college. I was sure they knew what life had in store for me. I wasn't worried at all. My parents have always been there for everything.

I have never lacked for anything. I didn't have to live in a van or a car. Being poor never entered my mind. Not because we weren't, but because I never thought of it in terms of rich or poor. I was just being. That makes sense to me, and I hope it will to you by the end of this book. Simply being has provided what I need—when I need it. Always.

Although I had a couple part-time jobs on campus that were flexible around my schedule, I decided to get a part-time job at a bank during my last semester in college. The pay was awesome. The job led to a few wrong choices, but I went from a part-time job at the bank to a full-time job doing the same thing right after college. Score!

I was young. My "real" life was coming soon. I didn't need to worry about it yet. My parents would just tell me what to do when the time came.

I had my full-time job as a debt collector, and I was happily working and making pretty decent money—with bonuses. This was my default job #1.

I moved around the bank two or three times, moving from phones to operations supervisor, which I loved. I am still in contact with the manager I had at the time. Donielle was an inspiring and amazing woman who taught me so much. She awoke my technical side by helping me build my first database, which led to all my other technical and creative inclinations. I was also a project manager and a coordinator. My tenure at the bank lasted approximately nine years. I kept doing what I was resourced to do. I never stopped to think about what I loved doing. I worked because it was the natural thing to do. I was making money to pay rent.

A new project manager started working in our group and seemed to take a keen interest in my abilities. She took me under her wing but moved to another company after six months. For some reason, she decided I needed to continue working with her, and she recommended me for a job as a business analyst. What is a business analyst? I did not know. But I had landed default job #2.

They are going to pay me how much? Yes, I would like to interview. And I got the job. Fourteen years later, I am still working for this company, which I enjoy.

In 2000, I wanted to build a little page to share the details of my first wedding and the ceremony with my out-of-town guests. I taught myself web design for this purpose only.

My ex-father-in-law owned a radio business and wanted me to design a website for him. He was my first client. Web design on the side became my default job/first home-business endeavor #3.

After a couple of years as a business analyst I ended up in a technical role at the company. I did more designing and went from business analyst to database administrator to project manager to instructional designer. I really loved the design part. I am extremely good at this. However, I would still call this my default job #4.

During those fourteen years, the thought of owning my own business became unshakable. For many years, I thought web design was it. I was pretty good at it and had enough referrals to keep it moving on the side. But I was working literally night and day to meet deadlines. It was very tiring and started to really get to me. I went from having one boss to having ten little bosses. Ugh. It was not my idea of entrepreneurialism! I was working way more on my business than I ever thought possible. I didn't have enough hours in the day to accomplish everything. It was not what I wanted. Knowing what I didn't want was at least not by default.

I pursued the next option of attaining the elusive time freedom business: network marketing. And I seemed to be pretty good at it, but for about six years, I had nothing in terms of profit. I always broke even (which is better than being in the negative). It wasn't until I combined my blogging and web design skills, with my marketing ideas that my network marketing business took off online. I was hitting page 1 of Google in no time! I for sure thought this was it! Now we have default "job/business on the side" #5.

Network marketing, as it turns out, is quite unpredictable in terms of a regular paycheck. I am a six-figure earner with my current company and drive a paid-for BMW. I have achieved this by working part-time in this business online. Most importantly I think, I have been with this company since 2010. I was told that if I just followed the company's system, I could duplicate the success in others. However, the only thing that ever worked for me in this particular industry has been by not following their system. Go figure. I am pretty sure it is just my personality though because there are many individuals in my team who follow the system quite successfully.